It's one of the most practical and powerful tools in parenting: nurture and structure. But what does it actually look like in real life? In this episode, hosts Andy and Kelly are joined by John Cunnings, the Boys' Program Director at Eagle Ranch, who has over 20 years of experience applying this model in real homes.

John helps us understand the importance of balancing love and connection (nurture) with boundaries and rules (structure). He shares how the choice and consequence model is a fundamental tool for this, and he gives parents a step-by-step guide to implement it. Get ready for some deeply practical advice, including a "400 parenting average" analogy and the power of a simple apology.

Episode Highlights

• [03:00] John shares his background as a military kid and a single parent raising two girls.
• [05:00] Defining the essential balance of nurture and structure in parenting.
• [06:30] Introducing the choice and consequence model and its foundation in training, not control.
• [08:00] The difference between discipline and training, and how one leads to true growth.
• [12:30] How to set up a choice and consequence system in your own home in three practical steps.
• [16:00] An explanation of "porch time" and how it creates opportunities for connection and reflection.
• [26:00] The "400 parenting average" and why you only need to be right 40% of the time to have a positive impact.

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Resources Mentioned

• Book: What Happened to You? by Bruce Perry