A relationship is a close connection between two people, especially one involving romantic or sexual feelings. so loneliness is a killer, but wait. Great relationships can help me to be happier, healthier, and live longer? I don’t know about you, but that’s a great reason to learn how relationships work so that you can build positive, long-lasting relationships in your life. But shouldn’t we just know how to form good relationships? We assume that relationships should be intuitive and that romance and connection with others should just come naturally, and that we should just have some sort of divine sense of how to be kind and respectful in our relationships. That’s kind of where the happily ever after myth comes in. Yes, that all sounds lovely but it’s not necessarily true, and as much as the methods we teach to couples seem like common sense (yes, it’s a great idea to discuss issues by using a soft start-up so nobody gets hurt!), those methods are simply not that intuitive for most of us. We’re not wired to be kind or understanding all the time, especially when we feel like we’re defending ourselves from criticism, or when we’re so angry that it becomes difficult to communicate respectfully or rationally. Sometimes, we’re even intentionally unkind or spiteful because of negative thoughts and feelings we experience about others, especially if we’ve bottled up those feelings. But positive relationships and their interactions require understanding and intentional so that you can communicate in a respectful way with everyone you engage with. They require an awareness of how to avoid being unkind or hurtful and how to transform your negative emotions into positive growth within your relationships. And that means that you need to know how relationships work. So how do relationships work, and how can I build positive relationships? Relationships are constantly in flux, and they will always have some kind of conflict or disagreement, whether that be with a co-worker, a friend, a relative, or your partner. Like we’ve said before, all couples fight. You’ll have arguments with your friends, siblings, parents, and co-workers, too. Conflict, whether big or small, will happen in interpersonal relationships, and it’s important to know how to productively manage those kinds of conflicts so that you can build better relationships with everyone you’ll meet. More importantly, the same basic methods of managing conflict and validating another’s perspective that we teach to couples can be generally applied (sans physical affection if that would be inappropriate!) to any relationship you have with any other person. And, frankly, you won’t always be happy in your relationships. Happiness is ever-changing and conditional, and you’ll always hit some rough moments with co-workers or friends with whom you usually get along great. Some of your best relationships—say, with close siblings, best friends, parents, or (obviously) your partner—will challenge you. You will see flaws in almost anyone you meet and connect with, and they’ll see yours, but knowing how to accept them and work around them is key to building lasting relationships. For example, your boss might be difficult to work with, and maybe you just have personality differences. (All relationships do, which leads to problems that may not be solved but can be productively managed.) That happens all the time. But if you don’t know the facts on how to effectively manage those differences, you might end up with a sour working relationship that inhibits your professional growth. https://www.gottman.com/blog/relationships-101/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
