Debt hits $38 trillion. Arctic Refuge becomes Chevron’s gift shop. East Wing demolished for gold-plated ego. Inflation gnaws paychecks; tariffs punch wallets. Pentagon press corps now pillow peddlers and conspiracy bloggers. VA tried to stall veterans’ benefits—nine judges slapped that nonsense down. NBA stars accused of mob poker.

Theo Jesterfield—broadcasting from a crater in Alaska. The headlines are screaming, and the Republic is burning.

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