So much of the modern wave of feminism is about tearing down the patriarchy, antagonising men for being historically oppressive, and oftentimes (in my experience), being loud, brash and entitled about being a woman. I wish we lived in a time where masculinity and femininity were celebrated equally for being biologically, socially, and spiritually critical components to life. I wish we didn’t have to put men down to raise women up. I wish we didn’t have to be loud and arrogant about being a woman, in order to feel powerful. I wish we understood the innate power we hold as women, who are able to nurture, birth children, create community and stable homes for growing minds. I wish we knew that saying this doesn’t mean we can’t also have a fulfilling career, earn money, play sport, and do all the things that people automatically assume is missing from historical views of womanhood. No one ever told me this would be a contrarian view.

Listen to any podcast on parenting or read any article in mainstream publications about being a woman and you will hear a consistent theme: women have it tough. We have to carry the burden of reproductive responsibility, the physical toll of pregnancy and childbirth, and the mental load of family life. No one ever told me we feel this way because we aren’t placing enough value on ourselves; on the beautiful complexities of being a woman. We need to stop looking at the biology of reproduction and child rearing as a burden, and start valuing it again for the beauty and transformation it brings to the world. Pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood aren’t the only ways we can experience womanhood in all its glory, but they’re pretty damn important aspects of being a woman and we ought to revive our respect for them.

When preparing to go on maternity leave I naively assumed I would be ready to go back to work after six months. I thought I would relish the opportunity to ‘use my brain again’ as I heard so many women before me declare with confidence. The minute my son arrived I knew that six months was never going to be enough. I surprised myself in how utterly content I was being a mother, and I’m trying to understand why no one ever told me that it could be this much fun.

When I first made the decision to take time off from my career to focus on family life I felt guilty. What an odd feeling to have to do the most important thing I can with my time in this phase of life. I found myself reflecting on the fact that as a society we pay lip service to stay at home mothers and congratulate them for ‘doing the most important job’. But do we really place that much value on them? If we did, our culture would reflect it. No one ever told me that deciding to put my career on pause would be the easiest decision I’d ever make.

Welcome to No One Ever Told Me. It's really nice to have you here. I’m Paige, a new mum, a former corporate career woman, and an individual on a quest to understand the way our culture is evolving. Over the last few years I’ve found myself drifting away from the mainstream narrative about what it means to be a modern woman: career driven, hyper-sexual, empowered feminists, who are independent ‘girl bosses’ that can have it all. It doesn’t feel right to me anymore, particularly as a new mother.

So I’m on a journey to interrogate all the things that no one ever told me. I’m interested in the way our mainstream culture is changing (and not necessarily for the better), in religion and spirituality, womanhood, motherhood and where or how career fits in. You may disagree with some of my views, and I welcome that! I sincerely think it is now more important than ever for us to be able to disagree with one another in respectful, productive ways. Equally as important is for those of us who don’t see ourselves reflected in the way society is headed to feel okay to say, hang on, that doesn’t feel right to me, without fear of being ostracized. So join me as I explore the things that no one ever told me. Because maybe no one ever told you either.