As a much younger man, I had the privilege of attending one of the military's survival schools. Best training environment I have ever experienced. They spent very little time telling me how to act, and they spent most of our time creating an experience where I could test out my new knowledge. How did I do? Thankfully I failed horribly. There's no lesson in victory.

Another great training environment is IBM. I had some of the best professional training while working for IBM. In one particular event, I got to meet the 2nd women ever hired as a sales rep for the company. I was a little awe struck, and I wanted to impress her so badly. I had to pretend to call on her as if she were a client. After the session, she gave me a review. I knew it wasn’t going to go well when her first statement was, “I really wanted to give you a good grade.” I am grateful she was tough enough to fail me. There’s no lesson in victory.

I used to think some skills were like swimming -- impossible to learn without getting wet. Now I'm more inclined to believe all skills are like swimming. Until you've skinned your knees, you don't know how to ride a bike. Until you bring home a child, you don't know how to parent -- and I still don't really know. Until you've asked for money and lived under a quota, you don't know what it means to be in sales.

Have you heard the term deliberate practice? Turns out it isn't just the amount of time you practice; it's how you practice. I don't expect this is a news flash for anyone trying to learn a new skill. All 6 of my kids play a string instrument, and it's been fascinating to watch the younger kids have faith in practice. They see how the oldest plays today, and they know how she used to sound in 4th grade. They've seen the path. They've also learned if you want to improve, then practice the hard parts. They have tendency to play what's easy - over and over. It's only when they fail that they learn how to play better.

There is a limit to how hard your practice should be of course. The experts say you should practice just outside your comfort zone, think 10%. You can't just attempt to solo on day one of flying lessons. You need to find an instructor and slowly work your way to harder and harder tasks. Don't expect it to be easy and remember ground school is necessary but it's never enough by itself.

One more important concept when tackling anything new and difficult. Expect a sinking feeling early in the process. I’ve heard it called a free fall period. You may get lost in the new info, and you need to hang on. Have faith that you will come out soon and find your way. For me, a new subject must start with the big picture. I feel like I first build the shelves, then put in the book, then fill in the pages. I get deeper into the topic as I go.