Nothing Expected

In the past, I’ve done all my production in my home studio. Lately, I’ve been trying to get used to working on a laptop so I can be more mobile. The transition has not been the smoothest. I’ve realized that my home setup is vastly superior to a laptop – at least for my working style. When I’m on my laptop, I have one screen, a track pad,  and headphones. When I’m at home, I have two screens, a mouse, a midi keyboard, and good speakers. The dual screens and mouse allow me to work faster. The speakers let me hear an more accurate rendition of what I’m working on. The keyboard lets me be more creative – I can play ideas out instead of trying to hear them in my head. For while, as I tried to make songs exclusively on my laptop, I kept running into dead ends. I would get good starts, but then I couldn’t figure out how to move the tracks forward.match betting

The Time Lapse Boogie started out the same way. I put together some drums, bass, and a few other instruments to make a decent foundation. At a certain point, I couldn’t add anything to the song even though it sounded very incomplete. After many failed attempts to go on, I finally tried working on it at home. As soon as I sat down at the setup that I spent years perfecting, the ideas started flowing. If my laptop is a toolbox, my home setup is a full workshop. I can get a good amount of work done with the toolbox, but nothing beats the full workshop experience. After realizing this, I continued to work on The Time Lapse Boogie on my laptop, but I also regularly worked on it at home. Here is the final result.

This is one of those songs that came after many false starts and unproductive sessions. Sometimes trying to find the right idea – musically or lyrically – is like casting a fishing line. The first few throws may amount to nothing, but finally, you feel tug and you have something to reel in. What I finally reeled in is a song about a subject that, as an artist, I frequently find on my mind. Lyrics are after the break as usual.

Word
lyrics and music by Ahd Child

Verse 1
A word can be a seed
One tiny little speck
That can start a new life
If conditions are right
If the wrong word is planted
It can grow into a weed
So be careful what you sow
Or there’ll be nothing left to reap
Or a word can be a root
Growing large and intricate
While on top it seems delicate
The word is truly vigorous
And it can’t be unsaid
Because when leaves look dead
The root is still alive
And it sprouts once again
But it could be
That a word is like a tree
That sways but doesn’t fall
In a hurricane’s breeze
Some stand straight
But some bend when they sway
So they still stand up
But their structure’s corrupt
And a word is the fruit
From the tree from the root
And it carries more seeds
To be spread in that breeze
And what may sprout
Depends on how it started out
It can be a tangle of weeds
Or a forest of flowers

Chorus
I could say don’t do as I say
But then why should I say
The words that I say
I guess I could say don’t do as I say
But then why should I say
Anything

Verse 2
If you say the wrong words
Then those words are sown
And they can grow in the mind
Hidden and unknown
It’s not always easy
To trace cause to effect
So never assume
Bad seeds are lifeless and dead
You can call it just entertainment
But that’s wishful thinking
In truth, the words that we hear
Do sink in
And these bad seeds
Can form roots that run deep
That are too strong to kill
By the time that they’re seen
And from these roots
Come our twisted up trees
With tangled branches
And poisonous leaves
And they grow ripe fruit
Bad words do reproduce
And the good that we know
Get’s choked out and reduced
Every man has a garden
To tend or neglect
To make it grow right
Requires constant vigilance
So let diligence be our mantra
As we think before we speak
Envision the fruit
As you plant the seed

Chorus

Verse 3
So why must it be
That we treat words like pebbles
Throwing them carelessly
Then assuming they settle
Some words are flowers
But some also have thorns
The ones that seem sweet
Might do the most harm
A word is a life
That will grow and thrive
And words never seem to die
So be careful what you say
A word is not a game
To carelessly play
You can walk away
But words tend to stay
We can pretend that their sterile
But they will still grow
We can claim ignorance
But the truth is we know
You can act like you don’t
But you won’t change truth by lying
Reality happens
Even if you deny it
I don’t claim to be a leader
But I do recite lyrics
I could tell kids don’t listen
But they might still hear them
I might be teaching a lesson
Even if I don’t intend it
So I consider my words
I try to only speak wisdom

Chorus

Maculele is a Brazilian dance/mock-fight performed with sticks. I’m not going into detail about the dance, but if you’re interested, there are plenty of videos available on YouTube. Several of the stories of its origins tell of a boy named Maculele who died fighting an enemy tribe that invaded his village. Several years ago, when I wrote the lyrics to this song,  I’d heard a basic version of the story but was unable to find many details, so I made them up. Now that there is more info about the dance available on the internet, I see I got some of my details wrong, but lets just call that artistic license. The music in this song borrows some elements from the music used for the dance, but the tempo and instrumentation give it more of a hip-hop feel.

Maculele
lyrics and music by Ahd Child

Verse 1
His people came first
He was ready to move the earth
If that’s what it took
To help the tribe of his birth
They were a product of the earth
But developed and diverged
Producing beautiful examples
Of when many minds merge
Every single hut
Each cultivated piece of land
Was one more instance
Of the fruit of work of man
They built it all with their hands
And had a strong sense pride
And they built each other up
So they all had strong minds
A total stranger
Will feel like a relative
After a lifetime
Of shared work and experience
It’s thicker than water
Consistency of blood
Hard to wash away
Though it may rain and it may flood
They were too strong to be undone
Linked by strength of their hearts
And the power of the whole
Outstripped the sum of its parts
His neighbors were his life
Because he was theirs to them
So he was prepared to die
If he was called on to defend

Chorus
He jumps and he dances but this is not game
Or at least if it is it’s a deadly way to play
They attacked the tribe of the bravest of the brave
They made a big mistake, Maculele

Verse 2
They had a peaceful way of living
Didn’t mess with other tribes
They lived and let live
And loved how they lived their lives
They were far from warriors
Always avoided fights
But life is constant change
And things changed one night
A group of invaders
With malicious intent
Surrounded the tribe
While they all slept
Most met death
Without waking from their sleep
But one invader was slow
And one victim got to scream
Maculele woke from dreams
And saw what was going down
The blood of his family
Covered the ground
He was the last left alive
They had killed his whole tribe
He was so full of grief
That he couldn’t even cry
He could have snuck away to hide
And tried to build a new life
Or avenge the lost lives
But if he did he knew he’d die
But there was nothing to decide
They had destroyed all he treasured
The desperation he felt
Called for desperate measures

Chorus

Verse 3
This peaceful young man
Had never been a fighter
But anger does much
And his heart was on fire
He grabbed two wooden sticks
And walked out in the open
Paused, looked around
Continued on after a moment
One invader noticed
And he chose to kill this no one
But Maculele was quick
And he left his skull broken
Two more tried to engage him
But they didn’t even faze him
He killed them both quickly
As the rage overcame him
The moon lit the bloody night
It was an incredible sight
One man defeating many
It was the most amazing fight
He jumped so often and so high
That it seemed that he could fly
When the invaders died
They saw death from the sky
But Maculele
Was just a human being
And as he got cut
He grew weaker from the bleeding
As he killed his last foe
He fell to his knees
Too weak to stand
And then too weak to breathe

Chorus

I was looking through my archives and I found this unreleased track. I made That’s Dirty several years ago as a favor for DJ Dirty of Sundae Philadelphia. This one was made with the dance floor in mind because DJ Dirty wouldn’t have it any other way. Unlike most of my music, I did use a sample in this song. It’s a well known bit from Funkadelic’s Not Just Knee Deep. I didn’t try to obscure the sample in any way, but hopefully this should be a completely new way for you to hear it.

Sometimes when I start a song, I have a vision. Sometimes by the end, that vision is realized, and other times it isn’t. The idea behind Pinocchiobot was that all the the vocals would be performed by a computer voice. I figured that I would write some lines, stick them in a text-to-speech program, and then do some chopping to make them fit into the song. Instead, I ended up proving that even a monotonous, emotionless human voice is difficult to replace with a machine. I gave up on the text-to-speech idea and made Pinocchiobot an instrumental track.

Though the computer voice was left out of the song, as I worked on it, I imagined words a machine might by saying. This song is about a machine that moves and acts according to the whims of it’s puppeteer, but craves the type of attention a real boy would receive.

Lyrically speaking, Summertime Rain is an odd song for me. Instead of trying to tell a story, when I wrote this, I was trying to tell a particular feeling. If you mix feelings of expectation, uncertainty, mortality, and happiness, you will have the feeling I was trying to capture. Musically, I was going for something that’s kind of funk and kind of calm at the same time. This is a song that is easy for me to see imagine as a video. Maybe someday . . .

Summertime Rain
lyrics and music by Ahd Child

Chorus
I’m gonna wait
For that summertime rain
I’m gonna wait
To get washed away

Verse 1
Standing by the curb looking down at the dirt
I’m waiting for the rain to kiss the earth
Up in the sky, all I see is the sun
But the weatherman promised, so I know it’s gonna come

I been waiting all year, So what’s one more day
If the cutter of threads will let me stay
It’s been a whole year since I wet my throat
So the grim reaper might make me go

Chorus

Verse 2
My life hasn’t been long, but I’ve loved what I’ve had
So if I don’t see this water, you don’t be sad
Sometimes the drops fall and sometimes they wait
I’m in the hands of the clouds and at the mercy of fate

I been waiting all year so what’s one more day
If the cutter of threads will let me stay
It’s been a whole year since I wet my throat
So the grim reaper might make me go

Chorus

Bridge
I’ve seen a lot of rivers and I’ve seen a lot of lakes
But in the end it’s for these drops that I wait
Waiting for the rain

Chorus

Verse 3
My life hasn’t been long, but I’ve loved what I’ve had
So if I don’t see this water, you don’t be sad
Sometimes the drops fall and sometimes they wait
I’m in the hands of the clouds and at the mercy of fate

I been waiting all year so what’s one more day
If the cutter of threads will let me stay
It’s been a whole year since I wet my throat
So the grim reaper might make me go

Chorus

Bridge 2
I don’t want to be saved or to go back in time
I just want the water to fall on these eyes

I started this song aiming for something calmer than the others I’ve posted so far, so before I laid down a single note, I set a slow tempo. Proving that music is never simple, this song ended up being relatively energetic anyway. Once I realized what was happening, I made no effort to change it because it seemed the song was trying to go someplace in particular. My task was to figure out where. Well, here’s that someplace.

Robots and Aliens
music and lyrics by Ahd Child

Verse
I find my thoughts are strange
I know that that’s OK
But sometimes I wonder if I should change
I get these strange looks for all my deviations
And they’re so devastating cuz I’m cast out on a lonely . . .
But where should I go, if not the status quo
Perhaps a journey far far far from my earthly home
I’m blasting off with turbo boosters and no space suit
I’m open to the universe with few expectations
Who knows the sensations I’ll find in outer space
I’ll walk my lonely path until I find my own place
I can’t be grounded here, I’m floating in the wind
Like a feather in sky, so I might as well fly high
I’ll leave this static orbit like a new comet forming
I’ll find a path that’s chaotic and less boring
I’ll find the spot where the cosmos first exploded
Examine the beginning as I’m floating

Chorus
Commune with aliens
Different intelligence
Observe new substances
And unique elements

I guess it’s normal for me to come up with music first, then start writing words that seem to fit it. Life of a Mouse started that way. A few lines in, the idea for the final song started forming and I ended up rewriting the lines that had come before the idea. File this one under angry hip-hop.

The Life of a Mouse

Lyrics and music by Ahd Child

Verse 1
I see fluorescent white lights and steel in my sleep
I can’t be free from these concrete dreams
As I scream at the bars at the side of my cage
I get no where with my rage
I am a lab rat for experiments
I’m unimportant and irrelevant
The white coats don’t care about my struggle for the cheese
I mean, who stops to listen to a lab rat’s pleas?
I’m stuck walking the maze, always running from the shocks
The turns always change, and I’m always so lost
It’s not even a game, there’s no pleasure that’s gained
They just do what they do, immune to my pain
You see the mice always pay for the scientists’ mistakes
As they fiddle around making changes to our brains
They alter DNA and infect us with disease
And at the end of the day they’re all free to leave

Chorus
I hate the life of a mouse
Constantly trying to sneak around
Always hiding, can’t make a sound
Cuz they hate a mouse

Verse 2
I’m stuck crawling through walls
Finding passage through the gaps
Trying to survive without sticking to a trap
I need to eat to live, but there’s poison in the food
So I starve if I don’t but I’m damned if I do
I chew through their wires and I hope I’m starting fires
But I can do so little before I feel so tired
I spend most my time hiding, the alternative to dying
I feel so weak, I should be fighting
But I’m so easily damaged, I pose no challenge
I’m just a minor annoyance when I’m doing my damnedest
My bones are so brittle, there is little I can do
Whenever I try something new, they are not fooled
They may scream if they see me running around freely
But they just catch me and lock in my cage with my feces
They say I’m so cute, perfect for a pet
Fuck that!
I’d rather be dead

Chorus

Verse 3
I can’t shake this funny feeling that there’s a cat at my back
Lurking in the shadows, just waiting to attack
I know I might get snatched, but I think I need a snack
You see I’m forced to act when my stomach makes demands
I have basic needs that its dangerous to meet
I’m forced to sneak just to live and to breathe
Cats and traps and hands and feet
Make it hard to exist, hard to just be
Is it worth being free?
This freedom’s so limiting
And the gains of this lifestyle seem to keep diminishing
There’s  no time for joy, just running and escaping
With death around the corner constantly waiting
I hate them!
But I can’t change this situation
I could face extermination, give in to experimentation
Or perhaps domestication, but nah, no escaping
No escaping!

Chorus

Valentine’s day is coming up, so I figured  I’d do a song about love. Really Sad Love Song is about an artist who realizes that many of the best songs aren’t about happy love. The music is made up of some of my favorite musical elements – a deep, smooth bass line, lots of keys, and a back-to-basics type hip-hop beat.

Really Sad Love Song
lyrics and music by Ahd Child

Chorus
All the great songs are love songs
Really sad love songs
For the love of my art
I broke my own heart
Now I write love songs
Really sad love songs
But I hate my art
Because it’s broken my heart

Verse 1
Our past was so perfect
That’s the reason for my tears
Remembering hurts
And pain’s not changed by years
When you would smile, I’d smile
Because your laughter was my joy
My heart would start singing
Making a joyful noise
We argued almost never
And I wanted you for forever
To love and to cherish
To appreciate and treasure
I felt lucky to have met you
And to have you love me
I thought our love would be
Eternal until infinity
But something inside of me
Took issue with my bliss
When my pen would hit paper
It would produce blank pages
I found I couldn’t write
Without despair, tears and rages
I need pain and impatience
Anger, frustration
I mean who’s heard of good art
Conceived in positive emotions
I needed to get open
To get creative juices flowing
Happiness brings a trickle
But pain makes an ocean
I had to write my poems
That’s why our hearts are broken

Chorus

Verse 2
If you look at all the greatest artists
They always had it the hardest
Their hearts were always shattered
They were emotionally battered
They were either broke and hungry
Or alone and lonely
Always leaning towards loony
Truly unstable
I was unable to achieve greatness
With you always smiling
By my side, making my spirit feel right
My step was too light
When I gazed in your eyes
Days way too bright
I needed pain to inspire
I should have known from the start to avoid happy living
But looking back in hindsight, its better that I didn’t
I had to have lived it to make my pain convincing
Now I can put it in my songs for you to feel it if you listen
It’s the ultimate sacrifice, ruined my life
My heart is so broken, I dunno how I survived
And I’d try to show you how much this pain has made me free
But I can’t do that because you won’t speak to me

Chorus

Verse 3
I remember the look on your face
When I told you I was leaving
At first when I said it, you didn’t even believe it
I told you why, but you didn’t buy my reason
And to cause you that pain
Left my heart bleeding
But it’s best that you’re gone
And I know I’m not wrong
If you really still doubt me
Listen to this song
I know you can feel it
My sadness is real,
It’s a part of each day
That I live and I breathe
This song couldn’t happen
If I was still happy
You don’t write about tears
When you spend your days laughing
I’m keeping it real to the nth degree
I feel so empty
But it’s worth every moment
It’s worth every lost kiss
Every tear that I shed
Every time I’m so lost
In feeling regret
But you’re still stuck in my head
And I might try to get you back
If you hadn’t moved on
And married another man
Damn!

Chorus

To come up with the music for Monster, I just added and removed instruments, notes, and parts until I came up with the basis of something I liked. At that point, I had to listen to it a bunch of times before lyrics started coming to me. I didn’t know what the song was about until the first verse started forming in my head.

Monster
lyrics and music by Ahd Child

Chorus
Look at that, the monster’s talking
Better run, the monster’s walking
What’s that sound, is the monster dying
That’s strange, the monster’s crying

Verse 1
He was the strongest man to walk on this planet
But he was alone, so the goods were damaged
He walked in depression with moments of manic
People saw him coming, and they started to panic
He was scary, I’ll admit that, given
But life was hard and he was just living
He’d never hurt a soul, not with intention
But life don’t always follow intentions
Lost in his sorrow, he was prone to inattention
That with strength was a bad combination
Destruction was never what he intended
But still, many lives were ended
He would’ve made amends if he’d known what he did
But he didn’t know he left a trail of death
They just assumed he was filled up with hate
Everyone in involved made many mistakes

Chorus

Verse 2
Deep down inside, he knew he caused fear
So he built a callous skin from I-don’t-cares
He could lie to himself or lie awake with his tears
He chose the lies, cuz the tears hurt more
And once you open that door
It’s opened for good
Better choices would’ve changed how this ends
He could have admitted that he needed a friend
And people could have tried to hear what he said
But past actions are locked in the past
Reflection lets you see, but won’t let you go back
So many people died when they stepped in his path
Blinded by grief, he didn’t know what he smashed
So when they attacked, he didn’t understand
It seemed to him this was unprovoked
He went wild with rage, out of control
Til his life was ended in a cloud smoke

Chorus