Nobody

Give yourself grace. Give yourself forgiveness, hope, and happiness. The most time you will ever spend is with yourself. Be kind. Be soft. Be measured. Be authentic. You are worth it. You deserve happiness.

The person you've been waiting for was never missing. It was always you. I want you to start today being you. Being your authentic self. The real you. You matter. You are worth it. You owe it to yourself and the world to allow your gift/talents/purpose to manifest itself.

What happens when you put down that heavy suitcase you've been carrying your entire life? With nothing but heavy things in it. Does letting go mean forgetting, throwing your past into the trash? No, it means just see what happens next. The next chapter is going to be great because now I have the freedom to create something new and beautiful. Go do it. Do it today.

What happens when all is lost. Maybe it's your job, your career, your relationship, your health. What you do next is critically important. It's not the loss that defines you. It is the builder in you who chooses to rebuild. Make it better. Make it stronger. Anazlye the damage. Then get to work. Day by day. Week by week. You'll see it's not the devastation behind you that defines you. Rather it is your resolve, your determination, your perseverance that rebuilds your life brick by brick. One thing at a time. Keep going. Do not quit. You matter. Your hard work matters. Keep building.

Who has your back? Some of you will answer this immediately. Others, like me, will only answer with silence. Sure we have people in our lives that may play a part. And if asked they might be that person. This episode is about who unconditionally with loyalty and sincerity, genuinely have our back. If you still don't have an answer this episode is for you. Painful as it is...

When you have to become the person who has your own back.

Not because you wanted to.

Because life asked you to.

You become the voice that says...

"Get up."

You become the hand that reaches for hope.

You become the person who keeps the promises others broke.

You become the one who says...

"I'm not giving up on you."

Even if the "you"...

Is yourself.

Simple. Not easy. Sit with this question and recognize what emotions come up. Name those emotions. Now, go inside. How is your body reacting to this question. Does your heart hurt? Is your stomach uneasy? Be honest with yourself. Be sincere. Give yourself some grace. If the answer is no, you got some work to do. Today. Right now.

This episode is about being ordinary. Being yourself. Not for recognition or promotion. Just you being you. If you get anything from this episode it is this: You Matter! You matter to your friends and family. To your colleagues. But most of all you matter to you. Spend time and sit with that. In your quiet time tell yourself you matter. Say it in the mirror everyday. You matter.

Please like, leave a comment, rate this podcast. Thank you.

Nobody – Episode 8: Alone... Not Lonely

Welcome back to Nobody.

I want to start today with a confession.

There was a time in my life when silence terrified me.

Not loud silence.

The kind that happens when the phone doesn't ring.

When there are no plans on the calendar.

When dinner is for one.

When the house is so quiet...

...you can hear the refrigerator humming.

For a long time, I thought the silence meant something was wrong with me.

I thought if I was alone...

I must have failed.

Failed as a husband.

Failed as a friend.

Failed as someone worth choosing.

But over time...

I discovered something I never expected.

Silence wasn't my enemy.

It was introducing me to someone I'd spent my whole life avoiding.

Myself.

From the moment we're born, we're taught that being alone is something to escape.

As children, we're told to "go make friends."

As teenagers, we're measured by who sits with us at lunch.

As adults, people ask,

"So... are you seeing anyone?"

Not...

"Are you at peace?"

It's almost as if our culture has decided that being alone is a problem that needs solving.

But what if it's not?

What if solitude isn't evidence that you've been forgotten...

...but an invitation to remember who you are?

Loneliness and solitude are often confused.

They're not the same thing.

Loneliness is the pain of feeling disconnected.

Solitude is the choice to be present with yourself.

You can be surrounded by hundreds of people...

...and still feel desperately lonely.

You can sit quietly by yourself in the mountains...

...and feel deeply connected to life.

The difference isn't the number of people around you.

It's the quality of your relationship with yourself.

Think about how quickly we reach for distraction.

The moment we're waiting in line...

...we pull out our phones.

Driving?

Turn on a podcast.

Open another tab.

The instant our minds become quiet...

We fill the space.

Maybe because we're afraid of what we'll hear if we don't.

Maybe the noise isn't entertainment.

Maybe it's protection.

Protection from grief.

From regret.

From unanswered questions.

From ourselves.

I wonder how many people stay in relationships...

Not because they're loved.

But because they're afraid of eating dinner alone.

How many stay in jobs that drain them...

Because silence feels scarier than unhappiness.

How many never discover who they really are...

Because they're always becoming whoever the people around them need them to be.

Sometimes...

The greatest act of courage isn't leaving.

It's learning to sit quietly with yourself long enough to hear your own voice again.

I once heard someone describe loneliness this way.

Loneliness isn't the absence of people.

It's the absence of being known.

That struck me.

Because many of us spend years making sure no one really knows us.

We wear masks.

"I'm fine."

"I'm good."

We become experts at managing impressions.

But every mask we wear creates distance.

People can only connect with the person we allow them to see.

If they never meet the real us...

We'll always wonder why we feel alone.

There's another truth I've been learning.

Being alone doesn't mean no one loves you.

Sometimes it simply means life is creating space.

Space to forgive.

Every garden has seasons.

There are seasons of blooming.

And there are seasons when nothing appears to be happening.

But beneath the surface...

Roots are growing.

You can't see them.

But they're preparing the plant for what's next.

Maybe that's where you are.

Not abandoned.

Rooting.

One of the most difficult questions I've ever asked myself was this:

"If another person never came into my life...

Could I still build a meaningful one?"

At first, I hated the question.

Because I realized I'd quietly placed my happiness in someone else's hands.

I told myself,

"When I meet the right person..."

But peace that's dependent on another person...

Is fragile peace.

Real peace has to begin before someone arrives.

Otherwise we ask them to carry a weight they were never meant to bear.

This podcast is called Nobody.

Nobody – Episode 7 The Invisible Man

There are moments in life that hurt more than they should.

Not because they're dramatic.

Not because they're life-changing.

But because they remind you of something you've been carrying for a long time.

I was walking through a store the other day.

A man walked toward me.

I smiled.

"Hey."

Nothing.

No eye contact.

No nod.

No smile.

He walked right through my existence as if I were a ghost.

Maybe you've had that happen.

You wave at your neighbor.

Nothing.

You hold the door for someone.

Nothing.

You walk into the gym.

Nobody looks up.

You leave.

Nobody notices.

It's strange how something so small can feel so big.

Because it isn't really about the greeting.

It's about the question that follows.

Do I even matter?

...

Most of us won't admit how much we crave acknowledgment.

Not applause.

Not fame.

Just acknowledgment.

A smile.

A nod.

Someone saying...

"I see you."

Because underneath all of us...

There's a little kid who still wants to know they belong.

The older I get, the more I realize loneliness isn't just about being by yourself.

Some of the loneliest people I know are married.

Some have huge families.

Some have thousands of Facebook friends.

Loneliness isn't the absence of people.

It's the absence of connection.

You can be surrounded by people...

...and still feel invisible.

I think that's why this podcast is called Nobody.

Because somewhere along the way...

Most of us have felt like one.

The employee nobody thanked.

The dad nobody called.

The friend who's always the one reaching out.

The person sitting alone at lunch.

The guy who smiles first...

...and gets nothing back.

If that's you today...

I want you to know something.

You're not weird.

You're not broken.

You're human.

Here's something I had to learn the hard way.

People aren't always ignoring you.

Sometimes...

They're carrying battles you'll never see.

The woman who didn't smile back...

...may have just lost her husband.

The man who walked past you...

...might have been thinking about the biopsy results he's waiting for.

The teenager staring at the floor...

...might be drowning in anxiety.

We don't know.

And because we don't know...

It's dangerous to build our identity on how strangers respond to us.

Maybe the cure for feeling invisible...

...is helping someone else feel seen.

That doesn't erase loneliness.

I'm not pretending it does.

Some nights are still quiet.

Some weekends still feel empty.

Sometimes I still wonder why friendships seem so hard.

Why conversations stay shallow.

Why people drift away.

Those feelings are real.

But they don't get the final word.

Here's the truth I've come to believe.

Your value isn't determined by who notices you.

It isn't determined by likes.

Followers.

Promotions.

Invitations.

Or whether the stranger at the grocery store smiled back.

You mattered before anyone acknowledged you.

And you'll matter on the days nobody does.

Maybe that's what becoming "Nobody" really means.

It means letting go of the desperate need to be validated by everyone around you.

It means choosing kindness...

...even when it isn't returned.

It means saying hello...

...even if nobody answers.

Because your character is yours.

Their response belongs to them.

So tomorrow...

Smile anyway.

Wave anyway.

Hold the door anyway.

Be kind anyway.

Not because people always deserve it.

But because that's who you choose to be.

One day...

Someone who's convinced the world doesn't see them...

Will notice.

And your smile...

May become the proof they needed that humanity still exists.

If today you feel invisible...

I want you to hear this.

I see you.

Not because I know your name.

Not because I know your story.

But because I've stood where you're standing.

Wondering if I mattered.

Wondering if anyone noticed.

Wondering if being "Nobody" meant I was nothing.

It doesn't.

Being Nobody isn't about having no value.

It's about discovering that your value was never dependent on being somebody else's somebody.

It's always been there.

Quiet.

Steady.

Unshaken.

The One Guarantee in Life is

- Guaranteed to work

- Works no matter if you do it a little or a lot

- Will make you feel better, live longer with more capabilities later in life

- Will decrease if not eliminate anxiety, depression, sleep issues, and even disease

It is CrossFit

Google or ask Siri - find CrossFit near me. Book an intro class and try it for just one month. Do it 3-5 days a week. Watch your life, health, fitness improve.

3, 2, 1 - GO!