Why Strong Women Get Caught in Abuse

When Love Becomes Control — Part 3

In Part 3 of our When Love Becomes Control series, trauma therapist and coach Dawn Bouillon answers one of the most painful and confusing questions so many women ask themselves:

“How did I end up here?”

This episode gently dismantles the myth that abuse happens because a woman is weak, naïve, or unaware. Instead, Dawn explores the hard truth: abuse often targets strength—empathy, loyalty, endurance, emotional intelligence, and the ability to carry a lot without falling apart.

You’ll learn how survival skills developed early in life can be weaponized in controlling relationships, how psychological layering quietly deepens over time, and why clarity alone doesn’t always create the capacity to leave. Through a trauma-informed lens, this conversation explains how the nervous system prioritizes survival and familiarity over freedom—until safety is present.

If you’ve ever blamed yourself for staying, hoped someone would love you back into safety, or wondered why your strength didn’t protect you, this episode is for you.

This is not about becoming stronger.

It’s about becoming safer.

In this episode, Dawn Bouillon delves deeper into the effects of psychological abuse on the body and mind, exploring how trauma responses manifest physically and emotionally. She emphasizes the importance of understanding the nervous system's role in trauma and discusses various healing modalities, including somatic therapies and medical interventions, to aid recovery. The conversation highlights the significance of restoring safety and trust in the healing process, encouraging survivors to embrace their journey towards empowerment and self-acceptance.

1. Abuse involves subtle tactics that stack together.
2. The nervous system learns to survive through trauma responses.
3. Trauma bonding creates a chemical loop in the brain.
4. Healing requires more than just talk therapy.
5. Somatic therapies can effectively address trauma stored in the body.
6. The SGB shot can provide relief for trauma responses.
7. Healing is about restoring safety and trust in the body.
8. Small moments of self-care teach the body safety.
9. You are healing at the speed of trust you restore.
10. You are not that girl anymore; you are becoming empowered.

In Part 1 of Dawn Bouillon’s new 3-part series “When Love Becomes Control: Understanding Psychological Abuse,” Dawn breaks down why coercive control is so often missed—and why it can leave strong, capable women feeling confused, trapped, and disconnected from themselves even when there are no visible bruises.

She introduces the idea of psychological layering: a stack of subtle tactics that, over time, creates an invisible “cage” where you begin policing yourself to stay safe. Dawn walks through key layers like gaslighting (controlling your reality), intermittent reinforcement (the addictive cycle that fuels trauma bonds), identity erosion (shrinking your voice, needs, and dreams), isolation, fear conditioning, and spiritual control—especially when faith language is used to shame or trap someone into staying.

Most importantly, Dawn reframes the painful thought of “I chose this” with compassion and clarity: survival inside coercive control is not the same as true choice. This episode is an empowering starting point for anyone trying to make sense of what happened, support someone they love, or begin healing by learning to trust their perceptions, body, and boundaries again.

High-conflict divorce is often misunderstood—and misnamed. In this episode of Not That Girl Anymore, trauma therapist and Embrace Your Brave founder Dawn Bouillon sits down with author and trauma recovery practitioner Susie Miller Wendel (creator of Nurturing After Narcissism) to unpack what’s really happening beneath “high conflict”: coercive control that continues after separation.

Together, they explore why abuse frequently escalates post-separation, how the family court system can inadvertently reward abusive dynamics, and why traditional “co-parenting” often isn’t possible with a narcissistic or coercively controlling ex. Susie shares practical frameworks—including parallel parenting, Grey Rock/Yellow Rock communication, and how to protect your peace so you can be the safe, stable parent your children need.

If you’re navigating a custody battle, post-separation abuse, or the fallout of narcissistic family systems, this conversation offers language, validation, and grounded next steps—plus a reminder: you have more power than you think.

narcissistic abuse, narcissism, trauma therapy, trauma recovery, healing journey, women’s healing, nervous system regulation, boundaries, self-worth, empowerment

What does it actually mean to live in alignment—and why do so many women feel exhausted, disconnected, or stuck even when life looks “fine” on the outside?

In the first episode of 2026, Dawn Bouillon is joined by somatic practitioner and collaborator Dottie Griffin for a powerful conversation about living in alignment—not as a mindset shift, but as a whole-person experience.

Together, they explore why misalignment isn’t a failure, but a survival strategy—and how living out of alignment often shows up as chronic anxiety, people-pleasing, exhaustion, resentment, and feeling like life is on autopilot. Dottie introduces a simple but profound framework for alignment: mind, body, heart, and spirit moving in the same direction.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why saying “yes” when you mean “no” is one of the clearest signs of misalignment
• How your body communicates misalignment long before your mind catches up
• The difference between mindset work and true embodied alignment
• Why many women were conditioned to abandon their intuition to stay safe or accepted
• What begins to shift when you stop betraying yourself to keep the peace
• How alignment leads to clarity, energy, confidence, and authentic connection

This conversation is an invitation—not to become someone new—but to return to who you already are.

If your body responded while listening… if something inside whispered this is me… trust that.

You’re not that girl anymore.

As the year comes to a close, this final episode of the Braving the Holidays series offers a gentler way to step into what’s next.

Host Dawn Bouillon, joined by Dottie Griffin and Ashley Woodard, invites you to pause at the doorway between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming—without pressure, resolutions, or fixing yourself.

Together, they reflect on:

1. Honoring what this year has held
2. Letting go of people-pleasing and shame
3. Learning to trust your body, your story, and your inner voice
4. Choosing alignment over approval
5. Becoming more of who you already are—gently

This conversation weaves personal reflection, healing insights, somatic grounding, and intention-setting into a safe, spacious moment for anyone navigating grief, growth, complicated family dynamics, or a quiet desire for something more aligned.

If the new year feels loud, heavy, or overwhelming, this episode is an invitation to slow down, choose yourself, and remember: you matter—and healing is allowed to be soft.

Happy New Year from Not That Girl Anymore.

The holidays can be beautiful—and deeply tender. In this episode of Not That Girl Anymore, Dawn Bouillion is joined by Dottie Griffin and Ashley Woodard for an honest conversation about braving the holidays with gentleness, presence, and self-compassion.

They explore grief, pressure, people-pleasing, and the longing for connection, while offering grounding practices and reminders that your worth isn’t earned through performance. This episode is a soft place to land—permission to slow down, protect your peace, and honor where you are.

You’re not alone. You don’t have to be perfect. And you’re braving this season in real time.

The holidays can magnify loss, heartache, and the lives we no longer have. In this episode of Not That Girl Anymore, Dawn Bouillion—trauma therapist and coach—speaks gently and honestly about grief during the holidays.

This episode is for anyone:

• Missing a loved one
• Grieving a relationship, marriage, or version of life that’s gone
• Feeling pressure to be “okay” when they’re not

Grief isn’t something we get over—it’s something we learn to carry. Together, we explore how to honor grief without judgment, create meaningful rituals, set boundaries, and care for your nervous system during a season that can feel overwhelming.

You are not broken. You are grieving—and that makes sense.

In this powerful episode of Not That Girl Anymore, trauma therapist and coach Dawn Bouillion unpacks why Christmas can feel overwhelming, heavy, or emotionally unsafe for survivors of narcissistic or dysregulated family systems.

If you feel that familiar knot in your stomach as the holidays approach, this conversation reminds you: you’re not imagining it, you’re not dramatic, and you’re not alone.

Dawn breaks down:

• Why the holidays activate old survival roles (caretaker, scapegoat, lost child, golden child)
• How narcissistic dynamics escalate around Christmas
• Why joy threatens a narcissist — and why your joy matters
• Trauma reactivation in the nervous system
• How guilt, confusion, and cognitive dissonance keep you stuck
• Real-life examples of emotional sabotage, chaos, triangulation, and boundary-punishment
• How to choose safety, boundaries, and self-care without apology

You’ll also learn practical tools to protect your peace this holiday season—lowering expectations, limiting exposure, regulating your body, and creating new rituals that honor your healing.

This Christmas, your healing, your peace, and your joy matter. And you're not that girl anymore.

IIn this episode of Not That Girl Anymore, Dawn Bouillon is joined by guests Ashley Woodard and Dottie Griffin for an honest, heartfelt conversation about why the holiday season can feel overwhelming for so many women—and what you can actually do about it.

Together, they unpack:

• How perfectionism gets activated during the holidays
• Why old family roles (the fixer, the peacekeeper, the helper, the scapegoat) resurface
• The pressure to create “magical moments,” match social media standards, and please everyone
• How guilt tricks you into overextending yourself
• Practical boundaries you can set around time, emotions, capacity, and family dynamics
• Why saying “no” (without explanation) is often the most loving choice
• How to honor your own joy, needs, peace, and traditions
• Permission to create a holiday that feels good to you, not just good for others

This episode is a guide to reclaiming your holiday from burnout, resentment, and pressure—and stepping into a season defined by authenticity, presence, and peace.

Because it’s your holiday, too. And you’re not that girl anymore.