No Stairway

High drama at No Stairway towers this week as a civil war breaks out between the laissez-faire hippy attitude of Carl and the spreadsheet-based rule following to which Tim is more inclined. Thank God for Bill who, true to form and to everyone’s relief, had forgotten which rules we were meant to be following and thus was perfectly placed to act as peacekeeper, referee and international court of playlist justice all rolled into one. 

Once the dust settles and we move into act 2, Tim reaffirms his extreme legislative programme by banning musicals and Disney soundtracks, Carl laments his failure to emulate the noted philosopher Patrick Swayze and Bill regrets, and then eventually comes to terms with, his love for the Empire Records soundtrack. The third act is, as always here at No Stairway, a narrative focused on reconciliation and personal growth. The most notable event is Bill doubling down on his respect for Disney, in direct contravention of Tim’s now subverted expectations. This Week’s Playlists: 

Bill

Carl

Tim

The Golden Shuffle

No one can be bothered with this, can they? Opening the curtains is about as far as we’re prepared to go today, I reckon. Whoever volunteers to go down Subway with everyone’s order will forever be a hero, but otherwise we’re all resigned to slowly dying in front of endless repeats of Only Fools and Horses on Gold, yeah? This week, through the gin-soaked fog of middle-aged hangovers, we groggily identify the Wurzles as one of the greatest British folk acts of all time, Carl makes an overly impassioned (and possibly still inebriated) case for the God-like genius of Bette Midler, and Tim half-heartedly promises to find the hidden depths within the music of ZZ Top. Frankly, you can tell we were hungover. At one point, we almost certainly slander Peter Gabriel…

This Week’s Playlists:

Bill

Carl

Tim

The Golden Shuffle

Controversy continues this week as what starts as a mundane and normal dive through the mail funbag descends quickly into a barrage of hate levelled against the darlings of popular music, Pink Floyd, Queen and New Order included. Quite how The Smiths escaped unscathed is a minor miracle. From this undoubtedly un-gezellig beginning we try in desperation to be more welcoming and cosy via the obvious medium of sociolinguistic translation. Conviviality thereby restored, Tim introduces us to the gezellig funk majesty of Luiz Bonfá, Bill takes everyone on yet another sonic trip through his disturbing subconscious (both beginning and ending in Bill’s Crying Corner) and Carl questions Tim’s philosophy of using “Love at First Sight: Australia” to explain all human interpersonal interactions.

This Week’s Playlists:

Bill's playlist

Carl's playlist

Tim's playlist

The Golden Shuffle

Nordic-style slipper socks and wood-burning fires are not mandatory this week, but are highly recommended as part of a fully immersive listening experience.

Controversy this week as Tim calls his semi-professional playlisting reputation into question by deploying a potentially illegal method of sequencing. It’s not an exaggeration to say that, were it not for the distance allowed by cyberspace, it may have ‘got physical’ in No Stairway HQ. Thankfully, the World Wide Web allowed peace to prevail and Bill has calmed down somewhat since. Elsewhere this week, we establish that Carl continues to live, somewhat sadly, in the shadow of the 1980’s as a whole (and of Jean-Claude Van Damme in particular), and Bill explains the internal architecture of his doom spiral work out routine, including both the Harold Bishop power walk and the soon to be feared nine-minute death chase. 

This Week’s Playlists: 

Bill's playlist 

Carl's playlist 

Tim's playlist 

The Golden Shuffle 

So, do your stretches and put your lycra on - maybe even get those Muay Thai ropes around your fists, just in case. You never know when a dog might decide to chase you.

Talent borrows, genius steals, so goes the common mis-quoted phrase. The truth of that particular idea is examined front and back this week as we dive into songs which have been famously sampled by other artists. We also debut our new quasi-regular feature of delving into our mail fun-bag, confronting the shadowy internet figure of ‘Al the Canary’ along the way. Further to this we roundly rubbish the state of contemporary songwriting, Carl reluctantly yet repeatedly calls Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter a talentless thief, and everyone agrees that New Order could save themselves a fortune by singing instead of paying for daft samples of singing.

This Week’s Playlists:

Bill's playlist

Carl's playlist

Tim's playlist

The Golden Shuffle

“Please, Sirs, can we have some more?” you may well have asked. Yes, of course you may, our young Dickensian friends! We have plenty of No Stairway to gorge upon this week as we theme our playlists around food, glorious food, and a drink or three. There’s lots to chew on here as Carl realises that lamb chops are a foodstuff, Tim burns his bridges with his former friends at the “Butty Van” and Bill hints at a dark incident from his past involving some kind of tinned fruit…

This Week’s Playlists:

Bill's playlist 

Carl's playlist

Tim's playlist

The Golden Shuffle

Come join us - waddle on down with a hamburger in one hand and an ice cream scoop in the other and give yourself a well deserved tummy ache.

Here at No Stairway we are often accused of starting well and quickly fading - from P.E. teachers to wives and girlfriends, it has very much been the story of our lives. This week strong openings are our main concern, said the Bishop to the choir, as we investigate the best first songs on albums. In this episode Carl is outed as a luddite, Bill is outed as a Hall and Oates fanatic and Tim inadvertently votes himself out of the Pulp Appreciation Society. Be warned of the usual coarse language - we are an unapologetically warm blooded set of nerds and swear words are often our only outlet.

This Week’s Playlists:

Bill: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3bQxPzd1g7dHXKE93wABbQ

Carl: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6TRm5bCYaKNdes2mRfkI3X

Tim: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0dWEgixmzGdSzqoZOFrYay

The Golden Shuffle: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/41uQWC10T9PaKi7YPjMlVB

So, if like us, you like starting but are unsure how to finish properly, just press play and see how it goes.