Odds & Ends of a Thirtysomething ADHDer

I dusted off my mic and got back to business this week. I explored themes of identity in relation to my culture, language, masking, and keeping a firm hold of who I am. 

Main themes:

• Burnout
• Feeling the need to justify my culture 
• Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 
• Masking

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This week, we're finishing chatting with Micah about the struggles of our ADHD journies and how we make the day-to-day work. 

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I have a new guest with me today, a best friend of mine, to chat about seeking ADHD diagnosis, finding purpose, and laughing in the face of sadness. I'll be splitting this one up for time purposes. 

Main themes:

• Seeking an official diagnosis 
• Undiagnosed ADHD and what it looks like 
• Striving for the all-or-nothing 

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Today is all about reflecting on how ADHD appeared before I knew what it was and the ways it caused me grief as I tried to understand why it was so hard to do what I was asked to do. I also reflected on how struggling to meet that "enough" label stood in the way of me finding my ADHD diagnosis, coming to terms with anxiety and depression, as well as how feeling like I had to be "all or nothing" when it came to figuring out my sexuality. 

Main theme: 

• ADHD and production struggles/expectations
• Timeliness issues 
• Questioning sexuality 
• Acceptance 

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There is no main through-line this week, just an emptying of my busy brain. 

Main themes: 

• Working to live, not living to work 
• Travel
• Unrelated ideas 
• Waiting mode

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Today, I talk about burnout and coming out of the darkness to find the light. Also, I discuss the importance of showing up for the people you care about. 

Main themes: 

• Learning how to slow down 
• Giving yourself grace
• Sometimes just being there is the best you can do for others 

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We have our first guest this week! Noah, my fellow ADHDer and husband, joined me for discussions about our struggles with academics and organization, imaginations, and how we have tackled ADHD challenges in our adult lives. 

Main topics:

• Focus issues in school 
• Pulling attention 
• Socialization 
• Challenges in adult life 

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Let's talk about safety as a woman and what can happen after trauma. Big trigger warning this week involving assault, abuse, and shame after experiencing these things. 

Main topics:

• Masking
• Shame in reporting 
• Assault in a romantic relationship 
• Increased occurences of abuse/assualt in vulnerable populations 
• Thoughts of self-harm

Resources: 

World Health Organization regarding violence against women

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/violence-against-women

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233; https://www.thehotline.org/

Suicide & Crisis Hotline: Dial 988; https://988lifeline.org/

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As the great Barbie asked... "have you guys ever thought about death?" Me either... I've done a little checking in with myself being surrounded by anticipatory grief lately and wanted to unravel a little bit of the loose thread in my head. 

Main themes:

• Aging parents
• Shifting lifestyle after loss
• Finding ways to carry on positive memories while giving grief space

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Today, I discussed what nostalgia pops up when I visit my hometown, grief about friendships past, and a nice dose of anxiety symptoms to tie it all together. 

Main topics: 

• Losing and adapting the feeling of home
• Spoon theory 
• Control versus non-control
• Anxiety symptoms
• Chronic illness 
• How to actually perform "self-care"

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