In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I talk about the nine tips I took to find the light after a recent period of darkness.

How do your emotions get stuck? When you suppress and refuse to talk about them. We need to walk into the darkness in order to feel it, and only then can we release it.

Tip #1: Allow all your feelings to surface without judgement.

How many of us tell ourselves that we shouldn’t tear up in front of our kids or our spouse?

How many of us wake up in the morning with an urge to cry without knowing where that pain and sadness is coming from?

It’s so important to allow yourself to feel sad without judging yourself for feeling sad, even if you don’t know why you’re feeling that way.

Tip #2: Don’t force yourself to snap out of it.

While it’s important to work your way out of darkness when you’re feeling down, we shouldn’t pressure ourselves to rush the process and just “snap out of it”.

Tip #3: Drop everything that is not essential.

The laundry, dishes, cooking meals, keeping the house tidy…

Asking for help is vital. Even if you don’t have a partner, do you have a sibling, cousin, or even a friend who can be there for you, unconditionally?

Tip #4: Let your spouse know that you need space to process what is happening.

My husband and I agreed that, whenever I was feeling down, he would ask me, “Do you want me to leave you alone to figure this out or do you want me to help you fix it?”

A lot of the time, asking our significant other to help us fix a deeply emotional problem doesn’t work, because we each bring so much baggage into the relationship that, if they give us advice, we get triggered to think that they are looking down on us when we’re in that intensely emotional state.

Tip #5: Reach out to your circle to hold space for you.

“Holding space” is when an individual or a group of people allows somebody to share all without judgement. When you hold space for someone or someone holds space for you, there is nothing but safety and love in those moments.

Tip #6: Let your circle hold you in your mess.

There is nothing worse than trying to interpret another person’s feelings for them while they are being expressed. Don’t judge, asking them questions like, “Did you mean this?” or “Maybe you saw it wrong?”

Instead, be a witness to their pain.

Eventually, the storm will subside. The tears will stop.

Tip #7: Let others know how they can support you.

During those five days when I was a mess, there were no questions asked between my husband and I. He already knew that he had to carry the load for us while I worked through my darkness.

All you have to do is reach out and be open to receive help.

Tip #8: Move the energy through you and out of you, physically and emotionally.

I knew I had to do something beyond crying for two days to move this pain, these fears, this darkness, out of me.

Tip #9: Look for evidence of your overcoming challenges in the past.

This is probably not the first time you’ve experienced intense darkness in your life. In all of those previous moments of grief and hardship, remember that you eventually got through them.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Visit my website: www.visalakshi.com 

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