For the third entry of our Brassicameron—the No Substitutions, Please take on the Cornetto Trilogy, obviously—we take on the fluffy white cabbage that's been with us since the Romans insisted on calling it by a thousand different names. Noah and Louisa talk about all the things you can do with that thing that looks like the ghost of broccoli.

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Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

The meat that launched a thousand names; no matter what language you use to refer to a vast expanse of flattened, breaded and fried meat, we can all agree it's a delicious focus for any meal. So, of course, Noah and Louisa take their meat mallets to a few doofuses who can't seem to get it right.

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Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Whether a sweet, brown-topped contrast to rich barbecued meat or a savory round packed with spice and herbs, there's absolutely nothing wrong with cornbread, which is why everyone on the Internet is willing to get into huge arguments about it. Louisa and Noah strike the perfect ground with their correct opinions, and maybe surprise you along the way.

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Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

The arc of the natural universe may be long, but it bends towards crab—and mixed with binders and starches, and your preferred red powders, you can begin your own process of carcinization in the most delicious way. Noah and Louisa go down to Baltimore to take on a United States seafood classic.

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Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

From sickbeds to cheeseboards, crackers manage to hold up more than their fair share of the culinary sky—so this week, Louisa and Noah, who has a whole new reason to appreciate a shatteringly crisp bite of food, give them their flours.

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Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

After four weeks of (what we assume was) infinite outcry about how we should "stick to food," we're back with the homiest, coziest, and perhaps most populist of the Thanksgiving classics: the humble mashed potato, otherwise known as gravy's favorite surface.

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Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

When Noah and Louisa left off last week, all the pieces were on the board, and it was time to throw them against each other and see what happens—in the Aristotelian crucible of the Big Night, of course. In this part, Noah and Louisa discuss the kind of movies you can't make anymore, talk about Tony Shalhoub being adorable, and give Marc Anthony some reluctant flowers.

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Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Since Louisa finally watched Chef, Noah finally had to watch Big Night: the movie that asks, "can a traditional Italian restaurant survive when one-third of its crew is Marc Anthony?" In this part, Louisa and Noah rip on American customers, nominate the performance of the movie, and discuss the general level of heightened sexiness.

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Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Last time, Louisa and Noah left Carl Casper on the cusp (cusper?) of a road trip during which he would rediscover his love of cooking and finally have a relationship with his human child that he has.

In this part, we discuss the incongruousness of Russell Peters, ten-year-old kids being social media managers, and what exactly empingao means. (Listen, we marked it explicit. This is your problem now.)

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Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

For our centennial celebration, we tried something a little bit different!

Louisa and Noah watch Chef, the movie that asks, "is it possible for a man to serve both his own artistic goals and be commercially successful, as long as Robert Downey Jr and Sofía Vergara front him all the money?" In this part, they talk about that, Bobby Cannavale being emotionally open, and the perfect trifecta of villains in a movie.

Follow us:

Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @[email protected] on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky.

Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.