Obsessive Compulsive Diaries

Hello, my name is Toby and I was recently diagnosed with OCD, ADHD and PTSD.

In today’s entry, Emotions run high as I’m struggling a little more with my mental health than usual, experiencing unhealthy and unwarranted aggravation directed toward small things.

I cover the panic attack that cause me to batter my face into a black eye and swollen cheek and how hopeless you feel when attacking yourself.

Being taken to the hospital via ambulance only for security to take my personal items and treat me as though I was some dangerous addict all the while I lay on a bed in the fetal position exhausted and terrified.

Being used by people I considered friends and turning a blind eye to the reality that it was never me they liked, but what I could do for them or what they could get from me.

Finally, realizing no one is going to swoop in and fix my life for me, this is no movie or book where everything is written to work out and it’s up to ME to fight for what I want.

There’s a lot to unwrap in this entry, but know that it’s real and happening to good people who just want help and guidance, and because of that…

I’m still recording.

Hello, my name is Toby and I was recently diagnosed with OCD, ADHD and PTSD.

In today’s Entry, I cover life shortly after the house burned and a short description of what it was like in those chaotic days and weeks that followed.

Also, living in our backyard while waiting for the verdict on the houses demolition and attempting to grab anything salvageable while thieves attempted to do the same.

My 7 foot “Brothers” who I spent my whole life being compared to and the couple different ways they died and finally, the unknown reasons for my parent’s divorce before I was born, things get interesting in this one.

I’m still recording.

Hello, my name is Toby and I was recently diagnosed with OCD, ADHD and PTSD.

In today’s entry, I go over a bit of my Marriage to Lucy and how we came to be, including the night we met and the events that followed.

I also cover how being out of tune with your partners needs, even if accidentally, can still be hurtful and when it’s time to be accountable.

Most importantly, I describe Marriage to my best friend and unlearning old processes to help better understand and grow our relationship and how we’ve come together to help better each other with love and guidance.

I love you Lovebug♥️.

….still recording?…

Hello, I’m Toby, and I was recently diagnosed with OCD, ADHD and PTSD

In today’s entry, we go over some odd tales from my past.

Like coming home from school to discover I’m homeless, long interesting walks in an old cemetery , how the normal can be scarier than than the paranormal and the art of startling yourself listening for ghosts…

Oh yeah, we get a bit weird.

…Am I recording?

Hello, I’m Toby, and I was recently diagnosed with OCD, ADHD and PTSD.

In today’s entry, I cover how my panic attacks changed in frequency and intensity, not to mention how inconvenient they could be.

Disclaimer: Some of my methods for harming myself and how rapidly it became a serious issue, but also what drove me to do it.

I also discuss some future plans for this diary and tease some upcoming stories and odd tales from my life that would seem unbelievable if others hadn’t been there.

And finally, and I still recording?

In today’s entry, my diagnosis of Moral Scrupulosity OCD, ADHD and PTSD, an insight on what that has been like pre and post diagnosis and exactly what that means for me. I reveal some of the reasoning behind my OCD and how it differs from other types, we also cover some * disclaimer* self harm in its different forms and why I did it.

In the Entries to follow, I describe my life and experiences I’ve had, some pertaining to my neurological issues and others just out of entertainment or amusement. We will laugh, cry and experience the ups and downs of what it means to be “Toby” and what I’m doing now I’ve sought help.