Chaos can feel like a brain wipe, washing your soul of all that it knows and leaving you staring blankly mid-conversation.

On this episode of Neither Here Nor There, host Ruthie Gomez talks with co-host Laura about caring for your soul during the chaos stage of transition. They explore how the overwhelming nature of chaos can make it difficult to focus on anything, leading to forgotten tasks and mental fog as your brain tries to process countless details simultaneously. Laura shares her current experience preparing for a six-month transition and the creative discipline required to maintain spiritual practices during chaotic seasons.

They discuss practical soul care strategies including setting timers for prayer and Bible reading, listening to scripture when normal study feels overwhelming, and using ancient spiritual practices with intentional flexibility. The conversation addresses how familiar routines help us remember who we are during destabilizing seasons, and why chaos often requires leaning into creative adaptations of spiritual disciplines rather than abandoning them entirely. They emphasize that chaos is precisely when soul care becomes most essential, even if it looks different from settled seasons. "Are there some tools that you have that you use that are helpful in the chaos season to kind of keep your soul on track?" Laura asks. "Well, I'm an auditory learner and I really like listening to the Bible because I can be doing something else at the same time," Ruthie explains. "That's really important in this season."

The conversation includes practical recommendations for soul care resources including liturgical prayers for those who struggle to form words during overwhelming seasons, scripture-based music that engages different learning styles, and the importance of transitional objects that provide tangible stability. Ruthie and Laura emphasize that God reveals himself uniquely during transition seasons, showing up as Provider, Rock, and stability when our normal anchors feel shaken.

Resources mentioned:

• Liturgies and Laments for the Sojourner

• Every Moment Holy, Volume I: New Liturgies for Daily Life (Over 100 Prayers and Illustrations for Practicing Mindfulness of the Presence of God in the Ordinary)

• Scripture Lullabies

• ‎StreetlightsBible

• Genesis 1

The chaos stage is aptly named - it's when you are absolutely in between, beginning with the end and ending with the beginning.

On this episode of Neither Here Nor There, host Ruthie Gomez talks with co-host Laura about the chaos stage of the transition cycle, the most stressful phase when people go into survival mode. They discuss how chaos can last anywhere from hours to years depending on circumstances, sharing personal stories of extended periods living out of suitcases, delayed housing arrangements, and unexpected school changes that stretched far beyond original timelines. Ruthie emphasizes that chaos becomes more complicated when the time period extends beyond expectations or when the end date is unknown.

They explore practical survival strategies including maintaining simple routines with children, using transitional objects for continuity, and accepting that regression is normal during times of change. Ruthie offers compassionate advice about lowering expectations during this stage, noting that no one is their best self in chaos and that the goal should be survival rather than thriving. The conversation addresses how chaos can manifest internally even when external circumstances appear orderly.

"The chaos stage can last as long as it takes for the new beginning to start. The most stressful times of chaos are when we don't know what's next or how long the chaos will last," Ruthie explains. "For example, a teacher leaving her teaching job to begin a new job in the same school as the school librarian has its level of chaos.  But much more so the one who is leaving a job and doesn’t know what is next or when."

The episode features an extensive interview with John Carrano, pastor of the International Church in Barcelona, who offers a transformative perspective on chaos as a friend rather than an enemy. John shares insights from his military childhood, moving through nine schools in six countries, and explains how embracing chaos can lead to innovation, renewed creativity, and personal growth. He discusses the importance of language in shaping culture, maintaining family traditions and rhythms during unstable times, and viewing chaos as the perfect segue into new seasons rather than something to be endured.

Goodbyes are hard because we weren't made for them - we were fashioned as eternal beings for a world without sorrowful farewells.

On this episode of Neither Here Nor There, host Ruthie Gomez talks with co-host Laura about the deeper spiritual and emotional dimensions of saying goodbye during life transitions. They explore C.S. Lewis's insight that our longing for permanence stems from being made for an eternal country, and how this understanding can transform the way we approach difficult farewells. Laura shares her personal journey from avoiding goodbyes entirely to learning to honor people and places through intentional remembrance.

They discuss the biblical concept of stones of remembrance from the story of Joshua and the Israelites, drawing parallels to how we can mark God's faithfulness through seasons of change. Laura reflects on her growth from driving away from summer camp without saying goodbye to creating meaningful farewell rituals like bookmarks for her children's friends. The conversation addresses how gratitude can transform the leaving stage, recognizing that if it's hard to leave, it means the place and relationships were worth investing in. "I have walked through the last few weeks literally like staring at the ceiling when I wake up thinking, I just really, really don't like this," Laura shares. "But you know, I do think I have gotten better at allowing the leaving stage to build gratitude in my heart."

The episode includes a faith-focused interview with Claire Drudrury, who shares her remarkable story of how God confirmed His calling for her family to move to Barcelona through 21 days of specific signs and encouragement. Ruthie and Laura emphasize how healthy remembrance and gratitude can help process the grief of changing seasons while maintaining hope in God's eternal promises and faithfulness through every transition.

Saying goodbye well requires intentional preparation that can begin months before you actually leave.

On this episode of Neither Here Nor There, host Ruthie Gomez talks with cohost Laura about the leaving phase of the transition cycle and introduces the RAFT tool - an acronym for Reconciliation, Affirmation, Farewell, and Think Forward. They explore how this framework helps individuals and families navigate the emotional complexity of saying goodbye to people, places, pets, and possessions while preparing mentally for the next chapter of their journey.

They explain how reconciliation involves resolving conflicts and offering forgiveness before departure, emphasizing that unresolved issues travel with us to new locations. Ruthie and Laura discuss the importance of affirming people who have made the current season meaningful, understanding cultural farewell customs, and taking time to say proper goodbyes to significant people and places. They address how the leaving phase can extend up to six months and requires intentional planning to leave well and enter the next phase with emotional health. The conversation explores how modern travel's speed can shortchange the emotional processing time that major life transitions require. "I wish that we could take a boat across the ocean like they used to," Laura reflects. "I just feel like I need about two weeks to process everything that's gone on here so that we can get to the other side and be present."

The conversation includes an interview with Claire Dru Drury, a bi-vocational missionary at the International Church of Barcelona and a communications specialist with over 20 years’ corporate experience, who shares tools she's learned from 18 years of international living, including discerning seasons, enjoying the journey rather than focusing solely on the destination, and being kind to yourself during emotional transitions. Ruthie and Laura emphasize that while practical logistics dominate the leaving phase, intentional emotional preparation through the RAFT framework can significantly impact how well families adjust to their new environment.

Books Referenced: Third Culture Kids by David Pollock and Ruth Van Riken

Small uncertainties like currency changes and unfamiliar products can feel overwhelming during major life transitions.

On this mini-sode of Neither Here Nor There, host Ruthie Gomez talks with cohost Laura as they offer soul care for those walking through seasons of change by exploring the unchanging character of God during times of transition. They discuss how minor questions pile up in your mind during moves and how meditating on God's constant nature provides stability when everything else feels uncertain.

They explore the biblical concept of El-Roy, the God who sees, through the story of Hagar in the wilderness and Laura's personal testimony about special dishes during their unexpected move from South Asia to Spain. Ruthie and Laura emphasize how God's character remains steady and unchanging even when circumstances, locations, and possessions shift dramatically during international moves and major life changes. "It was a small detail. But something about that unexpected transaction between us helped me," Laura explains. "It reminded me in a season of loss that God is a Father who gives, who loves, who sees."

The conversation addresses how transitions are destabilizing seasons where small questions pile up and uncertainty weighs on the soul, yet these are often times when people experience the most miracles because they recognize their lack of control. Ruthie and Laura encourage listeners to look for moments when they feel seen by God during difficult seasons and to give thanks out loud for evidence of His care and provision during times of major change.

Can you believe that experiencing complete chaos during major life changes is actually a predictable and normal part of transition?

On this inaugural episode of Neither Here Nor There, host Ruthie Gomez and guest Laura discuss the transition cycle and how understanding its predictable patterns can help anyone navigate times of change with more peace and preparation. They break down the four stages of transition - settled, leaving, chaos, entering, and re-engagement - explaining how each phase brings distinct emotional and practical challenges that affect individuals and families moving through major life changes.

They explore how expectations play a crucial role in determining our emotional response to transition, using the analogy that disappointment serves as an alarm alerting us to unmet expectations. They share personal stories from their international moves, including hilarious package delivery mishaps that illustrate how reality often differs dramatically from our assumptions. They explain how the gap between expectations and reality creates emotional "snap" moments, and offer practical tools for realigning expectations to reduce disappointment during times of change. "Something about hearing you explain this cycle of leaving, chaos, entering, settling, makes me feel like so many of the things that I experience in a life of moving and transition are normal," Laura explains. "I think that's when I've done transition seminars, that's one of the things people come out saying is, I feel normal."

The conversation addresses why depression and anxiety commonly appear during the entering stage rather than the leaving stage, as people actually live the reality of loss rather than just anticipating it. Laura and Ruthie emphasize that no one is the best version of themselves during transition, encouraging grace for both ourselves and our loved ones as we navigate the vulnerability and adjustment periods that come with major life changes.

What if the complete chaos you feel during major life changes is actually totally normal? Join host Ruthie Gomez and guest Laura as they break down the four predictable stages of transition and why understanding this cycle can help you navigate change with more peace and less self-judgment. Because here's the truth: no one is the best version of themselves during transition - and that's perfectly okay.

Neither Here nor There - Helping you feel normal in the chaos of change. New episodes every Friday.