Oh the Horror!

We got a new host on Oh, The Horror this week so we are talking favorite horror movies, modern, classics and cringe worthy! And because everywhere we turn Mr. King is there we are talking In The Tall Grass new on netflix. Stay tuned for the best time of the year (or worst) Holiday horror movies.

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Midsommar, the new hot button horror movie. Is it worth the hype? Well we are here to give you our opinion on that and TNT’s early 2000’s sacrilegious programming. Joined with week by Chanel and fellow horror fan we delve into this summers big hit.

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REEE-MAKE *reggae horn*

That's right, this time, on our bi-annual podcast, we see the new Pet Sematary. Y'all, did you see the old Pet Sematary? Pretty good, right?! And then they made Pet Sematary 2, and it was... much less good, but still fun! Well, let's just say, this is the third best Pet Sematary.

Also, in a very uncharacteristic turn for us, we manage to see Us, which is a whole lot better, just make sure you don't squint too hard. It's not a squint-at-the-plot kinda movie.

So there you go: TWO relevant movies. It's been a weird week.

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Music by Karl Casey

Ep. 29 Suspiria, Summer of '84, etc. by Oh the Horror!

If someone tried to kill you in your slat-doored closet, busting through it like the Kool-Aid Man, would it affect the way you approached slat-doored closets in future homes? "No thanks," you might say, "I am averse to louvered doors now, I do not like being able to see my murderer through them, and vice versa." Well, you apparently do NOT have the constitution of LAURIE STRODE.

This time around, we explore the new "House on Haunted Hill" series on Netflix, as well as "Malevolent," "Salem's Lot," and an apparently made-for-TV version of "Truth or Dare," which led a very confused Mark on a garbage ride, waiting for all the action seen in the Blumhouse version's trailer (why aren't they doing that weird smile thing yet? We're 80 minutes in!).

And finally, just in time for Halloween, we catch "Halloween," the 2018 version of course. It's been 40 years, and we find out how many slat-doored closets Laurie Strode can tolerate in her house. Spoiler: it's a lot. "Put a slat-doored closet in every goddamn room," Laurie explained to the contractor, "I will not let this turn into some kind of phobia."

That's the spirit, Laurie!

Look out, 'cuz we're about to hit you with that Costco-size movie podcast today. We got seven, SEVEN, movies on the docket. And a couple of them are even good!

We start with a brief introduction to the world of haunted apps (because techno-horror is a growing and stupid trend) with Bedeviled, then Mark recounts his surprise with Tusk, the 2014 Kevin Smith joint. We also watched The New Daughter (Kevin Costner is firmly in the "dad" phase of his career, and it suits him), Creep, The Gate, A Cure for Wellness, and A Dark Song. Quite the mixed bag.

(see timestamps for specific movies, in case you don't care to sit through a tirade against a director's "vision" or whatever)

Bedeviled

Tusk

The New Daughter

Creep

The Gate

A Cure for Wellness

A Dark Song

Don't you hate it when your mom keeps relapsing on painkillers and starts dating vampires?

This week, we jump into the well of dysfunction that is "Family Blood," which features all the fun of divorce and addiction, but also throws in a vampire stepdad. Mark takes a look at "Don't Hang Up" and gives way too much feedback on his feelings about the sign language in "A Quiet Place," and we discuss the 73 minute anti-masterpiece "Wolves at the Door," which glamorizes the actual murders of actual people. How cool!

Finally, we take aim at "As Above So Below," which posits the question: What happens if you visit Paris, and the catacombs are actually open to visitors? (Unlike the time we went. Not that we're sour or anything.)

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Get out your jacket, Satan, because hell must have frozen over.

That's right, this time around we've actually managed to discuss something relevant: Hereditary! In theaters now! Go see it, so they'll make more movies like it!

And we finally get around to seeing Happy Death Day and Gerald's Game. Surprisingly... we actually recommend everything (sorta); pretty strong showing, all around.

Shavonna admits to having never seen Groundhog Day, and Mark admits to being wrong about movies. We're not good at our podcasting job.

(Also, what do you think Satan would wear in sub-freezing weather? We'd like to think it would be something like a leather motorcycle jacket, you know, classic-cool, but it's probably more like a Canada Goose Down, like a basic asshole. He's Satan, after all. He's doing it just to piss you off.)

A DINGO ATE YOUR ZOMBIE (sorry). Yes, we're talking about the newest entry to the zombie genre, the "Netflix Original" (meaning stolen and Netflix-rebranded) Australian horror flick, 'Cargo', starring Martin Freeman and the aboriginal dude from Crocodile Dundee. How long do you have on your Fitbit before your eyes are full of marmalade? Listen to find out!

Also, we revisit everyone's #1 film starring Busta Rhymes, 'Halloween: Resurrection', and also 'Cube' (not starring Busta Rhymes, sadly). Shavonna has seen 'A Quiet Place', but Mark has not, so that's not very helpful at all, is it? Enjoy.

Welcome back...Its been a while! This week we are talking Jeepers Creepers 3, Before I Wake, The Shape Of Water, and The Ritual.