NOT YOUR AVERAGE OPERATOR

As for all things that have a beginning, they must also have an end. This week, we are proud to put the “final” stamp on our NYAO podcast journey after 90 straight weeks. 90 straight weeks of our core pillars of humility, honesty, and action. Sharing stories and lessons of failure, victory, and everything in between.

Throughout our time, Mike, Melon, and Raf have gone through a substantial amount of growth. Learning to speak to one another and access new levels of emotional intelligence, communication, and significance. You, our listeners, have only added to that vine with your shared stories and experiences. We have been happy and honored to have you along the trail with us.

In this episode you will hear the teams final thoughts on the 90 week journey, what it means to them, and what is ahead.    There will also be new details on the future as the trio will evolve and relaunch 01 June 2022 with their new brand and title:

“Pushing Back Chaos”

W/ Melon, Mike, and Raf

Watch out for advertisements on FB, IG, Twitter, Linked In, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Heroes Media Group in the coming weeks!

Cheers and thank you from the NYAO Podcast team! We’ll see you soon!

Very Respectfully,

Mike

Paul “Melon” McFAdden

Raf “Tio” Espinosa

It’s always great to take stock of where you have been- this is one of the most important parts of determining where you are now, and helps refocus on the journey ahead.

Raf opens this episode revealing where he is now in life. Sharing the house he dreamed of with his extended family, and about to embark on a 10 day trip that will culminate with him completing his type rating and certification in his airline job. These initially only existed in his mind, but over the course of our series, our audience has witnessed his journey, as he went about creating the life of his dreams from possibility to actuality.

Your team then take the time to go over some of their standout episodes- a difficult task after nearly 90 episodes over 20 months. We only release conversations that we feel reflect who we are and support our aim of attempting to push back the chaos, along side you, our audience.

It can be rare sometimes to find a space or a group where men share honestly and deeply. We opened our podcast series with a conversation right from the heart- about our biggest setbacks. This set the stage for how our subsequent episodes flowed and the show unfolded. Big topics, attempting to remain authentic and to normalize men discussing life while having a few laughs.

We have been blessed with amazing guests- too many to mention in this short summary, but together we remember a few that left lasting impressions on us, and about whom we received a lot of feedback.

Your team finish with a major reveal about an opportunity they see ahead of them.

Let us know about some of your favorite episodes, topics and guests. Maybe a story touched you, or you were motivated by a guest. Maybe there was a favorite story that still makes you laugh.

Paul “Melon” McFadden

[email protected]

Raf “Tio” Espinosa

[email protected]

Mike

[email protected]

SPOTIFY:

https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q

APPLE PODCASTS:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477

As a follow-up to last week’s episode on being authentic, we must acknowledge that while being genuine, it is important to understand what we are attempting to be a part of. Whether it be a relationship, a work environment, a political party, or within a family.

In order to conform, one must accept and understand the positives and negatives that may come along with the decision, as all others do. Throughout this process, people in the world have the right to change and evolve. Sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worst. As Mike says, “Sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade.”

Conforming can bring unity, identity, teamwork, power, and friendships. On the flipside, it can also bring blind loyalty, abuse of power, censorship, non-authenticity, and divisiveness. It is important for us to always evaluate our own morals, standards, and character and assess whether or not the groups we are part of stand for and reflect those exact key pillars. Whether you are brand new to the environment, or a veteran of 20 years, we should always strive to be the voice of reason in all aspects and hold the standards for the greater good.

Do you have some examples of both good and bad instances in which conforming came into effect? Was it addressed? How was it resolved? We’d love to hear your responses.

Paul “Melon” McFadden

[email protected]

Raf “Tio” Espinosa

[email protected]

Mike

[email protected]

SPOTIFY:

https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q

APPLE PODCASTS:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477

“This above all: to thine own self be true

And it must follow, as the night the day

Thou canst not then be false to any man”

– William Shakespeare, Hamlet

People often speak of being “Authentic”. What does it mean? How does this play out in life? Authenticity, in the context of this episode, is defined as the degree to which our actions are aligned with our values and desires- especially when there is pressure to behave differently. How closely are being true to ourselves?

With some people, we know that we can really be our true selves. We can bring everything we have to the table. We know them, and they know us down to the ground. We have true freedom and full self-expression in these relationships. We feel alive.

In other situations, we repress our thoughts or feelings under a layer. We are “inauthentic”. We have a loss of full self-expression. There are ways of being or topics we can’t touch. We feel fake or repressed.

Clearing these relationships up takes honesty and the willingness to take responsibility for letting things slide. As Raf says, sometimes we “need to put the ugly baby on the table”. Which is Melon’s new favourite English phrase.

In this conversation, you’ll hear examples of work and personal relationships where a straight conversation took place, and authenticity was restored. Your hosts distinguish between authenticity and being an ass. You can be straight and kind. You can clear up a past error and end with no negative charge in the space between you and the other person.

In all cases, you can at least get any skeletons out of your closet and out of your future. You can remove the mask and know you aren’t faking it with that person anymore.

Let us know of a time when you have restored a relationship and experienced being authentic. Try having a conversation with this aim this week- let us know how it goes.

Paul “Melon” McFadden

[email protected]

Raf “Tio” Espinosa

[email protected]

Mike

[email protected]

SPOTIFY:

https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q

APPLE PODCASTS:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477

This week, the boys felt compelled to talk about a somber topic; the invasion of Ukraine. On the eve of the 5th day of the Russian invasion, the guys felt it was important to try and focus on many of the inspiring and positive stories that have been propagating the news from the front lines. Stories of leadership and sacrifice. Strong men and women making difficult decisions to save their country and families, while forging ahead to hold off invading forces. They share their thoughts on the inspiring true tales of the famous Ukrainian boxing champions, the Klitschko Brothers, who have left their life of luxury to defend their native lands. Similarly, President Zelensky is celebrated for his ability to rise to the occasion as a war time leader. They run some parallels from their former experiences while serving in various combat theaters overseas. All three make an effort to funnel their current frustration with anecdotal talking points on how we can all glean fundamental importances that would massively benefit our society here in the Western First World to avoid the destruction of peace as we’re witnessing in Ukraine.. Clear cut examples by the individuals in Ukraine fighting for their lives. Fundamental importances such as, making every effort to never dehumanize any opponent. Striving to be an absolute dangerous monster, but controlled and harnessed as a sheepdog, rather than a tyrant. Finally, they want to remind everyone that no one ever wins in a war, not even the victors.

Please share your thoughts about this episode and more importantly, we hope this encourages our listeners to spend some time thinking about what you can do to support Ukraine in their fight for survival as a sovereign nation.  We encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us with your own stories. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day

Paul “Melon” McFadden

[email protected]

Raf “Tio” Espinosa

[email protected]

Mike

[email protected]

SPOTIFY:

https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q

APPLE PODCASTS:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477

This week, the boys were inspired to talk about the many layered approaches that have historically proved fruitful for transitioning veterans, as well as themselves in establishing bonds similar to their time in service. More pointedly, they discussed  how to shift your mind and processes to ensure a positively gained experience as you leave your old (military) tribe, and venture out to find your new (civilian) tribe.

They had a deep discussion on some of the catastrophic results that can come from dissociating from our evolutionary deep rooted inclination to be an intrinsic member in communal life. Largely, having others depend on you, as much as you depend on them, as is commonly experienced in high stressed, high risk tight knit organizations like the military, law enforcement, and alike.

Mike spends some time warning that a significant number of veterans are unfortunately setting themselves up for downfalls by having an expectation of entitlement that more often diminishes the core life skills developed through unique hardships and challenges experienced in a combat environment.

Melon highlights that injecting yourself into a sport you love is a great opportunity to cultivate those bonds we’re seeking, but also play a massive role in mental health rehabilitation.

Raf shares anecdotal stories he heard on a recent podcast and how humanity’s mental health,  and its ability to deal with trauma reaches the apex when the individual is surrounded by a close knit tribe, are not just coincidentally related, but necessary and backed by countless studies.

Please share your thoughts about this episode and more importantly, we hope this encourages our listeners to spend some time thinking about what works best for them to unindoctrinate from an old organization while successfully cultivating strong ties with a new one whose’ contrasts are stark. We encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us with your own stories. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day.

Paul “Melon” McFadden

[email protected]

Raf “Tio” Espinosa

[email protected]

Mike

[email protected]

SPOTIFY:

https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q

APPLE PODCASTS:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477

This week, the NYAO team is proud to welcome our friend and NFL lineman BJ Finney, from the Pittsburgh Steelers.

BJ joins us to discuss what he routinely calls his “Unfair Advantage.”- Being handed the worst of circumstances at a young age,only to learn the lessons and prosper from them sooner rather than later in life.

His story is one of great loss and then to uncompromising success, beginning with the unexpected passing of his father, followed by many years of struggles to pay for college, medical issues, and taking care of his family and evolving into a successful 7 year tenure in the NFL.

As BJ explains, life can be viewed in a few ways. For one, life can be a game of poker in which we are dealt a random hand and we can either focus on the less than desired cards we received, or have positive inputs and build upon that hand to win at life.

Another way is to think of life as a road with multiple forks in the road. On a daily basis, we find ourselves coming to that decision point on not just one instance, but multiple. It is up to us to choose not just easiest path, but right path to get us where we want to be.

If you can relate to BJ’s story and you’d like to reach out, have questions, or comments, reach out to us! We always enjoy to hear from our listeners!

Paul “Melon” McFadden

[email protected]

Raf “Tio” Espinosa

[email protected]

Mike

[email protected]

SPOTIFY:

https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q

APPLE PODCASTS:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477

Have you ever wondered if you actually were fitting in? Whether it be a professional group, friends, new acquaintances, family, or even an intimate relationship?

Sometimes we struggle to “fit in”, but if we are struggling, we must ask ourselves an honest question: Do we even belong in it if we are struggling and it’s not who we really are?

Listen in as the trio of Raf, Mike, and Melon open up and discuss some of their own experiences on fitting in as children in a gang environment, to going through a culture transition in special operations, and the trials of acceptance in the aviation community while also reflecting on some of the considerations one must make to feel accepted into a community, group, or relationship.

Some of the questions we must ask ourselves:

-Why do I want to be a part of this?

-Why do I want to be accepted?

-Do I accept myself for who I am?

-If things change, am i comfortable walking away and being ok?

Let us hear your stories and share your thoughts on what it means to “fit in.”

Paul “Melon” McFadden

[email protected]

Raf “Tio” Espinosa

[email protected]

Mike

[email protected]

SPOTIFY:

https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q

APPLE PODCASTS:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477

Young people when asked said the main thing they wanted in life was to make a lot of money. More than 80% listed this first.

Is this the best indicator or sign post for a good and fulfilling life?

How could we ever know?

Harvard University has been tracking a group of students for more than 75 years, and the results of this huge study reveal that the number and strength of social connections throughout our life is the best indicator of our future physical health, mental functioning and sense of happiness.

At the same time, suicide rates among men are skyrocketing in synch with rates of loneliness. Men over 45 reporting loneliness increased from 20% to 33% in ten years, while the suicide rate in this group went up 50% in the same period. Male suicide rates are 3.7 times higher than among females.

Men struggle with self-expression- of their internal emotional state, and especially with the ability to tell significant people that they love them. And yet boys up to their early teens are just as open and expressive as their sisters.

How are these things linked and what can be done about it?

How can we help boys and men make progress in these critical areas?

Join you hosts as they take on a topic that they feel it is essential to address: the ability to self-express and generate meaningful relationships as life moves forward.

There are take away’s here for all of us- not just men. But think especially about men in your life you love- from boys to grandfathers- as it applies to them even more.

Our challenge to you is to initiate a conversation with someone new for the first time. Let us know how it went for you.

References:

Harvard Study of Adult Development

https://www.adultdevelopmentstudy.org/

TED Talk by Dr Robert Waldinger, 4th Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development

https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_study_on_happiness?language=en

Mark Green’s article “Why do we murder the beautiful friendships of boys?”

https://medium.com/remaking-manhood/why-do-we-murder-the-beautiful-friendships-of-boys-3ad722942755

Commuter Study- University of Chicago Booth Prof. Nicholas Epley

https://www.chicagobooth.edu/media-relations-and-communications/press-releases/mom-was-wrong-you-should-talk-to-strangers

2019 BBC Article on the same topic:

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-48459940

Paul “Melon” McFadden

[email protected]

Raf “Tio” Espinosa

[email protected]

Mike

[email protected]

SPOTIFY:

https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q

APPLE PODCASTS:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477

Ever wonder what kind of leader you are? Does it match your personality? Are there instances when you have to shift from one style to the next depending on the environment? Now you can find out!

This week, the team tackles the 5 styles of leadership and share some of their own experiences and how they are as leaders.

5 Styles of Leadership:

To find out about yourself, we recommend you visit:

PERSONALITY ASSESSMENT:

https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/IPIP-BFFM/

LEADERSHIP ASSESSMENT:

https://www.verywellmind.com/whats-your-leadership-style-3866929

Paul “Melon” McFadden

[email protected]

Raf “Tio” Espinosa

[email protected]

Mike

[email protected]

LISTEN IN ON:

SPOTIFY:

https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q

APPLE PODCASTS:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477