Not By Chance Podcast

Sherry Fernandez was a hippy turned business woman. With insane drive and 

Dianne Kosto is a mother and CEO of Symmetry Neuro-Pathway Training. Dianne had a son who was kicked out of military school and almost kicked out of a treatment program for teen boys. She fears what could've happened if she hadn't found Neurofeedback. Neurofeedback is a non-invasive alternative to medication. It is painless, drugless, free of harmful side effects, and produces noticeable improvements that can enhance the effect of other traditional therapies. 

If you are interested in looking more into Neurofeedback, then reach out to Dianne at Symmetryneuropt.com

Takeaway: look into various options for your kid's health because there is never a silver bullet. 

Dr. Thayne interviews his wife, Roxanne, on the power of storytelling. You must be as entertaining and compelling as your competitor (social media) to influence your teen. Become a master storyteller to encourage your teen to take action, adopt value, and come closer as a family. After this episode, you will ask yourself what stories you have that would impact your teen. 

Challenge: Find a story in your life that teaches a principle. Take your time to craft it into something compelling and entertaining. And when you share your story, hold back from explaining the principle; let them discover it themselves.

Dr. Thayne speaks about the role of fear when we are trying to be our teen's number one influencer. Fear is natural and can be healthy in doses, but when it isn't handled right, it can spiral out of control and have a domino effect on the family. Tim explains that you have to recognize the fear first. Then you can address it by talking yourself down from expecting the worst and taking action despite your fear. 

Challenge: When you feel fearful, articulate what you are afraid of. Communicate with someone, talk yourself down from catastrophising, and act despite your fear. 

Get a copy of the Not By Chance Yearbook at https://notbychance.com/yearbook/

Listening is one of the most influential things you could do.  We might think that listening is too passive to possibly have an influence. Most of the time, however,  no one cares to be swayed by someone they feel doesn't understand them. Dr. Tim Thayne gives some practical tips on how to listen to your teen. Some of them include going into the conversation being willing to have your mind changed.

Challenge: Prioritize listening. Let go of the need to control the conversation. At the end of the day ask yourself how you did.

 Along with being a deliberate example, parents need to be aware of the values you are modeling.  Today’s episode explores some virtues that seem to be less common in today’s self-centered and fast paced world.  We also discuss how to create moral literacy with stories.

Would you allow a stranger to sit on your teen's bed and talk to them for hours a day? Never. Yet this is what's happening and this is how you can put yourself back in the number one influencer position with your teen, through your deliberate, though not perfect, example.

What if you could read your teen's thoughts about themselves?  Would their story of their worth match yours about them?  Dr. Thayne talks about how the stories we choose to tell ourselves can lead to vastly different outcomes, ranging from destructive to a springboard for success.


0:00

Intro

1:28

Self Esteem Stat

4:58

Student Body President

9:04

Daughter Wants To Drop Out

14:07

App Announcement

15:15

Driving To the Airport

17:11

Closing Self Esteem Talk

20:23

Outro

Dr. Thayne takes this opportunity to share with Casi Fariello of OPLM why he felt it was time to turn his attention to the needs of families after their teen's out-of-home treatment programs.  He shares his journey from an owner and therapist in a wilderness treatment program, to working where the "rubber meets the road" of therapeutic treatment . . . in the home.

"As we get stronger, our family gets stronger."  In today's episode, Dr. Thayne introduces listeners to Casie Fariello, the CEO of "Other Parents Like Me," a virtual membership platform that went live in January of 2022. Casie retired from United Airlines after 26 years in December of 2022 to follow her passion to co-found the program after creating parent support groups at Balance Continuum of Care in Arizona in 2020 and is a Parent Coach and Facilitator for The Partnership to End Addiction.

We discuss the fact that parents all deal with similar issues around good communication, setting boundaries, self-care and self-regulation.  While it’s easy to judge or compare your situation to others, it's imperative to find common ground with others through a journey of curiosity, change and discovery.