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In this episode we talk about new year's resolutions for the incoming year. We start off by discussing the relative merits of new year's resolutions and setting yourself goals in general. You may always start the year with lots of new plans or you may not.  Is now the time to consider what matters to you in your life and in your relationships? How do your values inform the goals that you are setting for yourself, either in your relationship or in aiming to find the right relationship for you?

We set goals explicitly or implicitly all the time. Goals give us a sense of direction in life. However, before setting off in trying to reach a particular goal it is helpful to consider first of all why  you might want to achieve a certain goal. What informs your desire to have a specific relationship goal?  For example, if your value is to have a close connection with your partner then you your goals should be related to this overarching value.  One of your goals could be to learn to manage conflict more effectively. Disagreements with your partner that can be addressed and resolved build more connection and intimacy in the relationship. Another goal may be to go to dance classes or to undertake other activities that bring enjoyment to the relationship and help you build connection.

If you are single it would be helpful to have a clear understanding of the values that matter to you in a relationship. These values will clarify the goals that you can set yourself in going about on your partner search.

We briefly discuss different goal setting models such as SMART and GROW that can be helpful in breaking down your goals and keeping you focused on getting the result that you would like to see.

We are adding more and more resources on our website The Relationship Maze - head over there now and find new ways to help you improve your relationships.

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