I found myself sitting at a red light the other day, completely calm, speaking my future into existence… like this is what regulation is supposed to look like, right?

And then the next day, I was scream-singing Sofi Tukker, doing my best dance moves in the car thinking waittttt this is also what regulation can look like.

Both felt equally grounding.Both were regulation.

And that’s when it dawned on me that I have been hiding a specific type of “chill out” mentality to you; we’ve been sold a very one-dimensional version of what it means to “calm down.”

What Nervous System Regulation Actually Looks Like

When I was 16, I was sitting on a stiff couch under fluorescent lights in my one and only traditional therapy session.

I didn’t want to be there.Now did I have the language for what I was going through yet.

All I knew was I hated my body and my mind was severely disoriented.

I was undernourished, overstimulated and living in a constant state of fight-or-flight.

And when I was asked to explain “what was wrong,” my body shut down immediately. My first thought was “aren’t you supposed to tell me???”

So when my session was over I matter of factly told my mom “never again.”

Not because I didn’t need support, trust me I REALLY did, but because my body wasn’t ready to process things that way. I didn’t have the words or knowledge to understand the disconnect.

What did help though?Dancing around my room to my favorite song usually did the trick.

At the time, I didn’t have the science for it.Now I do.

The Science: Why Movement and Music Work

Your nervous system isn’t just listening to your thoughts, it’s constantly scanning your environment for cues of safety.

That includes sound, rhythm, and vibration.

* Research shows that music can directly influence dopamine release, improving mood and motivation

* Studies from Harvard Medical School found that dance movement therapy significantly reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety

* Humming, singing, and vocal vibrations stimulate the vagus nerve, which helps shift your body out of stress mode

In simple terms:You don’t always think your way out of stress, sometimes you move your way through it.

Why “Calm” Isn’t Always the Goal

Sometimes your system doesn’t need stillness.

Sometimes it needs release.

Trying to force yourself into meditation when your body is buzzing with energy can feel like putting a lid on a boiling pot. It doesn’t solve the problem, it just builds pressure.

Regulation isn’t about suppressing energy. It’s about giving it somewhere to go.

Somatic Tools for When You Feel Overstimulated

Here are a few ways to regulate when journaling and deep breathing just aren’t cutting it:

1. Step Outside for 5 Minutes

No phone. No distractions.Let your body recalibrate through fresh air and natural light. The outside world produces negative ions that POSITIVELY charge you.

2. Find Your Anthem

You already know the song. The one that shifts your mood within seconds. The one you couldn’t possibly frown while listening to.

Play it loud and sing at the top of your lungs. Think back to your late teens, early 20’s when you were at the club with your best friend you met in the bathroom loud.

3. 100 Mini Jumps

Simple, effective, underrated. If you can’t do 100, do 50. If you can’t do 50, do 10. I don’y care - just disrupt the pattern.

* Supports lymphatic drainage

* Improves bone density and joint stability

* Releases built-up stress energy

Small, repetitive pulses. Nothing fancy.

4. Rewrite Your Inner Narrative

Write down five moments that prove you’re capable, bold, resilient.

Not the “I handled that situation well” but the “I rerouted my entire trip 24 hours before because the guy I was supposed to meet screwed me over. So instead of letting him win, I went on an epic adventure and met new friends.”

The messy, gutsy decisions that remind you who you are and that you are a badass.

Why This Matters

If the only tools you have are “sit still” and “calm down,” you’re going to feel like you’re failing when they don’t work. When your chest is still tight, you’re not sleeping.

You’re not failing.

You’re just using the wrong tool for the state your body is in.

How to Start Regulating Differently

* Notice your current state (wired, shut down, restless)

* Match the tool to the state (movement vs stillness)

* Let the body lead before the mind tries to make sense of it

A Simple Truth to Sit With

We love meditation. We love journaling. We love the red light therapy and stillness. Because sometimes you need more calm than action.

But sometimes? Sometimes you need to turn the music up, move your body, and let the energy out instead of trying to quiet it. Think a dog with zoomies.

Nervous system regulation isn’t one-size-fits-all.Sometimes it’s quiet.Sometimes it’s loud, messy, and full-body.

Both are valid. Both are necessary.

If you’re someone who’s been trying to “calm down” but still feels stuck, there’s nothing wrong with you, you just need a different entry point.

This is the work I guide people through in my sessions and retreats: learning how to read your body and respond in a way that actually works.

Lots of love,

Tia

Is dancing really a form of nervous system regulation?Yes. Movement combined with rhythm helps discharge stress and signals safety to the brain.

How does humming calm the body?Humming stimulates the vagus nerve, which activates the parasympathetic nervous system (your “rest and digest” state).

What if I can’t sit still to meditate?Start with movement-based regulation first. Stillness becomes more accessible after energy is released.

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