I’m back after an unplanned two-week break filled with jello shots, favorite-food Thanksgiving, and a whole lot of rest. Things with J-Man are going so well it’s actually making me a little uncomfortable — apparently “safe and stable” is a new relationship skill I’m learning. And because the universe won’t let my life get too calm, the Colorado singles pages delivered absolute chaos: a man seeking a left-handed, light-eyed short Mexican unicorn, another claiming to make $300K a month, and a lineup of wildly inappropriate messages and bathroom-mirror crimes. It’s a mix of growth, gratitude, and the internet being... the internet.