Not Quite Typical: AuDHD & Neurodivergent Conversations

What happens when something you love turns into a "should"?

I'm back after a summer pause, and this episode is about why I stepped away. When summer changed my routine, the podcast started to feel like a demand instead of a joy. So I chose to pause before it turned into burnout or resentment. We talk about demand avoidance, ADHD perfectionism, the myth of the perfect moment, and why your brain isn't broken. Often it's the environment that needs to change.

I also introduce a new solo series on rediscovering how our brains work. It looks at neuroplasticity, anxiety, beliefs and self-awareness through a neurodivergent lens. It's not a project to fix yourself. It's about learning.

Question for you: what's the first thing you do when you sit down on a train or bus? Send me a message, I'd love to hear.

I'm sharing my lived experience as a late-diagnosed autistic woman with ADHD. This isn't medical advice, so please speak to a professional if you need support.

Follow along: Instagram @notquite_typical

Why is the term "Pathological Demand Avoidance" so heavily contested, and what does PDA actually look like in adulthood?

In this episode, Amber is joined by Dr Jay Watts , a neurodivergent Consultant Clinical Psychologist, Psychotherapist and disability activist for an eye-opening conversation about PDA from an adult and neurodivergent perspective. Together, they break down the history of the label, the shift toward reclaiming PDA as a Persistent or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy, and how demand avoidance intersects with Damian Milton’s Double Empathy Problem.

Whether you’re late-diagnosed, questioning if you experience PDA, or wanting to understand how environmental demands impact nervous systems, this conversation offers validation, history, and deep insight.

In this episode, we cover:

• The history of PDA and why the "pathological" label is problematic.

• Reclaiming PDA as a Persistent/Pervasive Drive for Autonomy.

• The transition of PDA from childhood into adult life, work, and relationships.

• How Damian Milton's Double Empathy Problem explains the clash between neurotypes.

• Overcoming shame cycles around executive dysfunction, inertia, and demands.

Guest Info:

• Dr Jay Watts: jaywatts.co.uk
• X/Twitter: https://x.com/Shrink_at_Large
• Writings: https://city.academia.edu/DrJayWatts
  

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📩 [email protected]

Content Warning & Disclaimer:Content Warning: This episode contains brief discussions of mental distress, suicidal ideation, burnout, and trauma.

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only and is based on personal experiences and guest expertise. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or clinical support.

If you’ve ever felt like the spaces you want to work or exist in weren't built with your brain or body in mind, this episode is a must-listen. Joining the podcast is the incredible sarah leigh, an award-winning filmmaker, writer, director, and the powerhouse founder of inclusivity films and inclusive talent.

In this open, honest, and eye-opening conversation, we dive deep into what it really takes to break down barriers in the creative industries. sarah shares why true, absolute accessibility is a continuous work in progress, and how we can move past tokenism to create spaces where neurodivergent and disabled talent can actually feel seen, heard, and supported. we explore the reality of navigating the film and television world, the power of putting actionable access riders on sets, and why a lack of access holds back some of the most brilliant creatives in the industry. sarah also opens up about her personal journey as a neurodivergent creative, being a mother to a disabled son, and her incredible advocacy work with the nhs to develop healthcare passports that make medical appointments easier to navigate for those with complex needs.

Connect with Sarah:

• website: https://www.inclusivityfilms.co.uk/

• instagram: @inclusivityfilms / @sarahleighfilm

💖 love the show? hit 'follow' on spotify or apple podcasts, leave a 5-star review, and share this episode with a friend or colleague who needs to hear it!follow us on instagram: @notquite_typical

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🚨 disclaimer & content warning:while i share my lived experience as a neurodivergent individual, and my guests share their professional expertise, this podcast is not a substitute for medical advice or formal diagnostic assessment. please consult healthcare professionals for official clinical support. we often cover sensitive subjects, so please listen with care and look after yourself.

If you’ve completed the "mainstream levels" of mental health care,from talk therapy to psychiatric labels,and you’re still left wondering why you are struggling, this episode is the "how-to" guide you’ve been waiting for. Joining the podcast is the incredible Josephine Knechtli, a brilliant hypnotherapist who is completely changing the game for the neurodivergent community.

In this deep, humorous, and incredibly cathartic conversation, we bust the old Hollywood myths about hypnosis and mind control to reveal why "Hypnoland" is actually Neurodivergent City. Josephine explains how hypnotherapy completely bypasses the "crunchy, crusty layer" of social masking, coulds, and shoulds to target the raw, emotional protection mechanisms underneath. We dive into why traditional behavior management tools fail us when we are in a primitive fear state, how the psychiatric system often leaves late-discovered women feeling fundamentally broken, and why true unmasking requires building deep internal safety rather than just trying harder.

Connect with Josephine:

💖 Love the show? Hit 'Follow' on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, leave a 5-star review, and share this episode with a friend or colleague who needs to hear it!

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Ever been handed a clinical worksheet by a therapist and felt an instant wave of ADHD shame and avoidance? You are not alone.

In this episode, we are completely reframing how we look at mental health, therapy, and the traditional 9-to-5 corporate grind with Simone Westcott-Villiers, a CBT specialist and the founder of Founder Therapy.

Simone specializes in working with entrepreneurs, high achievers, and late-diagnosed ADHD women who are tired of wearing a mask to fit into rigid, outdated systems. Together, we unpack why traditional therapy "homework" completely fails neurodivergent brains, the massive corporate exodus of ADHD women building successful portfolio careers, and why ADHD burnout requires chasing dopamine rather than just sitting still. We also dive into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and how to break out of toxic people-pleasing loops to confidently set boundaries.

Connect with Simone:

In this episode, I sit down with the brilliant Charlotte Forbes, founder of ADHD Club UK, ADHD coach, and former social media manager.

Charlotte candidly shares her own journey of being diagnosed at 32 after "ADHD TikTok" found her, hyper-focusing through six books in a week, and navigating the chaotic, brilliant, and sometimes brutal world of creative advertising agencies. From the secret shame of being fired from three jobs in a row to learning how to confidently advocate for her brain, Charlotte is a wealth of fresh, non-buffy perspective on neurodiversity.

We dive deep into how traditional corporate structures clash with neurodivergent minds, and the practical frameworks that actually change the game for professionals and line managers alike.

🔍 Inside the Episode:

• The Creative Industry Paradox: Why creative sectors are a "lucky dip" for ADHDers—offering great output-focused flexibility but hidden bureaucratic traps.

• Ask, Don't Tell: Charlotte’s top 4 rules for line managers to support neurodivergent staff using a coaching approach instead of patronizing "have you tried a to-do list?" advice.

• Universal Design vs. Reasonable Adjustments: Why workplace policies should inherently support everyone’s communication styles and schedules, removing the stigma of "special treatments."

In this episode, I am completely fangirling as I sit down with two incredible creators from the neurodivergent community: Jon and Erin.

Erin is the host of the AuDHD and Me podcast, and Jon is the host of AuDHD or Just a Bit Weird?. Together, they have been candidly documenting their brilliant online-to-offline best-friendship. From creating meticulous itineraries for their first meeting (that naturally went completely out the window) to learning how to fully unmask around each other, they are the ultimate blueprint for authentic neurodivergent connection.

In this episode, we dive deep into:

• Friendship After a Late Diagnosis: How late-discovered autistic and ADHD adults build meaningful connections.

• The Confusion of Group Dynamics: Unpacking social hierarchies and the confusing "tiers" of friendship.

• Adult Meltdowns & Sensory Overload: Why public swimming pools can be a sensory nightmare, and how safe friends can coach you through a shutdown.

• The Titration Purgatory: The frustrating reality of never-ending ADHD medication waitlists and an inaccessible medical system.

This chat is funny, deeply vulnerable, and validating. Grab a drink, get comfortable, and enjoy the episode!

🔗 CONNECT WITH JON & ERIN:

• Erin (AuDHD and Me): Listen on all podcast platforms and follow her relatable carousels on Instagram [@alt_udhd]

• Jon (AuDHD or Just a Bit Weird?): Listen on all podcast platforms and follow their journey on Instagram [@audhdorjustabitweird]

• Jon's Official Merch: Support Jon and grab your t-shirts, tote bags, and jumpers here: [ Link Here]

🚨 DISCLAIMER & CONTENT WARNING:

While I share my lived experience as an AuDHD individual, I am not a medical professional. If you are navigating your own journey of late discovery, autism diagnosis, or ADHD support, please consult a medical professional or official healthcare resources.

• Content Warning: This conversation contains candid discussions about adult autistic meltdowns and severe sensory overstimulation. Please protect your peace and take care of yourself while listening.*

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To kick off Season 2, Amber sits down with comedians Joe Wells and Abigoliah Schamaun, co-hosts of the hit podcast Neurodivergent Moments.

With their highly anticipated book Neurodivergent Moments releasing on June 18th 2026, we dive deep into the unfiltered reality of what it actually takes to co-write a book when you have a neurodivergent brain. From managing deadlines with ADHD and autism to handling rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) during the feedback process, Joe and Abigoliah share the raw, funny, and comforting truths behind their creative partnership.

⚠️ A Note Before You Listen: While Amber is an expert by experience of living it, she is not a medical professional or a doctor, and this podcast is not for diagnosis. While we definitely have a laugh on this show, we do dive into some sensitive topics, so please always look after yourself and listen with care. Always reach out to a professional for proper clinical or diagnostic support.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The reality of a "regional" book tour that only goes an hour from their houses.

• The master spreadsheet Joe built that Abigoliah completely ignored.

• Translating physical stand-up comedy routines and timing onto the written page.

• The grueling, exhausting, and hilarious process of recording their own audiobooks.

• Abigoliah’s secondary show, All British Comedy Explained.

• Pre-order the Book & See Tour Dates: Find every single pre-order link and live reading ticket on their official Linktree. (💡 Pro-Tip: Pre-order from the Owl Bookshop link to request a signed copy and a custom drawing from Joe!)

• Listen to Their Podcast: Catch up on the Neurodivergent Moments podcast on PodFollow.

• Catch Joe Live: Grab tickets for Joe Wells' upcoming UK comedy tour dates on Live Nation.

• Abigoliah’s Official Website: Check out her latest projects and live stand-up dates at abigoliah.com.

• Listen to Abigoliah’s Other Show: Listen to the All British Comedy Explained podcast here.

• Joe’s Instagram: @joewellscomedian

• Abigoliah’s Instagram: @abigoliah

• Abigoliah’s X (Twitter): @abigoliah

  
  

  Not Quite Typical

• Instagram: Come see us in person and watch behind-the-scenes video clips over on Instagram @notquite_typical

• Follow the Show: Make sure to hit follow or subscribe on your favorite platform so new episodes hit your feed every single Tuesday!

• Review: If you loved this episode, please leave a five-star rating and a comment to help other neurodivergent minds find our community.

Season 2 is coming soon. Follow on Instagram so you don’t miss the announcement!

In the Season 1 finale of Not Quite Typical, Amber is joined by her long-time friend and podcast producer, Jess. They get into what it really feels like to travel as a neurodivergent person, from airport sensory overload and decision paralysis to leaving your passport on the side of a mountain in Vietnam.

They also cover late ADHD and autism diagnosis as women, the penny drop moments that changed everything, why COVID was a turning point for so many neurodivergent people, and why resting is an activity, not a failure.

If you are late diagnosed, undiagnosed, or just starting to understand your neurodivergent brain, this one is for you.

Mentioned in this Ep

• Unmasked by Ellie Middleton — a guide to living as a late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD adult. Highly recommended by Amber.

• Sunflower Lanyard Scheme — for invisible disabilities at airports, train stations and travel hubs. Free to pick up at most major UK airports.

• Special assistance when flying — available to request when booking with most airlines including EasyJet. Allows priority boarding and reduced queue time.

Find Not Quite Typical

Instagram: @notquite_typical

Substack: ambernapthine.substack.com

Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts — search Not Quite Typical

If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or share it with someone who might need to hear it. It means the world and helps more people find the show.

Hey friends, just a gentle reminder: I’m sharing from my own lived experience with AuDHD, not a medical textbook! While some of our guests have clinical expertise, every single neurodivergent journey is different. This space is for sharing stories and community, so please always seek professional advice for your own personal health and wellbeing. Thanks for being here!

Have you ever walked away from a social event feeling lonelier than before you arrived? In this episode, Amber goes deep on one of the most quietly painful parts of the neurodivergent experience — not isolation, but the specific kind of loneliness that comes from being surrounded by people and still not feeling reached by any of them.

She covers why ND brains find genuine connection harder, the different types of loneliness and which ones hit hardest for neurodivergent people, how masking means no one actually meets you, RSD and how it makes us engineer our own loneliness, and the double empathy problem (it’s a mismatch, not a deficit). Plus her own honest account from school to adulthood, and why understanding the mechanics of your loneliness is the first step to doing something about it.

Resources

Mind — loneliness support — https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/loneliness/useful-contacts/

Campaign to End Loneliness — https://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/feeling-lonely/helpful-links/

Bridgette Hamstead — AuDHD & Loneliness (Substack) — https://substack.com/@bridgettehamstead/p-195049729

Find Not Quite Typical

Instagram: @notquite_typical

Substack: ambernapthine.substack.com

Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts — search Not Quite Typical

Hey friends, just a gentle reminder: I’m sharing from my own lived experience with AuDHD, not a medical textbook! While some of our guests have clinical expertise, every single neurodivergent journey is different. This space is for sharing stories and community, so please always seek professional advice for your own personal health and wellbeing. Thanks for being here!

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