Nightly News Roundup

By Jason Thompson

A news headline show for people who love to hate the news and hate to love the news.

Art by Cory Drake.

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FAQs about Nightly News Roundup:

How many episodes does Nightly News Roundup have?

The podcast currently has 291 episodes available.

Nightly News Roundup episodes:

June 16, 2026 Nightly News Roundup for June 15, 2026
Trump closed an Iran deal worth $324 billion for a shipping lane Iran already owned. The Reflecting Pool turned green four days after a $14.2 million fix. RFK Jr. broke the vaccine committee and now needs it back before flu season. Rural voters are figuring out the math. A B-52 went down at Edwards. Eight crew members are believed dead. Some days the satire writes itself. Other days it crashes into the Mojave Desert. Tape rolls.
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5min
June 13, 2026 Nightly News Roundup for June 12, 2026
The Situation Room got a new agenda: how do you spin a birthday card where the President signed his name across a cartoon woman's crotch as a gift to a child rapist. The Justice Department memo was supposed to close the Epstein file. Instead it blew the lid off a septic tank. JD Vance believes in a secret cabal of elite predators — his colleagues confirmed it — his colleagues are also the ones running the country. Someone floated pardoning Ghislaine Maxwell and multiple people had to explain out loud why that would be bad. They had to explain this. To each other. In the White House. Tape rolls.
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5min
June 12, 2026 Nightly News Roundup for June 11, 2026
Trump called off an airstrike he announced that morning and declared victory anyway. SpaceX went public at $1.77 trillion and Elon Musk may be a trillionaire by Friday. A housing official briefly ran national intelligence before Congress intervened. The Post Office wants your voter rolls or it's keeping your ballot. Someone wrote a slogan in the White House lawn grass and now the feds are doing forensics on turf. A political assassin pleaded guilty in Minnesota. A UFC octagon on the White House lawn may or may not survive a federal judge. Tape rolls.
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5min
June 10, 2026 Nightly News Roundup for June 10, 2026
A millennial landlord got handed America's intelligence apparatus with orders to gut it before anyone qualified shows up. The Strategic Petroleum Reserve is nearly the emptiest it's been since Reagan, because the war that's draining it also closed the oil corridor it was built to protect. Trump told reporters he loves 4.2 percent inflation, then accidentally declassified a covert operation in the same sentence. Measles is back and accelerating, the public health funding to fight it is gone, and the guy who killed the funding vaccine-shamed the country for 20 years. Three Epstein file Republicans are politically dead. A Russian military officer's car exploded in the same Moscow suburb where Ukraine already killed a general. And a squirrel in Utah started a wildfire. Kevin O'Leary was unavailable for comment. Tape rolls.

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6min
June 10, 2026 Nightly News Roundup for June 9, 2026
Donald Trump bombed Iran over a helicopter he called "not a big deal," which puts the word "proportional" in serious need of a lawyer. The Trump family rang the Nasdaq bell, pocketed $500 million, and watched the stock crater to 68 cents — the White House says there's no conflict of interest, which is the most confident thing anyone has said about a bell and a drain in American history. Madison Square Garden booed the president so loud it ate the national anthem alive, and he responded at 2 a.m. on Truth Social like a man who definitely doesn't need this. Kash Patel fired analysts for a memo their own bureau killed three years ago, because the purge doesn't need a reason, just a list. Jared Kushner's Albanian yacht marina is already destroying a nature reserve that hasn't been assessed yet. Russia threatened nuclear war over a NATO training exercise in Finland, which tracks. And a World Cup special report. Tape rolls.
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7min
June 09, 2026 Nightly News Roundup for June 8, 2026
The Middle East paused its war because Donald Trump asked nicely, which is either diplomacy or a hostage situation depending on your timezone. The Pentagon flagged its closest ally as a critical spy threat while simultaneously handing a convicted Capitol rioter the keys to classified counter-terrorism operations — both in the same week, both without apparent irony. Elon Musk's rocket company, which has never turned a profit, will land in your 401(k) Thursday whether you want it or not. Todd Blanche became attorney general by doing crimes for his boss and calling it public service. The Arctic went unsold. The World Cup ref went home. Mitchell Robinson said "cool, I guess," and that's the most coherent thing anyone in power said all week. Tape rolls.

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6min
May 30, 2026 Nightly News Roundup for May 29, 2026
A federal judge told Donald Trump that Congress named the Kennedy Center after an assassinated president, not a real estate developer, and it intends to keep it that way. Trump declared victory over Iran; Iran called it fiction; the Strait of Hormuz remains the world’s most expensive group chat. America’s 250th birthday concert collapsed in 48 hours as real artists fled and fictional ones followed — Cap’n Geech, the Hex Girls, Duke Silver, and Rex Manning all drew lines that Vanilla Ice could not. Pam Bondi spent a closed-door congressional deposition pointing at Todd Blanche, walked out, and lied about it on X. A North Carolina Republican filed a bill permitting citizens to shoot women seeking abortions, which means a rapist could legally kill his victim for seeking one. The post-9/11 surveillance apparatus is now monitoring people who attend Tesla protests and take photographs near server farms. Tape rolls.
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8min
May 29, 2026 Nightly News Roundup for May 28, 2026
The U.S. and Iran are negotiating a cease-fire memorandum that Donald Trump hasn't approved, Iran hasn't confirmed, and diplomats admit may not share a common draft. Iran's supreme leader is directing nuclear negotiations by courier from a bunker. Two juries found Trump sexually abused E. Jean Carroll and lied about knowing her — he owes her $88.3 million, so he sicced the Justice Department on her instead. Trump's 250th anniversary concert booked Vanilla Ice, Milli Vanilli, and C+C Music Factory — then lost them within 24 hours. Milli Vanilli said they were never even asked. Benjamin Netanyahu ordered the Israeli army to seize 70% of Gaza, up from the 53% his ceasefire already gave him, while fighting criminal charges at home. Trump wants his face on a $250 bill, which would require overturning a law Congress passed in 1866 after the last guy who tried it got caught in a sex scandal. Samuel Alito's son held a secret Treasury job while his father ruled on Treasury cases from the Supreme Court bench and never recused himself. Terry Pitchford didn't pull the trigger, but Mississippi put him on death row anyway — with a jury missing four of its five Black candidates. The Supreme Court noticed, barely. Tape rolls.

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6min
May 28, 2026 Nightly News Roundup for May 27, 2026
Donald Trump's Board of Peace raised $17 billion in pledges and deposited zero in its official account — the rest sits in a JPMorgan hole that answers to nobody. Trump threatened to blow up Oman, a U.S. ally brokering Iran talks, and the State Department posted it like a press release. Markwayne Mullin wants to shut down international flights at sanctuary city airports and is calling it a plan. Operation Epic Fury is cannibalizing military training — $292 million cut from Army programs, medical courses canceled, Navy recruits stranded at boot camp. Ken Paxton crushed John Cornyn in the Texas primary. His office let a child rapist walk in 30 days, no sex offender registration required. Tesla bled hexavalent chromium into a Texas waterway and questioned the methodology of the people who found it. The Kennedy Center filed court papers arguing it cannot exist without Trump's name on the building. Tape rolls.
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6min
May 27, 2026 Nightly News Roundup for May 26, 2026
Donald Trump declared the Iran ceasefire going "nicely" — hours before US bombs fell on southern Iran. ICE pepper sprayed a sitting senator outside a detention center where migrants are starving. The New York Times counted Cabinet sentences: one in six is flattery. Trump visited Walter Reed for the fourth time and declared himself PERFECT in all caps. Two million federal employees may soon sign NDAs for crimes the administration hasn't named yet. The USDA fired the bee scientists, gagged the rest, delayed their findings six months, and is now closing the 130-year-old lab keeping American food alive. Ken Paxton, impeached by his own state's legislature, is Donald Trump's pick to primary a sitting Republican senator. Tape rolls.
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5min

FAQs about Nightly News Roundup:

How many episodes does Nightly News Roundup have?

The podcast currently has 291 episodes available.