Episode 692: People pleasers and all people listen up!
Surprisingly, boundaries don't push people away, they actually strengthen connection. Dr. Alison Ash returns to unpack sexual boundaries, especially for those who struggle to say no.
Boundaries aren't just about your values; they're about your capacity, the fluctuating energy and resources available to you based on sleep, stress, and nervous system regulation. When you're dysregulated and operating outside your window of tolerance, you become reactive and frustrated. (Most of us consistently overestimate what we can handle.)
Dr. Aly shares a practical three-part formula for setting boundaries that helps others feel heard rather than rejected.
Key Takeaways:

• Boundaries aren't selfish, they're based on your actual capacity, which fluctuates daily based on sleep, stress, and nervous system regulation, making them a realistic necessity rather than a character flaw.
• The "window of tolerance" explains why you get reactive. When dysregulated, you become irritable and struggle to enforce boundaries, so managing your nervous system is as important as stating your limits.
• Healthy boundaries actually filter out unhealthy relationships, meaning people who respect your "no" strengthen the relationship, while those who don't reveal incompatibility, not rejection of them as people.

Discussion topics;

• Sexuality, sexual health, sexual wellness, relationships, mental health
• Understanding Your Capacity and Setting/maintaining Healthy Boundaries without guilt and while maintaining connection
•  Feeling Safe Saying No Builds Trust
• Understanding Trauma and Nervous System Dysregulation
• Managing Trauma Response Through Nervous System Care
• Communication and Pacing in Exploring Kink
• Substance Use and Consent in Sexual Exploration
• Learning From Past Experiences and Building Intimacy Skills
• Sex Gets Better With Age and Confidence

Dr. Aly: Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills online course on Tues, Jan 27th-Mar 17th http://www.turnon.love/

We all receive messages about who we are supposed to be, how we ought to feel, and how we should express ourselves, often enforced through shame and disconnection. Featuring 8 classes with a woven balance of science-based data, embodied exploration, and skills development designed to support you in creating, deepening, and sustaining sexual and emotional intimacy in your relationship(s). Recordings available for those who can't attend live or want extra review. Super early bird tickets available now for $200-$400 off!Dr. Alison Ash, aka Dr. Aly, is a trauma-informed intimacy coach and educator, Stanford University Lecturer, author, and founder of TurnON.love. As a sociologist with a PhD from Stanford, she has a comprehensive understanding of the complex societal challenges that often lead to unsatisfying and disempowering intimate experiences. She has helped pioneer research into the orgasm gap and has written on topics ranging from pleasure in heterosexual dynamics to queer and trans identities and experiences. She also draws on her extensive training in  Hakomi Mindful Somatic Psychotherapy, Innate Somatic Intelligence Trauma Therapy Approach, and Somatica Method of sex and intimacy coaching to support her clients to radically explore and courageously express themselves. Dr. Aly designs workshops, courses, and retreats and offers individuals and couples coaching to give others the tools to be able to cultivate and sustain nourishing emotional and sexual intimacy.

Black Friday Deals on Books:

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Ep 687: Tune in for a fantasy immersion experience...
Fantasies are yours alone, and that's exactly how they should be. Explore the deeply personal nature of our inner worlds in this episode, reminding us that what happens in our imagination requires no permission from anyone. Ruan makes it clear that fantasies—even unconventional or dark ones—are harmless mental experiences that belong entirely to you.
Throughout the episode, Willow emphasizes pleasure as a birthright. (Because really, who gets to decide what brings you joy?) She guides listeners to resist shame and guilt, recognizing that these mental scenarios can be revisited, changed, or completely abandoned whenever you choose. But here's the key distinction she draws: while fantasies need no consent, real-life activities absolutely do.
How often do we forget that our imagination can be a legitimate form of self care? The episode frames mental pleasure-seeking as both valid relaxation and personal wellness. Willow encourages embracing what feels good without judgment, essentially giving permission to explore your own mind freely. It's about claiming your inner space, about recognizing that your thoughts are truly your own domain.
**Ready to reclaim your imagination?** Tune in to discover why your fantasy life deserves zero apologies and why you deserve emotional release that celebrates your self worth.

Estimated Timeline: 

00:00:00 - Welcome to Ruan Willow Podcast
00:02:08 - Relaxation and Fantasy Preparation Guide
00:03:41 - Creating Intimate Fantasy and Connection
00:05:06 - Intimate Physical Connection and Arousal
00:07:36 - Intimate Sensory Experience and Fantasy
00:08:41 - Intimate Physical Connection, intimacy, sexuality
00:10:21 - Multiple Orgasms and Pleasure Building
00:11:33 - Using Pleasure Toys Together
00:12:42 - Fantasies, Pleasure, and Consent
00:14:48 - Embrace Your Right to Daily Pleasure
00:15:21 - Pleasure is Your Birthright, self help and relationships

Beach House Views on Theo Reads:  https://www.theoreads.com/story/71ba59ce-badd-4472-90af-b2d324c6a332/view

Preorder: https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/beachhouseviewsbook

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Ep 689:  Dive into the world of hot spicy monster romance with Ruan Willow and special guest Cassandra Medcalf, a talented author and audiobook narrator. In this episode, they explore the intricacies of writing romance, the allure of monsters, and the creative process behind bringing characters to life. Cassandra reads an excerpt from "The Kraken's Castaway". 

Her book is a cozy yet steamy monster romance that intertwines with Greek mythology and explores themes of love, vulnerability, and acceptance.

Discover how Cassandra's characters navigate the challenges of their unique worlds in "Milking the Minotaur", including a human mother and her Minotaur son, and how their intertwined fates lead to unexpected connections. 

Ruan and Cassandra discuss the importance of representation in romance, the evolution of indie publishing, and the joy of creating stories that resonate with readers.

This episode highlights the beauty of storytelling and the importance of community in the creative process. Whether you're a fan of romance, fantasy, or simply love a good story, listen and enjoy!

Key Highlights:
• Cassandra's journey as a romance author and audiobook narrator
• Insights into the world of monster romance and its appeal
• The creative process behind "Milking with a Minotaur" and its connection to Greek mythology
• The importance of representation and diversity in storytelling
• The evolving landscape of indie publishing and the power of community
**Want to support Cassandra's Kickstarter for Milking with a Minotaur?** Check out the link below for more information!

Estimated Timeline: 
00:00:00 - Welcome and Introduction
00:01:45 - Meet Cassandra Metcalfe
00:04:30 - Excerpt Reading from "The Kraken 's Castaway"

00:10:15 - The Appeal of Monster Romance
00:15:00 - Writing and Narrating: A Dual Journey
00:20:00 - Representation in Romance
00:25:00 - Indie Publishing Insights
00:30:00 - Closing Thoughts and Support Links
Connect with Cassandra: http://cassandramedcalf.com/
Kickstarter: Milking with a Minotaur, Kickstarter link below.

Topics:

• Narration
• Indie Authors
• Writing Process
• Character Development
• Romance Tropes
• Spicy Storytelling
• Creative Community
• Kickstarter
• Sexual Expression
• Monster Romance

Books:

(affiliate links)

The Kraken's Castaway https://amzn.to/3M2BD5i

Bride of the Kraken: An MFFM Dark Monster Romance https://amzn.to/4oFRpSj

Milking the Minotaur, coming soon!

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/892606232/milking-with-the-minotaur-a-minotaur-romance-prequel?ref=bf2nxu

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Ep 686: You've heard about taking hormones, the dangers, the nice juicy bump to libido, but what it there's more to it than just that? Should You Take Testosterone or Estrogen? Find out from Dr Nayan Patel, a clinical pharmacist, & educator.

Is it bad to take hormones? Beyond Bad Hormones: Why Bioidentical Therapy and Lifestyle Matter More Than You Think for not only libido and healthy sex organs, but brain health, heart health, AND for bone health. Sounds like the fountain of youth for healthy, happy longevity. What if it's a piece of the puzzle?

What if the pharmaceutical industry's lack of profit incentive has left a massive gap in modern wellness?
Dr. Nayan Patel, author of "The Glutathione Revolution," reveals why hormone replacement therapy got such a bad reputation in the first place. (Spoiler: it's all about synthetic versus bioidentical hormones.) Here's the thing—early hormone studies showed adverse effects in only two percent of participants, but pharmaceutical companies never bothered studying bioidentical human hormones because the profit potential was too limited. That decision continues to impact millions of people today.

Dr. Patel, "The bulk of the solution is in your own hand."

Interestingly, Dr. Patel breaks down hormone health using a pyramid model where *stress management* accounts for 40% of solutions, diet and insulin management comprises 30%, thyroid function 10%, and sex hormones only 10%. Most practitioners miss the fundamental issues at the pyramid's foundation, focusing instead on prescribing hormones without addressing underlying stress and dietary behaviors. In fact, a nine-year French study of 3,100 women demonstrated that balanced hormone replacement therapy can reduce breast cancer risk below that of women with no risk factors.
As we've doubled our lifespan beyond our biological design for procreation, proper hormonal health becomes essential to enjoying this extended life.

Key Takeaways:

• **The hormone crisis wasn't about hormones themselves, but outdated synthetic formulations** — poor HRT outcomes stemmed from non-bioidentical hormones, not inherent hormone harm, making modern bioidentical approaches fundamentally different
• **Hormones rank lower than lifestyle factors in treatment hierarchy** — stress management and nutrition are more foundational to health than hormone supplementation, making them the true priorities
• **Hormonal optimization requires holistic integration, not just prescriptions** — effective treatment demands individualized approaches combining emotional connection, gratitude practices, and self-care alongside any hormonal intervention

Connect with Dr. Patel:

http://aurowellness.com/

Book: The Glutathione Revolution (affiliate link) https://amzn.to/3LpgNgt

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Ep 681: **When Early Retirement Led to Unexpected Career Success in Adult Entertainment** Dante, the CEO & the head of Red Bottom Productions, shares his intriguing and amazing story here!
What happens when you retire at 33, get bored, and accidentally stumble into founding a multi-brand entertainment empire? Dante, owner of Red Bottom Productions, shares his fascinating pivot from executive protection services to adult film production in this candid conversation.
After selling his business and achieving financial independence, Dante discovered that early retirement wasn't the paradise he expected—social isolation and restlessness led him down an unexpected path. What began as helping friends film OnlyFans content evolved into running his own entertainment company covering various genres and fetishes.
Beyond the business journey, Dante opens up about challenging societal taboos around sexuality, the professional standards and extensive consent processes in adult entertainment, and how his industry mirrors Hollywood's casting and production methods. He addresses common misconceptions about performer autonomy and the stark difference between fantasy entertainment and real intimacy.
The conversation also explores his current lifestyle philosophy of prioritizing travel and experiences over traditional work structures, especially after a health scare that reinforced the importance of creating memories while healthy. From budgeting tips to breaking down stigmas, this episode offers a surprisingly thoughtful perspective on entrepreneurship, personal freedom, and redefining success.

Topics:

• Introduction to Red Bottom Productions
• Making Sacrifices to Afford Things
• Breaking Stigmas Around Adult Entertainment
• Adult Industry Workers Are Regular People
• Adult Industry: Choice, Investment, and Reality
• Filming Preferences vs Fan Reactions
• Supporting Talent and Building Community
•  Fifty Shades Changed Everything
• Industry Testing and Safety Standards
• Knowing Your Status and Industry Acceptance
• Finding Red Bottom Productions Online
• Can't Watch My Own Work

Key Takeaways: 

• **Financial freedom alone doesn't solve social isolation** - Despite achieving early retirement at 33 through a successful business sale, Dante discovered that having money didn't address his underlying feelings of boredom and social disconnection.
• **Adult entertainment production involves extensive professional protocols** - The industry operates with rigorous consent processes and professional standards comparable to mainstream Hollywood productions, contradicting common assumptions about it being informal or exploitative.
• **Career pivots can emerge from unexpected opportunities** - Dante's transition from executive protection services to adult entertainment began simply by helping friends film content, demonstrating how major career changes can evolve organically from casual favor

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Season 5, Episode 697: Paranormal romance, Witches, witchy romance (she's a horny one, but so is Carson!), it's a fantasy romance, a Halloween erotic fiction with fall vibes.

The Arousal Package: A Spicy Romance Open Door NSFW Short story audiobook, by Ruan Willow.

Sometimes the best surprises are the ones we almost run from.

Carson is infatuated with his mega sexy neighbor, but he's rendered mute and dumb in her presence. He can't seem to muster the guts to ask her out. He needs help. To assist him in the seduction of her, he seeks a session with a seer witch who promises a love connection spell to fix her heartbroken, but failing at love, clients. Carson is desperate for her help, but things jack knife in a whole different direction when he gets more than he expected as the meeting ends. When magic also means pleasure, getting what he came for transforms into something magical!

This is a short romance story, a Halloween themed romance fall vibes, a fall themed romance with a strong FMC. An erotic romance fiction short story to enjoy and satisfy your spooky seductive desires.

Subscribe for the full story, or buy it here for $0.99 cents: https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/thearousalpackage

Coming very soon also in audiobook. Try Audible for $0.99/month for first 3 months at this affiliate link https://amzn.to/4qlR6gE

Get the full story also by subscribing to my Patreon or Substack (it will be appearing there this week).

Other Halloween erotic fiction, The Femdom Coven, get the spicy erotica erotic romance anthology book https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/thefemdomcoven

Have a spicy spooky sexy Halloween!

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Copyright 2025 Pink Infinity Publishing LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Episode 682: Open door, NSFW Fiction. Marissa and Humphrey are dressed up in costumes to go on a Halloween haunted hayride and trail, but Humprey has a surprise for his girlfriend. They enjoy all the jump scares and the getting close to each other, cozying up close to get away from the scary monsters! As they progress to the secret spot, Humphrey guides his lover into a dark spot for some sexy fun!

This Haunted Hayride Sex Surprise is an Erotic Improv, like storytelling of a sex story around a bonfire. Imagine you are sitting around a warm bonfire in the dark, cool night, but cozying up to the warmth of the fire as you listen to me spin a tale. Back in the day when stories were only verbal, things like storytelling around bonfires would happen. A spooky tale, but with sex in it is what you will get in this Halloween erotic fiction story. I literally created this story right off the top of my head as I recorded it, I didn't have it written...it was live creation!

Book Deals: 

$0.99 cents books: https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/ninetyninecentsbookssales

Romance Book Blast link (ONLY free on 10/28/2025) https://www.romancebooklovers.com/ 

John Gives His Wife Hot Adventures (ONLY FREE on 10/28/25) https://mybook.to/johngiveshiswifehotadv
The Arousal Package ARC Copy on BookSirens https://booksirens.com/book/EFAMSX6/G9K0WRK 

Get the book for $0.99 cents at https://payhip.com/b/Jybjs

 Try Audible for $0.99/month for first 3 months at this affiliate link https://amzn.to/4qlR6gE

Wicked and Spicy on sale for Halloween on online sellers for ebook and audiobook: A short Halloween Sale $0.99 cents on Spotify and Barnes and Noble $0.99 cents or FREE with subscription
It’s on sale for $0.99 cents on Chirp ttps://www.chirpbooks.com/audiobooks/wicked-spicy-tales-by-ruan-willow and https://open.spotify.com/show/1GyEDeUbZc0hOnq4O7UDBg

ON SALE THROUGH HALLOWEEN erotic, horror erotica, fantasy spicy romance: Wicked & Spicy on Ruan's site:

https://payhip.com/b/sT8iP

https://payhip.com/b/n8pNH

Halloween erotic fiction, THE FEMDOM COVEN EROTIC ANTHOLOGY: https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/thefemdomcoven

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Copyright 2025 Pink Infinity Publishing LLC All Rights Reserved.

Episode 673: Enjoy a Sensual Sexual Ride Through Ruan's Brain with Erotic Improv as she reads and improvs in her monologue recording. The sensuality and eroticism are on overload with steamy spicy scenes, ASMR sounds, and immersion narration that will undulate your brain through waves of pleasure and braingasm. Romance and sex collide with sensuality in the little, short erotic snippets and scenes. Pleasure is your birthright as are the natural highs your body makes as you climax. It's your baby, take it! It belongs to you!

Enjoy this luxurious immersion into sensuality with the focuses of:

• sexuality, 
• health and fitness, 
• sexual health, 
• mental health, 
• mental wellness, 
• relationships, 
• self care, 
• self discovery, 
• personal growth, 
• pleasure, healing, 
• self love
• erotic romance fiction short stories, microfiction shorts

Ruan's books mentioned in the episode:

1. Beach House Views (thriller, erotic romance, diverse characters, suspense, dark romance) on Theo Reads, read chapter 1 for free! https://www.theoreads.com/story/71ba59ce-badd-4472-90af-b2d324c6a332/view
2. John Gives His Wife Hot Adventures, hotwife Vixen, Stag dominant man, swingers, throuple, sex date, age gap, reverse age gap https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/johngiveshiswifehotadventures

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Oh F*ck Yeah with Ruan Willow: Quick Reference of episode topics: Sexuality, Sensuality, Intimacy, Health Issues, Sexual Health, Body Positivity, Midlife Women, Onlyfans, Bbw Porn, Personal Empowerment, Hormonal Health, Menopause, Podcasting, Women In Porn, Self-Discovery, Sexual Exploration, Erotic Content Creation, Sex Work, Confidence, Intimate Personal Stories from Carissma DeLuca including her pregnancy stories of being pregnant with twins, her life as a mom, her triumphs and successes...including her history of abuse and overcoming it, her hardships, her podcast, and her vision for her future.

Season 5, Episode 678 Summary: When harnessing your midlife sexuality becomes your superpower! Join in to listen and to find more about Carissma DeLuca, Rizzi's, juicy journey into sexual and sensual empowerment where she's made a career for herself in creating content, films, and a podcast!

 Quotes from Carissma Deluca:
"I feel like I've always been the glue in every situation."
"What better way to like be body positive than to get into plus size porn, right?"
"I try and create stuff that like couples would enjoy together."
"You either are going to jump on the train and ride this motherfucker till it's dead, or you're going to have to back out."
"I just want to set the bar."

Summary: Ruan Willow sits down with the vibrant Carissma DeLuca, a multi-talented creator who dives deep into the realms of sexuality, intimacy, and the transformative power of embracing one’s desires. She shares her unexpected journey into the world of the adult films entertainment, revealing how her personal experiences shaped her perspective on body positivity and self-acceptance.
From navigating a challenging relationship during the pandemic to discovering her passion for OnlyFans and adult films, Carissma's story is one of resilience and empowerment. She discusses the importance of representation in the adult industry, emphasizing the need for body positivity and inclusivity. As they explore the intricacies of sexuality, Ruan and Charisma tackle topics such as the impact of aging on desire, hormones, the liberation that comes with self-discovery, and the unique challenges faced by women in midlife.
Throughout the episode, listeners will be treated to a candid conversation about the realities of working in adult entertainment, the importance of consent and communication in sexual relationships, and the joy of finding one’s voice in a world that often seeks to silence it. 

Key Takeaways:
- Carissma’s journey from a traditional life to embracing her sexuality and body positivity.
- The significance of representation in adult entertainment and its impact on viewers.
- Insights into the changing dynamics of desire and libido as women age.
- The importance of consent, communication, and safety in sexual relationships.
Join Ruan and Charisma for an enlightening discussion that encourages listeners to explore their own sexual journeys and embrace their true selves. This episode is a celebration of empowerment, connection, and the beauty of being unapologetically you.

Connect with Carissma: https://linktr.ee/carissmadelucaVideo store:

 www.carissmadeluca.com

Women and HRT:
Women doctors to follow on Instagram about perimenopause: kellycaspersonmd, drrachelrubin, drsexandsperm

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This podcast is a part of PodNation Media.

Oh F*ck Yeah with Ruan Willow Podcast Author Interview Series.

Ep 675: Why Choose Shifters and Heat Ratings Author Imogen Knowed on Writing Cozy Sweet Spicy Romance. **You can watch the video version on YouTube at Ruan Willow Podcaster. There is NO excerpt in the YouTube version, please visit podcast apps to get the excerpt. The excerpt is from "Whispers, Whiskers, and Wine" and is at the first part of this episode.

Romance Author Imogen Knowed Reveals the Secrets Behind Writing Polyamorous "Why Choose" Stories.
Ever wondered how authors craft realistic polyamorous romance without relying on supernatural shortcuts? Romance author Imogen Knowed pulls back the curtain on her unique approach to "why choose" stories and shifter romances, explaining why she ditched the fated-mate trope for something far more complex.
In this candid conversation with host Ruan Willow, Imogen discusses her latest works including **Whispers, Whiskers and Wine** and the upcoming **Dates and Dead Bodies**—a cozy murder mystery that blends polyamorous romance with small-town intrigue. She opens up about the challenges of marketing "spicy" romance when platforms suppress erotic content, the wildly subjective nature of heat ratings, and her meticulous research into polyamory to create authentic relationship dynamics.
From her recursive drafting process to using a "naughty words" thesaurus, Imogen shares the nitty-gritty details of crafting explicit scenes while balancing entertainment with subtle education. She explores the evolution of cozy romance toward more explicit content and debates whether fiction should teach readers about anatomy and consent—or simply provide escapist entertainment.
**Ready to dive into the world of authentic polyamorous romance?** Listen to discover how one author is reshaping the genre with realistic characters, thoughtful consent, and unapologetically explicit storytelling.

Key Takeaways:

• Erotic romance faces significant marketing barriers—heat ratings and content warnings can severely limit discoverability.  
• She pairs a cozy, “sweet‑and‑spicy” vibe with explicit group sex and polyamory, doing detailed research to portray realistic consent.  
• Imogen only started writing impulsively in 2022, drafts as a hybrid plotter‑pantser, and has had to accept she can’t please everyone.

Connect with indie author Imogen Knowed: 

Instagram and Threads Imongenknowed

Books: 

Whispers, Whiskers, and Wine (affiliate link) https://amzn.to/4okmDhn

Dates and Dead Bodies (affiliate link) https://amzn.to/4nIAOwu

Podcast Host Ruan Willow's latest book release:

John Gives His Wife Hot Adventures, Book 2 in the Servicing the Work Men Series https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/johngiveshiswifehotadventures

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GET DISCOUNTS on sexuality products:

using Ruan's codes....Affiliates Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow

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