Cain did not kill Abel over anything Abel did; he killed him because Abel was accepted and he was not. John calls that envy hatred, and hatred murder, because envy grieves a brother's good and warms at his loss. The nerve is the Christian who knows the cross, believes the inheritance is his, and still feels the cold drop when someone in the next row gets the marriage, the promotion, the house, and asks, "What is wrong with me?" Envy disfigures how he sees himself, his brother, and finally God, whose grace begins to feel too light for what he lacks. John's cure is unexpected. He says we know love because Christ laid down his life for us, and in the same breath says we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers, because envy runs on the assumption that you are the one who lacks, and pouring out is the one thing that disproves it. Up close, the envied brother becomes a person with wounds; with an open hand, you find you were never empty; and in that motion the gospel you could only recite becomes something you can feel the weight of.