Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It by Chris Voss and Tahl Raz

Never Split the Difference is a riveting, indispensable handbook of negotiation principles culled and perfected from Chris Voss’s remarkable career as an FBI hostage negotiator and later as an award-winning teacher in the world’s most prestigious business schools.

This book provides a gripping, behind-the-scenes recounting of dramatic scenarios from the gang-infested streets of Haiti to a Brooklyn bank robbery gone horribly wrong, revealing the negotiation strategies that helped Voss and his colleagues succeed where it mattered most: saving lives. As a world-class negotiator, Voss shows you how to use these skills in the workplace and in every other realm of your life.

Life is a series of negotiations: whether buying a car, getting a better raise, buying a home, renegotiating rent, or deliberating with your partner, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion.

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"Never Split the Difference" Notes:

0:00 - Intro to "Never Split the Difference"

Chris Voss, the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator, teaches you the tools and techniques he's learned over several decades of experience to be successful in every negotiation you haveIntended audience: Anyone who wants to greatly improve their ability to get what they want from other peoplePeople who won't like it: Anyone who isn't ready to work on themselves

5:30 - How easy is the book to read?

Enjoyable, chatty, fun to read but it will take some time to absorb - probably at least two read-throughs260 pages - 7-9 hoursAudiobook - 8 hours

6:30 - Reviews and Significance

Well known 3,552 reviews, 4.8 starsCurrently (as of 1/2/20)#16 Current Amazon Charts - Overall#1 Amazon - Business and Communication Skills#5 Amazon - Communication Skills (overall)#53 Audible - Overall Audible books (just above our last book 12 Rules at #54)#1 Audible - Communication Skills

10:00 - Bio of Chris Voss

24 Year veteran of FBILead Crisis Negotiator for NY branch of FBI then became Chief International Hostage Negotiator for FBIBorn in Mt. Pleasant, IowaMasters of Public Administration from HarvardOriginally planned on being on the SWAT team, but he injured his knee and had to find a new career path. His application to become a negotiator was rejected at firstBegan his training process and acquired most of his experience working a suicide hotline. Chris says that the suicide hotline was an in-depth course on emotional intelligence - learning how to deal with irrational people and keep himself from getting emotionally engaged. Represented US in G-8 as international kidnapping expertAfter working over 150 intl hostage cases for FBI, left and founded The Black Swan Group, a consulting firm that provides training and advises Fortune 500 companies through complex negotiationsVoss has taught for many business schools, including: USC’s Marshall School of Business, Georgetown's McDonough School of Business, Harvard University, MIT's Sloan School of Management and others

12:30 - Major Themes of the Book

CHAPTER 1 | THE NEW RULESHow to Become the Smartest Person . . . in Any RoomCHAPTER 2 | BE A MIRRORHow to Quickly Establish RapportCHAPTER 3 | DON’T FEEL THEIR PAIN, LABEL ITHow to Create Trust with Tactical EmpathyCHAPTER 4 | BEWARE “YES”—MASTER “NO”How to Generate Momentum and Make It Safe to Reveal the Real StakesCHAPTER 5 | TRIGGER THE TWO WORDS THAT IMMEDIATELY TRANSFORM ANY NEGOTIATIONHow to Gain the Permission to PersuadeCHAPTER 6 | BEND THEIR REALITYHow to Shape What Is FairCHAPTER 7 | CREATE THE ILLUSION OF CONTROLHow to Calibrate Questions to Transform Conflict into CollaborationCHAPTER 8 | GUARANTEE EXECUTIONHow to Spot the Liars and Ensure Follow-Through from Everyone ElseCHAPTER 9 | BARG