Happy New Year! Are you stepping into the New Year with a new relationship in mind? If so, you may want to listen to John’s 6 things that are essential to understand if we want to attract or create the healthiest relationships possible. From understanding your Attraction Style and Relationship Beliefs to what you need to do to avoid repeating all the same mistakes over again, John explains clearly how to identify and eliminate self-sabotaging habits to ensure a brighter, happier New Year.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Attraction Style is created throughout your life from the early relationships you had as a child right the way through to now, including your friends, acquaintances and colleagues. Early experiences inform your attitudes to a relationship into adulthood and how you approach them.  
• Attachment Style, proposed as Attachment Theory in the 1950s, is the idea that as a child we learn how to emotionally and physically attach to someone through our primary relationships. Knowing your attachment style can inform you why you choose repeated situations and encounter similar problems from relationship to relationship. 
• Relationship Beliefs are your core beliefs about the nature, function, and validity of relationships. They are assumptions held due to your past experiences, for example, a dysfunctional relationship between parents can lead a child to grow assuming that such dysfunction is normal or expected in relationships. 
• Relational Patterns are formed by childhood experiences, for example, the forming of ‘safe spaces’ that you construct alone to escape from the potential abuse you expect within a relationship.    
• Implementing changes can be difficult and result in resistance. Referred to as ‘The Bicycle Affect’, it is the difficulties encountered when trying to effect change, or to further the analogy; ‘put on the brakes’. John explains via the link in VALUABLE RESOURCES. 
• Consider what you want in a relationship and what you want to give to a relationship. Do not consider only what you don’t want as you will miss occurrences of what you do want.

BEST MOMENTS

‘When you interact with your caregivers as children they will give you signals on your importance to them and behave in ways that will make you decide how you are going to gain affection from them.’

‘If this is healthy, loving, caring, supporting and encouraging we will likely develop what is called a secure attachment. If, however, we feel unloved, unworthy, and/or rejected or unwanted we will develop what is called an insecure attachment.’

‘The thing about beliefs is that they then determine the kind of relationships you then have in your life, they are, in all essence, your truths but are really just your ideas about things.’ 

‘Have you always chosen a certain type of person ending in the same or similar outcome? Have there been lots of bickering, arguments? Verbal or even physical abuse? Do you find they don’t attend to your needs or are pushovers and give you too much?’

‘As you’ve listened to this podcast today you may have even noticed that you dismiss certain things out of hand immediately. This could mean that you don’t resonate with them or it could be that you aren’t allowing yourself to hear the things that I’ve said.’ 

‘Your energy is constantly being picked up by others and if you have a closed energy or an energy that is anti-relationship in any way, still in a negative space from your past, you will likely attract people who are interested in this energy.’   

VALUABLE RESOURCES
links: www.johnkennycoaching.com

The Bicycle Affect: 

https://youtu.be/oO7XZGvdWno

Video Course with 1-2-1 coaching -

https://the-relationship-guy.teachable.com/purchase?product_id=3607138

Video Course – 

https://the-relationship-guy.teachable.com/purchase?product_id=3607134

Link to my workshop -  

https://www.johnkennycoaching.com/5- things-you-need-to-create-a-healthy-loving-relationship/

To get in touch - email – 

[email protected]

 or book a complimentary call – 

https://calendly.com/johnkennycoaching/30min

If people want to order a copy of the book then they can just pay postage of £4.95 (RRP £8.99) - www.johnkennycoaching.com/podcast-book-offer

Want to be able to address the relationship issues in your life? - Why not book in for a complimentary call and we can discuss how you can get the new started with some new types of relationships - https://calendly.com/johnkennycoaching/30min

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy        

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, Award Winning Relationship Coach.
Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships. Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

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