Sexual grooming is often an ambiguous space that starts with attention, "love-like" relationships, or even a professional massage that feels just a little "off". But for parents, spotting the difference between a caring coach and a predator is incredibly difficult.
In this episode, we are joined by Bernard Mackenzie, Manager at the NIE Wellness Centre, to discuss the uncomfortable realities of child abuse, sexual grooming, and the hidden psychology behind teenage self-harm. We move beyond the headlines (like the Ian Fang case) to understand what actually constitutes abuse and why traditional "tough love" might be masking a bigger problem.
Guest: Bernard Mackenzie, Manager, NIE Wellness Centre
KEY TOPICS:
- What is sexual grooming? Understanding the "ambiguous space" in student-coach relationships.
- The "Ian Fang" case: How grooming often begins with attention and digital communication.
- The Red Flags: Why a sudden change in dressing (covering up OR revealing more) can be a sign of abuse.
- Understanding Self-Harm: Why cutting is often "cathartic" for teens rather than just attention-seeking.
- The Protocol: Steps to take if you suspect your child is being groomed or abused.
► NIE WELLNESS CENTRE RESOURCES
If you need support or wish to connect with the centre:
www.ntu.edu.sg/nie/about-us/campus-facilities/nie-wellness-centre
6790 3318 | [email protected]
► GET HELP IN SINGAPORE (ABUSE & FAMILY VIOLENCE)
National Anti-Violence Hotline (NAVH): 1800-777-0000 (24/7)
NAVH Reporting: www.msf.gov.sg/what-we-do/break-the-silence
Find your nearest Family Service Centre (FSC): www.msf.gov.sg/our-services/directories
► GET HELP IN SINGAPORE (MENTAL HEALTH)
Samaritans of Singapore (SOS): 1-767 (Hotline) | 9151 1767 (WhatsApp) | www.sos.org.sg
Institute of Mental Health (IMH): 6389 2222 | www.imh.com.sg
► CONNECT WITH NOT YOUR OLD UNCLE
Telegram: @NotYourOldUncle
Youtube: @NotYourOldUncle
► ABOUT OUR PODCAST
'Not Your Old Uncle' is a podcast for curious adults (40+) in Singapore and Southeast Asia. We tackle the new rules of life, career, finance, and health with modern insights—not outdated "uncle" wisdom.
Hosted in English (with occasional Chinese episodes).
Subtitles available in English and Chinese. / 提供中英文字幕.
🛑 DISCLAIMER: The views, opinions, and statements expressed by guests on 'Not Your Old Uncle' Podcast are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Authentic Legacy Media. This discussion is for general information only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek professional help for individual concerns.
📌 Timestamps
00:00 - Introduction
00:00:51 - Ian Fang & Sexual Grooming
00:02:10 - The "Ambiguous Space" in Coaching
00:04:47 - Story: The "Nice Coach" Predator
00:06:42 - Reporting Abuse to Schools
00:08:22 - Behavioral Signs of Abuse
00:10:15 - Sudden Changes in Dressing
00:11:22 - Understanding Self-Harm & Parasuicide
00:12:45 - Why Teens Actually Cut Themselves
00:14:25 - Dangerous Cutting Patterns
00:15:50 - Vaping as an Emotional Escape
00:17:16 - Case Study: Preventing Abuse at Home
#NotYourOldUncle #ChildAbuseAwareness #MentalHealthSG #Parenting #Singapore
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