David Richardson missed Texas drowning, Comey’s case fell apart, and Charlotte got a paramilitary panic parade. Trump rasped through a reversal on Epstein files while Marjorie Taylor Greene survived death threats, doxx-pizza, and a new nickname: “Traitor Brown.” The EPA turns wetlands into a corporate toilet, and the Treasury blames migrant cows for high beef prices.

I’m Theo Jesterfield—reporting live from the fever dream formerly known as the United States.

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Epstein’s inbox coughed up judgment day, Trump’s team is sweating in the Situation Room, and Lauren Boebert just turned national security into open mic night. The economy’s missing in action, Starbucks is on strike, and the government’s staggering back to life like a drunk zombie.

I’m Theo Jesterfield—reporting live from the fever dream formerly known as the United States.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Epstein’s ghost is leaking receipts, Trump’s press secretary is a malfunctioning hologram, and Speaker Johnson’s guarding the vault of the damned. The FBI’s on tour, ICE reenacted fascism in Chicago, and Trump’s printing welfare checks from the land of make-believe. Meanwhile, Democrats traded healthcare for promises.

I’m Theo Jesterfield—reporting live from the echo chamber of a dying empire.

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Fifty-one days without a government; the fix is less healthcare. The Navy eyes Venezuela’s oil under the guise of “freedom.” Trump sells indulgences to donors and wages war on a mall that doesn’t exist. His AI revolts, the DOJ rots, and the FAA begs for gas money. Veterans still waiting on that back pay from 1783.

I’m Theo Jesterfield—reporting from a malfunctioning republic with a hangover and a mic.

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Senate finally reopens the government; Rand Paul enraged, Schumer stabbed by his own. Air traffic controllers unpaid, yelled at for patriotism. Trump proposes 50-year mortgages so you die before owning a house. DOJ bleeding lawyers like the last chopper out. Maxwell courts a pardon from a prison resort. Kim Davis denied again. The Federalist calls Trump rudderless.

I’m Theo Jesterfield—reporting from a whiskey-soaked democracy on life support.

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Election bloodbath: Democrats wipe the GOP off the map. Trump calls it “the golden age,” economists call it “creative fiction.” FAA grounds 10% of flights because the government’s too broke to fly. The Supreme Court rediscovers limits, Roberts remembers math, Kavanaugh remembers Nixon. Trump’s rookie prosecutor faceplants in federal court. The republic coughs, but keeps breathing.

I’m Theo Jesterfield—reporting from a whiskey-soaked democracy on life support.

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New York chews its own teeth; rats poll higher than politicians. Virginia shatters glass ceilings. Sandwich Wars ended with mustard trauma. Cheney outlived his conscience. UPS planes crash, gravity unionizes, and the government holds SNAP hostage. Trump threatens Nigeria; Fox invents citizens. Trump Burger dead, Empire Pizza rises. Crypto pardons, morality auctioned.

I’m Theo Jesterfield—broadcasting from a basement bunker, and the headlines scream.

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Debt hits $38 trillion. Arctic Refuge becomes Chevron’s gift shop. East Wing demolished for gold-plated ego. Inflation gnaws paychecks; tariffs punch wallets. Pentagon press corps now pillow peddlers and conspiracy bloggers. VA tried to stall veterans’ benefits—nine judges slapped that nonsense down. NBA stars accused of mob poker.

Theo Jesterfield—broadcasting from a crater in Alaska. The headlines are screaming, and the Republic is burning.

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Trump sues the DOJ for investigating him... while running it. The military’s blowing up fishermen for “freedom.” Congress lets kids starve while ICE hires ex-cons. Cyberdefense gets gutted as China hacks our power grid. Indiana forgets how to gerrymander, and health insurance costs as much as a new car.

I’m Theo Jesterfield—broadcasting from the smoking servers of Fort Meade. The lights are flickering, the headlines are hallucinating, and the Republic’s running on fumes.

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