There’s a lot of talk about chronic absenteeism in schools and an equally troubling narrative around students who haven’t found success. Too often, the conversation narrows to just two options: lower the standards or let them fail. I strongly disagree with either of these options.
Before sharing my own thoughts, I revisited my archives to hear what my students had to say.
In Judaism, there is an obligation to “judge everyone favorably.” After listening to student recordings, I realized that one of the guiding principles in my practice is Unconditional Positive Regard—the idea that students should be accepted without judgment, which allows them to engage deeply in their learning. Ethan’s experience with his extended essay is a perfect example of this.
When he visited the library three years after graduation, he reflected on his hesitation to push beyond his comfort zone due to a fear of failure. In many of his classes, the focus had been on what he hadn’t done, which only reinforced his apprehension. However, the environment I created was different. It wasn’t about past shortcomings; it was about offering time, space, and support without judgment. This allowed Ethan to explore his potential, take risks, and ultimately enjoy the process.
As Ethan put it:"In most of my classes, it felt like the focus was on what I didn’t do, and that only made me more anxious. But in the library, it wasn’t like that. It felt safe. I could work at my own pace without worrying about being judged, and in the end, I not only finished my essay, but I actually enjoyed the process."
Ethan’s story highlights the power of Unconditional Positive Regard and the importance of judging students favorably. When educators move from being judges of past work to allies in students’ present and future success, we create the conditions for real learning and growth. This isn’t just theory—it’s a practice that can transform how students experience their education.
I want my students to develop both the skill set and the mindset to thrive in college and beyond, regardless of their prior learning experiences. When we embrace approaches like Unconditional Positive Regard, we set them up not only for academic success but for life—and give them a reason to want to come to school.
However, after virtual learning ended, the environment in which I thrived was no longer welcome. I was told that before I could even listen to students, I had to make sure they had always done every single thing right in every class. My focus on creating safe, non-judgmental spaces for learning was dismissed, replaced by an expectation of perfection from students before they could be heard. This shift goes against everything I believe about fostering student success. Instead of helping students move forward, this mindset pressures them into silence and fear.
But I won’t stop advocating for a better way—a way where students are met with understanding, support, and the belief that their current efforts, not just their past, are what matter most.
Anyone need a librarian or writing coach?
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