Pushing past critics, judgment, and perception to create the kind of content that feels most aligned.

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I’ve written quite a few posts this week, but none of them felt right to share publicly. So instead . . . I’m choosing to be more intentional and release only when the light bulb turns on with the inner voice confidently saying, “yes.”

MIND RENEWAL

It’s okay to refrain and wait. Trust your intuition. Don’t rush to be heard, seen, or witnessed. This is the beauty of creating from the driving force of “what do I want” instead of “what will people like.” Mm, mm, mmm! I can taste liberation in my work — finally!

There is a difference between sharing to be seen vs. sharing because something in you needs expression. The first is external oxygen. The second is internal fire.

WHAT TO DISCUSS NOW

There are several topics floating around and well, what the heck — why not talk about all of them!

I’ll begin with the fact that I had a moment about a week ago where I started to doubt and almost regret importing an older mailing list into Substack. At first, this was just my little hobby on the internet where no one who knows me could analyze or judge. It felt like a safe haven to begin sharing the kind of content that actually reflects my real self, not the one trying to keep up with trends. I was willing to shout into the void. But, I felt a nudge to invite people in and welcome the opportunity to reintroduce myself. Yet, that excitement quickly turned into anxiety.

Did I make a mistake? Will I fall back into being overly edited because I know so-and-so could see this? Why are the analytics bothering me now? I thought I didn’t care, but I fear I’m becoming a spectacle.

Whew! So thankful I’m regulating my nervous system nowadays. Because, there I was about to make this about opinions rather than what I felt called to do. What I realize is that I was trying to protect myself from rejection — the invitation was made available knowing others can decline by unsubscribing, disengaging, or worse, faking support while being deeply critical.

I’m happy I didn’t run this time. Actually, I’m proud!

Hi, folks! This is the real me. Again, take it or leave it. Just grateful you’re here.

Which leads me into another chit chat. Come along on this tangent. Don’t mind if I do!

Yeah, so . . . I was having a whole debacle in my head after several interactions with people and spaces I once departed from. And, I just kept thinking of this thought where people love (or hate) a version you outgrew yet still see you as that past person.

I recorded some pretty angsty dialogue in my processing. But, I’m healing and all that jazz so a part of the practice is to prioritize personal reflection instead of making challenges first about anybody else. Thank you, mentor! Here’s what I concluded:

* There’s power in being unseen for a season. It sharpens your discernment. You get to witness how people treat you when they think you have nothing to give. Let them show you their level of interest, curiosity, and care before you can offer them something. There’s value in knowing who wants a genuine relationship with you, beyond your usefulness or their expectations.

* Wearing a filter is a waste of energy — eventually you suffocate and have no choice but to take it off. Might as well do it now.

MORE THOUGHTS

On another note, this quote has captured exactly what I’ve been trying to put into words:

“When we change internally and know that our public self-expression no longer matches our internal landscape, we must state publicly, in some new form, that we are different now.” — The Sacredness of Public Self-Expression After Internal Change, Joel Uili

Can you recall a moment in your life when a major life change reshaped your entire aesthetic? I’m definitely in a liminal space for this. I stand between knowing myself better and adopting a format of expression that truly fits.

For example, I have so much to say but I must find the packaging that will best deliver my valuables to the receiver.

I’ve been exploring but I do meet frustration, especially when it comes to music. I have the message just trying to find the sound that’s right for my voice. However, with acting I recently experienced an ‘aha’ moment because I am slowly becoming more clear about my lane. But that required sitting with myself long enough to listen within.

Check in: How’s it going limiting outside noise to better hear the voice that should matter most to you?

When you become more self-aware to who you are you don’t feel the need to take on a style that isn’t yours. All of our voices have a specific personality. It’s our job to figure out what that is – even if it takes multiple tries.

OVERALL

I have no grand conclusion or button way to connect the rumination. These are just things that’ve been turning my wheels lately. Cheers to introspection!

Let me know if anything resonates,

ARA

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