The following is a transcription of some of my new moon clarity. The song is how it felt to have the fog of my own nonsense finally clear stage to allow something new to take root. God bless the sick day haze.

We're doing Virgo new moon manifestations. But the specific aspect of it, I wanted to record for, put down somewhere, but I'm not— I'm like, “I need to write this down.” I'm someone who gets very in my head about presenting as an authority, and I've always felt very anxious about being an authority figure in any way when it comes to my writing, my work, anything. I really struggle with the idea of being someone with knowledge. And I've been playing this month with the idea in both me and others that we all hold knowledge for each other and that it's not so much about being an expert and it's more about showing up and allowing ourselves to put together the pieces ourselves. And that nobody owes you their expertise.

And there are some people who are experts to a degree or knowledgeable in certain ways because of life experience or study. But for the most part, we all have something to learn from one another. And because we all have something to learn from one another, I feel like we don't really owe anybody the need to show up perfectly a certain way. Like, I'm not here to be your professor on life, and you're not here to be my professor on my life either. You're the only one who holds the answers to your life, really.

And when other people give you advice or we have people… Especially as someone who loves self-help realm, who loves self-help world, like, there are lots of people out there that will share just their life experience, their research, their observations on how to live well, how to be well. And some of it is going to resonate with you and some of it is not going to quite resonate with you. And you have to get good at being able to tell which is which. I feel like that is the big game of life is getting really, really good at listening to your frequency.

Because I deeply, deeply believe that each of us are sent here to live the life we're meant to live. And if we are not careful, it's way too easy to get trapped into someone else's matrix of ideology. And it's really important to be able to discern the difference between someone else's life experience that happens to align with yours and when it stops aligning with yours. And when you need to just allow yourself to be an observer. Maybe pocket what is sitting with you or what is causing friction in you to reflect on later, at whatever point later, maybe. Because some things come back around, will hit a different way back around, and it's beautiful.

But I feel like— It's almost like— I've really just been playing with the idea of seeing the world as, like, a tarot card. Like, seeing the entire world as, like, one big tarot deck and being very, very hyper aware all the time of the fact that we are constantly projecting onto things. And that's not to say that you should never take anything seriously or you should never consider other people's intentions. You should never consider things to be something happening separate from you.

But I think it's perfectly fine to understand the fact that when you're interpreting something or understanding something, observing the world, taking in the world around you, that the information you're taking in is an interpretation always. And the interpretation you're taking in is more reflective of yourself and being very, very aware of why you're interpreting things in the way that you do. And that sometimes you'll take things as truth because they resonate with you and other times you'll take them as truth because you don't want them to resonate with you or you feel insecure about the fact that they don't resonate with you or — There's so many different reasons why we intake things in the way we do. To give this further context, I've been in, like, a tarot video hole recently. And at first, I was really worried about it being, like, this really maladaptive practice of, like, “Oh my goodness I'm in, like, super control freak mode. I'm needing to know everything all the time.” And then I realized the other day that for me, when I watch tarot videos, I'm not reading it as tarot. I'm not reading in the same way I would read a tarot reading I'm physically doing myself or a friend is doing for me. Like, I'm not reading it the same way as in-person tarot at all because that's not subconsciously how I'm interfacing with it.

For me, it's like a weird form of manifestation. It's like a weird roundabout way of playing with dreams and possibility. I get to step into this little world where I pick a card or a section. I hear a little story, and then I imagine myself in that little story. And then I get to see what parts of the story I really connect with and attach to.

And I see the parts that I don't. And the parts that I do, I take home with me and I sit with and I integrate them in whatever way is most useful to me. And understanding that that is what it is and that that's very different than the tarot reading, at least in the way that I do it, that will allow you to look at these cards, gain a message from them very intuitively that reveals your inner world to yourself. It's a very different way of going about reading compared to how you read tarot for yourself. And I feel like that approach and perspective has really shifted my world in such a beautiful, illuminating, powerful way, and I would highly encourage you to get in the habit of doing the same thing.

It's basic stuff that you've been doing since you were a kid. When you watch, like, a show and certain characters really resonate with you and really considering what that means for how you see yourself or how you experience or wanna experience the world. You're reading a book and a certain quote really resonates with you. What— I'm now looking at that and being like, “Okay. What message am I telling myself subconsciously?”

I've been in my little romantic movie phase, and I'm really hyper aware right now. The fact that, like, a lot of these movies are showing very similar themes around dreams, very similar themes around following signs of the universe. That's something that's really resonating with me right now. It reveals something to me about myself and what I care about and what I want deep down and what I'm secretly deep down subconsciously wishing for. So that's really what I'm… I think I'm getting at here.

Maybe I'm still a little woozy out of it, but I'm like, I feel like I might have just actually legitimately channeled some sort of message here. Because I was like, “What? Where did I get to this point from?”

But I remember because I was talking about messages. So I was thinking about my voice and defining that in terms of the new moon, being very clear on what I mean by that. I'm being very clear on the fact that, again, you don't need to be showing up as an expert to be useful to someone. You don't need to be showing up as an expert to be someone's teacher. Anyone can be a teacher. You don't owe anybody expertise. To be an expert or perform the role of expert for anybody. It's a privilege. It's a privilege. It's part of a larger journey.

It's a very different interaction, I think from what I'm really talking about right now. Yeah. I feel like the learning process for that is just very different when we're working with experts as learners. When it comes to life stuff is really what I'm talking about here. I suppose for general research and facts, like that's gonna be a completely different thing.

But when it comes to like life s**t, like introspective philosophy-based life stuff, like that should not be approached in the same way as, like, research and expertise. And I need to hear this as someone who can be very type A and black-and-white thinking about this kind of stuff. And I also need to tell myself this because I need to be writing and sharing my writing and recording stuff like this and sharing what I learn and see even when it's not a complete thought yet or maybe when it's not perfectly perfected as an idea. Because someone will hear something in this, and it's gonna hit for them, and they're going to add that to their puzzle piece or their larger puzzle of their life. You know?

And I feel like for me, what I've been realizing is that it's less about finding the perfect guide and more about allowing the same messages to hit over and over and over again from many, many, many, many different sources and synthesizing that information. That's how I used to do research. That's literally like, that's also a research basic. Like, you're not ever supposed to go and look at one source for your information. You're supposed to be going and looking at many, many, many, many different sources for your information and synthesizing it and seeing what the consistent thing is so you can clarify to yourself. So getting picky about only searching for experts is silly. You're depriving yourself of so much valuable research and information that you can have. And you holding yourself back from sharing the info you hold within yourself, from others, is also doing a disservice to the world around you. You need to share your thoughts. You need to share your thoughts.

You'll know which thoughts you're meant to share and which ones are inside thoughts. You'll know which ones you're meant to share and which ones are inside thoughts. Let's put our thinking caps on. Let's put our, let's put our thinking caps on. Let's put our little third eyes on.

Turn them on. You know what they are. Yeah. I feel like that's all I have to say regarding that. Yeah.

We have… I'm gonna stop recording because the rest is for me.

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