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Off To College! - Four things we learned about sending kids off to college over 11 years and hundreds of kids
Three Things I Learned in Saas, Sports, Tech and Live Events:
Sending kids off to college week! Who we are in the transitions - maybe the most important crossroads of our lives.
One of the greatest pleasures of my life was volunteering with high school kids for 11 years. I got to know them and watch the grow through HS and had a front-row seat while they transitioned into a new life.
Here are the four things I learned about sending a kid to college and how we can apply them to our lives.
1) "Who we are is most important in the transitions" Some of the best advice I've ever heard from a guest speaker: Life is about the transitions. From high school to university, school to the working world, single to married, married to parent, parent to parent of an adult and on and on. Many people get lost in the transitions. They are hard, they are unfamiliar, and they usually come with grief for the last stage which can sometimes last quite awhile. So many people get stuck in place, make bad decisions which will follow them for years, or lose months in the transitions. Mind blowing advice - true for us all. It is most important we know who we are in the transitions. Off to college is the first major transition for most kids. It is a huge change.
2) Water finds its level, but we have to give it time. Some kids find "their best friends" right away. Others feel left out for months. Neither end of the spectrum is good. Who your kids spend time with in the first few months very rarely become their lifelong friends. Remind them jr high and high school were no different by recalling how their besties and groups changed along the way. Give concrete examples. This doesn't change later in life. New job, new social group, new neighborhood, new industry...same advice. Be yourself and give it time. You'll find your level.
3) Set boundaries on the boomerangs. Many kids have trouble with the transition and go home too often. Others have parents who are way too involved. Come home for holidays and occasionally for dinner. Not for whole weekends on the reg...yes, even if there's a high school sweetheart. See #1: We skip this step we risk getting stuck
4) Half the kids will decide, at one point or another, they want to leave or transfer freshman year. Sounds high, I know. But trust me - it's even the ones you don't expect who seem so happy. Big transitions are a lot for anyone. Even the "starting QB" the "valedictorian" and the "homecoming queen." Help them understand how common this feeling is and encourage them to stick it out if the situation is healthy. Also encourage the parents who are usually very worried when it happens. The best advice we can give them: "It doesn't get better. But you do."
To those who are dropping kids off - congratulations! Parenting is the hardest job in the world and you nailed it! Enjoy the season of change for them, and for you, with curiosity and excitement!
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By Tony Knopp
5
11 ratings
Three Things I Learned in Saas, Sports, Tech and Live Events:
Sending kids off to college week! Who we are in the transitions - maybe the most important crossroads of our lives.
One of the greatest pleasures of my life was volunteering with high school kids for 11 years. I got to know them and watch the grow through HS and had a front-row seat while they transitioned into a new life.
Here are the four things I learned about sending a kid to college and how we can apply them to our lives.
1) "Who we are is most important in the transitions" Some of the best advice I've ever heard from a guest speaker: Life is about the transitions. From high school to university, school to the working world, single to married, married to parent, parent to parent of an adult and on and on. Many people get lost in the transitions. They are hard, they are unfamiliar, and they usually come with grief for the last stage which can sometimes last quite awhile. So many people get stuck in place, make bad decisions which will follow them for years, or lose months in the transitions. Mind blowing advice - true for us all. It is most important we know who we are in the transitions. Off to college is the first major transition for most kids. It is a huge change.
2) Water finds its level, but we have to give it time. Some kids find "their best friends" right away. Others feel left out for months. Neither end of the spectrum is good. Who your kids spend time with in the first few months very rarely become their lifelong friends. Remind them jr high and high school were no different by recalling how their besties and groups changed along the way. Give concrete examples. This doesn't change later in life. New job, new social group, new neighborhood, new industry...same advice. Be yourself and give it time. You'll find your level.
3) Set boundaries on the boomerangs. Many kids have trouble with the transition and go home too often. Others have parents who are way too involved. Come home for holidays and occasionally for dinner. Not for whole weekends on the reg...yes, even if there's a high school sweetheart. See #1: We skip this step we risk getting stuck
4) Half the kids will decide, at one point or another, they want to leave or transfer freshman year. Sounds high, I know. But trust me - it's even the ones you don't expect who seem so happy. Big transitions are a lot for anyone. Even the "starting QB" the "valedictorian" and the "homecoming queen." Help them understand how common this feeling is and encourage them to stick it out if the situation is healthy. Also encourage the parents who are usually very worried when it happens. The best advice we can give them: "It doesn't get better. But you do."
To those who are dropping kids off - congratulations! Parenting is the hardest job in the world and you nailed it! Enjoy the season of change for them, and for you, with curiosity and excitement!