Lauren and Ben discuss the first presidential debate, and...hoo boy.

It's been a weird week for people with the last name "Perry." Plus, Nothing Matters turns 1 and we extinguish our flames with television and music (like we always do)!

Curt Schilling is trying to turn a bloody sock into a senate seat, Harambe's ghost is not pleased with your memes, and Gawker is actually dead this time. Plus, a segment we call Lauren Hockenson: Baby Name Cop!

What is a podcast? Why is the Olympics regressive? How did Hillary employ every great gay social media professional? Who needs to be pushed off a cliff before CEOs take women seriously? WHERE IS TINASHE? We answer these questions and more.

We reset the "episodes spent not talking about Donald Trump" sign to zero and hop on the Takes Scooter for an extra few minutes.

Chewbacca drives a minivan, Blake Lively drives off a cliff, someone on XOJane needs to drive into a wall, and the staff at Champagne Papi's is driving Drake c r a z y.

Blac Chyna's pregnant, Facebook's muting your racist uncle, Target's bathrooms are haunted or something, and white people continue to be white.

SHOW NOTES:

http://whitenessproject.org

http://www.teenvogue.com/story/janet-mock-un-speech

We're back! For real this time. And we're talking about all of the important things: Angela Kardashian's ascendancy, Ted Cruz's desperation, Beyoncé's triumph, and Prince's legacy.

SHOW NOTES:

https://vine.co/v/iPHvehhAa7U

https://twitter.com/ira/status/724748842227245056

We're back! The only two certainties in this 2016 American life are shitty presidential candidates and the Kardashians, so guess what we're talking about this entire episode...

Check our Twitter for Show Notes! twitter.com/nomatterscast

Music by Blake Frederick (via CC license): @blakefrederick

Artwork by Krystal Lauk: www.krystallauk.com

Pro-lifers' biggest hope turned out to be two felonious raccoons in a trenchcoat, the next Bill Cosby is a Swedish pop icon, and the low-budget Kardashians are back! Also: we need to talk about Macklemore.

Check our Twitter for Show Notes! twitter.com/nomatterscast

Music by Blake Frederick (via CC license): @blakefrederick

Artwork by Krystal Lauk: www.krystallauk.com