The Relationship Maze

Send us Fan Mail

What is your argument style? Find out in our short quiz. You can find a link on our website: https://therelationshipmaze.com.

Welcome to a new episode of The Relationship Maze, where we delve into the complexities of human relationships. In this episode, we tackle the intriguing concept of limerence. We explore the intense and obsessive feelings of extreme infatuation that can arise for some people when feelings are not reciprocated by the other person. Limerence is the feeling of having a crush on someone multiplied by 10.

Limerence, a term coined by psychologist Dr. Dorothy Tennov in the 1970s, describes the phenomenon of falling head over heels for someone in an obsessive and potentially unhealthy way.  Tenov discovered that there are two types of people when it comes to falling in love: those who do so passionately and uncontrollably, the limerents, and those who are less emotionally engaged, the remilents. 

Characteristics of limerence include for example intrusive thinking about the object of desire,  a constant preoccupation with the desired person, an inability to focus on anybody else as a potential love interest, an over sensibility and over interpretation as to the intentions of the desired person which  affects one’s mood, seeking proximity to the object of desire while simultaneously feeling shy and experiencing an intense fear of rejection or  having intense and soothing fantasies about reciprocal love. 

Join us as we look at the underlying attachment issues that manifest in the form of limerence. 

If you've ever experienced unrequited love, infatuation, or obsessive desires, this episode is for you.

Welcome to The Relationship Maze: Limerence.

[00:00:04] Limerence: Strong, one-sided infatuation 

[00:05:06] Chemical flooding creates obsessional thoughts of love.

[00:09:04] Love and limerence: caring or obsessing?

[00:12:24] Interesting perspective on seeking validation and relationships.

[00:16:06] Early attachment experiences impact key patterns.

[00:17:43] Magical experiences and connections that stay with us.

[00:21:00] Awareness of learned self-perception, love, and acceptance.

[00:23:35] Inner reflection, relationships, and positive self-perception.

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course:  https://therelationshipmaze.com/relationshipconflictvsl2.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Send us Fan Mail

Welcome to The Relationship Maze, the podcast where we navigate the complexities of relationships. In today's episode, titled "Anxiety and Communication," our hosts, Tom and Angela, delve into the impact of anxiety on effective communication and the potential barriers it can create in building meaningful connections. 

We discuss the fears and insecurities that often prevent us from expressing our actual thoughts and emotions, exploring how the need for acceptance and the fear of rejection can hinder open and honest communication. 

Join us as we explore the importance of owning our own reactions and insecurities, and how this can lead to more positive and understanding interactions with others. If you're looking to build fulfilling relationships or enhance your current ones, head over to therelationshipmaze.com, where we offer an array of free resources and our online course, The Relationship Maze. Also, don't forget to take our free online conflict style quiz and discover your argument style in relationships. 
Get ready to untangle the complexities of anxiety and communication in relationships with Tom and Angela in this episode of The Relationship Maze.

[00:00:01] Anxiety hinders communication, affecting relationships. Visit relationshipmaze.com for help.

[00:03:20] Struggling with asserting myself in relationships.

[00:09:14] Expressing feelings builds relationships, fosters understanding.

[00:11:45] Relationship fears may affect expression and safety.

[00:13:14] Sorting out our material in relationships.

[00:19:12] Anxiety and hurt from perceived rejection explained.

[00:22:02] Different ways of thinking about anxiety.

[00:22:49] Knowing anxiety is normal, express yourself freely.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Send us Fan Mail

Welcome to The Relationship Maze, the podcast that explores the intricacies of navigating relationships. In today's episode your hosts Tom and Angela discuss the appeal of the popular TV show Couples Therapy which is currently in its third season and available for viewing on BBC iPlayer in the UK.  In the show highly experienced psychotherapist Dr Orna Guralnik is seen working 'live' with couples, demonstrating what couples therapy looks like.

We discuss some of the possible reasons why this show has become a global success and why it has captured the interest of younger generations. We explore the impact of personal development and social media on the popularity of watching relationships unfold on screen. 

Join us  as we look at the dynamics of couples therapy: how it can help you with the challenges in your relationship, when it's best to seek couples therapy and how couples therapy can also help couples who decided to separate.

[00:02:36] Increased interest in personal development and therapy.

[00:05:20] Well-edited highlights of therapy sessions with drama.

[00:08:13] Interesting program offers general principles for couples.

[00:10:22] Couples therapy normalized, important for relationships.

[00:15:02] Challenging couples struggle, therapy can bring grief.

[00:16:44] Hopelessness and helplessness in failing relationships.

[00:20:50] Intensity of emotions can damage relationships dynamics.

[00:23:28] Individual therapy alongside couples therapy has benefits.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of The Relationship Maze, hosts Tom and Angela delve into the topic of parenting styles. They discuss the consequences and effects of overly permissive or rigid parenting, drawing from their own experiences and the challenges faced by couples in therapy. Tom and Angela explore the importance of finding a balance and how our own childhood experiences shape our parenting approaches. They touch on the different parenting styles identified by developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind and explain the potential pitfalls of being overly permissive. 

Tune in to gain insights into effective parenting and the impact it has on relationships. Plus, don't forget to visit the relationshipmaze.com for a free online conflict style quiz and expert advice on improving your relationships. Welcome to The Relationship Maze podcast!

[00:02:49] Strict parenting shapes adult and child experiences.

[00:03:44] Parenting styles: historical, authoritarian vs. permissive and loving

[00:08:12] Boundaries create confidence and security in life.

[00:09:45] Interacting with others has rules, uncertainties breed anxiety.

[00:15:39] Motivated by love, but blinded by self-interest.

[00:17:29] Excessive rules limit growth, hinder decision-making.

[00:20:35] Uninvolved parenting resulting from trauma and neglect.

[00:24:54] Understanding consequences, teaching healthy social skills.

[00:27:07] Improve relationships, take quiz, subscribe next week.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Send us Fan Mail

What is your argument style? Find out in our short quiz. You can find a link on our website: https://therelationshipmaze.com.

Welcome to today's episode of The Relationship Maze, where Tom and Angela dive deep into the concept of trust. In this episode, they discuss the challenges of establishing trust in the early stages of a relationship, especially in the age of online dating. From questions about commitment to the fear of being abandoned, Tom and Angela explore the insecurities and self-doubts that often arise. They also shed light on the different attachment styles that can influence one's level of trust and the need for reassurance. Additionally, they explore the different types of trust, including blind trust and the importance of being cautious in trusting others. Join us as we navigate the intricate path of trust in relationships on this episode of The Relationship Maze.

00:00:51 Insecurity in early relationships revolves around trust.
00:05:58 Lack of trust related to internal insecurities.
00:09:19 Separating anxieties, insecurities in relationships, trust.
00:12:24 Questions on honesty, consistency, and trust in friendships; overcoming past pain and anxiety in relationships.
00:14:21 New relationships are risky but rewarding.
00:17:54 Unclear self-doubt and distrust in relationships.
00:23:21 Trust issues emerge in relationships causing conflict.
00:24:42 Helping people explore and understand their relationships.
00:00:51 In new relationships, trust is often questioned. Can I rely on them? Can they fulfill my expectations? Trust is key.
00:05:58 The lack of trust is often related to internal factors and attachment styles, leading to insecurity and seeking reassurance or exhibiting avoidant behavior.
00:09:19 Separating personal insecurities from partner's intentions is crucial. Assess behavior objectively to determine trustworthiness and commitment.
00:12:24 It's important to know if someone treats their friends well and if they are consistent. Trust can be challenging after past hurts and betrayals, but being open to relationships means accepting the possibility of pain.
00:14:21 Starting a new relationship is risky due to the vulnerability and potential for hurt, but not pursuing relationships has its own drawbacks.
00:17:54 The text discusses self-doubt, distrust, and the struggle to find resolution in relationships.
00:23:21 Lack of trust affects relationships, even in the long term. Couples therapy is often sought out for this issue.
00:24:42 The course explores self-exploration and understanding partners in relationships.

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course:  https://therelationshipmaze.com/relationshipconflictvsl2.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Send us Fan Mail

What is your argument style? Find out in our short quiz. You can find a link on our website: https://therelationshipmaze.com.

Welcome to another episode of The Relationship Maze. In today's episode,  Tom and Angela delve into the topic of emotional and psychological health. They explore what it means to be emotionally and psychologically healthy, beyond the traditional focus on physical well-being. Drawing on the work of renowned Gestalt therapist Joseph Zinker, they discuss the importance of embracing the full range of emotions and avoiding the trap of toxic positivity. Tom and Angela also examine Zinker's list of the characteristics of a healthy person, with a special emphasis on self-awareness and the ability to set boundaries. Tune in as they delve deeper into these concepts and provide practical tips for developing emotional and psychological health. Don't forget to visit The Relationship Maze website for additional resources and to take their free online conflict style quiz. Press play now and embark on this journey to enhance your relationships and personal well-being.

00:01:45 Importance of experiencing full range of emotions.
00:05:20 Importance of awareness in healthy relationships.
00:08:52 Developing neural connections in weightlifting promotes self-awareness.
00:10:43 Taking ownership of your responses and actions.
00:14:11 Embrace all sensations, judgment-free. Find true value.
00:19:14 Awareness of relationship dynamics and toxic situations.
00:21:55 Healthy person takes responsibility for actions, impact on others.
00:24:05 Actions have impact; inaction can be damaging.

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course:  https://therelationshipmaze.com/relationshipconflictvsl2.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Send us Fan Mail

What is your argument style? Find out in our short quiz. You can find a link on our website: https://therelationshipmaze.com.

Welcome to another episode of The Relationship Maze with your hosts, Tom and Angela! We're excited to bring you insights and helpful tips on navigating the complex world of relationships.
In this episode, we discuss what you can possibly do to unintentionally undermine successful communication in your relationship.  Partners in relationships often sabotage their efforts to let their partner know what they think and feel. We delve into the ways that our communication patterns can hinder connection and create rifts in our relationships.  Effective communication requires conscious effort. 

00:01:30 Communication is key in all relationships.
00:05:27 "Beware of excessive self-expression in relationships."
00:09:01 Develop awareness of your inner thoughts. Express them honestly to avoid frustration and dissatisfaction.
00:11:57 Losing focus and communication hinders relationship progress.
00:14:57 Impact of words and actions varies for everyone.
00:18:42 Listening is key in effective communication.
00:23:57 Verbal abuse: frustration, protests, not effective.
00:25:35 Finding the right time for conversation matters.

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course:  https://therelationshipmaze.com/relationshipconflictvsl2.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Send us Fan Mail

What is your argument style? Find out in our short quiz. You can find a link on our website: https://therelationshipmaze.com.

In today’s episode we discuss the indicators that show you that you are in a relationship with a partner who you can build a mature and healthy relationship with. 

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course:  https://therelationshipmaze.com/relationshipconflictvsl2.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Send us Fan Mail

What is your argument style? Find out in our short quiz. You can find a link on our website: https://therelationshipmaze.com.

Welcome to the Relationship Maze podcast, where we explore the complexities of modern relationships. In today's episode, we'll be discussing the challenges you might be presented with if you experience your partner's parents as being too present in your relationship. Conversely you may be frustrated by your partner’s complaints about your own close relationship with your parents. 

It's not uncommon for parents to be involved in their adult child's life, but what happens when their involvement becomes intrusive or overbearing or if there is disagreement in your relationship about the appropriate amount of time that should be set aside for contact with the parents. 

We'll explore the reasons why some parents may be overly involved in their child's relationship, and the impact that this can have on the couple. We'll also discuss strategies for setting boundaries and managing the situation in a way that supports the health and well-being of all parties involved. 

Join us as we delve into the complexities of navigating a relationship when your partner's parents are too present, and gain a deeper understanding of how to cultivate healthy boundaries and autonomy in your connection with your partner. Whether you're struggling with this issue in your own relationship or simply interested in learning more about this common challenge, this episode is packed with valuable insights and practical tips for navigating the ups and downs of modern love.

What is your argument style? Find out in our short quiz. You can find a link on our website: https://therelationshipmaze.com.

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course:  https://therelationshipmaze.com/relationshipconflictvsl2.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Send us Fan Mail

What is your argument style? Find out in our short quiz. You can find a link on our website: https://therelationshipmaze.com.

Today we are speaking with psychotherapist and author Julia Bueno. We will be discussing the important and challenging area of dealing with your inner critic.

Julia Bueno is a qualified, experienced, and UKCP registered Integrative Psychotherapist and Counsellor, working in Stoke Newington N16. 

She is author of 'Everyone's a critic' - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Everyones-Critic-Stories-learning-enough/dp/0349014590

You can follow her on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/julia_bueno_therapist/?hl=en

What is your argument style? Find out in our short quiz. You can find a link on our website: https://therelationshipmaze.com.

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course:  https://therelationshipmaze.com/relationshipconflictvsl2.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.