What is that rustling in the bushes? What goes bump in the night? What ate the last ice cream sandwich? Are we in fact living with cryptids among us? This is Vox, and you’re listening to Not Really Radio. As many of you are aware, the feature presentation of the Not Really Radio event is a radio drama called Chester Chase, Cryptid Bounty Hunter.

Understandably, some of you have wondered what exactly a cryptid is and why would there be bounty hunters associated with such a thing?

Good questions.

Simply put, the broadest definition of the word cryptid is “an animal whose existence is unsubstantiated.”

Perhaps the most well known cryptids are Bigfoot, The Loch Ness Monster, the Beaufort Street Banshee, vampires, werewolves, yetis, chupacabra, cthulu, John Cena, jackalopes, cute spiders, and there are of course rumors about entire population of Canada.

Of course the Not Really Radio Event set to take place on April 30th at 7pm at Covenant Church is treating cryptids like they’re real, even though everyone knows Canada is mostly made up.

Regardless, we’re going to have some fun with the idea.

That’s where Chester Chase comes in.

Based on stories told around a bus stop behind Jerry’s here in Tecumseh, one writer has put together a highly reliable and mostly made up profile of a bounty hunter of cryptids who is in fact a cryptid himself. I mean, it just makes sense, right? It’s the whole idea of it takes a thief to catch a thief, only with monsters. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not calling Chester Chase

Ope Hang on… one of my producers has handed me a note.

Sorry folks, it turns out the cryptid community objects to being collectively referred to as monsters. The preferred description is

Myriad Organisms Not Satisfied To Enjoy Regular Sustenance.

I for one am immediately forced to ask a question: Is Regular here defined as consistently occurring, like this podcast? Or is it defined as normal, like a glorious taco? And if it is the second option, a follow up question is demanded: What irregular sustenance is the cryptid community inclined to enjoy?

Oh, hang on, I’m getting another note…

Mostly People

So the cryptid community eats mostly people?

I feel compelled to point out the description the cryptid community insists on, Myriad Organisms Not Satisfied To Enjoy Regular Sustenance is much easier and quicker to say if we just turn it into an acronym, so M O N S T E R S

Yeah, I think that covers it. Cryptids are secret critters of varying hostility and intelligence that generally have a craving for Soylent Green.

So now we have a pretty good handle on what cryptids are and by extension I feel like that answers the question, why have a cryptid bounty hunter?

To learn more about this fascinating topic, join us on April 30th at 7pm at Covenant Church right here in beautiful Tecumseh MI. This is Vox, the voice of Not Really Radio signing off. If you don’t hear from me tomorrow, maybe call the FBCI.