Trump sues the DOJ for investigating him... while running it. The military’s blowing up fishermen for “freedom.” Congress lets kids starve while ICE hires ex-cons. Cyberdefense gets gutted as China hacks our power grid. Indiana forgets how to gerrymander, and health insurance costs as much as a new car.

I’m Theo Jesterfield—broadcasting from the smoking servers of Fort Meade. The lights are flickering, the headlines are hallucinating, and the Republic’s running on fumes.

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