The Relationship Maze

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Welcome back to The Relationship Maze! In today's episode, "Differentiation," Tom and Angela dive into a crucial phase in relationship development known as differentiation. 
Have you ever felt that your partner is not the same as they were during the honeymoon period? Or struggled with being yourself in the relationship? You're not alone. Differentiation, a concept originally developed by Margaret Mahler, is all about recognizing and navigating the differences between you and your partner. We'll explore why it's natural for relationships to evolve, why noticing differences can be a good thing, and how this stage can ultimately lead to a more fulfilling and deeper connection. 
Tune in to learn how to navigate this challenging yet essential phase and transform your relationship into something even more rewarding. Don't forget to subscribe and visit therelationshipmaze.com for more resources to help you on your journey!

00:00 Mahler's theory: infants learn self differentiation stages.
04:59 Difficulty arises when relationship moves past symbiotic stage.
08:00 Partner's differentiation feels like an abandonment threat.
11:13 Recognize and respect partner's individuality and differences.
13:34 Arguments arise from unmet relationship expectations.
17:55 Couples therapy and resources help navigate conflicts.
19:59 Learning to communicate safely and empathetically is crucial.
24:48 Empowering stages, therapy options, podcast, course info.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

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Welcome to The Relationship Maze, where we explore the intricate dynamics of human connections. In today's episode, Tom and Angela delve into a critical yet often misunderstood aspect of relationships: empathy. 
Are you finding that your partner doesn't truly hear you, or that they're more inclined to fix your problems than genuinely listen? This episode is for you. 
Join us as we unpack what real empathy entails, the difference between empathy and sympathy, and practical steps to foster deeper emotional connections. We'll also discuss the common pitfalls and challenges in being empathic, particularly when facing conflicts or emotional distress. Tune in and discover how enhancing your empathy skills can lead to more fulfilling and harmonious relationships. 
Don't forget to subscribe and visit therelationshipmaze.com for more resources and our comprehensive online course.
00:00 Empathy is complex, requires attuning to others.
03:34 Empathy involves leaving assumptions, being inquisitive.
08:07 Empathy doesn't mean carrying your partner's burden.
12:25 Partners struggle with empathy during difficult conversations.
15:31 Open-minded approach to empathetically respond positively.
19:36 Couples therapy available in person and online.
20:47 Support and empathy are crucial in relationships.
23:31 Visit relationshipmaze.com for relationship help and resources.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

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Welcome to The Relationship Maze! 
In today's episode, Angela and Tom delve into the fascinating world of transitional objects—those cherished items or objects, like a childhood teddy bear or a keepsake, that provide comfort during challenging times. The notion of transitional objects was developed by pediatrician and psychotherapist Donald Winnicott; they serve as a bridge between our internal emotions and the external world. But what role do they play in our adult lives, and can our reliance on them sometimes indicate deeper, problematic issues that need addressing? 
From phones as modern-day comfort objects to the role of transitional objects in relationships, we explore both the benefits and potential pitfalls of these psychological safety nets. Stick around to uncover how understanding transitional objects can help you improve your relationships and personal well-being. Don't forget to head over to therelationshipmaze.com for more resources and take our free argument style quiz to discover your conflict style in relationships. Let's get started!

00:00 Psychotherapy term stems from child-mother separation.
05:22 Comfort objects provide a sense of security.
07:09 Transitional objects provide comfort and reassurance.
09:45 Negative emotions labeled bad, need to change.
15:35 Reflect on the impact of digital disconnection.
17:03 Using Niles' presence and hair for winning.
21:05 Questioning projection and expectations in relationships.
24:43 Therapy is important for personal development.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

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Welcome to another episode of The Relationship Maze. Today, we're diving into the intriguing concept of liminality. Have you ever felt stuck in a transitional space, like when you're between jobs or navigating a significant change in your relationship? That disorienting, ambiguous phase is what we explore in this episode. 
Originating from anthropology, liminality describes the period between pre-ritual status and the completion of a rite of passage. We'll discuss how these transitional spaces can be both unsettling and transformative, impacting areas like adolescence, career changes, and relationship shifts. 
We'll also touch on how understanding and navigating liminality can lead to personal growth and creativity. So if you're in a period of flux and looking for ways to find balance and direction, stay tuned. And don't forget to check out our online course and free resources at therelationshipmaze.com to help you along your journey. 
Subscribe now, and let's dive into today's episode on liminality.

00:00 Exploring the concept of liminality in life.
03:42 Transitioning through life stages can be disorienting.
09:18 Recognizing and tolerating uncertainty in liminal spaces.
11:23 Struggles in reaching goals lead to challenges.
13:28 Trusting leads to new levels of thought.
16:30 Break down overwhelming feelings, find distance, surf.
21:57 Frustrating tip-of-the-tongue experience; mind finds solutions.
23:03 Acknowledging liminal space, acknowledging time for change.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

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Welcome to another episode of The Relationship Maze! Today, hosts Angela and Tom delve deep into the complex and often challenging emotion of anger, particularly within the context of relationships.  They explore what anger is, when it can be healthy to express it, and strategies for managing it effectively. Anger is frequently a secondary emotion in response to a primary one, such as sadness or hopelessness.  In this episode your hosts discuss anger from the perspective of someone who as is angry as well as the perspective of the partner who is at the receiving end of anger.

Tom and Angela look at the underlying emotions that drive anger and at ways that enable you to  communicate more effectively during heated moments. Plus, they discuss the impact of past experiences on how we express and perceive anger. The way you relate to anger is very much informed by your past. Tune in as we navigate this fiery emotion and learn how to transform it for healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Don't forget to visit therelationshipmaze.com for more resources and subscribe to our podcast to stay updated on our latest episodes!

00:00 Understanding and managing anger in relationships.
03:34 Blaming and anger often stem from underlying emotions.
07:04 Seeking help to manage perceived threats.
10:42 Learned behavior from parental influence shapes responses.
13:35 Factors affecting relationship success and personal reflection.
17:20 Reflect on anger, seek therapy for understanding.
18:56 Effect of being in a relationship with anger.
23:44 Therapy can help address and understand anger.
26:11 Learn to manage anger and develop relationships.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Send us a text

Welcome to another episode of The Relationship Maze!
In today's episode, "Relationship Mistakes," hosts Tom and Angela dive into some of the most common pitfalls that couples face and provide insights on how to avoid them to create happier, more fulfilling relationships. Drawing from their extensive experience with couples therapy, they explore issues like blaming your partner, the importance of honesty, and the critical role of active listening.
Whether you're looking to improve your current relationship or establish a solid foundation in a new one, this episode is packed with valuable advice. Don't forget to visit therelationshipmaze.com for more resources and subscribe to stay updated. Let's begin!

00:00 In relationships, take ownership and avoid blaming.
06:37 Past experiences influence interpretation of current events.
08:29 Blaming and protective identification in psychotherapy discussed.
11:23 Honesty in relationships is crucial for harmony.
14:50 Trust and communication build stronger relationships.
20:30 Active listening: engaging, curious, understanding partner's perspective.
22:01 Listening for intention, not just gathering information.
24:28 Active listening and empathy are crucial components.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Send us a text

Welcome to today's episode of The Relationship Maze! In this episode, hosts Angela and Tom dive deep into the complex topic of self-esteem. They explore the origins of self-esteem, including how early relational experiences shape our perception of ourselves. Angela and Tom discuss the impact of low self-esteem on different areas of life, from relationships to work, and delve into the challenges of changing ingrained beliefs about ourselves. Together, they provide insights on how to challenge and shift these beliefs to cultivate a healthier sense of self-worth. Join us on this insightful journey of self-discovery and personal growth on The Relationship Maze.
00:00 Exploring the importance and building of self-esteem.
03:36 Self-esteem affects life choices and outcomes.
08:44 Possible genetic influence on differences in interpretation.
11:07 Changing self-perception can lead to happiness.
14:55 Situations can impact self-esteem; not always bad parenting.
18:03 Reevaluate beliefs, fears, and feelings for self-esteem.
21:14 Exploring beliefs and limitations to improve life.
22:46 Self-care and self-respect improve relationships and happiness.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Send us a text

Do you sometimes find yourself feeling lonely or know someone who regularly experiences that deep, isolating feeling? Loneliness is a complex and challenging emotion that touches many of us at different points in life.
Welcome back to The Relationship Maze, where we're here to untangle the intricate emotions in your relationships and guide you towards connection and understanding. In today's episode, we're diving deep into the profound impact of loneliness. We'll explore why some people feel this disconnection more intensely than others and discuss the intricate dance of human connection that begins from infancy.
Together, we'll uncover the underlying factors contributing to loneliness and share practical strategies to overcome it, including the importance of therapy and building meaningful relationships. If you're looking to improve your connection with yourself and others, this episode is for you.
Don’t forget to visit therelationshipmaze.com for more resources and hit subscribe to stay updated!

00:00 Feeling lonely despite being with groups.
06:02 Close mother-baby bond crucial for child development.
07:47 Building secure bond between child and parents.
11:31 Beliefs about being unlovable affect relationships deeply.
14:02 Beliefs impact connection and behavior in relationships.
19:42 Relearning connections, building self-acceptance, seeking new experiences.
21:57 Connecting with people, coping with loneliness, therapy.
23:55 Encouragement to listen, subscribe, and visit website.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Send us a text

Welcome to another engaging episode of "The Relationship Maze" podcast. In today’s discussion, Angela and Tom dive into the intriguing world of Transactional Analysis, particularly focusing on the Parent-Adult-Child model introduced by Eric Berne.
This model helps us understand the dynamics of our communications and interactions in relationships—be they personal, professional, or casual. By examining how we often revert to childlike or parental behaviours during conversations, our hosts explore how these roles impact our relationships and how becoming more aware of these dynamics can lead to healthier and more satisfying interactions.
Get ready to uncover which ego state you might be operating from and learn strategies to foster more adult-to-adult dialogues. Join us as we navigate the complexities of communication in relationships, aiming for more fulfilling connections.
00:00 Improving communication with transactional analysis and resources.
06:27 Rebelling against being told what to do.
07:47 Adult ego state reacts logically to situations.
12:24 Partner reactions triggered by past experiences quickly.
15:33 Partners need to communicate like adults.
18:29 Reflect on reactions and behaviors in conflicts.
22:00 Balancing playful and responsible parenting dynamics.
23:02 Temporary usefulness of rebellious child state.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Send us a text

Welcome to The Relationship Maze podcast. In this episode, we delve into the complexities of experiential avoidance, a common psychological phenomenon where individuals steer clear of situations that evoke negative emotions.
Hosts Tom and Angela explore the underlying fears that drive this behaviour, such as the worry that addressing certain topics might negatively impact their relationships. They discuss how these fears are often rooted in past experiences and societal conditioning which teach us to suppress so-called negative emotions.
Join us as we uncover the significance of facing these uncomfortable situations to foster deeper intimacy and stronger connections in relationships. We'll also provide practical guidance on how to recognize and manage the physical sensations and thoughts associated with these challenging emotions, ultimately helping you lead a more fulfilling life. Stay tuned to learn how to navigate the emotional landscapes of your relationships more effectively.
00:00 Overcome avoidance for better, fulfilling relationships.
04:39 Avoiding conflict in relationships due to fear.
07:16 Shortsighted way of interacting, withholding truth from partner.
12:18 Clients' childhood emotional experiences impact current behavior.
16:11 Avoidance driven by unknown uncomfortable feelings, disconnection.
17:10 Identify feelings, tune into the body.
21:13 Open communication fosters intimacy and connection.
24:30 Encouraging openness and curiosity in a relationship.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.