This week, John can’t get off his phone (or explain why he basically moved into San Francisco for a week), while Sika gets a lymphatic drainage massage and decides it’s now her whole identity. We get into Black History Month energy (and John absolutely does not rise to the occasion for Sika), then spiral into Bravo chaos: did Lisa Rinna get roofied at The Abbey, and does reality TV make marriages worse?

Plus, Boz’s fiancé hits her with a “what if I lose my money” question that’s giving major Todd vibes, we unpack John’s first semi-breakup after the breakup (and Sika is ready to fight the man who wasted his time), and we send all our love to Mary Cosby as she grieves the loss of her son. And finally, Sika proposes a full ban on bringing your dog everywhere, especially in a stroller.