News Sidequest

The Atlantic published a comprehensive diagnosis of American higher education this week: 27% of private colleges now get a D for financial stability, the unemployment rate for recent college graduates has surpassed the national average, and the promise that a four-year degree leads to a stable career is cracking in real time. Also: a UC Davis study published in Scientific Reports found that just three minutes of interacting with rescued miniature horses and donkeys — named Olivia, Randy, Mary, and Memphis — made teens feel less anxious, less lonely, and calmer. And a JAMA Network Open study of more than 4,000 people found that adults with at least one parent who lived to 100 had a 42% lower risk of death and 33% lower risk of cardiovascular disease — and hypertension arrived five years later. Plus Olympic rowing in a croc-filled river, a stolen ambulance outside Avenged Sevenfold, five generations sharing a birthday, and 116 reptiles in a jacket.

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Ground beef is now averaging $6.70 per pound — up 45% over the last decade and 70% since 2021 — a $30 burger is showing up on menus from New York to California, and Hamburger Helper is now suggesting on its packaging that customers try hot dogs instead. Also: the Kinsey Institute's 15th annual Singles in America survey of 5,000 adults finds the share who want to marry someday jumped from 33% in 2010 to 45% in 2026, 52% say the hard economy makes them more interested in finding someone to share life with, and 72% are open to dating — but only 16% are actively doing it. And Merriam-Webster just added 1,400 new words, including looksmaxxing, cuffing season, Sunday scaries, crashout, parasocial, vibe coding, and the uncanny valley. Plus the Gulf of Cleveland, the Yellowstone hot spring junk haul, human neurons fused into mouse brains, and a snake in the bread aisle.

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A University of Cambridge review published this week confirms that just six minutes of reading reduces stress by 68% — faster than music, walking, or a cup of tea — and that consistent reading across the lifespan is linked to lower dementia risk, better empathy, and slower cognitive decline. Also: the 30-year fixed mortgage rate has climbed to 6.71%, its highest level since July 2025, putting 7% within 34 basis points and threatening to deepen what's already the most stagnant housing market in years, driven by the Iran war's pressure on oil prices and inflation expectations. And Ohio State researchers found that children's tendency to look all over the place — distributed attention — protects them from the learning traps that adults fall into when we over-focus. Plus the $118K YouTube ad spend, the poacher trampled by elephants, the garden sculpture revelation, and the bat on the Scottish train.

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The CDC's first-ever national fatigue study, surveying 27,000 adults, found 71.5% experienced fatigue on multiple days in the past three months — with one in six feeling exhausted most days or every day, and younger adults aged 18-34 hitting the highest rate of any age group. Also: Foundation Future Industries, a San Francisco startup founded in 2024 with $24 million in Pentagon contracts, is building a humanoid robot called Phantom — 5'9", 176 pounds — and its CEO says he'll arm it for combat if the military asks. They're aiming for 10,000 units next year. And the WSJ declared that phones at restaurants are the new cigarettes — but the comparison has a significant flaw that's worth naming. Plus a lawyer who cited fake ChatGPT witnesses in a murder case, 100 people screaming at the ocean in San Francisco, a fatal enchilada dispute, and the Rich Dad Poor Dad author's $1.2 billion in debt.

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A University of Wollongong study published in the Journal of Educational Psychology found that preschoolers told they succeeded because they were "smart" cheated on a subsequent test 64% of the time — nearly double the rate of kids praised for effort, luck, or an easy task. Also: great white sharks have become regular summer visitors to southern Maine, with nearly a dozen spotted off Scarborough Beach over two days in August, a lifeguard pulled underwater, and the Atlantic white shark population rebounding steadily after decades of conservation. And the WSJ profiled the wild must-haves luxury home buyers are requesting in 2026 — which is a great jumping-off point for the Mackinac Island house. Plus a drug dealer's loyalty card program, the Miami poop bucket neighbor, an art collector who paid $4,000 for trash, and a high school student suspended for coffee.

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A Tulane University study published in the European Heart Journal found that people exposed to more than 3 lux of light while sleeping — about the brightness of light bleeding under a closed door — developed thicker, stiffer heart walls over three years. Also: the 2026 Ig Nobel Prize in Economics went to a team of UC Irvine researchers who confirmed across multiple experiments that wealthy people are more likely to steal candy meant for children, cut off other drivers, and lie at work — and the prize ceremony itself took place for the first time in Zurich with Nobel laureates handing out awards. And Snoop Dogg posted a job for an international ice cream taster at his Dr. Bombay brand, paying $10,000 a month for three months — received 200,000 applications from 133 countries — and got more coverage of his ice cream brand in a week than most companies get in a year.

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The OECD's 2025 PISA test of 760,000 fifteen-year-olds across 91 countries found reading, math, and science scores at their lowest levels since testing began in 2000 — with teens reading at a level previously expected of students one year younger, and students who regularly used AI chatbots for essays and summaries scoring the equivalent of a year behind in science. Also: a Singapore University of Technology and Design study found that older adults were most likely to adopt and bond with an AI chatbot when it felt authentic and responsive — and counterintuitively, the more human-like the chatbot seemed, the less likely they were to use it. And Peter Levin, founder of Griffin Gaming Partners and owner of 500,000+ trading cards, told the Hollywood Reporter he genuinely believes Pokémon cards will serve as currency after an apocalypse. Plus a coyote catching a roadrunner, the largest Viking silver trove found in Denmark, the Cat in the Hat chasing a teen, and a fake Downing Street Booking.com listing.

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The TSA has launched Gateside by TSA PreCheck at 13 US airports, allowing eligible non-ticketed visitors to pass through security and meet family at the gate for the first time since September 11, 2001. Also: CD sales jumped 16% in the first half of 2026 — outpacing vinyl's 2.4% growth — driven by Gen Z collectors, K-pop fans, and one remarkable data point: roughly half of Gen Z buyers who purchased a CD this year don't own a CD player. And a Baylor University study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology found that five minutes of writing a specific to-do list before bed caused participants to fall asleep nine minutes faster than those who wrote about what they'd already done. Plus a duct-taped first-class passenger, an MMA fighter offered $500K to fight a chimp, a crocodile head in Italian airport luggage, and the one bathroom trip rule.

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A Simon Fraser University study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin finds that single people who view their singlehood as an opportunity for growth — trying new things, traveling solo, pursuing hobbies — report higher life satisfaction, less fear of being single, and stronger feelings of autonomy than those who see it as a waiting room. Also: MapQuest announced it would not rename Lake Ontario to "Lake America" on its maps, usage jumped 50 times its normal rate, it became the number one navigation app in the US App Store for the first time in its 30-year history, and hundreds of thousands of new users downloaded an app they assumed had ceased to exist. And "pheromone-maxxing" is a TikTok trend where Gen Z men skip showers before dates believing their natural scent will make them biologically irresistible. Scientists note that human pheromones have not been definitively proven to exist. Women have largely confirmed they are not finding this irresistible. Plus a $30 Walmart manhunt, the John Wayne Gacy brain jar stalker, rabid baby goats, and the disappearing Canadian island.

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NBC News reports that funeral costs have risen 77% over two decades — a traditional burial now runs $10,000 to $15,000, a no-frills cremation is still more than $2,500, and families who planned for traditional burial are ending up with cremation not for religious reasons but financial ones. Also: Illinois has had 243 preliminary tornado reports in 2026, breaking the all-time US state record set by Texas in 2015, in a state that averages 66 tornadoes per year — and the year isn't over. And The Atlantic profiled China's strangest cultural phenomenon: a genuinely terrible movie that has generated $200 million at the box office specifically because audiences find joy in experiencing something so bad together. Plus a naked DoorDash driver, a pilot who announced over the PA "I am the one who is ill," the alien abduction story where the alien was the one abducted, and the US-Mexico cheese name dispute.

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