With the season kicking off on Saturday we’re lacing up our linguistic shooting boots and taking a dive (boo!) into the language of football… or should that be soccer? Either way Gyles is ‘taking one for the team’ this week as he plays more of a ‘cheese sandwich’ to Susie’s footie ‘fanatic’. She throws nutmegs, Panenkas, and Rabonas into the ‘mixer’ whilst deftly avoiding throwing him a ‘hospital pass’. In the second half we whizz through some fascinating club nicknames from the Mackems to the Toffees via way of a remarkable story involving a monkey (supposedly) meeting a nasty end in Hartlepool… As always we answer lots of your questions (and laugh/groan at your jokes), Susie has a tantalising trio for you, and Gyles reveals how he once played matchmaker for the ultimate football playboy. A Somethin’ Else production. Susie’s trio: Flype - to roll up your socks before putting them on Sprunt - to chase girls around a haystack after dark Biffin - a deep red cooking apple.

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