We’ve all dealt with difficult people before and are likely to again. Maybe we’ve also been “difficult” ourselves? Mediator and former middle school math and STEM teacher Huck Wilken talks with Joyce about dealing with difficult people. A lot of conflict starts with miscommunication. Huck explains that managing our own emotional response is the first step in dealing with difficult people in conflict situations. Dealing with difficult people requires a steady presence, neither being defensive nor offensive. The next step is to listen authentically; everyone, including a difficult person, wants their truth to be heard. And we need to speak our truth so that we’re heard as well. Joyce and Huck also talk about meditation a little bit, emphasizing that mediation places the emphasis on difficult situations, not difficult people.

Resources:

Learn more about the OEA Mediation Network 

20 Expert Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People - Psychology Today

In week 4, Joyce chats with MaryJean Harris Williams, PhD about conflict management styles. MaryJean teaches Communication Studies at Clackamas Community College. MaryJean recognizes that most people don’t like conflict and have different styles of dealing with conflict. Joyce and MaryJean help us understand the five main conflict management styles: avoiding, accommodating, competing, compromise, and collaboration. Most people prefer one of these conflict management styles over the others. MaryJean explains, using great situational examples, how some of the styles can be useful in certain situations and unhelpful in other situations. She also acknowledges that it’s healthy to develop different conflict styles for different purposes but also encourages us to accept our own preferred communication style. And she gives some advice for how to navigate conflict with others who present with one of these particular communication styles. Arriving at a collaborative solution, using the collaboration style, requires trust and patience but is the “gold star” of conflict resolution. 

Resources: 

Conflict Response Styles: A Visual - Joyce Rosenau and MaryJean Harris Williams

Learn more about the OEA Mediation Network

Joyce’s guest in this episode is Suzi Spencer, alternative high school teacher in Salem. Collaborative problem solving has been used in Suzi’s school for the last few years. Suzi defines collaborative problem solving as a situation where all involved parties are asked for their perspective, all perspectives are honored, and the parties come up with solutions together. Collaborative problem solving is proactive instead of reactive and in a school setting, seeks to avoid punishment. It can also be used in adult relationships, as it works with all ages. Suzi describes the three steps involved: empathy, define the problem, and invitation. This last step is where the parties generate realistic solutions together. Suzi also explains the power of focusing on the problem, not the person.

Resources: 

The Explosive Child - Dr. Ross Greene

Lost at School - Dr. Ross Greene

Learn more about the OEA Mediation Network

The Conflict Resolution season kicks off with a discussion about the liberating potential of conscious listening. Joyce chats with OEA member Brinda Narayan-Wold, School Counselor at Kelly Middle School in Eugene, and mediator with the OEA Mediation Network. Joyce and Brenda emphasize that conflict resolution strategies, like conscious listening, can be used in both our professional and personal lives. Conscious listening starts with creating a safe space for conflict resolution. Brinda explains that conscious listening is paying attention both to what is said and not said, including body language. Open-ended questions can be another powerful tool  to get to the root of an issue. For example, often when we see signs of our students suffering, we can use open-ended questions to build trust and soothe the situation. Brinda also describes how silence, summarizing, validating, and empathizing are used in effective conscious listening. 

Resources:

Learn more about the OEA Mediation Network

Welcome to season two of the OEA Grow Podcast, a member-led production of the Oregon Education Association. In season two we will be discussing Conflict Resolution Strategies. The host, Joyce Rosenau, and all guests of this season are members of the OEA Mediation Network- a conflict resolution service for OEA members started in 2019.  Some of the episode topics will include: the neuroscience of conflict, conflict response styles, and collaborative problem solving. 

To learn more about the OEA Mediation Network and ways to access this service, please visit oregoned.org/mediation. 

Don’t forget to head over to grow.oregoned.org to stay up to date on all the professional learning opportunities available through OEA.

As we get ready for the launch of season two next week on Safe, Welcoming, and Inclusive Schools, season one concludes with a wellness discussion focused on students. Sara Roadman, first grade teacher in Eugene, has been practicing mindfulness with students since 2019. She uses many different mindfulness strategies including eyebreaks, noticing what’s around you, yoga, one-minute guided meditations, affirmation meditations, and breathing exercises. By adding these strategies to the daily routine, students have grown to be very comfortable with mindfulness. Most of her students know 10 yoga poses! Sara also discusses the power of appreciation circles where students simply make eye contact with other students and appreciate the opportunity to be in in-person school; some of her young students haven’t been in face-to-face school since preschool. Sara has also found that these mindfulness techniques help kids with Covid-related worries and anxieties that are unique to today’s students.

Resources:

4 Ways to Cultivate Mindfulness in the Classroom (video) - edutopia

A Mindful Minute Helps Students Arrive in the Classroom (video) - Mindful Schools

Best Practices for Bringing Mindfulness into Schools - mindful

Integrating Mindfulness in Your Classroom Curriculum - edutopia

The Mindful Schools Podcast

Episode 9

Is a connection to nature important? What’s the value of that connection? OEA member guest Jacob Patterson (Benson High School) talks with Jesse about his connection to nature and its ability to be restorative. Spending time in nature can help us disconnect from our phones, email, and worrying about the past or the future by helping us connect to the now. For example, noticing the wind, or a bird, can help us stay grounded in the present. Nature can also be a place where you can “be” instead of “do”. Jacob and Jesse also discuss the power of Oregon rivers and the many opportunities to enjoy rivers across the state. The river ecosystem can remind us that everything is connected. For those new to enjoying nature, Jacob recommends starting with a walk, if you’re able, in a space that feels good to you. 

Resources:

Rivers and Streams - Travel Oregon

Oregon’s 6 Essential Rivers - PDX Monthly

Shinrin-Yoku (Forest Bathing) and Nature Therapy: A State-of-the-Art Review - International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health

Walking Your Blues Away: How to Heal the Mind and Create Emotional Well-Being - Thom Hartmann

Nature-Based Mindfulness for More Calm & Peaceful Kids - NAEYC

Work-life balance, is it possible? Does it exist for educators? Eighth grade language arts teacher Ryan Roach talks with OEA Grow host Jesse about what work-life balance means to him. For Ryan, it’s not only the traditional sense of work-life balance, but more about making a decision about what to attend to in each moment. For example, staying in the present moment whether you’re in the classroom, at home with family, spending time in nature, or exercising. It’s also about valuing our work as educators, as family members, and as humans, and recognizing that our value and our students’ value is not in being perfect. We can strive to accept that no educator can solve all of the problems they see, but instead, approach our jobs in a more healthy, realistic, and contented way. 

Resources:

A New Way to Think about Work-Life Balance - Edutopia

How to be More Present in Relationships - Psychology Today

Stepping off the Scale: Rethinking the Idea of Work-Life Balance - Resilient Educator

How to Harness Imperfection as a Teacher - Teach for Australia

Being Okay with Imperfection in My First Months of Teaching - Knowles Teacher Initiative

Episode 7

In this episode about mental health and suicide awareness*, middle school teacher Katherine Baggett shares her personal and professional story as a trauma informed educator. Katherine teaches students in a social emotional behavioral classroom. Most of her students have been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and have also experienced significant trauma including houselessness. She knows firsthand the power of one person to help a student through trauma and she draws on her own experiences as she strives to be that person for her students. Jesse and Katherine talk about the need to normalize mental health, including talking about mental illness and suicidal ideation; reducing shame around these topics saves lives. If you’re struggling with suicidal ideation, keep asking for help and keep looking for someone who will listen to you. It’s possible to heal from trauma and possible to come through on the other side of suicidal ideation. This is an episode about hope. 

*Trigger warning: This episode discusses suicide.

Take care with these resources:

Lines for Life: 24/7 free, confidential, anonymous help. 1-800-273-8255

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: resources and support

Oregon Health Authority Behavioral Health Services

OEA’s Becoming a Trauma Informed Educator  4-part series

OEA recorded webinars on core interventions for trauma, co-regulation, and self-care (OEA members only)

School counselor Sakura Hamada shares her story of immigration to the United States as a fourth-grade student and explains how she applies her resilience to her life as an educator in our sixth episode. Sakura moved from Japan to the U.S. as a nine year-old. She only knew a few words in English. Through both her childhood and adult experiences, she believes the key to resilience is staying true to yourself. This includes the ability to know when to take a break, when to say “no”, and when to ask for help. Sakura models that authenticity with her students. She’s also an inspiration to them by modeling her life experience of learning English, going to college, and getting her Master’s degree. In her work as a counselor, Sakura enjoys providing a safe space for students. She also knows firsthand the power of getting to know students and seeing each student as an individual. 

Learn more with these resources:

Onward: Cultivating Emotional Resilience downloadable tools and resources

Start Here Start Now. A guide to antibias and antiracist work in your community by Liz Kleinrock

Teach and Transform Recommended Resources

Mood Meter app