Nightly News Roundup

Cooper plans two more weeks of war, Trump threatens to withdraw his own AG pick out of spite, and the State Department can't locate Africa on a map it made itself. Kash Patel loses to a guy who called him a chud, four horses get gilded for $5 million, and a wiped phone becomes a federal case. Tape rolls.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thune threatens Christmas in session, Trump campaigns for himself in Michigan, and a food festival becomes shooting 271. Hegseth watches generals fall like it's Westeros, Trump asks the Supreme Court to shrink the electorate, fake ICE agents kidnap a driver in Oregon, and the Pentagon reshuffles its dead. Tape rolls.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Four dead soldiers vanish from the Pentagon's spreadsheet, then reappear once reporters ask questions. Iran hits back after twelve nights of strikes, the EU fines Google and gets tariff threats for it, and a court filing catches the White House admitting it torched clean energy grants over an election. Hegseth hands out testosterone to some troops and takes it as a reason to ban others. LeBron trades Bel-Air for Philly, and the Pink Panther loses its saxophone. Tape rolls.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trump says Iran hasn't suffered enough on night twelve of bombing, while a Florida prophet insists God opened a wifi portal over Mar-a-Lago instead. Musk admits he got "carried away" gutting foreign aid, a judge calls DOJ's subpoenas sloppy, and the White House taxes 80 countries under a dead 1974 law. Measles hits a 35-year high, and Tesla and Alphabet drag the Nasdaq down together. Tape rolls.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trump sues the BBC and a judge hands him a subpoena boomerang, cracking open 400 companies and one very nervous blind trust. Hegseth warns Congress about Middle Eastern nukes on Tuesday, then Wednesday hands Saudi Arabia the enrichment keys anyway. 105.8 million Americans sit out the labor force, more than Covid, more than 2008. An Epstein-linked model scout dies days before questioning. The House buys the Pentagon $1.15 trillion and slips a mail-ballot ban in the bag. Don Jr.'s investment firm somehow keeps guessing federal contracts correctly. And the Tate brothers finally meet an administration that won't catch them. Tape rolls.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Iran calls America ISIS while trading airstrikes for the ninth straight day, and the Houthis pile on with a Red Sea blockade for good measure. Taylor Farms lettuce gives thousands of Americans explosive diarrhea, then buys its way to a magic false positive. The FBI stops investigating ICE shootings so ICE can grade its own homework. The Tate brothers get arrested again for the same old reasons. A man torches a cart outside 26 Federal Plaza. Christopher Nolan makes $264 million off Homer while the internet melts down over Helen of Troy. And Trump gets booed at his one World Cup appearance, snubbed by a handshake, and outshined by Spain — and Shakira's hips. Tape rolls.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A president delivers a Gettysburg Address for people who failed history, complete with an election that's rigged, secure, and rigged again depending on who's counting. A 278,000-voter fraud claim gets pulled from somewhere the sun doesn't reach. Fox News airs a speech it once paid three-quarters of a billion dollars to regret. A mail-in ballot skeptic votes exclusively by mail, as does his entire family. A homeland security secretary dick-rides a stolen election theory and threatens hurricane victims for sport. Tape rolls.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A press secretary returns from leave to defend a nursery and a crime scene in the same breath. An island gets bombed for the sixth straight night while a rental-car economy idles at the pump. An attorney general nominee finds time for justice only after his job's on the line. A vice president's kid gets a $24,000 helicopter ride to golf practice. A president shrinks the map by three million acres and calls it a gift. A senator drafts a strongly worded letter to a wildfire. Tape rolls.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

An attorney general nominee turned six million pages into a percentage point and called it a win. A Pentagon overhaul finds its real target: middle-aged testosterone. A president joins the inflation hall of shame two presidents warned him about. A House majority protects a weapons pipeline nobody in the room will defend out loud. Two justices explain what body armor teaches a nine-year-old. Lincoln's signature gets a box fan. Tape rolls.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A president who called himself a non-payer finally paid up. His former lawyer runs the DOJ like an enemies list with a seating chart. A senator's sister inherited a seat and a decade of grudges by Tuesday morning. The Reflecting Pool got drained and found two suspiciously symmetrical scars. A billionaire's million-dollar checks bought nothing but a DA referral. Thursday brings a rerun nobody asked for. Tape rolls.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.