Welcome to your 31st visit to the Non-Stop Comic Shop! There sure are a lot of superheroes with the word “Hawk” in their name. Let's discuss two of the least respectable ones. First up, a review straight out of Darkhawk Classic #1, the book that Jordan bought causing the proprietor to shout “HEY EVERYBODY, SOME GUY JUST BOUGHT DARKHAWK!” The '90's most forgettable character has to arbitrarily team up with Captain America and Daredevil to stop the second evil Fantastic Four from seeking revenge against the super-villain Portal for lying about all of those cakes. Then, the boys have already ragged on two lame episodes of Justice League's lame first season, so now they're talking about “Starcrossed”, the Hawkman invasion-centered finale to the awesome, peerless, perfect second season and (SURPRISE!) they find a lot wrong with it. Questions include: Is it morally correct to murder the local mob boss when his daughter is extremely hot? Will Hawkman be impressed when Green Lantern almost says a naughty word? Why do we keep talking about people named Grace when Grace isn't here? How disappointed were we with Chekhov's Wrench? And shouldn't Hawkgirl just stick to wearing her armor-plated halter top and culottes? #AlwaysTakeBabiesHostage