Many times when something really difficult happens, we have a lot of thoughts about why that thing should not have happened. These thoughts are painful and often keep us stuck in a lot of very difficult emotions. We get in a cycle of blaming others. When we can get curious and explore the thought, "nothing has gone wrong here," we can open our minds to the tender mercies and miracles that are all around us. 
 YouTube video by Brene Brown about shame:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAULTfEbe6M#:~:text=%22Blame%22%20by%20Bren%C3%A9%20Brown%20%2D,Francis%2DSears%20and%20Abi%20Stephenson