Britain After Dark: the weird, the overlooked, and the frankly cursed corners of UK life.

Two millennials shine a torch into the bits of British life that don't make the tourism adverts. This week: petty thefts and the noble tradition of impersonating a police officer, before we pull into a dimly lit layby to give dogging the serious cultural analysis it's long been denied. From there it only gets stranger - vampires, witches and our grand unified theory that nightclubs shutting and gyms opening are the same phenomenon in a hi-vis vest, with millennials leading the march from the dancefloor to the deadlift.

We also pick up some mysterious shipping forecast signals and hold our salmon suspiciously, because nothing says "this island is cursed" quite like the things we do after sunset.

If in doubt, flat out. Torches at the ready.