Tonight: The apocalypse canceled for polling reasons. Constitution-defending prosecutors get shredded. Gaza burns while diplomats vanish. Congress prints checks, Supreme Court sets them ablaze. Heart meds double, sofas triple, factories die. Billionaires deny islands of doom.

💥 All the chaos, gallows humor, and political absurdity you can stomach. Theo Jesterfield reporting live from the end of the world—bourbon optional, despair required.

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