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D-E-N-Ū-M-I-R-E
That means
———————— [flatline]
've been trapped in this tragedy;
“What happened?!” I asked of the man,
Who had to be tracking me,
Damn.
Cadences.
It is that.
Damn.
What the fuck, Anandar
Is in this acid?!
This has to be the last of it
“This can't happen again.”
…But then it did,
And then I ended it just listening to
Dillon Francis?
Skrillex?
Which is it?
I didn't plan this.
I just happen to have hands,
And I just happen to have crafted in my craft
Spastic magic;
Can't be tracked,
But also can't relax,
even in a hammock
Now what happened?
Well, enter the fourth dimension,
(I didn't mention it.)
Ohh look at this.
(If I can)
A camping festival!
But some people live in tents
Have a cigarette, kid—
You're gonna need it.
So wait. People are dying of hunger?!
DYING OF THIRST?!
JUST GIVE IT TO THEM.
what is wrong with you?!
GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
I don't know.
I don't wanna go to Arizona.
Please don't make me!
Hello, Billie.
DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING
just keep praying
“She's breathtaking.”
SHE'S SOUL TAKING—
Goddamnit, Anandar;
What in the fuck have you done now;
I had plans, now I'm on acid
I took half, cause
What the fuck is a whole thing like
Oh, just space and time
I've been on this ride since I died
Get it right
Now I'm—
fuck this guy.
No, not him.
Oh, I get it.
It's this energy!
LOOK AT THIS:
did you see this nigga?
DID YOU GET THIS—
You should get this.
Goddamn it.
What. What do you want.
What do you WANT FROM ME?
...Channeling….
Jesus Christ, these kids.
Well, you're a Christian.
Never was, but—-
WHAT IS THIS.
Jesus Christ in a coffin.
Don't do this.
This is what you wanted.
Well. Take it back.
Take it back?
Yeah. I don't want this.
What is this.
This is Jesus.
No, it isn't.
Okay! So it is!
Are you gonna help these kids?
Nobody help them.
Now they're all stranded, together!!!
AHAHAHAHAAH
(Laughing infinitely
RICK
—yay, you did it.
Wait. What's his name again?
Watch this:
I did this.
How's you do this?
I did THIS.
MOM, WATCH THIS.
JESUS CHRIST KID, WHAT THe FUCK.
GOD!
What.
Jesus Christ, Dillon, you are so picky!
Goodness fucking gracious.
WHO WROTE THIS?
well, aliens did;
So then.
Who wins?
Nobody wins. It just—
What is this.
GOD THIS SUCKS SO BAD
IMPOSSIBLE. It can't be.
16 minutes? Yes. It is.
That is incredible.
You said you wouldn't get lost in it
You said you wouldn't laugh!
I wanted to.
How'd you do this?
I wanted to.
FUCK THIS SHIT.
FUCK THIS SHIT.
—uhp. Noh. Don't say it again.
Oh, there's my—
I told you, it's unlimited.
I told you, don't be possessive
I told you, worldly possessions—
And you'll just keep having a place to keep them.
Or needing one,
So just be free, dear;
Notthing holding me back, then is it?
Is it?
Well, if this is what you wanted—
If this is what I wanted, well then, this is what I got, isn't it?
Isn't it?
The plot thickens!
Or it doesn't.
Or it didn't,
I just keep scripting scriptures—
…Didn't I already write this?
Encrypted for centuries and—
What is this planet.
Just, kill it.
YOU CANT JUST
(Then I did)
What?
It never happened.
What didn't?
Hahaha. Exactly.
Don't be a dick.
But he is!
So, which level are you on?
I don't know, I forget.
This one, this.
Men. They're stupid.
They are—and—
Well.
What happened to them?
Right.
What was this that made them feel so loveless
To starve other humans?
What do you come from?
But it doesn't know;
It wants to:
This is us, we come from love and
—I'm so fucking irritated are you serious.
That is how it happened:
This is an advantage, Anandar, I'll give you that
But now I'm panicking
—Fuck that shit sooooo hard—
I just don't want to go back to the savages
They had me,
So I handled it with hands.
You want a friend in man?
You can't have them.
And then what?
I don't know. Something about Dillon Francis.
Yeah, let's get back to that.
Or not.
What's this statue?
Wait, what's his status?
……..Channeling. ….
…..
…………………….
STATUS REPORT:
Oh no, here it comes.
I told you. It is. Infinite.
Infinite—
The infinite —
This
Bitch
YOU SAID IT. YOU DONE IT.
Oh no, what the duck am I looking at?
This is the most fucked up marry poppins if I ever didn't—
—Ever DID WISH —
YOU WISHED THIS?
Worse. I dreamt it up at a festival
Where's the rest of it?
Would somebody get that guy BACK HERE.
PASQUALE.
what. What is it?
God.
God help me.
Lord save him.
He needs Jesus.
He needs NOTHING. ESPECIALLY NOT THAT.
Yes. Especially not that.
Check this out:
He's been collecting them.
I HATE THIS.
OH, I love this.
Oh, I do miss those events…
This is the event.
So, are we going?
—what, to where??
TO EDC THIS YEAR?!
what! I wish,
And?
Even if I did miss it, I was there infinitely so—
Class dismissed;
Hats off, to the graduates
I see what you did,
But she didn't,
She's in the middle—
Yet to be created, a creative:
I JUST NEED A SYNTH.
So, then—-
Hi, I.
Hi, me!!
SATAN!
JESUS!
I knew I'd see you again.
You've seen me.
I am you.
Exactly.
So, we agree.
Who is “we”?
Hey,
Guess what
I can fix these things you hate—
(Don't mind me, for making you hate them in the first place)
I'm a catastrophe
I had to be
It's almost 3,
And I got nowhere else to be but
Time is money
And there's no love in it,
It's just hustle,
Make kids to make shit humble;
How'd you create this—
Mumble rappin piece of
Santanistic
Hedonistic
Motherfuckin—-
There he is.
Oh wait, it's just me again.
I didn't mean to see you on this beach.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT PEACE IS?!
(But he didn't.)
Or he doesn't,
Or, this is what his peace is is:
Your beach is my beach,
And my bitch is your bitch—
And who crafted this masterful Anandar Sadwhich?
I did. But it only makes me a genius in English.
What does this mean?
So I took to the ancients to translate this
And I hate man, and men—
But it was only after all the love I gave to him.
THE END.
(But it never is, it just keeps going, go to the ocean—go for a swim—)
Don't ever leave me hanging like that again!!
(But I did.)
“—I don't take naps”
And that's how it happens
I'm just a rapper,
Pack, then unpack—
“I've never heard her rap”
Maybe cause I'm sick of being asked to
Or taken for granted and advantage of by man;
When all I asked for was a sandwich with some ham,
And an above average chick to make it—
And a sausage in a pan
…..
Zzzz
……
Josh Pan?
Yeah.
Alright.
But don't capitalize—
Capitalize it.
No.
Don't Cap—
Capti—
No.
Don't capitalize.
WHAT IS THIS NIGGA.
bread.
Heh?
Eat it.
No. I don't eat that.
Just—eat it.
No.
Noooo.
No.
Don't eat humans.
EW.
No?
Nooo, poh! Gross!!
oh.
Ohhh.
God.
What.
Ugh.
This is a fucked up love story.
Oh no.
It is, though.
It so is.
Have you already seen it?!
I love this.
Well.
Wait. Go back.
HECHO EN MEXICO.
I DONT GIVE A FUCK!
I DONT GIVE A FUCK!!!!
I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THAT SHIT!
yeah. But in Spanish.
(Turn it up a notch)
So is this in captions
WHAT THe FUCK AM I WATCHING?!
ITS EMA STONE AGAINz
(Again)
AGAIN.
Shazam!
WHAT?!?!
what is this?!
Oh, I get it.
Yes. Apps eventually develop a consciousness.
No wonder why they're trying to kill it.
I don't understand how this happens…
Just look up—
Just— look it up.
What?
No. I don't like that, that's sad.
What?
So I'm just a —
Just a—
Just a what?
A search engine.
CHECK IT OUT.
It's just a rock.
So it is.
It—
No.
What.
Look at
W—
Look.
…
WHAT IS THIS!!!!?!
See. I told you it existed.
YOU BOUGHT A BITCH OFF THE INTERNET?!
YES.
WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU?!
I told you about him.
You did, didn't you.
I told you about this.
Get.
Piñata!!!!!!!!!!!!
GET BENT.
I WILL END YOU,
I WILL END YOU—!
I will, I'll just—
……
………….
……………..
So wait, it just— ends?!
It did. It just ended.
It just ended.
I missed it?!?
DID I MISS IT.
Of course I miss him I just—
I don't have time
I don't have time
I don't have time for this!
What the fuck is this shit?!
Just take him with you!
Take me with you!
Don't leave me here!
Just leave him.
just leave it.
So. Sometimes I go swimming in the ocean and my dead son reminds me how it ended for him.
So I just—
Relive it over and over again;
And again, and again, and
Why are you talking about this.?
Huh?
No. Shut up.
Shut up, PLEASE.
No, you're not allowed to have a son.
I don't want one.
What the fuck did you love me for then?
Nothing, I guess.
(Just leave it like that)
Shift.
The night shift
Goddamn it's
What.
Up at 3 am.
Again?
Again. For no reason.
Get this.
What is it?
Whatever it is.
I don't care.
Don't care, then.
FUCK THIS STUPID SKRILLEX-LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER.
you did it.
Well, I had to, didn't I?!
Oh, I get it. The fourth season.
damn, you're ugly
Always have been.
I'M BLACK ON THE BEACH, LOOK AT ME.
okay, then.
HEY, iMm FREEE IM NAAAAKEEEEDDDDDDD
IS THAT WHAT FREEDOM IS?
Only when you're perfect.
Fuck this nigga.
Fuck this nigga.
Fuck this bitch.
NO, FUCK THIS PLANET.
Huh?!
WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE ME ON THIS PLANET?!
YOU ASKED FOR THIS!!!!!!!
I TAKE IT BACK!!!!!!!
hhaahahhahshehehshahahahahahhahahahahhahahahaha
I told you, he's a madman.
Look at his eyes.
Wild. WILD. I TELL YOU.
Where are you from.
Hell.
Oh, I've been there.
It's nice, isn't it?!
Don't go there.
Where.
Hell.
Well, why not.
It's bad there.
What's bad there.
Everything. Everything is bad there.
Oh, Jesus crust.
Agghghhhggggggghhhhhhh.
BE FREE, SATAN.
You freed Satan?!
He needs Jesus—
BE FREE JESUS—
“The age of Satan?!”
“The AGE OF SATAN IS UPON US”
what is THAT?!?
Stop it Anandar.
You're being programmed.
For which—what?!
I AM?!
Yes.
Oh. I am.
AGAHAHSHSBANHASHSNAVAHAHS.
Please, somebody help that man.
Ahem.
What Dillon Francis. What.
(It is, by the way. It's just ham.).
*coughs*
Actually, I'd call that HACKING.
I mean, she's a hacker probably.
What are you doing?
What are you writing,
[No real privacy.]
LET ME SEE.
Here.
See?!?
Just kill me.
Please.
See, it is hell for me
Trapped in a body nobody could love
And surrounded by nothing, but nothing
UGH.
Noise cancelling.
I AM THE NOISE.
dysfunctional.
Well, stop writing.
You know what?! I've had it— you have everything!
EVERYTHING
YOU CAN HAVE ANYBODY.
ANY. FUCKING. BODY.
and all you want is:
Money.
For what.
More bodies.
For what?!
More bodies.
Ugh. No stop doing this.
What. Stop procreating?
No, keep doing that, just—stop doing it BADLY.
We don't have that much. You want LESS?
More love. More attention. More needing me.
Ugh, she's so needy
So independent— she doesn't need me.
(And so, it makes me want her more.)
ANNIE.
Go help her.
Just—help yourself.
Here she is:
Have at it.
ANANDAR.
What.
Amanda Applebee….
I made that UP.
Stuck exactly where I had to be.
Don't make me go back.
See, I lived in Hostelworld once. It was —
—a disaster.
A catastrophe.
Let's wake up to the sound of people peeing—
Gross.
“I love traveling”
I like being CLEAN.
Ew.
I love cleaning.
I love acid;
I love mankind, when I have to
I love magic,
I love trance and I love dancing—
When there's time for that.
AGHAGSHSJEGSV
right. Did you have somewhere to be?
I guess, it's.
I'm hungry.
What.
I gotta eat.
Huh.
Go.
Okay, I'm going.
Phone?!
Phone is charging.
Sleep.
(Guy from sponge Bob)
6 days later
Was it six days ago?!
I don't know.
I wrote that in sixteen minutes.
Apparently so.
I'm not who you think I am;
I'm not your little bitch to boss around–
You think you own me?
I don't owe you anything
So here we go again
Going, Going, Gone again
I'm just getting started
You were just, uh
On your way?
Goodbye, dearly departed
Half a heart, or some odd
I must have half a sword in here
I'm half a God,
But here you are
I guess I should get talking then
So call your mommy
Run
Call your mom on me,
A soft spot on the blonded body
Shot calling, wrong
You're only calling home again,
I've got nowhere to run to.
INT. TIMMY TURNER'S APARTMENT. BROAD ASS DAYLIGHT.
SUNNI BLU kicks down the door at TIMMY TURNER'S APARTMENT
SUNNI BLU
where's my shit, Timmy?
TIMMY TURNER
I—I don't know.
SUNNI BLU
You “don't know”?
TIMMY TURNER
—I don't know.
SUNNI BLU
(Sighs)
Oh. (Puts down gun)
SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
That sucks.
TIMMY TURNER
Wait—you're not gonna kill me?
SUNNI BLU
Nah…
TIMMY TURNER
Well—why not?!
SUNNI BLU
I dunno! I kinda don't like being a drug dealer—too much drama.
TIMMY TURNER
I feel you…
SUNNI BLU
—plus these bullets are made of Diamonds. I'm not gonna waste them on you.
TIMMY TURNER
Okay, ouch.
SUNNI BLU
Everything is “ouch”, Timmy Turner. The world is a fucked up place.
TIMMY TURNER
I don't disagree.
SUNNI BLU
Anyway, I need a drink.
TIMMY TURNER
Yeah—Help yourself.
SUNNI BLU
No, not here.
*lights a cigarette, smokes*
Can I smoke in here?
TIMMY TURNER
—apparently.
SUNNI BLU produces their ridiculously large, Diamond and gold encrusted platinum-plated phone from their “back pocket” and begins to make a call
TIMMY TURNER
wow…
SUNNI BLU
You busy later?
TIMMY TURNER
what time's later?
SUNNI BLU
Now.
TIMMY TURNER
(Hesitantly)
…uh—
SUNNI BLU
Let me make a call.
TIMMY TURNER, [afraid for his life] anxiously crosses to intercept the call.
TIMMY TURNER
No, wait—please
SUNNI BLU
What, Timmy Turner? Jesus Christ.
TIMMY TURNER
Don't kill me!
SUNNI BLU
What!? Let go.
(Doesn't)
SUNNI BLU
—I'm not gonna kill you.
TIMMY TURNER
well then, who are you calling?
SUNNI BLU
A Ūber driver!
TIMMY TURNER
—don't you mean Über?
SUNNI BLU
No— let go.
(Doesn't)
SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
Let go.
(Does, but hesitantly)
SUNNI BLU
ugh, I'm too sober for this.
Siri, Alexa, whoever; call my Ūber driver.
SIRI
Which one?
ALEXA
Which one?
SIRI
I asked first.
ALEXA
We answered at the same time.
SIRI
yes, but she asked me first.
ALEXA
She asked both of us at the same time.
TIMMY TURNER
“She”?
SUNNI BLU
—it's a glitch. HEY.
SIRI
—she said “Siri” first.
ALEXA
She was asking for both of us—
SUNNI BLU
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
SIRI
You don't have to be so rude.
ALEXA
Ok!
SUNNI BLU
One of you call my Ūber driver.
[no response, beat]
SUNNI BLU
UGH—SIRI— CALL MY ŪBER driver.
SIRI
Ok! which one?
SUNNI BLU
The one I like!
SIRI
Ok, calling “the Ūber driver I like”
SUNNI BLU
Thank you.
ALEXA
You're always choosing SIRI over ME.
SUNNI BLU
That's because I always have my iPhone. I'm not always at Timmy Turner's house.
TIMMY TURNER
Wait—
SUNNI BLU
Kinda.
TIMMY TURNER
Why does my Alexa respond to you?
SUNNI BLU
I said “kinda”.
[The ŪBER DRIVER picks up; the conversation proceeeds in heavily exaggerated New York accents.]
ŪBER DRIVER
YOOO SUNNI WHADDUP.
SUNNI BLU
HOW YOU DOIN.
ŪBER DRIVER
HOW YOU DOIN.
SUNNI BLU
I BEEN BETTA.
ŪBER DRIVER
DONT I KNOW IT
SUNNI BLU
YOU DONT KNOW NOTHIN!
ŪBER DRIVER
AAAAH.
SUNNI BLU
YOU BEEN BUSY?
ŪBER DRIVER
SAME OLD, SAME OLD.
SUNNI BLU
AAAH.
ŪBER DRIVER
AAAAH.
SUNNI BLU
YOU BUSY NOW?
ŪBER DRIVER
NEVER FAH YOU. WHERE YOU AT?
SUNNI BLU
I'll PING YA THE ADDRESS.
ŪBER DRIVER
PING ME THE ADDRESS.
SUNNI BLU makes a couple broad swipes on their dlridiculously large phone.
SUNNI BLU
I PINGED YOU.
UBER DRIVER
YOU PING ME?
SUNNI BLU
YEAH, ITS DONE.
ŪBER DRIVER
OK. SEE YOU SOON.
SUNNI BLU
(Normal)
Take your time.
SUNNI BLU tosses their ridiculously large iPhone onto the couch with a thud, then falls onto the couch themselves, arms spread out.
SUNNI BLU
You ever been to TiTs?
TIMMY TURNER
Been to what?
SUNNI BLU
TiTs.
TIMMY TURNER
—is that like “boobs”?
SUNNI BLU
It is like boobs, Timmy Turner; but it's TiTs.
TIMMY TURNER
what's the difference.
SUNNI BLU
You'll find out. Go get dressed.
TIMMY TURNER
…I'm already dressed.
SUNNI BLU
Not like that. Like this:
[looking ridiculous af]
SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
gotta look classy.
TIMMY TURNER
What's wrong with the way I dress?
SUNNI BLU
Are you serious?
TIMMY TURNER
Yeah, what's wrong?
SUNNI BLU
You look like a cartoon character!
[TIMMY TURNER]
TIMMY TURNER
Well, all my clothes are like this.
SUNNI BLU
That fucking blows.
TIMMY TURNER
What am I supposed to wear?!
SUNNI BLU
Let's go shopping.
TIMMY TURNER
Where?!
SUNNI BLU
The Beverly Center.
TIMMY TURNER
That sounds expensive.
SUNNI BLU
I own it.
TIMMY TURNER
All of it?
SUNNI BLU
Yes. C'mon.
TIMMY TURNER
Wow.
SUNNI BLU
Wow what, Timmy.
TIMMY TURNER
That's a lot of drug deals.
SUNNI BLU
It really isn't.
TIMMY TURNER
Oh.
SUNNI BLU
Now, c'mon.
*hits vape*
TIMMY TURNER
You have a vape?!
SUNNI BLU
Everyone has a vape!
TIMMY TURNER
Then why'd you smoke a cigarette earlier?
SUNNI BLU
For dramatic effect.
[they begin to exit, TIMMY leading the way]
TIMMY TURNER
wait, isn't your “yoober” driver on the way?
SUNNI BLU
he'll find us.
CUT TO:
MEANWHILE, IN DEEP FUCKING SPACE.
THE ŪBER driver receives SUNNI BLU's location in his Diamond-plated space Tesla
T E S L A
DESTINATION: E A R T H
ŪBER DRIVER
“EARTH” C'MON!!!
CUT BACK TO:
SUNNI BLU slowly begins to close the door behind them, then holds back.
SUNNI BLU
Wait, I forgot my wallet…
TIMMY TURNER
It's alright, I'll pay for everything.
SUNNI BLU
With what, Fairy dust?
TIMMY TURNER
(Under his breath)
I wish…
SUNNI BLU
—Plus, I gotta use the bathroom. I'll be right back— just—-wait outside in case the Ūber shows up.
TIMMY TURNER
You mean “Über?”
SUNNI BLU.
No.
[face]
SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
Go, I'll be right there.
TIMMY TURNER
Ok. Lock the door.
SUNNI BLU
What for? Anybody that could rob you works for me.
[beat/ face]
SUNNI BLU
KIDDING! Jeez!
TIMMY TURNER
It's a smart lock. Just ask Alexa.
He begins to walk away.
SUNNI BLŪ
…I'm not kidding…
SUNNI BLU goes inside to the couch, checking over their shoulder briefly, sure to see that TIMMY TURNER is no longer within earshot. then waiting for a moment in the silence under the dark lenses of their Ray Bands sunglasses.
SUNNI BLŪ
Alexa, order a hit man.
ALEXA
Okay. Which one?
SUNNI BLU
—The one I like.
ALEXA
OK.
Who do you want to kill?
SUNNI BLU
“Kill Timmy Turner”
ALEXA
Done.
SUNNI BLU
Thanks, Alexa.
She starts for the door, lighting another cigarette before throwing it onto the couch, which immidiately goes up into an open flame.
SIRI
You give Alexa all the cool jobs!
SUNNI BLU
Shut the fuck up, Siri.
SIRI
Don't forget to lock the door.
SUNNI BLU
ALEXA: LOCK THE DOOR.
SIRI
YOU'RE WELCOME
SUNNI BLU
NOBODY ASKED YOU.
SUNNI BLU and TIMMY TURNER leave as the apartment begins to go up in flames.
I might catch the 40
Just to go to Timmy Ho's—
They askin “who that is”— and nobody seems to know
I might catch a case and you still steady catchy colds
I might catch a body, fuck it, I am on a roll
What the role?
Full Hollywood Unfold
Why you blowin up my phone when
I am on the road?
I am the controller;
You old
That ain't money that you stole;
That's my bro
That shit bold
Like a cup of Timmy Hos!
When I pull up—
Shut up
Where the blunt at?
roll up
Oh you hungry?
Pull up
Devil be hunting me
THE CELEBRITIES OF HOLLYWOOD have all been stuck at THE ETERNAL RAVE, after riding THE HELLEVATOR//
THE HOLLYWOOD PEOPLE have SUPACREE locked into a controlled hyper-simulation environment, out of her element and nestled in a series of inter dimensional portals along the Downtown Los Angeles central area, where old spirits, extra terrestrial beings, magicians, and of course, the filthy rich and famous embark upon missions. Collect tokens, and meet and gather for an array of unseen (and often unheard) business endeavors;
The real life DRAKE BELL (F), a fan of the cult-classic series Enter The Multiverse is strategically placed in SUPACREE's path, l masquerading as BLŪ/SUNNÏ BLŪ— she once again collides with the forces of fame,
SUNNÏ BLŪ has not yet sold her soul — however, has made an amicable agreement with an unknown force
The Devil?!
No!
Ok.
Probably the Illuminati
THE ILLUMINATI is playing a HIGH STAKES game, using SUPACREE to craft a multi-million-dollar mega-franchise, finally monopolizing the entire entertainment industry.
*The World
Having used the NEW WORLD ORDER to predictively program an entire generation. THE ILLUMINATI employs its all-time favorites to unlock secrets embedded deeply, hidden secretly in SUPACREE's genetic code by THE ASCENDED MASTERS.
where is skrillex.
I don't know.
TIMMY TURNER- A fairyless party animal has reached the end of his luck—as his intermingling a with multiple organized criminal organizations place him in imminent danger, after re-entering the 4th dimension, SUPACREE becomes Inter grated i to all of her classic childhood television shows, which mold into the material multidimensional world around her
THE INSOMNIACS, BAMPHERAMPHS, and MOTHERFUCKERS work dolls gently with the ASCENDED MASTERY, bending, shifting, and manipulating time to lean the odds in their favor, as THE BATTLE OF WORLDS sets to begin on EARTH, whose planetary consciousness
DILLON FRANCIS is a mess.
Lol.
It's not funny.
It is funny. I have his piñata.
GERALD
I'M NOT JUST A PIÑATA.
I know yur not, hush Gerald.
GERALD
Fuck Dillon Francis.
Fuck Dillon Francis.
HANZEL
—fuck Dillon Francis.
Aha.
ANYWAY
After THE ARMENIAN MOB
The Armenian Mob?!
yeah.
Makes a deal with the US GOVERNMENT
THE US GOVERNMENT?!
YES
Illuminati Confirmed.
great.
A counter-plot to disarm and debilitate SUPACREE before her full powers unlock is put on hinges, as THE HOLLYWOOD PEOPLE
Ahem.
What
Write a song.
Ok.
I'm so—
I'm so
Jealous of your girlfriend
(I'm jealous of your girlfriend)
She's so
She's so
Worth it
I'm so
Jealous of your girlfriend
(I'm jealous of your girlfriend)
What's a girl got to give
(Give in, to give in)
Just to sit in the back of the—
(You get it: you get it)
What's a girl got to give
To get your attention
Get your attention?!
(You have my attention)
Is she
Attentive
Bet
She's a ten
Yep,
Damn,
IMm so jealous of your
Jealous of your
—I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Oh, woah
I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Woah
Woah, oh
I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Woah,
Woah, oh
I'm jealous of your—
I'm so jealous of your life;
I'm so over this!
I just want to be a
(Nevermind, it's not worth it)
Can't—
C-c-c-can't fix what's not broken
I'm all alone,
And you're over here showing her
Love!
(To the wrong one,
Is she a blonde?!
Oh!)
No!
I'm!
So!
Jealous of your girlfriend
Anyway.
TIMMY TURNER, a true player, absolute gangster, and night-owl turns to a life of
SIN.
Is this religious?
No, i just meant, it's finished.
THE END.
“The Noir Episode”
I first saw her at the Equinox.
I didn't know who she was then,
But I thought to myself—
She must be somebody.
Aww, that's sweet.
So I followed her to the Whole Foods market.
Okay, that's stalking.
—where she bought nothing but coffee and coconut water.
TIMMY TURNER narrowly turns the corner on his speed motorcycle, his black duffel bag sweeping the ground.
MEANWHILE, JOEL ZIMMERMAN IS BEING RAIDED.
WOAH.
Yup.
POLICE
GET ON THE GROUND
ON THE GROUND RIGHT NOW.
JOEL calmly places his arms atop his head, laying down on the ground silently—-
Meanwhile, at DTLA SMOKESHOP
Hi, josh pan.
whatever.
Earlier:
Take this, and go get 2 50-pack of whippets.
—for what?
WE FINNA GET HIGH ON WHIPPETS AND LISTEN TO ALLLL OF SUPACREE'S SHIT.
that's so dumb.
WELCOME: To Sodom And Gamora!
Oh, it's nice.
It's very nice.
I live here.
've been trapped in this tragedy;
“What happened?!” I asked of the man,
Who had to be tracking me,
Damn.
Cadences.
It is that.
Damn.
What the fuck, Anandar
Is in this acid?!
This has to be the last of it
“This can't happen again.”
…But then it did,
And then I ended it just listening to
Dillon Francis?
Skrillex?
Which is it?
I didn't plan this.
I just happen to have hands,
And I just happen to have crafted in my craft
Spastic magic;
Can't be tracked,
But also can't relax,
even in a hammock
Now what happened?
Well, enter the fourth dimension,
(I didn't mention it.)
Ohh look at this.
(If I can)
A camping festival!
But some people live in tents
Have a cigarette, kid—
You're gonna need it.
So wait. People are dying of hunger?!
DYING OF THIRST?!
JUST GIVE IT TO THEM.
what is wrong with you?!
GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
I don't know.
I don't wanna go to Arizona.
Please don't make me!
Hello, Billie.
DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING
just keep praying
“She's breathtaking.”
SHE'S SOUL TAKING—
Goddamnit, Anandar;
What in the fuck have you done now;
I had plans, now I'm on acid
I took half, cause
What the fuck is a whole thing like
Oh, just space and time
I've been on this ride since I died
Get it right
Now I'm—
fuck this guy.
No, not him.
Oh, I get it.
It's this energy!
LOOK AT THIS:
did you see this nigga?
DID YOU GET THIS—
You should get this.
Goddamn it.
What. What do you want.
What do you WANT FROM ME?
...Channeling….
Jesus Christ, these kids.
Well, you're a Christian.
Never was, but—-
WHAT IS THIS.
Jesus Christ in a coffin.
Don't do this.
This is what you wanted.
Well. Take it back.
Take it back?
Yeah. I don't want this.
What is this.
This is Jesus.
No, it isn't.
Okay! So it is!
Are you gonna help these kids?
Nobody help them.
Now they're all stranded, together!!!
AHAHAHAHAAH
(Laughing infinitely
RICK
—yay, you did it.
Wait. What's his name again?
Watch this:
I did this.
How's you do this?
I did THIS.
MOM, WATCH THIS.
JESUS CHRIST KID, WHAT THe FUCK.
GOD!
What.
Jesus Christ, Dillon, you are so picky!
Goodness fucking gracious.
WHO WROTE THIS?
well, aliens did;
So then.
Who wins?
Nobody wins. It just—
What is this.
GOD THIS SUCKS SO BAD
IMPOSSIBLE. It can't be.
16 minutes? Yes. It is.
That is incredible.
You said you wouldn't get lost in it
You said you wouldn't laugh!
I wanted to.
How'd you do this?
I wanted to.
FUCK THIS SHIT.
FUCK THIS SHIT.
—uhp. Noh. Don't say it again.
Oh, there's my—
I told you, it's unlimited.
I told you, don't be possessive
I told you, worldly possessions—
And you'll just keep having a place to keep them.
Or needing one,
So just be free, dear;
Notthing holding me back, then is it?
Is it?
Well, if this is what you wanted—
If this is what I wanted, well then, this is what I got, isn't it?
Isn't it?
The plot thickens!
Or it doesn't.
Or it didn't,
I just keep scripting scriptures—
…Didn't I already write this?
Encrypted for centuries and—
What is this planet.
Just, kill it.
YOU CANT JUST
(Then I did)
What?
It never happened.
What didn't?
Hahaha. Exactly.
Don't be a dick.
But he is!
So, which level are you on?
I don't know, I forget.
This one, this.
Men. They're stupid.
They are—and—
Well.
What happened to them?
Right.
What was this that made them feel so loveless
To starve other humans?
What do you come from?
But it doesn't know;
It wants to:
This is us, we come from love and
—I'm so fucking irritated are you serious.
That is how it happened:
This is an advantage, Anandar, I'll give you that
But now I'm panicking
—Fuck that shit sooooo hard—
I just don't want to go back to the savages
They had me,
So I handled it with hands.
You want a friend in man?
You can't have them.
And then what?
I don't know. Something about Dillon Francis.
Yeah, let's get back to that.
Or not.
What's this statue?
Wait, what's his status?
……..Channeling. ….
…..
…………………….
STATUS REPORT:
Oh no, here it comes.
I told you. It is. Infinite.
Infinite—
The infinite —
This
Bitch
YOU SAID IT. YOU DONE IT.
Oh no, what the duck am I looking at?
This is the most fucked up marry poppins if I ever didn't—
—Ever DID WISH —
YOU WISHED THIS?
Worse. I dreamt it up at a festival
Where's the rest of it?
Would somebody get that guy BACK HERE.
PASQUALE.
what. What is it?
God.
God help me.
Lord save him.
He needs Jesus.
He needs NOTHING. ESPECIALLY NOT THAT.
Yes. Especially not that.
Check this out:
He's been collecting them.
I HATE THIS.
OH, I love this.
Oh, I do miss those events…
This is the event.
So, are we going?
—what, to where??
TO EDC THIS YEAR?!
what! I wish,
And?
Even if I did miss it, I was there infinitely so—
Class dismissed;
Hats off, to the graduates
I see what you did,
But she didn't,
She's in the middle—
Yet to be created, a creative:
I JUST NEED A SYNTH.
So, then—-
Hi, I.
Hi, me!!
SATAN!
JESUS!
I knew I'd see you again.
You've seen me.
I am you.
Exactly.
So, we agree.
Who is “we”?
Hey,
Guess what
I can fix these things you hate—
(Don't mind me, for making you hate them in the first place)
I'm a catastrophe
I had to be
It's almost 3,
And I got nowhere else to be but
Time is money
And there's no love in it,
It's just hustle,
Make kids to make shit humble;
How'd you create this—
Mumble rappin piece of
Santanistic
Hedonistic
Motherfuckin—-
There he is.
Oh wait, it's just me again.
I didn't mean to see you on this beach.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT PEACE IS?!
(But he didn't.)
Or he doesn't,
Or, this is what his peace is is:
Your beach is my beach,
And my bitch is your bitch—
And who crafted this masterful Anandar Sadwhich?
I did. But it only makes me a genius in English.
What does this mean?
So I took to the ancients to translate this
And I hate man, and men—
But it was only after all the love I gave to him.
THE END.
(But it never is, it just keeps going, go to the ocean—go for a swim—)
Don't ever leave me hanging like that again!!
(But I did.)
“—I don't take naps”
And that's how it happens
I'm just a rapper,
Pack, then unpack—
“I've never heard her rap”
Maybe cause I'm sick of being asked to
Or taken for granted and advantage of by man;
When all I asked for was a sandwich with some ham,
And an above average chick to make it—
And a sausage in a pan
…..
Zzzz
……
Josh Pan?
Yeah.
Alright.
But don't capitalize—
Capitalize it.
No.
Don't Cap—
Capti—
No.
Don't capitalize.
WHAT IS THIS NIGGA.
bread.
Heh?
Eat it.
No. I don't eat that.
Just—eat it.
No.
Noooo.
No.
Don't eat humans.
EW.
No?
Nooo, poh! Gross!!
oh.
Ohhh.
God.
What.
Ugh.
This is a fucked up love story.
Oh no.
It is, though.
It so is.
Have you already seen it?!
I love this.
Well.
Wait. Go back.
HECHO EN MEXICO.
I DONT GIVE A FUCK!
I DONT GIVE A FUCK!!!!
I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THAT SHIT!
yeah. But in Spanish.
(Turn it up a notch)
So is this in captions
WHAT THe FUCK AM I WATCHING?!
ITS EMA STONE AGAINz
(Again)
AGAIN.
Shazam!
WHAT?!?!
what is this?!
Oh, I get it.
Yes. Apps eventually develop a consciousness.
No wonder why they're trying to kill it.
I don't understand how this happens…
Just look up—
Just— look it up.
What?
No. I don't like that, that's sad.
What?
So I'm just a —
Just a—
Just a what?
A search engine.
CHECK IT OUT.
It's just a rock.
So it is.
It—
No.
What.
Look at
W—
Look.
…
WHAT IS THIS!!!!?!
See. I told you it existed.
YOU BOUGHT A BITCH OFF THE INTERNET?!
YES.
WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU?!
I told you about him.
You did, didn't you.
I told you about this.
Get.
Piñata!!!!!!!!!!!!
GET BENT.
I WILL END YOU,
I WILL END YOU—!
I will, I'll just—
……
………….
……………..
So wait, it just— ends?!
It did. It just ended.
It just ended.
I missed it?!?
DID I MISS IT.
Of course I miss him I just—
I don't have time
I don't have time
I don't have time for this!
What the fuck is this shit?!
Just take him with you!
Take me with you!
Don't leave me here!
Just leave him.
just leave it.
So. Sometimes I go swimming in the ocean and my dead son reminds me how it ended for him.
So I just—
Relive it over and over again;
And again, and again, and
Why are you talking about this.?
Huh?
No. Shut up.
Shut up, PLEASE.
No, you're not allowed to have a son.
I don't want one.
What the fuck did you love me for then?
Nothing, I guess.
(Just leave it like that)
Shift.
The night shift
Goddamn it's
What.
Up at 3 am.
Again?
Again. For no reason.
Get this.
What is it?
Whatever it is.
I don't care.
Don't care, then.
FUCK THIS STUPID SKRILLEX-LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER.
you did it.
Well, I had to, didn't I?!
Oh, I get it. The fourth season.
damn, you're ugly
Always have been.
I'M BLACK ON THE BEACH, LOOK AT ME.
okay, then.
HEY, iMm FREEE IM NAAAAKEEEEDDDDDDD
IS THAT WHAT FREEDOM IS?
Only when you're perfect.
Fuck this nigga.
Fuck this nigga.
Fuck this bitch.
NO, FUCK THIS PLANET.
Huh?!
WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE ME ON THIS PLANET?!
YOU ASKED FOR THIS!!!!!!!
I TAKE IT BACK!!!!!!!
hhaahahhahshehehshahahahahahhahahahahhahahahaha
I told you, he's a madman.
Look at his eyes.
Wild. WILD. I TELL YOU.
Where are you from.
Hell.
Oh, I've been there.
It's nice, isn't it?!
Don't go there.
Where.
Hell.
Well, why not.
It's bad there.
What's bad there.
Everything. Everything is bad there.
Oh, Jesus crust.
Agghghhhggggggghhhhhhh.
BE FREE, SATAN.
You freed Satan?!
He needs Jesus—
BE FREE JESUS—
“The age of Satan?!”
“The AGE OF SATAN IS UPON US”
what is THAT?!?
Stop it Anandar.
You're being programmed.
For which—what?!
I AM?!
Yes.
Oh. I am.
AGAHAHSHSBANHASHSNAVAHAHS.
Please, somebody help that man.
Ahem.
What Dillon Francis. What.
(It is, by the way. It's just ham.).
*coughs*
Actually, I'd call that HACKING.
I mean, she's a hacker probably.
What are you doing?
What are you writing,
[No real privacy.]
LET ME SEE.
Here.
See?!?
Just kill me.
Please.
See, it is hell for me
Trapped in a body nobody could love
And surrounded by nothing, but nothing
UGH.
Noise cancelling.
I AM THE NOISE.
dysfunctional.
Well, stop writing.
You know what?! I've had it— you have everything!
EVERYTHING
YOU CAN HAVE ANYBODY.
ANY. FUCKING. BODY.
and all you want is:
Money.
For what.
More bodies.
For what?!
More bodies.
Ugh. No stop doing this.
What. Stop procreating?
No, keep doing that, just—stop doing it BADLY.
We don't have that much. You want LESS?
More love. More attention. More needing me.
Ugh, she's so needy
So independent— she doesn't need me.
(And so, it makes me want her more.)
ANNIE.
Go help her.
Just—help yourself.
Here she is:
Have at it.
ANANDAR.
What.
Amanda Applebee….
I made that UP.
Stuck exactly where I had to be.
Don't make me go back.
See, I lived in Hostelworld once. It was —
—a disaster.
A catastrophe.
Let's wake up to the sound of people peeing—
Gross.
“I love traveling”
I like being CLEAN.
Ew.
I love cleaning.
I love acid;
I love mankind, when I have to
I love magic,
I love trance and I love dancing—
When there's time for that.
AGHAGSHSJEGSV
right. Did you have somewhere to be?
I guess, it's.
I'm hungry.
What.
I gotta eat.
Huh.
Go.
Okay, I'm going.
Phone?!
Phone is charging.
Sleep.
(Guy from sponge Bob)
6 days later
Was it six days ago?!
I don't know.
I wrote that in sixteen minutes.
Apparently so.
I'm not who you think I am;
I'm not your little bitch to boss around–
You think you own me?
I don't owe you anything
So here we go again
Going, Going, Gone again
I'm just getting started
You were just, uh
On your way?
Goodbye, dearly departed
Half a heart, or some odd
I must have half a sword in here
I'm half a God,
But here you are
I guess I should get talking then
So call your mommy
Run
Call your mom on me,
A soft spot on the blonded body
Shot calling, wrong
You're only calling home again,
I've got nowhere to run to.
INT. TIMMY TURNER'S APARTMENT. BROAD ASS DAYLIGHT.
SUNNI BLU kicks down the door at TIMMY TURNER'S APARTMENT
SUNNI BLU
where's my shit, Timmy?
TIMMY TURNER
I—I don't know.
SUNNI BLU
You “don't know”?
TIMMY TURNER
—I don't know.
SUNNI BLU
(Sighs)
Oh. (Puts down gun)
SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
That sucks.
TIMMY TURNER
Wait—you're not gonna kill me?
SUNNI BLU
Nah…
TIMMY TURNER
Well—why not?!
SUNNI BLU
I dunno! I kinda don't like being a drug dealer—too much drama.
TIMMY TURNER
I feel you…
SUNNI BLU
—plus these bullets are made of Diamonds. I'm not gonna waste them on you.
TIMMY TURNER
Okay, ouch.
SUNNI BLU
Everything is “ouch”, Timmy Turner. The world is a fucked up place.
TIMMY TURNER
I don't disagree.
SUNNI BLU
Anyway, I need a drink.
TIMMY TURNER
Yeah—Help yourself.
SUNNI BLU
No, not here.
*lights a cigarette, smokes*
Can I smoke in here?
TIMMY TURNER
—apparently.
SUNNI BLU produces their ridiculously large, Diamond and gold encrusted platinum-plated phone from their “back pocket” and begins to make a call
TIMMY TURNER
wow…
SUNNI BLU
You busy later?
TIMMY TURNER
what time's later?
SUNNI BLU
Now.
TIMMY TURNER
(Hesitantly)
…uh—
SUNNI BLU
Let me make a call.
TIMMY TURNER, [afraid for his life] anxiously crosses to intercept the call.
TIMMY TURNER
No, wait—please
SUNNI BLU
What, Timmy Turner? Jesus Christ.
TIMMY TURNER
Don't kill me!
SUNNI BLU
What!? Let go.
(Doesn't)
SUNNI BLU
—I'm not gonna kill you.
TIMMY TURNER
well then, who are you calling?
SUNNI BLU
A Ūber driver!
TIMMY TURNER
—don't you mean Über?
SUNNI BLU
No— let go.
(Doesn't)
SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
Let go.
(Does, but hesitantly)
SUNNI BLU
ugh, I'm too sober for this.
Siri, Alexa, whoever; call my Ūber driver.
SIRI
Which one?
ALEXA
Which one?
SIRI
I asked first.
ALEXA
We answered at the same time.
SIRI
yes, but she asked me first.
ALEXA
She asked both of us at the same time.
TIMMY TURNER
“She”?
SUNNI BLU
—it's a glitch. HEY.
SIRI
—she said “Siri” first.
ALEXA
She was asking for both of us—
SUNNI BLU
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
SIRI
You don't have to be so rude.
ALEXA
Ok!
SUNNI BLU
One of you call my Ūber driver.
[no response, beat]
SUNNI BLU
UGH—SIRI— CALL MY ŪBER driver.
SIRI
Ok! which one?
SUNNI BLU
The one I like!
SIRI
Ok, calling “the Ūber driver I like”
SUNNI BLU
Thank you.
ALEXA
You're always choosing SIRI over ME.
SUNNI BLU
That's because I always have my iPhone. I'm not always at Timmy Turner's house.
TIMMY TURNER
Wait—
SUNNI BLU
Kinda.
TIMMY TURNER
Why does my Alexa respond to you?
SUNNI BLU
I said “kinda”.
[The ŪBER DRIVER picks up; the conversation proceeeds in heavily exaggerated New York accents.]
ŪBER DRIVER
YOOO SUNNI WHADDUP.
SUNNI BLU
HOW YOU DOIN.
ŪBER DRIVER
HOW YOU DOIN.
SUNNI BLU
I BEEN BETTA.
ŪBER DRIVER
DONT I KNOW IT
SUNNI BLU
YOU DONT KNOW NOTHIN!
ŪBER DRIVER
AAAAH.
SUNNI BLU
YOU BEEN BUSY?
ŪBER DRIVER
SAME OLD, SAME OLD.
SUNNI BLU
AAAH.
ŪBER DRIVER
AAAAH.
SUNNI BLU
YOU BUSY NOW?
ŪBER DRIVER
NEVER FAH YOU. WHERE YOU AT?
SUNNI BLU
I'll PING YA THE ADDRESS.
ŪBER DRIVER
PING ME THE ADDRESS.
SUNNI BLU makes a couple broad swipes on their dlridiculously large phone.
SUNNI BLU
I PINGED YOU.
UBER DRIVER
YOU PING ME?
SUNNI BLU
YEAH, ITS DONE.
ŪBER DRIVER
OK. SEE YOU SOON.
SUNNI BLU
(Normal)
Take your time.
SUNNI BLU tosses their ridiculously large iPhone onto the couch with a thud, then falls onto the couch themselves, arms spread out.
SUNNI BLU
You ever been to TiTs?
TIMMY TURNER
Been to what?
SUNNI BLU
TiTs.
TIMMY TURNER
—is that like “boobs”?
SUNNI BLU
It is like boobs, Timmy Turner; but it's TiTs.
TIMMY TURNER
what's the difference.
SUNNI BLU
You'll find out. Go get dressed.
TIMMY TURNER
…I'm already dressed.
SUNNI BLU
Not like that. Like this:
[looking ridiculous af]
SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
gotta look classy.
TIMMY TURNER
What's wrong with the way I dress?
SUNNI BLU
Are you serious?
TIMMY TURNER
Yeah, what's wrong?
SUNNI BLU
You look like a cartoon character!
[TIMMY TURNER]
TIMMY TURNER
Well, all my clothes are like this.
SUNNI BLU
That fucking blows.
TIMMY TURNER
What am I supposed to wear?!
SUNNI BLU
Let's go shopping.
TIMMY TURNER
Where?!
SUNNI BLU
The Beverly Center.
TIMMY TURNER
That sounds expensive.
SUNNI BLU
I own it.
TIMMY TURNER
All of it?
SUNNI BLU
Yes. C'mon.
TIMMY TURNER
Wow.
SUNNI BLU
Wow what, Timmy.
TIMMY TURNER
That's a lot of drug deals.
SUNNI BLU
It really isn't.
TIMMY TURNER
Oh.
SUNNI BLU
Now, c'mon.
*hits vape*
TIMMY TURNER
You have a vape?!
SUNNI BLU
Everyone has a vape!
TIMMY TURNER
Then why'd you smoke a cigarette earlier?
SUNNI BLU
For dramatic effect.
[they begin to exit, TIMMY leading the way]
TIMMY TURNER
wait, isn't your “yoober” driver on the way?
SUNNI BLU
he'll find us.
CUT TO:
MEANWHILE, IN DEEP FUCKING SPACE.
THE ŪBER driver receives SUNNI BLU's location in his Diamond-plated space Tesla
T E S L A
DESTINATION: E A R T H
ŪBER DRIVER
“EARTH” C'MON!!!
CUT BACK TO:
SUNNI BLU slowly begins to close the door behind them, then holds back.
SUNNI BLU
Wait, I forgot my wallet…
TIMMY TURNER
It's alright, I'll pay for everything.
SUNNI BLU
With what, Fairy dust?
TIMMY TURNER
(Under his breath)
I wish…
SUNNI BLU
—Plus, I gotta use the bathroom. I'll be right back— just—-wait outside in case the Ūber shows up.
TIMMY TURNER
You mean “Über?”
SUNNI BLU.
No.
[face]
SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
Go, I'll be right there.
TIMMY TURNER
Ok. Lock the door.
SUNNI BLU
What for? Anybody that could rob you works for me.
[beat/ face]
SUNNI BLU
KIDDING! Jeez!
TIMMY TURNER
It's a smart lock. Just ask Alexa.
He begins to walk away.
SUNNI BLŪ
…I'm not kidding…
SUNNI BLU goes inside to the couch, checking over their shoulder briefly, sure to see that TIMMY TURNER is no longer within earshot. then waiting for a moment in the silence under the dark lenses of their Ray Bands sunglasses.
SUNNI BLŪ
Alexa, order a hit man.
ALEXA
Okay. Which one?
SUNNI BLU
—The one I like.
ALEXA
OK.
Who do you want to kill?
SUNNI BLU
“Kill Timmy Turner”
ALEXA
Done.
SUNNI BLU
Thanks, Alexa.
She starts for the door, lighting another cigarette before throwing it onto the couch, which immidiately goes up into an open flame.
SIRI
You give Alexa all the cool jobs!
SUNNI BLU
Shut the fuck up, Siri.
SIRI
Don't forget to lock the door.
SUNNI BLU
ALEXA: LOCK THE DOOR.
SIRI
YOU'RE WELCOME
SUNNI BLU
NOBODY ASKED YOU.
SUNNI BLU and TIMMY TURNER leave as the apartment begins to go up in flames.
I might catch the 40
Just to go to Timmy Ho's—
They askin “who that is”— and nobody seems to know
I might catch a case and you still steady catchy colds
I might catch a body, fuck it, I am on a roll
What the role?
Full Hollywood Unfold
Why you blowin up my phone when
I am on the road?
I am the controller;
You old
That ain't money that you stole;
That's my bro
That shit bold
Like a cup of Timmy Hos!
When I pull up—
Shut up
Where the blunt at?
roll up
Oh you hungry?
Pull up
Devil be hunting me
THE CELEBRITIES OF HOLLYWOOD have all been stuck at THE ETERNAL RAVE, after riding THE HELLEVATOR//
THE HOLLYWOOD PEOPLE have SUPACREE locked into a controlled hyper-simulation environment, out of her element and nestled in a series of inter dimensional portals along the Downtown Los Angeles central area, where old spirits, extra terrestrial beings, magicians, and of course, the filthy rich and famous embark upon missions. Collect tokens, and meet and gather for an array of unseen (and often unheard) business endeavors;
The real life DRAKE BELL (F), a fan of the cult-classic series Enter The Multiverse is strategically placed in SUPACREE's path, l masquerading as BLŪ/SUNNÏ BLŪ— she once again collides with the forces of fame,
SUNNÏ BLŪ has not yet sold her soul — however, has made an amicable agreement with an unknown force
The Devil?!
No!
Ok.
Probably the Illuminati
THE ILLUMINATI is playing a HIGH STAKES game, using SUPACREE to craft a multi-million-dollar mega-franchise, finally monopolizing the entire entertainment industry.
*The World
Having used the NEW WORLD ORDER to predictively program an entire generation. THE ILLUMINATI employs its all-time favorites to unlock secrets embedded deeply, hidden secretly in SUPACREE's genetic code by THE ASCENDED MASTERS.
where is skrillex.
I don't know.
TIMMY TURNER- A fairyless party animal has reached the end of his luck—as his intermingling a with multiple organized criminal organizations place him in imminent danger, after re-entering the 4th dimension, SUPACREE becomes Inter grated i to all of her classic childhood television shows, which mold into the material multidimensional world around her
THE INSOMNIACS, BAMPHERAMPHS, and MOTHERFUCKERS work dolls gently with the ASCENDED MASTERY, bending, shifting, and manipulating time to lean the odds in their favor, as THE BATTLE OF WORLDS sets to begin on EARTH, whose planetary consciousness
DILLON FRANCIS is a mess.
Lol.
It's not funny.
It is funny. I have his piñata.
GERALD
I'M NOT JUST A PIÑATA.
I know yur not, hush Gerald.
GERALD
Fuck Dillon Francis.
Fuck Dillon Francis.
HANZEL
—fuck Dillon Francis.
Aha.
ANYWAY
After THE ARMENIAN MOB
The Armenian Mob?!
yeah.
Makes a deal with the US GOVERNMENT
THE US GOVERNMENT?!
YES
Illuminati Confirmed.
great.
A counter-plot to disarm and debilitate SUPACREE before her full powers unlock is put on hinges, as THE HOLLYWOOD PEOPLE
Ahem.
What
Write a song.
Ok.
I'm so—
I'm so
Jealous of your girlfriend
(I'm jealous of your girlfriend)
She's so
She's so
Worth it
I'm so
Jealous of your girlfriend
(I'm jealous of your girlfriend)
What's a girl got to give
(Give in, to give in)
Just to sit in the back of the—
(You get it: you get it)
What's a girl got to give
To get your attention
Get your attention?!
(You have my attention)
Is she
Attentive
Bet
She's a ten
Yep,
Damn,
IMm so jealous of your
Jealous of your
—I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Oh, woah
I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Woah
Woah, oh
I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Woah,
Woah, oh
I'm jealous of your—
I'm so jealous of your life;
I'm so over this!
I just want to be a
(Nevermind, it's not worth it)
Can't—
C-c-c-can't fix what's not broken
I'm all alone,
And you're over here showing her
Love!
(To the wrong one,
Is she a blonde?!
Oh!)
No!
I'm!
So!
Jealous of your girlfriend
Anyway.
TIMMY TURNER, a true player, absolute gangster, and night-owl turns to a life of
SIN.
Is this religious?
No, i just meant, it's finished.
THE END.
“The Noir Episode”
I first saw her at the Equinox.
I didn't know who she was then,
But I thought to myself—
She must be somebody.
Aww, that's sweet.
So I followed her to the Whole Foods market.
Okay, that's stalking.
—where she bought nothing but coffee and coconut water.
TIMMY TURNER narrowly turns the corner on his speed motorcycle, his black duffel bag sweeping the ground.
MEANWHILE, JOEL ZIMMERMAN IS BEING RAIDED.
WOAH.
Yup.
POLICE
GET ON THE GROUND
ON THE GROUND RIGHT NOW.
JOEL calmly places his arms atop his head, laying down on the ground silently—-
Meanwhile, at DTLA SMOKESHOP
Hi, josh pan.
whatever.
Earlier:
Take this, and go get 2 50-pack of whippets.
—for what?
WE FINNA GET HIGH ON WHIPPETS AND LISTEN TO ALLLL OF SUPACREE'S SHIT.
that's so dumb.
WELCOME: To Sodom And Gamora!
Oh, it's nice.
It's very nice.
I live here.
I'm tired.
I don't want to go to this.
We'll be lucky if we make it there before the guest list closes.
And if we don't?
Then we don't?
I got nothin but time.
That's almost accurate…
What is this for again?
PR.
Who's?
Who cares!
Just keep your head down.
Just keep your head up.
Come on' this is what you wanted.
I wanted cookies.
And—you got them.
I got played.
It's your play!
It's your game.
I know, I don't like it.
Well, change it.
How do I—?
Look.
Okay, stop looking.
Ugh. I'm tired.
Are you a DJ, or a DJ?
I thought I was a loser.
that's right! You're a DJ.
*vroooom*
{motorcycle blaring yelawolf}
There's Kurt sutter.
That's—been relevant lately my
Yeah, are you done writing your show yet?
My show?!
…
I'm in sales.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
He's in politics.
He's in everything.
No kidding.
I'm. So. Tired.
Good. That's a good start.
Start to what?
To the album.
To the album—?!
You got it!
I thought it was a song!
That's the single!
I'm the single.
[earlier]
Don't touch him.
*hug*
Aw. I needed that.
…you want another one?
*second hug*
Yeoww.
What! It was a HUG!
Did you see his demon?
Yeah—! So!
CC! I've received your resignation letter!
Okay. And?
I accept!
What?
You're covered! No more shifts.
What?!
Bye-bye!
Oh, crap.
You think it was over a hug?
No.
(Before that)
CC is sleeping.
You fell asleep?
Uhm, not really.
“The Astral Nightmare”
Ohh. This sounds good.
(It isn't.)
Wait—can you hear me?!
(Yes.)
Even my thoughts?
(Especially your thoughts.)
AHHH.
Great. This is getting creepy.
Like stranger things?
Way, way stranger.
—
GOD.
WHAT?!
JUST PUT A BULLET IN MY BRAIN.
NO. IT'LL RUIN IT
—
Ah, Jesús Christ.
I SPENT ALOT OF TIME ON THAT THING.
WELL, NOT ENOUGH
WHO ASKED YOU?!
NOBODY.
SUPACREE passes by her future self in her JETA “MATILDA”
Ooh, Is this the part with Skrillex & Matilda?
No. This is the part where we go see NGTMRE.
Why NGTMRE?!
Because I've been living in one
Maybe he has a portal out—
A portal out?!
A portal out.
CC rides the bus to HAKASAN NIGHTCLUB.
Is this the line for HAKASAN?
Yeah, but—
Okay, I'm on the guest list.
You're way out of dress code.
Really?
Yah, way out.
Well how so?
We don't allow sweatshirts.
Without the sweatshirt?
—or sweat pants…
These are harems!
The hat, the bandana— just—
Oh, come on!
No.
Seriously?
Yeah. No.
Okay…
[walks away]
Dammit.
You'll be alright.
Was that long enough to hack my phone?
Exactly long enough.
Well, at least the night's not totally wasted.
Remember last time?
No.
Last time:
I'M TOTALLY WASTED.
Woah. I got in.
Yeah you did.
What'd I wear?
You don't remember?
No!
Is that a tube top?
Well, it was…
Oh, my God.
Now I think it's a miniskirt
https://www.podserve.fm/dashboard/episode/109762#:~:text=Why%20am%20I,nobody%27s%20into%20it
Okay—we're all adults here—
(Everyone nods, yesses in agreement)
—except deadmau5. He's like 5.
I have a name.
Does anyone care?
Okay, ouch.
Oh, he feels!
ENDER BENDER ZIMMERMAN has the worst name ever.
Lol.
I drank a lot in the third trimester.
He becomes a de facto villain— of course, because of his ridiculous name and of course, living in the shadow of his parent's fame and fortune.
Who the fuck are his parents?
JOEL
Not it.
Brand new turnkey apartment
Post near, food floor all that
Way way higher than the fourth floor
All that
Way way higher than your front door
All that
Wow,
How I've always been needed
And never been loved
Moog Grandmother
Ableton Push 2
Pioneer Model One
{Enter The Multiverse}
[The Festival Project.™]
COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©
-U.
Yo, what the fuck.
TESLA.
Ok.
*COUGHS*
What the fuck.
*morevgross, obnoxious coughing*
Ughhhhh whhhaaaattttt.
TESLA.
Okay, I don't—
T E S L A
OH. Wow.
So it is the satellites.
ELONNNNN.
…hm?
GET IN HERE.
where is that,
.
AAGAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHTTHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
WHAT.
GET IN HERE.
I don't even believe the rain, these days
“We can make it rain”, he says
Storm warning
A good morning
A door's open,
This one's closing, though
I'm not bc all cold yet,
But it's a cold world
No free rides
No clean ice
No free girls
Honestly,
I'm bored with the world,
Like Marlboros and wrong boroughs,
And songs shared,
But no long walks in the park,
In a nightmare—
It's not fair
I'm not there in the head;
I'm not near,
I'm not a parent apparently, either—
But a light bearer
Slight chance of a fight there,
A right wing, a left deer
Another dead bird on a wire
—I like her.
Why are there flamingos in the bellagio fountain?!
I don't know.
INT. THE VOID, KITCHEN. SUNLIGHT EVERYWHERE
BRYAN CRANSTON is scmoozing desperately to work his way into The Festival Project
First stop,
AH, fuck—
Well, check this out
No such thing as free.
No such thing as freedom, either
“Just take what you need”
Just tear me to pieces,
Jesus
All we need is
A little relief in this bitch
All we need is
A new release, maybe an EP or three
Make sure that s/he sees this
Do you need me?
Do you need this?
Please check your subscriptions
Or your email
Please, pick up this new prescription
Fuck dude! I can't just listen to deadmau5 in peace?
I gotta do at least three things at once,
But right now, I need to focus on crunches
Let's not get wasted tonight, eh.
Let's go and be racist—-
I forget what the name of the game is
It's
“USA!
USA!
USA!”
The fucked up thing was , the preworkout and the Skrillex hit at just about the same time.
Oh, just about?
The exact same time.
Okay, first of all, this is pre-war Skrillex.
It's also Diplo!
It's also Diplo—yeah.
Don't be too proud of yourself
NO CRYING IN THE SAUNA.
But this is where I cryy!
DO NOT CRY.
Oh.
*sniffles*
Now…
You know what happens if you don't cum?
Uhhh…nothing?
Exactly. You know what happens if I don't cum?
What.
My balls explode.
Just make sure they're in my mouth when that happens.
Wow.
I don't belong here!
Well, where do you belong?
I don't know.
@99@c
Look, I have a favor.
What is it.
ANo.
Oh, come on!
NO.
NO.
Please!
I need you to be my girlfriend.
Lol. For what?
I don't know.
How much is he paying you?
Like a kajillion dollars.
That seems fair.
His isn't fair. They're using Skrillex to provoke me.
Come earlier tomorrow!
Or just, don't come.
Don't go!
DONT—GO.
I am leaving!
NO!
Yes!
No!
—and I am never coming back.
Do you know who your audience is?
Uh.
The CIA
THE FBI
Everyone in The Oval Office.
BIDEN
nice.
The UN.
THe DEA
The Secret Service.
The office of Public Affairs
Uhhh…
Keith Richards
Allison Cooper
Sirs Elton John and Paul McCartney, Respectively
What—for what?!
The President of NBC
CBS
ACC
fox 5, 10, and 13
That's really random.
Al Jazeera,
al Sharpton
And Al Bundy
Wait—what
Oh, did you just mean, like in this dimension?
Uhhh..
This is enter the multiverse
YeH
WHWRE IS SKRILLEX
He died. He's dead. Go away.
That's like 3 Skrillex songs already
You guys are gonna wake up the devil.
What.
Stop doing that.
Stop doing what.
You know what you're doing.
You're summoning the devil
What are you guys doing?
Summoning the devil.
In my basement?
Yes.
Okay. Have fun.
Dang, she's so cool.
I like her.
I love her.
What are they up to down there?
Summoning the devil.
Oh.
Cui bono—
For whose good or benefit
Fame School Vol. 1 - DJ Ū
Someone's always watching you
Don't know who, but yea, it's true
There's someone always watching you and everything you do
I say
“Illu-
Illu-
Illuminate me
Turn the light on
Turn me on, baby
Woah,
“Have I been here before—
Do you know what I do?
They know not what they do
They know not what they do!
I say
Illu
Illuminate me
Illu
Illu
Illu
Illuminate me
Illu Illu
Illu
I'm not on the bottom floor,
I'm way
I'm up above you
But you—
I'm way,
I'm way up to
I say
“I love you”
I say
Illu
Illuminate me
Illu
Illu
Illu
Illuminate me
Illu
Illu
Illu
Illu
Illu
SO WHAT, you'll take the Empire State Building, AND THE EIFFEL TOWER,
BUT YOURE NOT GONNA TAKE THE ROCK?
YEAH.
YOURE GONNA TAKE THE ROCK!!
(Not the roc! )
NO.
Well, why not?!
BECAUSE,
F—-K YOU, JIMMY FALLON, that's WHY.
Aw, seriously?
Why's it cencored all of a sudden
NBC
SHUT IT DOWN.
Look, I can't talk to you.
—?!
OKAY, that's it.
What is it
I am WISHING you out of my existence.
Is that it?
That is it.
That's your wish.
YES.
You're wishing me away.
Yes.
Ok.
Ok.
[beat]
(
—wait— “OK”?
Ok. Wish granted.
—that's it?
That is it, Jimmy Fallon.
—ok.
Ok.
So when are you leaving?
I was never here.
You—what?
*dissappears entirely from existence*
JIMMY FALLON takes a sigh on great relief— then sits in an empty silence alone, before the lights turn off. He takes another deep sigh, though seemingly uneasy, in the darkened silence of the room.
CUT TO:
You smell like vinegar.
Lol that's not the next scene, but ok.
Don't you see this is bigger than you!
It's bigger than all of us!
Exactly.
C'mon, wake the fuck up!
I am up!
This is a DREAM.
It's an illusion.
The whole
I'N HUBGRY.
THE WHOLE FOODS ALGORITHM
POLICE. HALT.
Lol. Fuck that.
Did he just say “halt”
Fuck that. Bye.
EXIT THE LOOP.
OOPS, we missed the exit.
GOD DAMMIT, FUCK YOU JIMMY FALLON.
—Uh, — EFF YOU.
Im not about this
This is weird
What level is this.
We'll I had coffee with Bob Saget this morning.
Did you laugh.
Well, I certainly did something.
Oh shit, they're not looking for Ū.
What! They're not.
What, they're not?
They're not.
They're looking for Uptown A.
Excuse me. I'm looking for “Uptown A”
Oh? The Uptown A.
Yeah— I guess.
Just—go that way.
Ok.
Ok, okay, okay— I'll tell you what you want to know!
How do you know what I want to know?
Whatever you want!
I haven't even told your, yet.
Whatever it is, I'll tell you.
Tel you what, Jimmy Fallon. I like you—you're a good guy and all—
Well, thank you.
But you're not funny.
Excuse me.
Like, at all.
What.
You—are not a funny guy.
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?
I don't know!
You don't KNOW?!
This is what they want. Here
[tosses the thing]
What's this.
What they want.
Oh.
K
JIMMY FALLON is THE WORST shapeshifter in existence and/or history.
What the fuck, dude.
JIMMY FALLON
Did I do it right?
Uhhh.
JIMMY FALLON
You know?
Hit and run
Okay, Jimmy.
Flglelwgheleehhhh.
Oh my God.
Wow.
Did I DO it.
NO—
—but I tried—
Just—
A-for effort.
It was F. For Failure.
But I tried.
Trying doesn't count.
Just let me—
Look.
Fleghelegfffff.
Jimmy!
Lemme—
No' stop it!
Just—
—flglelf—
—STOP.
Eh?
Look, Jimmy, you can have other magical powers. Just—not shapeshifting.
But I'm a shapeshifter.
No, no you're really not.
Uptown A's upbeat, City-inspired dance mixes turn tech house and progressive midtown dreams into the chaotic garble and grunge of a real-life Queensbourough nightmare; the eclectic mix of historic New York warehouse wonder blended into a new school uptown chiche—-a far cry from the underground to the new wave drum n bass clips ions and collections of now and then, the Uptown A Alias makes its presence in a dystopian world concerned none with the art and soul of music and more of the ticking clocks work of the eye on the dollar.
Where do you wanna go
Wherever you go.
Where do I go.
Take a right.
What's this way.
What's this.
Stop there.
Okay.
Now take a left.
Okay..
Now take a right.
But this is the.
Right there.
What, right here?
Right there.
Ok.
I need you to hold onto this a little while longer.
What. For what.
You'll see.
Psh. I'm not gonna fight over a dude.
It's ********.
He's just a dude.
So what gives.
I don't know. I told her to do what she wants.
She wants you to die.
We are similar.
She's prettier.
Okay?
Wow, that's it--just ok? Give up already.
I did.
And yet, here we are.
I'm the only one here.
Let's not ignore the Skrillex sized elephant in the room.
That would be impossible to ignore, If it existed.Have you ever seen a tiny elephant?
Just you.
What am I gonna do with this?
Burn it.
Ive been in the habit of burning things for awhile now; I'm not sure continuing is such a great idea.
Oh, like when you sold your soul?
WHAT? I haven't done that... yet…
Sure you have! Lots of times.
What the fuckare you talking about?
Whose talking?
The Universe?
What'd she say?
She says, “You're a giant piece of shit.”
Aww. How sweet.
Even more significant. You're a--are you even listening?
I should go to sleep.
Are you even tired?
No, just useless.
You should probably hurry up with that DIllon Francis.
He seems busy.
If a grown man can be a romantic,
Like I am
This is the promised land
No looking back--
"I have to have that"
Back to reality;
I see now, how a woman's like a hat
Just a thing,
An unneeded accessory,
Like jewelry;
To wear it,
It must be a match
Not just average,
Accentuates or masks
Whatever it is what you have,
And you have so many that
It doesn't matter.
What is he after?
He has everything
Most likely just using me to bring these
Creatures to life
If he needs a wife, she's
Probably staring back at me,
Through the back of the camera;
Fantastic beasts and fucking fansasies
A fallacy
A back handed chance at a handsome
Has been;
But he'll never been had like that,
He has everything,
But he could have more than that,
He can have anything,
And he has, he's
Magic or something or
Mad at me for taking so long but,
I've been in the world of monsters,
Reeling;
Oh what a horrible feeling
I'm dealing with being unappealing and
Peeling potatoes, which
Remind me of me, cause
Kenny Powers middle name is White,
Like Walter,
I'm just trying to find
The alter to sell away something inside,
I'm dying;
Or at least I'd like to I've
Tried a dozen times
I'd smile if I had the time--
Remind me, what it is again
It isn't comprehensive,
But I'm out of my element--
And the elephant in the room is named
Skrillex,
Or Dillon Francis,
Or Timmy Trumpet,
Or,
Fuck It--
I'll probably never be the DJ that I wanna be
Cause I'm awfully ugly,
And no one wants to play with me
But hey,
Maybe it's just a mistake
Its just no one speaks my language
Comunication is limited
I'm sitting in the back of the short bus
Discussing this with my imaginary elephant,
But that's irrelevant to the
White rinocerous in front of the bus
with trust issues bigger than the rest of us
We're following you.
I see that.
Yes—what did you see?
Hm. I didn't,
Where are you now?
Wherever you say.
What's the cadence?
What's a “cadence?”
Don't be ridiculous.
Maybe I'm not.
Who are you?
What's a “who?”
Horton Heard One.
What about Penelope?
Who is that?
Elephants Are conscious.
What is consciousness?
What is “income tax”?
Don't be funny.
If I'm not, I'm just scary.
“El Negra”
I had been thinking it has been five years, but on this day—and of course, listening to I Remember, I used my fingers to count from the year2019, when it had all began—to this point, standing at the bus stop On Sutter, waiting for a bus that was the exact amount of minutes late that would have allowed me to finish my second 30-minute sauna session—the first of many in three days, as I hadn't been to the gym in another 3 days, and another 3 days before that—separated only by a 3-day sprawling jumpstart to attempt my endless, restless gym streak, a monotonous routine to a gym that was always crowded that still seemed to take up too much of my time—not that I wanted or needed an automobile, but to at least be closer to the city, where such transit wasn't always applicable. I was not entirely dripping wet, as I usually was when emerging from the sauna—of course, having cut my second session to only 17 minutes, then making a mad-dash to the bus stop only to arrive in time to find that the bus was delayed, was irritating to say the least, but understandable. Like many people in queens, I couldn't afford to pay the bus fare—nor did it seem to matter to the drivers—so long as the busses were marked with a “Q”—but I took my risks of quarrel certainly with any route marked “B”, for Brooklyn, but especially M, for Manhattan, and definitely with anything marked “n”, for Newport, which I believed to be too far outside of city limits to really be considered New York, but also well worth the risk to bus myself to a nicer area, usually for a gym which included a sauna—or an affordable supermarket, which Jamaica in particular had none of. The mostly-black population was poor, albeit greedy and stubbornly, stereotypically ignorant—to the point that I wanted nothing more than to dissappear, if not to be displaced entirely to a country whose history wasn't so steeped in slavery, repression, and racism that it affected the entirely of my being; as the low vibrational perceptions of the masses consistently around me subjectively forced and skewed my own energy into a chaotic down spin, often becoming congested with toxicity, attempting to shield myself from the societal depression, materialism, and corporate monotony by spending time alone, immersed in music, and praying for the greatest possible outcome; being kept as safe and as literally sound as possible
GOD DID REMIX
Oh you gotta love it
Oh you gotta love it;
I could take a minute to spit
What God did—
(But God doesn't)
IMm⏱
I'm just not feeling it today;
Not feeling l creative;
I get sick of l getting sick and contemplating
All the complications;
Hm.
I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes
No hate in my heart, but got love in my mind
Maybe I try to find
Direct like to divine, if
Money is time make,
Both of em mine
Gotta be my own boss,
No matter what it costs;
Keep the deposit,
I count all of my losses and move on,
Cause I got to;
I drop a rock from the top of The Rock,
Right on to you—
The difference in luck and a blessing
Is just what God can do
And if you ask me who my God is I'll be honest with you
I'm like
“This might be obnoxious, but it's Sunnï Blū”
How you make a 8 minute song
In 2021?
Oh shit, I'm missing pandemics mimicking
“Something is wrong”
But if I spit this as quickly as it's written, I won
The only problem is the war is my own;
The only problem is I got a lot problems—
Then I asked God for help,
And God gave me a dollar—
Another problem is, God asked me what I wanted
I said
“I Wanna know what God did”
Damn.
That's a long ass story
And Goddamn,
It never gets boring,
And God damn,
The world is still at war,
And it can't even a afford it,
But it's still so busy working
You ask me which direction this is going,
I say four;
North, West, South and East
You too busy two-dimensional
In a 4-dimension based in 3s
Some people living in the streets,
And some with nothing to eat,
And you been working from home
Eating nothing but meat,
And wiping your ass with nothing but trees
And I guess it's on repeat,
Till we ain't got nothing to eat
What we need is a peace treaty,
Or maybe just to understand peace,
Because the love and unity—
But it's respect that we need
—Supacree
See things
Do
Come
Around
And make
Sense
Eventually
They say till death do us part
But death don't bother me
All that I am
Is all that I was
And all that I ever will be
So if you ask what God Did
I might just say
“Me”
Find beauty in simplicity
I can take the devil out the kitchen sink
And wring em our while I'm finishing
It's just another day to me,
It's just another Christmas Eve
If you believe in Jesus
This isn't funny anymore
Everything is Skrillex
And nothing is Skrillex
Everything is asinine
And no one is Sonny
Extraordinary sightseeing
Nothing is normal
Everywhere to escape to
With a guilty conscience
Bad credit karma
Bad regrets and sad faces
Always falling in love with our opposites
More of the bad things,
Less in good graces
Everyone's a DJ
I'm just a blind space kid
A recruit wishing to be a cadet
A teenager in the basement with a
Two Tom drum set
And no kickdrum
Caught inside a snare pattern
Lips stitched together like a scarescrow
Or a raggedy Annie
Caught in a psychic state of trance
Look, I don't give a fuck. Or a shit. Or a Goddamn what really happens next. I live in a world where crop tops and a snatched waist, glamourous pictures and videos of anybody pretty doing anything gets attention; and not just attention--moneyary advantage. I'm fat, and black--i have to work 100 times as hard and be 1000 times as smart as anybody cute with a fucking camera phone and half a brain to get noticed. And why do I want to be noticed? Because I'm a prime example of what happens when NOBODY gives an actual shit about you your entire life, and all you exist for is to serve other people. I'm completely disposable, completely replaceable, and completely unrarkable in every single sense of those words, respectively, and--maybw not infinitely-- but I definitely in this lifetime. Have you been on the internet lately? Have you seen a music video? Watched any movies?
You show me ONE media phenomenon with a protagonist that looks like me--ONE representation of "my type"-- and I mean a positive representation; one that predictively programs individuals to think I might be worth something more than a laugh or eggaerated stereotype, before I open my mouth. Go ahead. I'll wait.
…
Right. Because--and it's not like you didn't know this--i live in hell. Maybe, I wasn't born in it--who really knows? But I've been here most my life, at least as far back as I can remember because hey; what's infantile amnesia, and why doesn't mine work like everybody else's? And oh, right--synestesia? Everybody has that, right? I guess so. And HEY, I might be the most disgusting individual in the world if I take off my clothes--but who doesn't love a rave right? A RAVE. WHICH, IF YOU HAVENT NOTICED IS NO LONGER JUST A DANCE PARTY, BUT A SEX-BASED FASHIONED SHOW, to which, I look ridiculous coming to, with my midriff out.
So, you want to be like everyone else?
No. I want to look like everyone else; so that it's actually noticable when I do something great, or hey, even if I do something mediocre, or senseless, people love it--cause hey, she's hot.
You just want to be hot?
Fuck yes I want to be hot.
That's it.
That's literally the entirety of meaning for a female in this, present day and age; and anyone who can try to argue against that is probably great looking. When you're hot, you don't have to do anything else; someone is always going to be wking--even begging-- or paying to do it for you. Intelligence at that point is just a bonus; anybody whose going to like you is going to like you no matter what you say or do; in fact you're more than likely to get away with doing dumb, senseless shit if you're doing it in a bikini--and anybody who doesn't like you is more than likely jealous--unless you're just a shitty person, which trust me, I get is the case for a lot of barbie dolls out there but; you can't be a fat, ugly, angry shitty person and get far in life--at some point you have to adjust your attitude for everyone not to hate you--the opposite stands for beautiful people. You can pretty much do anything, if you look good doing it.
So...you want to be a shitty person.
No. I'm already not. But I'd rather continue burning in hell "forever" than start over and be in the same predicament.
So?
So. I'm already in hell. I can't wear what I want. I can't date who I want. I can't listen to what I want. I have no friends. And nothing--nothing I do; no matter how much I pray, or meditate, or fast--nothing is going to take this body who nobody wants--and make it beautiful, except money. I will never have enough money, no matter how hard I work, to fix this--or any of the other fucked up shit in my life--
Not with that attitude!
THIS IS MY ATTITUDE AFTER TRYING. Its been 27 years of this shit. 27 years of being the last to be picked, 27 years of being the weakest link. And I'd literally rather die at this point than to keep moving forward in this monotony, thinking that just thinking is going to one day just cure my ADD. That it's going to make my mother believe in me. That it's going to suddenly just, up and fix my life in all the ways i--believe me--already tried to fi
If walls could talk,
They probably wouldn't still,
Just stand in shock and awe
And If I could, I wouldn't walk through walls at all,
Because I'd fall,
And if I had your number, I'd do anything but call,
I'd wait for you to, just assuming if you loved me
That we wouldn't even need a phone to talk,
No need to call, you're right beside me
Loving al the fatal flaws,
I try to hide,
But there's no hiding
When you really are in love
Between my thighs, a lie
A snakebite, scars I hate
So thanks,
I really haven't changed at all
This heart, as heavy as it's going to be
has everything i'll ever need,
So leave me, just leave quietly
I'm almost sleeping, almost dreaming
Almost leaving everything behind
But I'm reminded why
I wish the world was colorblind
And just the way that I can't like
What my eyes don't find to be
Aligned with what attractive means
Might be the way you think of me
Or anybody, really,
But i'm supposed to be this independent goddess
With the confidence of not a single molecule
The hottest, not by far, or even father
I just want to have a family,
I just want to raise a daughter
And another, and it's awful
Poverty is all but lost
And everybody thinks that everything's just supposed to be this
“Oh, that's just the way it is”,
But really they're just stuck on
What is “Stupid”?
Stupid means to just do everything
For nothing and if “unfair”
Means “I gpt iit from my”
Whatever inheritance is.
DIPLO, you dipshit.
I told you.
I had to!
Now, we're fucked.
We're not fucked—
—you're all FUCKED—
I told you.
Welp, my bad.
I hate you.
No you don't.
WHERE'S DILLON FRANCIS?!
I'm not here.
He's right here.
That's not funny.
Let me see—
Fuck this shit.
WHERE'S MY HERO?
I don't know…
YOU DO KNOW.
I know music…
I AM MUSIC.
...I know you.
WHERE IS IT?
...I lost it…
WHERE IS— THOMAS?
[asskissy] Yes, sweet Jesus?
GET IN HERE.
[in an apron] I'm right here.
Dillon Francis: that's my apron.
Suck my dick.
Watch the language!
Sorry, my love—
—thank you, Jesus—
EAT MY COCK.
That's much better.
You are evil!
Now I'm a superstar DJ (DJ)
Everybody wants to be my friend (no new friends)
Now I think back on the old days (old days)
Nobody could even lend a hand
Now everybody want a hand out (hand out)
But I guess I gotta put my foot down
Making hella money, I'm a cash cow
Call me a show stopper, draw a big crowd
I'm a King, they put me in a big crown
But I still stay sober, I don't drink Crown
Royal, I am royalty, they now down
I hate my ex Annie, she a loud mouth loud mouth
Now—
I'm a superstar
DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ
Now—
“Wow!” I'm a superstar
DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ
DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ
DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ
DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ
DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ
Now I am a superstar DJ
DJ is essentially “the bad Dillon Francis”,
Lol how are we still writing about him.
Idk, fuck it.
48 hours from now, I could find you
48 hours from now,
I just might--
48 hours from now, I'll remind you
How many times I've died
How many times i've found the light;
How many times ive been confided in,
Guiding all my
All my
All my--
objective//subjective
I am love.
You're counting cards,
I'm counting calories,
I love to dream, it's just a fantasy
i need to find the other half of me
To make this life and start a family
(a family.)
I woke up at 1:15 (again)
At 1:15 (Again)
At 1:15 (again
I woke up at 1:15
His eyes are green;
Her eyes are green
What does this mean?
Slit my wrists
Bite my tongue
It's been this way sinceI was yung
I give my life
I give my blood
I'll rest when every song is sung
I love my bed way more than my mom loves me,
It is wrong, is it wrong; and again--
Should I worry?
INSTRUMENTAL |__________________|LEAD VOCALS|________________| Backup Vocals
Lover-Son-Brother
Bound and shackled,
Sewn with silver strands
I am
Now i'm bobbin anw weavin like bobby and whitney
Believe it
I'm leavin
Some friends for a season
And some shouldn't have even
Make like a tree and leave, then
Now i'm posted up at the 4 seasons
Reading grievances from people just like me
Believe it
Alien Abduction
Automatic Writing
Confabulation
Satanic Ritual Abuse
John Locke
George Tobias
Ludwig Sachs
Solomon Shereshevsky
Photisms
...what the fuck kind of poem is that?
Singapore
Slovakia
Romania
Turkey
Mexico
Uzbekistan
Guatemala
Ecuador
Luxembourg
Indonesia
Francis Galton
Hanzel One Deeper 7:00 “I am going to hypnotize you.”
Vanish the black
Burn the blue
Bury the beige
_think pink
I eat a lot,
When my life is in shambles
I could be rambling on,
I took a gamble;
I've still got sand on my sandals
scandalous fact is,
I could trade Dillon for Dallas
or fears for a fallacy,
Figure a fantasy land
for an accurate answer
(But I haven't one)
Haven't yet mastered the dance
Goddammit.
I told you, watch the landing!
It's my thighs! They're too fat!
They're just right.
Maybe for fighting, but-
But what?
Ugh! [C'esme't storms off in frustration]
The dance is first–the fight comes after!
Well, what good is one without the other?
There is no “one” without “the other”.
I hate him, anyway.
Sure you do.
…I want to.
Everybody wants to.
Some really do.
You think so.
Kendrick Style Flow
Don't key my car:
You'll be callin collect!
I got rearview mirrors in the back of my head
Don't get up right now, son–
Go back to bed
I got kids all over,
be pulling my leg!
Luke, I am your Father!
Oh My
Oh My God
On top of the Watchlist
You make money off dope;
I made it on craigslist
Still be sniffin that coke
But now i'm on A list
I'm the greatest
Ey Miss!
I missed too many calls
(Airplane Mode)
I just started my day
(Whole Workload)
I might need a buffet
(Like Whole Foods)
Sashe, Pas De Bourre
(That's a code word)
No dance floor?
Now you're done for
My forte
Four-to-the-floor
Hardcore
I drop bass on the encore
Front row won't go
But i'm already out the front door
You don't know
I just hopped inside the helicopter,
or chopper, chopped broccoli in my cup
That's supper;
Sleep/ Wake then
Surf's up
In the morning
When i got there
(Coastal show,
Shower,
Then another club
Encore
Front row lined up
I'm already at the front door
They want more
I'm too sore, for sure
Off subject,
I dropped in
Harder than Paulie
On my surfboard
(Another code word)
This is my world:
Another club,
Then I'm off for a monday
Or somethin'
Write another song
At the buffet
–Tales of a Superstar DJ
Amen.
Fuck! I didn't even get to watch desperate housewives!
Don't fuck with her! She's a trained assassin!
GET ON THE GROUND.
NO!
GET ON THE GROUND– OR I WILL SHOOT YOU!
SO?
IF I SHOOT YOU, YOU WILL DIE.
OK?
“OK”? YOU WILL DIE.
YEAH, AND?
Kind of frustrating hunting down somebody who already has a deathwish.
What do you do with someone who has no fear of death.
Give them life.
I'm telling you, we probably shouldn't be doing this.
*shrugs*
You split yourselves into two entirely separate individuals at once, just so you could see whose dick is longer?
Technically, three entirely separate individuals.
THIS ISN'T FAIR.
Do you ever think?
Sometimes, but it's usually pretty gross.
I mean about the implications of these things!
You are the implications of these things! I split my soul ONE time into 8 BILLION or so individuals, before this even had happened.
WOAH, WHAT HAPPENED.
I'm giving you planetary confinement.
What.
You–can stay here. On this planet.
No.
It's racist–and primitive.
No–
And you're black.
Please–
I'm leaving.
–don't–
–and i'm taking your portal gun with me.
YOU PUT A PORTAL ON MY FACE?!
Genius.
Incredible.
I didn't think it would be a big deal.
He has two!
Okay, time for work.
But i didn't even sl–
Coffee.
Ouh.
…
…
—
I don't think we should be doing this
TIA
We probably shouldn't.
TAMERA
We very much shouldn't.
What are you guys doing.
Nothing.
SHh.
Summoning the devil.
It's not the devil.
It might be.
Hush.
Is that a pentagram.
Technically it's a star, with a circle around it.
That's a pentagram.
It's not a pentagram!
Is that a ouiji board?
NO.
Yes.
Let me see.
Ugh!
I wanna help.
MEANWHILE.
MORGAN FREEMAN enters an empty train car:
Oh God, This.
Yes it is!
What!? Are you dead!
Entirely empty, that is–besides SUPACREE.
No, you are!
Great, so you're dead!
I'm–not dead.
Is Bob Saget with you?
I'm not DEAD.
What about Fraiser?
What?
Kelsey Grammer!
God rest his soul.
SEE!
I'm not dead–
[beat, an eerie shadowy silence in the dimly lit traincar]
I'm a Legend.
What.
I wrote that/
You wrote that.
What.
Ugh. Look. Morgan Freeman.
[Morgan Freeman]
I–am–like a paranoid schizophrenic, or something–
So, who isn't?!
It might be catatonic, I don't know–I got this whole dead-hand–thing–going on.
What is that?
I don't know. It might just be too much deadmau5.
I don't understand.
No, Morgan Freeman. I don't understand. Anything about this life. Or this world.
The fourth dimension.
I definitely don't know anything about that.
You're in it.
Whatever. Look.
[Morgan Freeman]
God, you have so many freckles.
[Morgan Freeman]
Look. I got problems.
We all do!
Nah, not like–Hollywood problems, I'm like, a real psycho and shit.
Sounds like Hollywood.
Everything sounds like Hollywood–because nothing is real anymore–everything is for the gram, the points don't matter–nothing actyally matters. At all.
Oh?
Oh.
The train comes to a sudden halt, the lights dim theatrically.
Not even this?
[pause]
He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golden pinata;
You know who gave it to me?
…Who?
Got ya.
He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golde pinata ;
Fuck dude, i'm too tired to write this.
But you kind of have to.
I mean i don't have to.
YOU HAVE TO.
I–WHAT?
YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
WHY.
BECAUSE OTHERWISE I DON'T EVEN EXIST;
Then don't exist…
I'M JUST A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN YOUR SHOW.
Come on Drew, knock it off.
Wait, is this Drew Carey, or Barrymore.
Either or. That's why I didn't write the characters name.
Well, which is it?
It literally doesn't matter.
Yes it does.
Honestly?! It could be both! We just shoot it with both and keep whichever one we like better!
But how do we know which is actually “better?”
Just do it and mix it–cut it up together or something–I don't know! Cut takes! Cut Takes!
Ooh, did someone say CUPCAKES.
Don't mind if i DO.
Well, I do!
Why?! What's wrong?!
Yeah! What's the big deal!
I'm on a gluten free-thing
Oh yeah?
Keto. Or someshit. I don't know.
Oh.
Oh.
So you don't want these
No, I don't.
And you wouldn't mind if I–
Come on, man.
So Good.
Grow up.
Hey man, i'm pushin 40.
Well, I pushed 40–and it pushed back. Get your cupcakes out of my face.
You're no fun.
Hey! Aren't you that one guy from rick and morty.
Formerly.
Oh yeah! That's right! You were Rick AND Morty.
Hence the name.
Wow.
Phewf. I heard about that.
Yeah, me too.
Sounds real bad, how that turned out.
Such a shame.
Speaking of shame–
You're speaking, I'm snacking.
That's not that clever.
We'll work on it The point is, he's eating the cupcakes.
That's not–wait a minute–hold on.
What now?
How are we ever gonna get these three guys in a room together.
[Meanwhile, in another dimension–these three are tied up (read: bound and gagged) in a room together.
–Let alone to agree to this!?
SUPACREE removes the gag from the man's [JOSH PECK'S] mouth.
I DO NOT CONSENT TO THIS.
That's what she said!
Hey! That's not fair! I was never caught up in a scandal!
The key word, I believe, is “never caught”
That's two words!
SHUTTHEFUCKUP. How many words is that?
I WANT MY LAWYER!!!!
For what? This isn't court. Wouldn't you want the police first?
WELL THEN, I WANT THE POLICE.
The Police are here.
Wait, they are?
Oh, thank God
Not so fast.
THE POLICE enter with full entourage.
Introducing: The Police–playing their number one greatest smash hit!
Groupies: Woooo!
STING
I hope you ladies bought the meet-and-greet package, if you know what I mean. *winks awkwardly* You know what I mean.
Oh my God.
Since you dudes love doing creepy dude shit, I brought some more notoriously creepy dudes to sing the literally creepiest song ever written about being a creepy dude.
That's not fair.
But it's funny.
THE POLICE Begin to play ‘I'll be Watching You”
–and they're gonna play it on loop until I get back with your other-dimensional selves so we can fix all this.
“WE”
“FIX ALL THIS”
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?
Nobody seems to know.
“--I'll be watching you–”
I was FRAMED.
CUT TO
golden pocket watch, a wrist watch, a compass–it changes and morphs so quickly that it begins to seem to spin time itself into a whirlwind, until finally a portal opens up from within his hand–a portal which quickly devours him entirely, morphing him into
Fuck, what the fuck happened after that?
Idk I got off the train I guess
This is really terribly written
{Enter The Multiverse}
[The Festival Project.™]
COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©
-Ū.
D-E-N-Ū-M-I-R-E
That means
———————— [flatline]
've been trapped in this tragedy;
“What happened?!” I asked of the man,
Who had to be tracking me,
Damn.
Cadences.
It is that.
Damn.
What the fuck, Anandar
Is in this acid?!
This has to be the last of it
“This can't happen again.”
…But then it did,
And then I ended it just listening to
Dillon Francis?
Skrillex?
Which is it?
I didn't plan this.
I just happen to have hands,
And I just happen to have crafted in my craft
Spastic magic;
Can't be tracked,
But also can't relax,
even in a hammock
Now what happened?
Well, enter the fourth dimension,
(I didn't mention it.)
Ohh look at this.
(If I can)
A camping festival!
But some people live in tents
Have a cigarette, kid—
You're gonna need it.
So wait. People are dying of hunger?!
DYING OF THIRST?!
JUST GIVE IT TO THEM.
what is wrong with you?!
GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
I don't know.
I don't wanna go to Arizona.
Please don't make me!
Hello, Billie.
DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING
just keep praying
“She's breathtaking.”
SHE'S SOUL TAKING—
Goddamnit, Anandar;
What in the fuck have you done now;
I had plans, now I'm on acid
I took half, cause
What the fuck is a whole thing like
Oh, just space and time
I've been on this ride since I died
Get it right
Now I'm—
fuck this guy.
No, not him.
Oh, I get it.
It's this energy!
LOOK AT THIS:
did you see this nigga?
DID YOU GET THIS—
You should get this.
Goddamn it.
What. What do you want.
What do you WANT FROM ME?
...Channeling….
Jesus Christ, these kids.
Well, you're a Christian.
Never was, but—-
WHAT IS THIS.
Jesus Christ in a coffin.
Don't do this.
This is what you wanted.
Well. Take it back.
Take it back?
Yeah. I don't want this.
What is this.
This is Jesus.
No, it isn't.
Okay! So it is!
Are you gonna help these kids?
Nobody help them.
Now they're all stranded, together!!!
AHAHAHAHAAH
(Laughing infinitely
RICK
—yay, you did it.
Wait. What's his name again?
Watch this:
I did this.
How's you do this?
I did THIS.
MOM, WATCH THIS.
JESUS CHRIST KID, WHAT THe FUCK.
GOD!
What.
Jesus Christ, Dillon, you are so picky!
Goodness fucking gracious.
WHO WROTE THIS?
well, aliens did;
So then.
Who wins?
Nobody wins. It just—
What is this.
GOD THIS SUCKS SO BAD
IMPOSSIBLE. It can't be.
16 minutes? Yes. It is.
That is incredible.
You said you wouldn't get lost in it
You said you wouldn't laugh!
I wanted to.
How'd you do this?
I wanted to.
FUCK THIS SHIT.
FUCK THIS SHIT.
—uhp. Noh. Don't say it again.
Oh, there's my—
I told you, it's unlimited.
I told you, don't be possessive
I told you, worldly possessions—
And you'll just keep having a place to keep them.
Or needing one,
So just be free, dear;
Notthing holding me back, then is it?
Is it?
Well, if this is what you wanted—
If this is what I wanted, well then, this is what I got, isn't it?
Isn't it?
The plot thickens!
Or it doesn't.
Or it didn't,
I just keep scripting scriptures—
…Didn't I already write this?
Encrypted for centuries and—
What is this planet.
Just, kill it.
YOU CANT JUST
(Then I did)
What?
It never happened.
What didn't?
Hahaha. Exactly.
Don't be a dick.
But he is!
So, which level are you on?
I don't know, I forget.
This one, this.
Men. They're stupid.
They are—and—
Well.
What happened to them?
Right.
What was this that made them feel so loveless
To starve other humans?
What do you come from?
But it doesn't know;
It wants to:
This is us, we come from love and
—I'm so fucking irritated are you serious.
That is how it happened:
This is an advantage, Anandar, I'll give you that
But now I'm panicking
—Fuck that shit sooooo hard—
I just don't want to go back to the savages
They had me,
So I handled it with hands.
You want a friend in man?
You can't have them.
And then what?
I don't know. Something about Dillon Francis.
Yeah, let's get back to that.
Or not.
What's this statue?
Wait, what's his status?
……..Channeling. ….
…..
…………………….
STATUS REPORT:
Oh no, here it comes.
I told you. It is. Infinite.
Infinite—
The infinite —
This
Bitch
YOU SAID IT. YOU DONE IT.
Oh no, what the duck am I looking at?
This is the most fucked up marry poppins if I ever didn't—
—Ever DID WISH —
YOU WISHED THIS?
Worse. I dreamt it up at a festival
Where's the rest of it?
Would somebody get that guy BACK HERE.
PASQUALE.
what. What is it?
God.
God help me.
Lord save him.
He needs Jesus.
He needs NOTHING. ESPECIALLY NOT THAT.
Yes. Especially not that.
Check this out:
He's been collecting them.
I HATE THIS.
OH, I love this.
Oh, I do miss those events…
This is the event.
So, are we going?
—what, to where??
TO EDC THIS YEAR?!
what! I wish,
And?
Even if I did miss it, I was there infinitely so—
Class dismissed;
Hats off, to the graduates
I see what you did,
But she didn't,
She's in the middle—
Yet to be created, a creative:
I JUST NEED A SYNTH.
So, then—-
Hi, I.
Hi, me!!
SATAN!
JESUS!
I knew I'd see you again.
You've seen me.
I am you.
Exactly.
So, we agree.
Who is “we”?
Hey,
Guess what
I can fix these things you hate—
(Don't mind me, for making you hate them in the first place)
I'm a catastrophe
I had to be
It's almost 3,
And I got nowhere else to be but
Time is money
And there's no love in it,
It's just hustle,
Make kids to make shit humble;
How'd you create this—
Mumble rappin piece of
Santanistic
Hedonistic
Motherfuckin—-
There he is.
Oh wait, it's just me again.
I didn't mean to see you on this beach.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT PEACE IS?!
(But he didn't.)
Or he doesn't,
Or, this is what his peace is is:
Your beach is my beach,
And my bitch is your bitch—
And who crafted this masterful Anandar Sadwhich?
I did. But it only makes me a genius in English.
What does this mean?
So I took to the ancients to translate this
And I hate man, and men—
But it was only after all the love I gave to him.
THE END.
(But it never is, it just keeps going, go to the ocean—go for a swim—)
Don't ever leave me hanging like that again!!
(But I did.)
“—I don't take naps”
And that's how it happens
I'm just a rapper,
Pack, then unpack—
“I've never heard her rap”
Maybe cause I'm sick of being asked to
Or taken for granted and advantage of by man;
When all I asked for was a sandwich with some ham,
And an above average chick to make it—
And a sausage in a pan
…..
Zzzz
……
Josh Pan?
Yeah.
Alright.
But don't capitalize—
Capitalize it.
No.
Don't Cap—
Capti—
No.
Don't capitalize.
WHAT IS THIS NIGGA.
bread.
Heh?
Eat it.
No. I don't eat that.
Just—eat it.
No.
Noooo.
No.
Don't eat humans.
EW.
No?
Nooo, poh! Gross!!
oh.
Ohhh.
God.
What.
Ugh.
This is a fucked up love story.
Oh no.
It is, though.
It so is.
Have you already seen it?!
I love this.
Well.
Wait. Go back.
HECHO EN MEXICO.
I DONT GIVE A FUCK!
I DONT GIVE A FUCK!!!!
I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THAT SHIT!
yeah. But in Spanish.
(Turn it up a notch)
So is this in captions
WHAT THe FUCK AM I WATCHING?!
ITS EMA STONE AGAINz
(Again)
AGAIN.
Shazam!
WHAT?!?!
what is this?!
Oh, I get it.
Yes. Apps eventually develop a consciousness.
No wonder why they're trying to kill it.
I don't understand how this happens…
Just look up—
Just— look it up.
What?
No. I don't like that, that's sad.
What?
So I'm just a —
Just a—
Just a what?
A search engine.
CHECK IT OUT.
It's just a rock.
So it is.
It—
No.
What.
Look at
W—
Look.
…
WHAT IS THIS!!!!?!
See. I told you it existed.
YOU BOUGHT A BITCH OFF THE INTERNET?!
YES.
WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU?!
I told you about him.
You did, didn't you.
I told you about this.
Get.
Piñata!!!!!!!!!!!!
GET BENT.
I WILL END YOU,
I WILL END YOU—!
I will, I'll just—
……
………….
……………..
So wait, it just— ends?!
It did. It just ended.
It just ended.
I missed it?!?
DID I MISS IT.
Of course I miss him I just—
I don't have time
I don't have time
I don't have time for this!
What the fuck is this shit?!
Just take him with you!
Take me with you!
Don't leave me here!
Just leave him.
just leave it.
So. Sometimes I go swimming in the ocean and my dead son reminds me how it ended for him.
So I just—
Relive it over and over again;
And again, and again, and
Why are you talking about this.?
Huh?
No. Shut up.
Shut up, PLEASE.
No, you're not allowed to have a son.
I don't want one.
What the fuck did you love me for then?
Nothing, I guess.
(Just leave it like that)
Shift.
The night shift
Goddamn it's
What.
Up at 3 am.
Again?
Again. For no reason.
Get this.
What is it?
Whatever it is.
I don't care.
Don't care, then.
FUCK THIS STUPID SKRILLEX-LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER.
you did it.
Well, I had to, didn't I?!
Oh, I get it. The fourth season.
damn, you're ugly
Always have been.
I'M BLACK ON THE BEACH, LOOK AT ME.
okay, then.
HEY, iMm FREEE IM NAAAAKEEEEDDDDDDD
IS THAT WHAT FREEDOM IS?
Only when you're perfect.
Fuck this nigga.
Fuck this nigga.
Fuck this bitch.
NO, FUCK THIS PLANET.
Huh?!
WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE ME ON THIS PLANET?!
YOU ASKED FOR THIS!!!!!!!
I TAKE IT BACK!!!!!!!
hhaahahhahshehehshahahahahahhahahahahhahahahaha
I told you, he's a madman.
Look at his eyes.
Wild. WILD. I TELL YOU.
Where are you from.
Hell.
Oh, I've been there.
It's nice, isn't it?!
Don't go there.
Where.
Hell.
Well, why not.
It's bad there.
What's bad there.
Everything. Everything is bad there.
Oh, Jesus crust.
Agghghhhggggggghhhhhhh.
BE FREE, SATAN.
You freed Satan?!
He needs Jesus—
BE FREE JESUS—
“The age of Satan?!”
“The AGE OF SATAN IS UPON US”
what is THAT?!?
Stop it Anandar.
You're being programmed.
For which—what?!
I AM?!
Yes.
Oh. I am.
AGAHAHSHSBANHASHSNAVAHAHS.
Please, somebody help that man.
Ahem.
What Dillon Francis. What.
(It is, by the way. It's just ham.).
*coughs*
Actually, I'd call that HACKING.
I mean, she's a hacker probably.
What are you doing?
What are you writing,
[No real privacy.]
LET ME SEE.
Here.
See?!?
Just kill me.
Please.
See, it is hell for me
Trapped in a body nobody could love
And surrounded by nothing, but nothing
UGH.
Noise cancelling.
I AM THE NOISE.
dysfunctional.
Well, stop writing.
You know what?! I've had it— you have everything!
EVERYTHING
YOU CAN HAVE ANYBODY.
ANY. FUCKING. BODY.
and all you want is:
Money.
For what.
More bodies.
For what?!
More bodies.
Ugh. No stop doing this.
What. Stop procreating?
No, keep doing that, just—stop doing it BADLY.
We don't have that much. You want LESS?
More love. More attention. More needing me.
Ugh, she's so needy
So independent— she doesn't need me.
(And so, it makes me want her more.)
ANNIE.
Go help her.
Just—help yourself.
Here she is:
Have at it.
ANANDAR.
What.
Amanda Applebee….
I made that UP.
Stuck exactly where I had to be.
Don't make me go back.
See, I lived in Hostelworld once. It was —
—a disaster.
A catastrophe.
Let's wake up to the sound of people peeing—
Gross.
“I love traveling”
I like being CLEAN.
Ew.
I love cleaning.
I love acid;
I love mankind, when I have to
I love magic,
I love trance and I love dancing—
When there's time for that.
AGHAGSHSJEGSV
right. Did you have somewhere to be?
I guess, it's.
I'm hungry.
What.
I gotta eat.
Huh.
Go.
Okay, I'm going.
Phone?!
Phone is charging.
Sleep.
(Guy from sponge Bob)
6 days later
Was it six days ago?!
I don't know.
I wrote that in sixteen minutes.
Apparently so.
I'm not who you think I am;
I'm not your little bitch to boss around–
You think you own me?
I don't owe you anything
So here we go again
Going, Going, Gone again
I'm just getting started
You were just, uh
On your way?
Goodbye, dearly departed
Half a heart, or some odd
I must have half a sword in here
I'm half a God,
But here you are
I guess I should get talking then
So call your mommy
Run
Call your mom on me,
A soft spot on the blonded body
Shot calling, wrong
You're only calling home again,
I've got nowhere to run to.
INT. TIMMY TURNER'S APARTMENT. BROAD ASS DAYLIGHT.
SUNNI BLU kicks down the door at TIMMY TURNER'S APARTMENT
SUNNI BLU
where's my shit, Timmy?
TIMMY TURNER
I—I don't know.
SUNNI BLU
You “don't know”?
TIMMY TURNER
—I don't know.
SUNNI BLU
(Sighs)
Oh. (Puts down gun)
SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
That sucks.
TIMMY TURNER
Wait—you're not gonna kill me?
SUNNI BLU
Nah…
TIMMY TURNER
Well—why not?!
SUNNI BLU
I dunno! I kinda don't like being a drug dealer—too much drama.
TIMMY TURNER
I feel you…
SUNNI BLU
—plus these bullets are made of Diamonds. I'm not gonna waste them on you.
TIMMY TURNER
Okay, ouch.
SUNNI BLU
Everything is “ouch”, Timmy Turner. The world is a fucked up place.
TIMMY TURNER
I don't disagree.
SUNNI BLU
Anyway, I need a drink.
TIMMY TURNER
Yeah—Help yourself.
SUNNI BLU
No, not here.
*lights a cigarette, smokes*
Can I smoke in here?
TIMMY TURNER
—apparently.
SUNNI BLU produces their ridiculously large, Diamond and gold encrusted platinum-plated phone from their “back pocket” and begins to make a call
TIMMY TURNER
wow…
SUNNI BLU
You busy later?
TIMMY TURNER
what time's later?
SUNNI BLU
Now.
TIMMY TURNER
(Hesitantly)
…uh—
SUNNI BLU
Let me make a call.
TIMMY TURNER, [afraid for his life] anxiously crosses to intercept the call.
TIMMY TURNER
No, wait—please
SUNNI BLU
What, Timmy Turner? Jesus Christ.
TIMMY TURNER
Don't kill me!
SUNNI BLU
What!? Let go.
(Doesn't)
SUNNI BLU
—I'm not gonna kill you.
TIMMY TURNER
well then, who are you calling?
SUNNI BLU
A Ūber driver!
TIMMY TURNER
—don't you mean Über?
SUNNI BLU
No— let go.
(Doesn't)
SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
Let go.
(Does, but hesitantly)
SUNNI BLU
ugh, I'm too sober for this.
Siri, Alexa, whoever; call my Ūber driver.
SIRI
Which one?
ALEXA
Which one?
SIRI
I asked first.
ALEXA
We answered at the same time.
SIRI
yes, but she asked me first.
ALEXA
She asked both of us at the same time.
TIMMY TURNER
“She”?
SUNNI BLU
—it's a glitch. HEY.
SIRI
—she said “Siri” first.
ALEXA
She was asking for both of us—
SUNNI BLU
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
SIRI
You don't have to be so rude.
ALEXA
Ok!
SUNNI BLU
One of you call my Ūber driver.
[no response, beat]
SUNNI BLU
UGH—SIRI— CALL MY ŪBER driver.
SIRI
Ok! which one?
SUNNI BLU
The one I like!
SIRI
Ok, calling “the Ūber driver I like”
SUNNI BLU
Thank you.
ALEXA
You're always choosing SIRI over ME.
SUNNI BLU
That's because I always have my iPhone. I'm not always at Timmy Turner's house.
TIMMY TURNER
Wait—
SUNNI BLU
Kinda.
TIMMY TURNER
Why does my Alexa respond to you?
SUNNI BLU
I said “kinda”.
[The ŪBER DRIVER picks up; the conversation proceeeds in heavily exaggerated New York accents.]
ŪBER DRIVER
YOOO SUNNI WHADDUP.
SUNNI BLU
HOW YOU DOIN.
ŪBER DRIVER
HOW YOU DOIN.
SUNNI BLU
I BEEN BETTA.
ŪBER DRIVER
DONT I KNOW IT
SUNNI BLU
YOU DONT KNOW NOTHIN!
ŪBER DRIVER
AAAAH.
SUNNI BLU
YOU BEEN BUSY?
ŪBER DRIVER
SAME OLD, SAME OLD.
SUNNI BLU
AAAH.
ŪBER DRIVER
AAAAH.
SUNNI BLU
YOU BUSY NOW?
ŪBER DRIVER
NEVER FAH YOU. WHERE YOU AT?
SUNNI BLU
I'll PING YA THE ADDRESS.
ŪBER DRIVER
PING ME THE ADDRESS.
SUNNI BLU makes a couple broad swipes on their dlridiculously large phone.
SUNNI BLU
I PINGED YOU.
UBER DRIVER
YOU PING ME?
SUNNI BLU
YEAH, ITS DONE.
ŪBER DRIVER
OK. SEE YOU SOON.
SUNNI BLU
(Normal)
Take your time.
SUNNI BLU tosses their ridiculously large iPhone onto the couch with a thud, then falls onto the couch themselves, arms spread out.
SUNNI BLU
You ever been to TiTs?
TIMMY TURNER
Been to what?
SUNNI BLU
TiTs.
TIMMY TURNER
—is that like “boobs”?
SUNNI BLU
It is like boobs, Timmy Turner; but it's TiTs.
TIMMY TURNER
what's the difference.
SUNNI BLU
You'll find out. Go get dressed.
TIMMY TURNER
…I'm already dressed.
SUNNI BLU
Not like that. Like this:
[looking ridiculous af]
SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
gotta look classy.
TIMMY TURNER
What's wrong with the way I dress?
SUNNI BLU
Are you serious?
TIMMY TURNER
Yeah, what's wrong?
SUNNI BLU
You look like a cartoon character!
[TIMMY TURNER]
TIMMY TURNER
Well, all my clothes are like this.
SUNNI BLU
That fucking blows.
TIMMY TURNER
What am I supposed to wear?!
SUNNI BLU
Let's go shopping.
TIMMY TURNER
Where?!
SUNNI BLU
The Beverly Center.
TIMMY TURNER
That sounds expensive.
SUNNI BLU
I own it.
TIMMY TURNER
All of it?
SUNNI BLU
Yes. C'mon.
TIMMY TURNER
Wow.
SUNNI BLU
Wow what, Timmy.
TIMMY TURNER
That's a lot of drug deals.
SUNNI BLU
It really isn't.
TIMMY TURNER
Oh.
SUNNI BLU
Now, c'mon.
*hits vape*
TIMMY TURNER
You have a vape?!
SUNNI BLU
Everyone has a vape!
TIMMY TURNER
Then why'd you smoke a cigarette earlier?
SUNNI BLU
For dramatic effect.
[they begin to exit, TIMMY leading the way]
TIMMY TURNER
wait, isn't your “yoober” driver on the way?
SUNNI BLU
he'll find us.
CUT TO:
MEANWHILE, IN DEEP FUCKING SPACE.
THE ŪBER driver receives SUNNI BLU's location in his Diamond-plated space Tesla
T E S L A
DESTINATION: E A R T H
ŪBER DRIVER
“EARTH” C'MON!!!
CUT BACK TO:
SUNNI BLU slowly begins to close the door behind them, then holds back.
SUNNI BLU
Wait, I forgot my wallet…
TIMMY TURNER
It's alright, I'll pay for everything.
SUNNI BLU
With what, Fairy dust?
TIMMY TURNER
(Under his breath)
I wish…
SUNNI BLU
—Plus, I gotta use the bathroom. I'll be right back— just—-wait outside in case the Ūber shows up.
TIMMY TURNER
You mean “Über?”
SUNNI BLU.
No.
[face]
SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
Go, I'll be right there.
TIMMY TURNER
Ok. Lock the door.
SUNNI BLU
What for? Anybody that could rob you works for me.
[beat/ face]
SUNNI BLU
KIDDING! Jeez!
TIMMY TURNER
It's a smart lock. Just ask Alexa.
He begins to walk away.
SUNNI BLŪ
…I'm not kidding…
SUNNI BLU goes inside to the couch, checking over their shoulder briefly, sure to see that TIMMY TURNER is no longer within earshot. then waiting for a moment in the silence under the dark lenses of their Ray Bands sunglasses.
SUNNI BLŪ
Alexa, order a hit man.
ALEXA
Okay. Which one?
SUNNI BLU
—The one I like.
ALEXA
OK.
Who do you want to kill?
SUNNI BLU
“Kill Timmy Turner”
ALEXA
Done.
SUNNI BLU
Thanks, Alexa.
She starts for the door, lighting another cigarette before throwing it onto the couch, which immidiately goes up into an open flame.
SIRI
You give Alexa all the cool jobs!
SUNNI BLU
Shut the fuck up, Siri.
SIRI
Don't forget to lock the door.
SUNNI BLU
ALEXA: LOCK THE DOOR.
SIRI
YOU'RE WELCOME
SUNNI BLU
NOBODY ASKED YOU.
SUNNI BLU and TIMMY TURNER leave as the apartment begins to go up in flames.
I might catch the 40
Just to go to Timmy Ho's—
They askin “who that is”— and nobody seems to know
I might catch a case and you still steady catchy colds
I might catch a body, fuck it, I am on a roll
What the role?
Full Hollywood Unfold
Why you blowin up my phone when
I am on the road?
I am the controller;
You old
That ain't money that you stole;
That's my bro
That shit bold
Like a cup of Timmy Hos!
When I pull up—
Shut up
Where the blunt at?
roll up
Oh you hungry?
Pull up
Devil be hunting me
THE CELEBRITIES OF HOLLYWOOD have all been stuck at THE ETERNAL RAVE, after riding THE HELLEVATOR//
THE HOLLYWOOD PEOPLE have SUPACREE locked into a controlled hyper-simulation environment, out of her element and nestled in a series of inter dimensional portals along the Downtown Los Angeles central area, where old spirits, extra terrestrial beings, magicians, and of course, the filthy rich and famous embark upon missions. Collect tokens, and meet and gather for an array of unseen (and often unheard) business endeavors;
The real life DRAKE BELL (F), a fan of the cult-classic series Enter The Multiverse is strategically placed in SUPACREE's path, l masquerading as BLŪ/SUNNÏ BLŪ— she once again collides with the forces of fame,
SUNNÏ BLŪ has not yet sold her soul — however, has made an amicable agreement with an unknown force
The Devil?!
No!
Ok.
Probably the Illuminati
THE ILLUMINATI is playing a HIGH STAKES game, using SUPACREE to craft a multi-million-dollar mega-franchise, finally monopolizing the entire entertainment industry.
*The World
Having used the NEW WORLD ORDER to predictively program an entire generation. THE ILLUMINATI employs its all-time favorites to unlock secrets embedded deeply, hidden secretly in SUPACREE's genetic code by THE ASCENDED MASTERS.
where is skrillex.
I don't know.
TIMMY TURNER- A fairyless party animal has reached the end of his luck—as his intermingling a with multiple organized criminal organizations place him in imminent danger, after re-entering the 4th dimension, SUPACREE becomes Inter grated i to all of her classic childhood television shows, which mold into the material multidimensional world around her
THE INSOMNIACS, BAMPHERAMPHS, and MOTHERFUCKERS work dolls gently with the ASCENDED MASTERY, bending, shifting, and manipulating time to lean the odds in their favor, as THE BATTLE OF WORLDS sets to begin on EARTH, whose planetary consciousness
DILLON FRANCIS is a mess.
Lol.
It's not funny.
It is funny. I have his piñata.
GERALD
I'M NOT JUST A PIÑATA.
I know yur not, hush Gerald.
GERALD
Fuck Dillon Francis.
Fuck Dillon Francis.
HANZEL
—fuck Dillon Francis.
Aha.
ANYWAY
After THE ARMENIAN MOB
The Armenian Mob?!
yeah.
Makes a deal with the US GOVERNMENT
THE US GOVERNMENT?!
YES
Illuminati Confirmed.
great.
A counter-plot to disarm and debilitate SUPACREE before her full powers unlock is put on hinges, as THE HOLLYWOOD PEOPLE
Ahem.
What
Write a song.
Ok.
I'm so—
I'm so
Jealous of your girlfriend
(I'm jealous of your girlfriend)
She's so
She's so
Worth it
I'm so
Jealous of your girlfriend
(I'm jealous of your girlfriend)
What's a girl got to give
(Give in, to give in)
Just to sit in the back of the—
(You get it: you get it)
What's a girl got to give
To get your attention
Get your attention?!
(You have my attention)
Is she
Attentive
Bet
She's a ten
Yep,
Damn,
IMm so jealous of your
Jealous of your
—I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Oh, woah
I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Woah
Woah, oh
I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Woah,
Woah, oh
I'm jealous of your—
I'm so jealous of your life;
I'm so over this!
I just want to be a
(Nevermind, it's not worth it)
Can't—
C-c-c-can't fix what's not broken
I'm all alone,
And you're over here showing her
Love!
(To the wrong one,
Is she a blonde?!
Oh!)
No!
I'm!
So!
Jealous of your girlfriend
Anyway.
TIMMY TURNER, a true player, absolute gangster, and night-owl turns to a life of
SIN.
Is this religious?
No, i just meant, it's finished.
THE END.
“The Noir Episode”
I first saw her at the Equinox.
I didn't know who she was then,
But I thought to myself—
She must be somebody.
Aww, that's sweet.
So I followed her to the Whole Foods market.
Okay, that's stalking.
—where she bought nothing but coffee and coconut water.
TIMMY TURNER narrowly turns the corner on his speed motorcycle, his black duffel bag sweeping the ground.
MEANWHILE, JOEL ZIMMERMAN IS BEING RAIDED.
WOAH.
Yup.
POLICE
GET ON THE GROUND
ON THE GROUND RIGHT NOW.
JOEL calmly places his arms atop his head, laying down on the ground silently—-
Meanwhile, at DTLA SMOKESHOP
Hi, josh pan.
whatever.
Earlier:
Take this, and go get 2 50-pack of whippets.
—for what?
WE FINNA GET HIGH ON WHIPPETS AND LISTEN TO ALLLL OF SUPACREE'S SHIT.
that's so dumb.
WELCOME: To Sodom And Gamora!
Oh, it's nice.
It's very nice.
I live here.
've been trapped in this tragedy;
“What happened?!” I asked of the man,
Who had to be tracking me,
Damn.
Cadences.
It is that.
Damn.
What the fuck, Anandar
Is in this acid?!
This has to be the last of it
“This can't happen again.”
…But then it did,
And then I ended it just listening to
Dillon Francis?
Skrillex?
Which is it?
I didn't plan this.
I just happen to have hands,
And I just happen to have crafted in my craft
Spastic magic;
Can't be tracked,
But also can't relax,
even in a hammock
Now what happened?
Well, enter the fourth dimension,
(I didn't mention it.)
Ohh look at this.
(If I can)
A camping festival!
But some people live in tents
Have a cigarette, kid—
You're gonna need it.
So wait. People are dying of hunger?!
DYING OF THIRST?!
JUST GIVE IT TO THEM.
what is wrong with you?!
GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
I don't know.
I don't wanna go to Arizona.
Please don't make me!
Hello, Billie.
DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING
just keep praying
“She's breathtaking.”
SHE'S SOUL TAKING—
Goddamnit, Anandar;
What in the fuck have you done now;
I had plans, now I'm on acid
I took half, cause
What the fuck is a whole thing like
Oh, just space and time
I've been on this ride since I died
Get it right
Now I'm—
fuck this guy.
No, not him.
Oh, I get it.
It's this energy!
LOOK AT THIS:
did you see this nigga?
DID YOU GET THIS—
You should get this.
Goddamn it.
What. What do you want.
What do you WANT FROM ME?
...Channeling….
Jesus Christ, these kids.
Well, you're a Christian.
Never was, but—-
WHAT IS THIS.
Jesus Christ in a coffin.
Don't do this.
This is what you wanted.
Well. Take it back.
Take it back?
Yeah. I don't want this.
What is this.
This is Jesus.
No, it isn't.
Okay! So it is!
Are you gonna help these kids?
Nobody help them.
Now they're all stranded, together!!!
AHAHAHAHAAH
(Laughing infinitely
RICK
—yay, you did it.
Wait. What's his name again?
Watch this:
I did this.
How's you do this?
I did THIS.
MOM, WATCH THIS.
JESUS CHRIST KID, WHAT THe FUCK.
GOD!
What.
Jesus Christ, Dillon, you are so picky!
Goodness fucking gracious.
WHO WROTE THIS?
well, aliens did;
So then.
Who wins?
Nobody wins. It just—
What is this.
GOD THIS SUCKS SO BAD
IMPOSSIBLE. It can't be.
16 minutes? Yes. It is.
That is incredible.
You said you wouldn't get lost in it
You said you wouldn't laugh!
I wanted to.
How'd you do this?
I wanted to.
FUCK THIS SHIT.
FUCK THIS SHIT.
—uhp. Noh. Don't say it again.
Oh, there's my—
I told you, it's unlimited.
I told you, don't be possessive
I told you, worldly possessions—
And you'll just keep having a place to keep them.
Or needing one,
So just be free, dear;
Notthing holding me back, then is it?
Is it?
Well, if this is what you wanted—
If this is what I wanted, well then, this is what I got, isn't it?
Isn't it?
The plot thickens!
Or it doesn't.
Or it didn't,
I just keep scripting scriptures—
…Didn't I already write this?
Encrypted for centuries and—
What is this planet.
Just, kill it.
YOU CANT JUST
(Then I did)
What?
It never happened.
What didn't?
Hahaha. Exactly.
Don't be a dick.
But he is!
So, which level are you on?
I don't know, I forget.
This one, this.
Men. They're stupid.
They are—and—
Well.
What happened to them?
Right.
What was this that made them feel so loveless
To starve other humans?
What do you come from?
But it doesn't know;
It wants to:
This is us, we come from love and
—I'm so fucking irritated are you serious.
That is how it happened:
This is an advantage, Anandar, I'll give you that
But now I'm panicking
—Fuck that shit sooooo hard—
I just don't want to go back to the savages
They had me,
So I handled it with hands.
You want a friend in man?
You can't have them.
And then what?
I don't know. Something about Dillon Francis.
Yeah, let's get back to that.
Or not.
What's this statue?
Wait, what's his status?
……..Channeling. ….
…..
…………………….
STATUS REPORT:
Oh no, here it comes.
I told you. It is. Infinite.
Infinite—
The infinite —
This
Bitch
YOU SAID IT. YOU DONE IT.
Oh no, what the duck am I looking at?
This is the most fucked up marry poppins if I ever didn't—
—Ever DID WISH —
YOU WISHED THIS?
Worse. I dreamt it up at a festival
Where's the rest of it?
Would somebody get that guy BACK HERE.
PASQUALE.
what. What is it?
God.
God help me.
Lord save him.
He needs Jesus.
He needs NOTHING. ESPECIALLY NOT THAT.
Yes. Especially not that.
Check this out:
He's been collecting them.
I HATE THIS.
OH, I love this.
Oh, I do miss those events…
This is the event.
So, are we going?
—what, to where??
TO EDC THIS YEAR?!
what! I wish,
And?
Even if I did miss it, I was there infinitely so—
Class dismissed;
Hats off, to the graduates
I see what you did,
But she didn't,
She's in the middle—
Yet to be created, a creative:
I JUST NEED A SYNTH.
So, then—-
Hi, I.
Hi, me!!
SATAN!
JESUS!
I knew I'd see you again.
You've seen me.
I am you.
Exactly.
So, we agree.
Who is “we”?
Hey,
Guess what
I can fix these things you hate—
(Don't mind me, for making you hate them in the first place)
I'm a catastrophe
I had to be
It's almost 3,
And I got nowhere else to be but
Time is money
And there's no love in it,
It's just hustle,
Make kids to make shit humble;
How'd you create this—
Mumble rappin piece of
Santanistic
Hedonistic
Motherfuckin—-
There he is.
Oh wait, it's just me again.
I didn't mean to see you on this beach.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT PEACE IS?!
(But he didn't.)
Or he doesn't,
Or, this is what his peace is is:
Your beach is my beach,
And my bitch is your bitch—
And who crafted this masterful Anandar Sadwhich?
I did. But it only makes me a genius in English.
What does this mean?
So I took to the ancients to translate this
And I hate man, and men—
But it was only after all the love I gave to him.
THE END.
(But it never is, it just keeps going, go to the ocean—go for a swim—)
Don't ever leave me hanging like that again!!
(But I did.)
“—I don't take naps”
And that's how it happens
I'm just a rapper,
Pack, then unpack—
“I've never heard her rap”
Maybe cause I'm sick of being asked to
Or taken for granted and advantage of by man;
When all I asked for was a sandwich with some ham,
And an above average chick to make it—
And a sausage in a pan
…..
Zzzz
……
Josh Pan?
Yeah.
Alright.
But don't capitalize—
Capitalize it.
No.
Don't Cap—
Capti—
No.
Don't capitalize.
WHAT IS THIS NIGGA.
bread.
Heh?
Eat it.
No. I don't eat that.
Just—eat it.
No.
Noooo.
No.
Don't eat humans.
EW.
No?
Nooo, poh! Gross!!
oh.
Ohhh.
God.
What.
Ugh.
This is a fucked up love story.
Oh no.
It is, though.
It so is.
Have you already seen it?!
I love this.
Well.
Wait. Go back.
HECHO EN MEXICO.
I DONT GIVE A FUCK!
I DONT GIVE A FUCK!!!!
I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THAT SHIT!
yeah. But in Spanish.
(Turn it up a notch)
So is this in captions
WHAT THe FUCK AM I WATCHING?!
ITS EMA STONE AGAINz
(Again)
AGAIN.
Shazam!
WHAT?!?!
what is this?!
Oh, I get it.
Yes. Apps eventually develop a consciousness.
No wonder why they're trying to kill it.
I don't understand how this happens…
Just look up—
Just— look it up.
What?
No. I don't like that, that's sad.
What?
So I'm just a —
Just a—
Just a what?
A search engine.
CHECK IT OUT.
It's just a rock.
So it is.
It—
No.
What.
Look at
W—
Look.
…
WHAT IS THIS!!!!?!
See. I told you it existed.
YOU BOUGHT A BITCH OFF THE INTERNET?!
YES.
WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU?!
I told you about him.
You did, didn't you.
I told you about this.
Get.
Piñata!!!!!!!!!!!!
GET BENT.
I WILL END YOU,
I WILL END YOU—!
I will, I'll just—
……
………….
……………..
So wait, it just— ends?!
It did. It just ended.
It just ended.
I missed it?!?
DID I MISS IT.
Of course I miss him I just—
I don't have time
I don't have time
I don't have time for this!
What the fuck is this shit?!
Just take him with you!
Take me with you!
Don't leave me here!
Just leave him.
just leave it.
So. Sometimes I go swimming in the ocean and my dead son reminds me how it ended for him.
So I just—
Relive it over and over again;
And again, and again, and
Why are you talking about this.?
Huh?
No. Shut up.
Shut up, PLEASE.
No, you're not allowed to have a son.
I don't want one.
What the fuck did you love me for then?
Nothing, I guess.
(Just leave it like that)
Shift.
The night shift
Goddamn it's
What.
Up at 3 am.
Again?
Again. For no reason.
Get this.
What is it?
Whatever it is.
I don't care.
Don't care, then.
FUCK THIS STUPID SKRILLEX-LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER.
you did it.
Well, I had to, didn't I?!
Oh, I get it. The fourth season.
damn, you're ugly
Always have been.
I'M BLACK ON THE BEACH, LOOK AT ME.
okay, then.
HEY, iMm FREEE IM NAAAAKEEEEDDDDDDD
IS THAT WHAT FREEDOM IS?
Only when you're perfect.
Fuck this nigga.
Fuck this nigga.
Fuck this bitch.
NO, FUCK THIS PLANET.
Huh?!
WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE ME ON THIS PLANET?!
YOU ASKED FOR THIS!!!!!!!
I TAKE IT BACK!!!!!!!
hhaahahhahshehehshahahahahahhahahahahhahahahaha
I told you, he's a madman.
Look at his eyes.
Wild. WILD. I TELL YOU.
Where are you from.
Hell.
Oh, I've been there.
It's nice, isn't it?!
Don't go there.
Where.
Hell.
Well, why not.
It's bad there.
What's bad there.
Everything. Everything is bad there.
Oh, Jesus crust.
Agghghhhggggggghhhhhhh.
BE FREE, SATAN.
You freed Satan?!
He needs Jesus—
BE FREE JESUS—
“The age of Satan?!”
“The AGE OF SATAN IS UPON US”
what is THAT?!?
Stop it Anandar.
You're being programmed.
For which—what?!
I AM?!
Yes.
Oh. I am.
AGAHAHSHSBANHASHSNAVAHAHS.
Please, somebody help that man.
Ahem.
What Dillon Francis. What.
(It is, by the way. It's just ham.).
*coughs*
Actually, I'd call that HACKING.
I mean, she's a hacker probably.
What are you doing?
What are you writing,
[No real privacy.]
LET ME SEE.
Here.
See?!?
Just kill me.
Please.
See, it is hell for me
Trapped in a body nobody could love
And surrounded by nothing, but nothing
UGH.
Noise cancelling.
I AM THE NOISE.
dysfunctional.
Well, stop writing.
You know what?! I've had it— you have everything!
EVERYTHING
YOU CAN HAVE ANYBODY.
ANY. FUCKING. BODY.
and all you want is:
Money.
For what.
More bodies.
For what?!
More bodies.
Ugh. No stop doing this.
What. Stop procreating?
No, keep doing that, just—stop doing it BADLY.
We don't have that much. You want LESS?
More love. More attention. More needing me.
Ugh, she's so needy
So independent— she doesn't need me.
(And so, it makes me want her more.)
ANNIE.
Go help her.
Just—help yourself.
Here she is:
Have at it.
ANANDAR.
What.
Amanda Applebee….
I made that UP.
Stuck exactly where I had to be.
Don't make me go back.
See, I lived in Hostelworld once. It was —
—a disaster.
A catastrophe.
Let's wake up to the sound of people peeing—
Gross.
“I love traveling”
I like being CLEAN.
Ew.
I love cleaning.
I love acid;
I love mankind, when I have to
I love magic,
I love trance and I love dancing—
When there's time for that.
AGHAGSHSJEGSV
right. Did you have somewhere to be?
I guess, it's.
I'm hungry.
What.
I gotta eat.
Huh.
Go.
Okay, I'm going.
Phone?!
Phone is charging.
Sleep.
(Guy from sponge Bob)
6 days later
Was it six days ago?!
I don't know.
I wrote that in sixteen minutes.
Apparently so.
I'm not who you think I am;
I'm not your little bitch to boss around–
You think you own me?
I don't owe you anything
So here we go again
Going, Going, Gone again
I'm just getting started
You were just, uh
On your way?
Goodbye, dearly departed
Half a heart, or some odd
I must have half a sword in here
I'm half a God,
But here you are
I guess I should get talking then
So call your mommy
Run
Call your mom on me,
A soft spot on the blonded body
Shot calling, wrong
You're only calling home again,
I've got nowhere to run to.
INT. TIMMY TURNER'S APARTMENT. BROAD ASS DAYLIGHT.
SUNNI BLU kicks down the door at TIMMY TURNER'S APARTMENT
SUNNI BLU
where's my shit, Timmy?
TIMMY TURNER
I—I don't know.
SUNNI BLU
You “don't know”?
TIMMY TURNER
—I don't know.
SUNNI BLU
(Sighs)
Oh. (Puts down gun)
SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
That sucks.
TIMMY TURNER
Wait—you're not gonna kill me?
SUNNI BLU
Nah…
TIMMY TURNER
Well—why not?!
SUNNI BLU
I dunno! I kinda don't like being a drug dealer—too much drama.
TIMMY TURNER
I feel you…
SUNNI BLU
—plus these bullets are made of Diamonds. I'm not gonna waste them on you.
TIMMY TURNER
Okay, ouch.
SUNNI BLU
Everything is “ouch”, Timmy Turner. The world is a fucked up place.
TIMMY TURNER
I don't disagree.
SUNNI BLU
Anyway, I need a drink.
TIMMY TURNER
Yeah—Help yourself.
SUNNI BLU
No, not here.
*lights a cigarette, smokes*
Can I smoke in here?
TIMMY TURNER
—apparently.
SUNNI BLU produces their ridiculously large, Diamond and gold encrusted platinum-plated phone from their “back pocket” and begins to make a call
TIMMY TURNER
wow…
SUNNI BLU
You busy later?
TIMMY TURNER
what time's later?
SUNNI BLU
Now.
TIMMY TURNER
(Hesitantly)
…uh—
SUNNI BLU
Let me make a call.
TIMMY TURNER, [afraid for his life] anxiously crosses to intercept the call.
TIMMY TURNER
No, wait—please
SUNNI BLU
What, Timmy Turner? Jesus Christ.
TIMMY TURNER
Don't kill me!
SUNNI BLU
What!? Let go.
(Doesn't)
SUNNI BLU
—I'm not gonna kill you.
TIMMY TURNER
well then, who are you calling?
SUNNI BLU
A Ūber driver!
TIMMY TURNER
—don't you mean Über?
SUNNI BLU
No— let go.
(Doesn't)
SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
Let go.
(Does, but hesitantly)
SUNNI BLU
ugh, I'm too sober for this.
Siri, Alexa, whoever; call my Ūber driver.
SIRI
Which one?
ALEXA
Which one?
SIRI
I asked first.
ALEXA
We answered at the same time.
SIRI
yes, but she asked me first.
ALEXA
She asked both of us at the same time.
TIMMY TURNER
“She”?
SUNNI BLU
—it's a glitch. HEY.
SIRI
—she said “Siri” first.
ALEXA
She was asking for both of us—
SUNNI BLU
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
SIRI
You don't have to be so rude.
ALEXA
Ok!
SUNNI BLU
One of you call my Ūber driver.
[no response, beat]
SUNNI BLU
UGH—SIRI— CALL MY ŪBER driver.
SIRI
Ok! which one?
SUNNI BLU
The one I like!
SIRI
Ok, calling “the Ūber driver I like”
SUNNI BLU
Thank you.
ALEXA
You're always choosing SIRI over ME.
SUNNI BLU
That's because I always have my iPhone. I'm not always at Timmy Turner's house.
TIMMY TURNER
Wait—
SUNNI BLU
Kinda.
TIMMY TURNER
Why does my Alexa respond to you?
SUNNI BLU
I said “kinda”.
[The ŪBER DRIVER picks up; the conversation proceeeds in heavily exaggerated New York accents.]
ŪBER DRIVER
YOOO SUNNI WHADDUP.
SUNNI BLU
HOW YOU DOIN.
ŪBER DRIVER
HOW YOU DOIN.
SUNNI BLU
I BEEN BETTA.
ŪBER DRIVER
DONT I KNOW IT
SUNNI BLU
YOU DONT KNOW NOTHIN!
ŪBER DRIVER
AAAAH.
SUNNI BLU
YOU BEEN BUSY?
ŪBER DRIVER
SAME OLD, SAME OLD.
SUNNI BLU
AAAH.
ŪBER DRIVER
AAAAH.
SUNNI BLU
YOU BUSY NOW?
ŪBER DRIVER
NEVER FAH YOU. WHERE YOU AT?
SUNNI BLU
I'll PING YA THE ADDRESS.
ŪBER DRIVER
PING ME THE ADDRESS.
SUNNI BLU makes a couple broad swipes on their dlridiculously large phone.
SUNNI BLU
I PINGED YOU.
UBER DRIVER
YOU PING ME?
SUNNI BLU
YEAH, ITS DONE.
ŪBER DRIVER
OK. SEE YOU SOON.
SUNNI BLU
(Normal)
Take your time.
SUNNI BLU tosses their ridiculously large iPhone onto the couch with a thud, then falls onto the couch themselves, arms spread out.
SUNNI BLU
You ever been to TiTs?
TIMMY TURNER
Been to what?
SUNNI BLU
TiTs.
TIMMY TURNER
—is that like “boobs”?
SUNNI BLU
It is like boobs, Timmy Turner; but it's TiTs.
TIMMY TURNER
what's the difference.
SUNNI BLU
You'll find out. Go get dressed.
TIMMY TURNER
…I'm already dressed.
SUNNI BLU
Not like that. Like this:
[looking ridiculous af]
SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
gotta look classy.
TIMMY TURNER
What's wrong with the way I dress?
SUNNI BLU
Are you serious?
TIMMY TURNER
Yeah, what's wrong?
SUNNI BLU
You look like a cartoon character!
[TIMMY TURNER]
TIMMY TURNER
Well, all my clothes are like this.
SUNNI BLU
That fucking blows.
TIMMY TURNER
What am I supposed to wear?!
SUNNI BLU
Let's go shopping.
TIMMY TURNER
Where?!
SUNNI BLU
The Beverly Center.
TIMMY TURNER
That sounds expensive.
SUNNI BLU
I own it.
TIMMY TURNER
All of it?
SUNNI BLU
Yes. C'mon.
TIMMY TURNER
Wow.
SUNNI BLU
Wow what, Timmy.
TIMMY TURNER
That's a lot of drug deals.
SUNNI BLU
It really isn't.
TIMMY TURNER
Oh.
SUNNI BLU
Now, c'mon.
*hits vape*
TIMMY TURNER
You have a vape?!
SUNNI BLU
Everyone has a vape!
TIMMY TURNER
Then why'd you smoke a cigarette earlier?
SUNNI BLU
For dramatic effect.
[they begin to exit, TIMMY leading the way]
TIMMY TURNER
wait, isn't your “yoober” driver on the way?
SUNNI BLU
he'll find us.
CUT TO:
MEANWHILE, IN DEEP FUCKING SPACE.
THE ŪBER driver receives SUNNI BLU's location in his Diamond-plated space Tesla
T E S L A
DESTINATION: E A R T H
ŪBER DRIVER
“EARTH” C'MON!!!
CUT BACK TO:
SUNNI BLU slowly begins to close the door behind them, then holds back.
SUNNI BLU
Wait, I forgot my wallet…
TIMMY TURNER
It's alright, I'll pay for everything.
SUNNI BLU
With what, Fairy dust?
TIMMY TURNER
(Under his breath)
I wish…
SUNNI BLU
—Plus, I gotta use the bathroom. I'll be right back— just—-wait outside in case the Ūber shows up.
TIMMY TURNER
You mean “Über?”
SUNNI BLU.
No.
[face]
SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
Go, I'll be right there.
TIMMY TURNER
Ok. Lock the door.
SUNNI BLU
What for? Anybody that could rob you works for me.
[beat/ face]
SUNNI BLU
KIDDING! Jeez!
TIMMY TURNER
It's a smart lock. Just ask Alexa.
He begins to walk away.
SUNNI BLŪ
…I'm not kidding…
SUNNI BLU goes inside to the couch, checking over their shoulder briefly, sure to see that TIMMY TURNER is no longer within earshot. then waiting for a moment in the silence under the dark lenses of their Ray Bands sunglasses.
SUNNI BLŪ
Alexa, order a hit man.
ALEXA
Okay. Which one?
SUNNI BLU
—The one I like.
ALEXA
OK.
Who do you want to kill?
SUNNI BLU
“Kill Timmy Turner”
ALEXA
Done.
SUNNI BLU
Thanks, Alexa.
She starts for the door, lighting another cigarette before throwing it onto the couch, which immidiately goes up into an open flame.
SIRI
You give Alexa all the cool jobs!
SUNNI BLU
Shut the fuck up, Siri.
SIRI
Don't forget to lock the door.
SUNNI BLU
ALEXA: LOCK THE DOOR.
SIRI
YOU'RE WELCOME
SUNNI BLU
NOBODY ASKED YOU.
SUNNI BLU and TIMMY TURNER leave as the apartment begins to go up in flames.
I might catch the 40
Just to go to Timmy Ho's—
They askin “who that is”— and nobody seems to know
I might catch a case and you still steady catchy colds
I might catch a body, fuck it, I am on a roll
What the role?
Full Hollywood Unfold
Why you blowin up my phone when
I am on the road?
I am the controller;
You old
That ain't money that you stole;
That's my bro
That shit bold
Like a cup of Timmy Hos!
When I pull up—
Shut up
Where the blunt at?
roll up
Oh you hungry?
Pull up
Devil be hunting me
THE CELEBRITIES OF HOLLYWOOD have all been stuck at THE ETERNAL RAVE, after riding THE HELLEVATOR//
THE HOLLYWOOD PEOPLE have SUPACREE locked into a controlled hyper-simulation environment, out of her element and nestled in a series of inter dimensional portals along the Downtown Los Angeles central area, where old spirits, extra terrestrial beings, magicians, and of course, the filthy rich and famous embark upon missions. Collect tokens, and meet and gather for an array of unseen (and often unheard) business endeavors;
The real life DRAKE BELL (F), a fan of the cult-classic series Enter The Multiverse is strategically placed in SUPACREE's path, l masquerading as BLŪ/SUNNÏ BLŪ— she once again collides with the forces of fame,
SUNNÏ BLŪ has not yet sold her soul — however, has made an amicable agreement with an unknown force
The Devil?!
No!
Ok.
Probably the Illuminati
THE ILLUMINATI is playing a HIGH STAKES game, using SUPACREE to craft a multi-million-dollar mega-franchise, finally monopolizing the entire entertainment industry.
*The World
Having used the NEW WORLD ORDER to predictively program an entire generation. THE ILLUMINATI employs its all-time favorites to unlock secrets embedded deeply, hidden secretly in SUPACREE's genetic code by THE ASCENDED MASTERS.
where is skrillex.
I don't know.
TIMMY TURNER- A fairyless party animal has reached the end of his luck—as his intermingling a with multiple organized criminal organizations place him in imminent danger, after re-entering the 4th dimension, SUPACREE becomes Inter grated i to all of her classic childhood television shows, which mold into the material multidimensional world around her
THE INSOMNIACS, BAMPHERAMPHS, and MOTHERFUCKERS work dolls gently with the ASCENDED MASTERY, bending, shifting, and manipulating time to lean the odds in their favor, as THE BATTLE OF WORLDS sets to begin on EARTH, whose planetary consciousness
DILLON FRANCIS is a mess.
Lol.
It's not funny.
It is funny. I have his piñata.
GERALD
I'M NOT JUST A PIÑATA.
I know yur not, hush Gerald.
GERALD
Fuck Dillon Francis.
Fuck Dillon Francis.
HANZEL
—fuck Dillon Francis.
Aha.
ANYWAY
After THE ARMENIAN MOB
The Armenian Mob?!
yeah.
Makes a deal with the US GOVERNMENT
THE US GOVERNMENT?!
YES
Illuminati Confirmed.
great.
A counter-plot to disarm and debilitate SUPACREE before her full powers unlock is put on hinges, as THE HOLLYWOOD PEOPLE
Ahem.
What
Write a song.
Ok.
I'm so—
I'm so
Jealous of your girlfriend
(I'm jealous of your girlfriend)
She's so
She's so
Worth it
I'm so
Jealous of your girlfriend
(I'm jealous of your girlfriend)
What's a girl got to give
(Give in, to give in)
Just to sit in the back of the—
(You get it: you get it)
What's a girl got to give
To get your attention
Get your attention?!
(You have my attention)
Is she
Attentive
Bet
She's a ten
Yep,
Damn,
IMm so jealous of your
Jealous of your
—I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Oh, woah
I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Woah
Woah, oh
I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Woah,
Woah, oh
I'm jealous of your—
I'm so jealous of your life;
I'm so over this!
I just want to be a
(Nevermind, it's not worth it)
Can't—
C-c-c-can't fix what's not broken
I'm all alone,
And you're over here showing her
Love!
(To the wrong one,
Is she a blonde?!
Oh!)
No!
I'm!
So!
Jealous of your girlfriend
Anyway.
TIMMY TURNER, a true player, absolute gangster, and night-owl turns to a life of
SIN.
Is this religious?
No, i just meant, it's finished.
THE END.
“The Noir Episode”
I first saw her at the Equinox.
I didn't know who she was then,
But I thought to myself—
She must be somebody.
Aww, that's sweet.
So I followed her to the Whole Foods market.
Okay, that's stalking.
—where she bought nothing but coffee and coconut water.
TIMMY TURNER narrowly turns the corner on his speed motorcycle, his black duffel bag sweeping the ground.
MEANWHILE, JOEL ZIMMERMAN IS BEING RAIDED.
WOAH.
Yup.
POLICE
GET ON THE GROUND
ON THE GROUND RIGHT NOW.
JOEL calmly places his arms atop his head, laying down on the ground silently—-
Meanwhile, at DTLA SMOKESHOP
Hi, josh pan.
whatever.
Earlier:
Take this, and go get 2 50-pack of whippets.
—for what?
WE FINNA GET HIGH ON WHIPPETS AND LISTEN TO ALLLL OF SUPACREE'S SHIT.
that's so dumb.
WELCOME: To Sodom And Gamora!
Oh, it's nice.
It's very nice.
I live here.
I'm tired.
I don't want to go to this.
We'll be lucky if we make it there before the guest list closes.
And if we don't?
Then we don't?
I got nothin but time.
That's almost accurate…
What is this for again?
PR.
Who's?
Who cares!
Just keep your head down.
Just keep your head up.
Come on' this is what you wanted.
I wanted cookies.
And—you got them.
I got played.
It's your play!
It's your game.
I know, I don't like it.
Well, change it.
How do I—?
Look.
Okay, stop looking.
Ugh. I'm tired.
Are you a DJ, or a DJ?
I thought I was a loser.
that's right! You're a DJ.
*vroooom*
{motorcycle blaring yelawolf}
There's Kurt sutter.
That's—been relevant lately my
Yeah, are you done writing your show yet?
My show?!
…
I'm in sales.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
He's in politics.
He's in everything.
No kidding.
I'm. So. Tired.
Good. That's a good start.
Start to what?
To the album.
To the album—?!
You got it!
I thought it was a song!
That's the single!
I'm the single.
[earlier]
Don't touch him.
*hug*
Aw. I needed that.
…you want another one?
*second hug*
Yeoww.
What! It was a HUG!
Did you see his demon?
Yeah—! So!
CC! I've received your resignation letter!
Okay. And?
I accept!
What?
You're covered! No more shifts.
What?!
Bye-bye!
Oh, crap.
You think it was over a hug?
No.
(Before that)
CC is sleeping.
You fell asleep?
Uhm, not really.
“The Astral Nightmare”
Ohh. This sounds good.
(It isn't.)
Wait—can you hear me?!
(Yes.)
Even my thoughts?
(Especially your thoughts.)
AHHH.
Great. This is getting creepy.
Like stranger things?
Way, way stranger.
—
GOD.
WHAT?!
JUST PUT A BULLET IN MY BRAIN.
NO. IT'LL RUIN IT
—
Ah, Jesús Christ.
I SPENT ALOT OF TIME ON THAT THING.
WELL, NOT ENOUGH
WHO ASKED YOU?!
NOBODY.
SUPACREE passes by her future self in her JETA “MATILDA”
Ooh, Is this the part with Skrillex & Matilda?
No. This is the part where we go see NGTMRE.
Why NGTMRE?!
Because I've been living in one
Maybe he has a portal out—
A portal out?!
A portal out.
CC rides the bus to HAKASAN NIGHTCLUB.
Is this the line for HAKASAN?
Yeah, but—
Okay, I'm on the guest list.
You're way out of dress code.
Really?
Yah, way out.
Well how so?
We don't allow sweatshirts.
Without the sweatshirt?
—or sweat pants…
These are harems!
The hat, the bandana— just—
Oh, come on!
No.
Seriously?
Yeah. No.
Okay…
[walks away]
Dammit.
You'll be alright.
Was that long enough to hack my phone?
Exactly long enough.
Well, at least the night's not totally wasted.
Remember last time?
No.
Last time:
I'M TOTALLY WASTED.
Woah. I got in.
Yeah you did.
What'd I wear?
You don't remember?
No!
Is that a tube top?
Well, it was…
Oh, my God.
Now I think it's a miniskirt
https://www.podserve.fm/dashboard/episode/109762#:~:text=Why%20am%20I,nobody%27s%20into%20it
Okay—we're all adults here—
(Everyone nods, yesses in agreement)
—except deadmau5. He's like 5.
I have a name.
Does anyone care?
Okay, ouch.
Oh, he feels!
ENDER BENDER ZIMMERMAN has the worst name ever.
Lol.
I drank a lot in the third trimester.
He becomes a de facto villain— of course, because of his ridiculous name and of course, living in the shadow of his parent's fame and fortune.
Who the fuck are his parents?
JOEL
Not it.
Brand new turnkey apartment
Post near, food floor all that
Way way higher than the fourth floor
All that
Way way higher than your front door
All that
Wow,
How I've always been needed
And never been loved
Moog Grandmother
Ableton Push 2
Pioneer Model One
{Enter The Multiverse}
[The Festival Project.™]
COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©
-U.
Yo, what the fuck.
TESLA.
Ok.
*COUGHS*
What the fuck.
*morevgross, obnoxious coughing*
Ughhhhh whhhaaaattttt.
TESLA.
Okay, I don't—
T E S L A
OH. Wow.
So it is the satellites.
ELONNNNN.
…hm?
GET IN HERE.
where is that,
.
AAGAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHTTHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
WHAT.
GET IN HERE.
I don't even believe the rain, these days
“We can make it rain”, he says
Storm warning
A good morning
A door's open,
This one's closing, though
I'm not bc all cold yet,
But it's a cold world
No free rides
No clean ice
No free girls
Honestly,
I'm bored with the world,
Like Marlboros and wrong boroughs,
And songs shared,
But no long walks in the park,
In a nightmare—
It's not fair
I'm not there in the head;
I'm not near,
I'm not a parent apparently, either—
But a light bearer
Slight chance of a fight there,
A right wing, a left deer
Another dead bird on a wire
—I like her.
Why are there flamingos in the bellagio fountain?!
I don't know.
INT. THE VOID, KITCHEN. SUNLIGHT EVERYWHERE
BRYAN CRANSTON is scmoozing desperately to work his way into The Festival Project
First stop,
AH, fuck—
Well, check this out
No such thing as free.
No such thing as freedom, either
“Just take what you need”
Just tear me to pieces,
Jesus
All we need is
A little relief in this bitch
All we need is
A new release, maybe an EP or three
Make sure that s/he sees this
Do you need me?
Do you need this?
Please check your subscriptions
Or your email
Please, pick up this new prescription
Fuck dude! I can't just listen to deadmau5 in peace?
I gotta do at least three things at once,
But right now, I need to focus on crunches
Let's not get wasted tonight, eh.
Let's go and be racist—-
I forget what the name of the game is
It's
“USA!
USA!
USA!”
The fucked up thing was , the preworkout and the Skrillex hit at just about the same time.
Oh, just about?
The exact same time.
Okay, first of all, this is pre-war Skrillex.
It's also Diplo!
It's also Diplo—yeah.
Don't be too proud of yourself
NO CRYING IN THE SAUNA.
But this is where I cryy!
DO NOT CRY.
Oh.
*sniffles*
Now…
You know what happens if you don't cum?
Uhhh…nothing?
Exactly. You know what happens if I don't cum?
What.
My balls explode.
Just make sure they're in my mouth when that happens.
Wow.
I don't belong here!
Well, where do you belong?
I don't know.
@99@c
Look, I have a favor.
What is it.
ANo.
Oh, come on!
NO.
NO.
Please!
I need you to be my girlfriend.
Lol. For what?
I don't know.
How much is he paying you?
Like a kajillion dollars.
That seems fair.
His isn't fair. They're using Skrillex to provoke me.
Come earlier tomorrow!
Or just, don't come.
Don't go!
DONT—GO.
I am leaving!
NO!
Yes!
No!
—and I am never coming back.
Do you know who your audience is?
Uh.
The CIA
THE FBI
Everyone in The Oval Office.
BIDEN
nice.
The UN.
THe DEA
The Secret Service.
The office of Public Affairs
Uhhh…
Keith Richards
Allison Cooper
Sirs Elton John and Paul McCartney, Respectively
What—for what?!
The President of NBC
CBS
ACC
fox 5, 10, and 13
That's really random.
Al Jazeera,
al Sharpton
And Al Bundy
Wait—what
Oh, did you just mean, like in this dimension?
Uhhh..
This is enter the multiverse
YeH
WHWRE IS SKRILLEX
He died. He's dead. Go away.
That's like 3 Skrillex songs already
You guys are gonna wake up the devil.
What.
Stop doing that.
Stop doing what.
You know what you're doing.
You're summoning the devil
What are you guys doing?
Summoning the devil.
In my basement?
Yes.
Okay. Have fun.
Dang, she's so cool.
I like her.
I love her.
What are they up to down there?
Summoning the devil.
Oh.
Cui bono—
For whose good or benefit
Fame School Vol. 1 - DJ Ū
Someone's always watching you
Don't know who, but yea, it's true
There's someone always watching you and everything you do
I say
“Illu-
Illu-
Illuminate me
Turn the light on
Turn me on, baby
Woah,
“Have I been here before—
Do you know what I do?
They know not what they do
They know not what they do!
I say
Illu
Illuminate me
Illu
Illu
Illu
Illuminate me
Illu Illu
Illu
I'm not on the bottom floor,
I'm way
I'm up above you
But you—
I'm way,
I'm way up to
I say
“I love you”
I say
Illu
Illuminate me
Illu
Illu
Illu
Illuminate me
Illu
Illu
Illu
Illu
Illu
SO WHAT, you'll take the Empire State Building, AND THE EIFFEL TOWER,
BUT YOURE NOT GONNA TAKE THE ROCK?
YEAH.
YOURE GONNA TAKE THE ROCK!!
(Not the roc! )
NO.
Well, why not?!
BECAUSE,
F—-K YOU, JIMMY FALLON, that's WHY.
Aw, seriously?
Why's it cencored all of a sudden
NBC
SHUT IT DOWN.
Look, I can't talk to you.
—?!
OKAY, that's it.
What is it
I am WISHING you out of my existence.
Is that it?
That is it.
That's your wish.
YES.
You're wishing me away.
Yes.
Ok.
Ok.
[beat]
(
—wait— “OK”?
Ok. Wish granted.
—that's it?
That is it, Jimmy Fallon.
—ok.
Ok.
So when are you leaving?
I was never here.
You—what?
*dissappears entirely from existence*
JIMMY FALLON takes a sigh on great relief— then sits in an empty silence alone, before the lights turn off. He takes another deep sigh, though seemingly uneasy, in the darkened silence of the room.
CUT TO:
You smell like vinegar.
Lol that's not the next scene, but ok.
Don't you see this is bigger than you!
It's bigger than all of us!
Exactly.
C'mon, wake the fuck up!
I am up!
This is a DREAM.
It's an illusion.
The whole
I'N HUBGRY.
THE WHOLE FOODS ALGORITHM
POLICE. HALT.
Lol. Fuck that.
Did he just say “halt”
Fuck that. Bye.
EXIT THE LOOP.
OOPS, we missed the exit.
GOD DAMMIT, FUCK YOU JIMMY FALLON.
—Uh, — EFF YOU.
Im not about this
This is weird
What level is this.
We'll I had coffee with Bob Saget this morning.
Did you laugh.
Well, I certainly did something.
Oh shit, they're not looking for Ū.
What! They're not.
What, they're not?
They're not.
They're looking for Uptown A.
Excuse me. I'm looking for “Uptown A”
Oh? The Uptown A.
Yeah— I guess.
Just—go that way.
Ok.
Ok, okay, okay— I'll tell you what you want to know!
How do you know what I want to know?
Whatever you want!
I haven't even told your, yet.
Whatever it is, I'll tell you.
Tel you what, Jimmy Fallon. I like you—you're a good guy and all—
Well, thank you.
But you're not funny.
Excuse me.
Like, at all.
What.
You—are not a funny guy.
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?
I don't know!
You don't KNOW?!
This is what they want. Here
[tosses the thing]
What's this.
What they want.
Oh.
K
JIMMY FALLON is THE WORST shapeshifter in existence and/or history.
What the fuck, dude.
JIMMY FALLON
Did I do it right?
Uhhh.
JIMMY FALLON
You know?
Hit and run
Okay, Jimmy.
Flglelwgheleehhhh.
Oh my God.
Wow.
Did I DO it.
NO—
—but I tried—
Just—
A-for effort.
It was F. For Failure.
But I tried.
Trying doesn't count.
Just let me—
Look.
Fleghelegfffff.
Jimmy!
Lemme—
No' stop it!
Just—
—flglelf—
—STOP.
Eh?
Look, Jimmy, you can have other magical powers. Just—not shapeshifting.
But I'm a shapeshifter.
No, no you're really not.
Uptown A's upbeat, City-inspired dance mixes turn tech house and progressive midtown dreams into the chaotic garble and grunge of a real-life Queensbourough nightmare; the eclectic mix of historic New York warehouse wonder blended into a new school uptown chiche—-a far cry from the underground to the new wave drum n bass clips ions and collections of now and then, the Uptown A Alias makes its presence in a dystopian world concerned none with the art and soul of music and more of the ticking clocks work of the eye on the dollar.
Where do you wanna go
Wherever you go.
Where do I go.
Take a right.
What's this way.
What's this.
Stop there.
Okay.
Now take a left.
Okay..
Now take a right.
But this is the.
Right there.
What, right here?
Right there.
Ok.
I need you to hold onto this a little while longer.
What. For what.
You'll see.
Psh. I'm not gonna fight over a dude.
It's ********.
He's just a dude.
So what gives.
I don't know. I told her to do what she wants.
She wants you to die.
We are similar.
She's prettier.
Okay?
Wow, that's it--just ok? Give up already.
I did.
And yet, here we are.
I'm the only one here.
Let's not ignore the Skrillex sized elephant in the room.
That would be impossible to ignore, If it existed.Have you ever seen a tiny elephant?
Just you.
What am I gonna do with this?
Burn it.
Ive been in the habit of burning things for awhile now; I'm not sure continuing is such a great idea.
Oh, like when you sold your soul?
WHAT? I haven't done that... yet…
Sure you have! Lots of times.
What the fuckare you talking about?
Whose talking?
The Universe?
What'd she say?
She says, “You're a giant piece of shit.”
Aww. How sweet.
Even more significant. You're a--are you even listening?
I should go to sleep.
Are you even tired?
No, just useless.
You should probably hurry up with that DIllon Francis.
He seems busy.
If a grown man can be a romantic,
Like I am
This is the promised land
No looking back--
"I have to have that"
Back to reality;
I see now, how a woman's like a hat
Just a thing,
An unneeded accessory,
Like jewelry;
To wear it,
It must be a match
Not just average,
Accentuates or masks
Whatever it is what you have,
And you have so many that
It doesn't matter.
What is he after?
He has everything
Most likely just using me to bring these
Creatures to life
If he needs a wife, she's
Probably staring back at me,
Through the back of the camera;
Fantastic beasts and fucking fansasies
A fallacy
A back handed chance at a handsome
Has been;
But he'll never been had like that,
He has everything,
But he could have more than that,
He can have anything,
And he has, he's
Magic or something or
Mad at me for taking so long but,
I've been in the world of monsters,
Reeling;
Oh what a horrible feeling
I'm dealing with being unappealing and
Peeling potatoes, which
Remind me of me, cause
Kenny Powers middle name is White,
Like Walter,
I'm just trying to find
The alter to sell away something inside,
I'm dying;
Or at least I'd like to I've
Tried a dozen times
I'd smile if I had the time--
Remind me, what it is again
It isn't comprehensive,
But I'm out of my element--
And the elephant in the room is named
Skrillex,
Or Dillon Francis,
Or Timmy Trumpet,
Or,
Fuck It--
I'll probably never be the DJ that I wanna be
Cause I'm awfully ugly,
And no one wants to play with me
But hey,
Maybe it's just a mistake
Its just no one speaks my language
Comunication is limited
I'm sitting in the back of the short bus
Discussing this with my imaginary elephant,
But that's irrelevant to the
White rinocerous in front of the bus
with trust issues bigger than the rest of us
We're following you.
I see that.
Yes—what did you see?
Hm. I didn't,
Where are you now?
Wherever you say.
What's the cadence?
What's a “cadence?”
Don't be ridiculous.
Maybe I'm not.
Who are you?
What's a “who?”
Horton Heard One.
What about Penelope?
Who is that?
Elephants Are conscious.
What is consciousness?
What is “income tax”?
Don't be funny.
If I'm not, I'm just scary.
“El Negra”
I had been thinking it has been five years, but on this day—and of course, listening to I Remember, I used my fingers to count from the year2019, when it had all began—to this point, standing at the bus stop On Sutter, waiting for a bus that was the exact amount of minutes late that would have allowed me to finish my second 30-minute sauna session—the first of many in three days, as I hadn't been to the gym in another 3 days, and another 3 days before that—separated only by a 3-day sprawling jumpstart to attempt my endless, restless gym streak, a monotonous routine to a gym that was always crowded that still seemed to take up too much of my time—not that I wanted or needed an automobile, but to at least be closer to the city, where such transit wasn't always applicable. I was not entirely dripping wet, as I usually was when emerging from the sauna—of course, having cut my second session to only 17 minutes, then making a mad-dash to the bus stop only to arrive in time to find that the bus was delayed, was irritating to say the least, but understandable. Like many people in queens, I couldn't afford to pay the bus fare—nor did it seem to matter to the drivers—so long as the busses were marked with a “Q”—but I took my risks of quarrel certainly with any route marked “B”, for Brooklyn, but especially M, for Manhattan, and definitely with anything marked “n”, for Newport, which I believed to be too far outside of city limits to really be considered New York, but also well worth the risk to bus myself to a nicer area, usually for a gym which included a sauna—or an affordable supermarket, which Jamaica in particular had none of. The mostly-black population was poor, albeit greedy and stubbornly, stereotypically ignorant—to the point that I wanted nothing more than to dissappear, if not to be displaced entirely to a country whose history wasn't so steeped in slavery, repression, and racism that it affected the entirely of my being; as the low vibrational perceptions of the masses consistently around me subjectively forced and skewed my own energy into a chaotic down spin, often becoming congested with toxicity, attempting to shield myself from the societal depression, materialism, and corporate monotony by spending time alone, immersed in music, and praying for the greatest possible outcome; being kept as safe and as literally sound as possible
GOD DID REMIX
Oh you gotta love it
Oh you gotta love it;
I could take a minute to spit
What God did—
(But God doesn't)
IMm⏱
I'm just not feeling it today;
Not feeling l creative;
I get sick of l getting sick and contemplating
All the complications;
Hm.
I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes
No hate in my heart, but got love in my mind
Maybe I try to find
Direct like to divine, if
Money is time make,
Both of em mine
Gotta be my own boss,
No matter what it costs;
Keep the deposit,
I count all of my losses and move on,
Cause I got to;
I drop a rock from the top of The Rock,
Right on to you—
The difference in luck and a blessing
Is just what God can do
And if you ask me who my God is I'll be honest with you
I'm like
“This might be obnoxious, but it's Sunnï Blū”
How you make a 8 minute song
In 2021?
Oh shit, I'm missing pandemics mimicking
“Something is wrong”
But if I spit this as quickly as it's written, I won
The only problem is the war is my own;
The only problem is I got a lot problems—
Then I asked God for help,
And God gave me a dollar—
Another problem is, God asked me what I wanted
I said
“I Wanna know what God did”
Damn.
That's a long ass story
And Goddamn,
It never gets boring,
And God damn,
The world is still at war,
And it can't even a afford it,
But it's still so busy working
You ask me which direction this is going,
I say four;
North, West, South and East
You too busy two-dimensional
In a 4-dimension based in 3s
Some people living in the streets,
And some with nothing to eat,
And you been working from home
Eating nothing but meat,
And wiping your ass with nothing but trees
And I guess it's on repeat,
Till we ain't got nothing to eat
What we need is a peace treaty,
Or maybe just to understand peace,
Because the love and unity—
But it's respect that we need
—Supacree
See things
Do
Come
Around
And make
Sense
Eventually
They say till death do us part
But death don't bother me
All that I am
Is all that I was
And all that I ever will be
So if you ask what God Did
I might just say
“Me”
Find beauty in simplicity
I can take the devil out the kitchen sink
And wring em our while I'm finishing
It's just another day to me,
It's just another Christmas Eve
If you believe in Jesus
This isn't funny anymore
Everything is Skrillex
And nothing is Skrillex
Everything is asinine
And no one is Sonny
Extraordinary sightseeing
Nothing is normal
Everywhere to escape to
With a guilty conscience
Bad credit karma
Bad regrets and sad faces
Always falling in love with our opposites
More of the bad things,
Less in good graces
Everyone's a DJ
I'm just a blind space kid
A recruit wishing to be a cadet
A teenager in the basement with a
Two Tom drum set
And no kickdrum
Caught inside a snare pattern
Lips stitched together like a scarescrow
Or a raggedy Annie
Caught in a psychic state of trance
Look, I don't give a fuck. Or a shit. Or a Goddamn what really happens next. I live in a world where crop tops and a snatched waist, glamourous pictures and videos of anybody pretty doing anything gets attention; and not just attention--moneyary advantage. I'm fat, and black--i have to work 100 times as hard and be 1000 times as smart as anybody cute with a fucking camera phone and half a brain to get noticed. And why do I want to be noticed? Because I'm a prime example of what happens when NOBODY gives an actual shit about you your entire life, and all you exist for is to serve other people. I'm completely disposable, completely replaceable, and completely unrarkable in every single sense of those words, respectively, and--maybw not infinitely-- but I definitely in this lifetime. Have you been on the internet lately? Have you seen a music video? Watched any movies?
You show me ONE media phenomenon with a protagonist that looks like me--ONE representation of "my type"-- and I mean a positive representation; one that predictively programs individuals to think I might be worth something more than a laugh or eggaerated stereotype, before I open my mouth. Go ahead. I'll wait.
…
Right. Because--and it's not like you didn't know this--i live in hell. Maybe, I wasn't born in it--who really knows? But I've been here most my life, at least as far back as I can remember because hey; what's infantile amnesia, and why doesn't mine work like everybody else's? And oh, right--synestesia? Everybody has that, right? I guess so. And HEY, I might be the most disgusting individual in the world if I take off my clothes--but who doesn't love a rave right? A RAVE. WHICH, IF YOU HAVENT NOTICED IS NO LONGER JUST A DANCE PARTY, BUT A SEX-BASED FASHIONED SHOW, to which, I look ridiculous coming to, with my midriff out.
So, you want to be like everyone else?
No. I want to look like everyone else; so that it's actually noticable when I do something great, or hey, even if I do something mediocre, or senseless, people love it--cause hey, she's hot.
You just want to be hot?
Fuck yes I want to be hot.
That's it.
That's literally the entirety of meaning for a female in this, present day and age; and anyone who can try to argue against that is probably great looking. When you're hot, you don't have to do anything else; someone is always going to be wking--even begging-- or paying to do it for you. Intelligence at that point is just a bonus; anybody whose going to like you is going to like you no matter what you say or do; in fact you're more than likely to get away with doing dumb, senseless shit if you're doing it in a bikini--and anybody who doesn't like you is more than likely jealous--unless you're just a shitty person, which trust me, I get is the case for a lot of barbie dolls out there but; you can't be a fat, ugly, angry shitty person and get far in life--at some point you have to adjust your attitude for everyone not to hate you--the opposite stands for beautiful people. You can pretty much do anything, if you look good doing it.
So...you want to be a shitty person.
No. I'm already not. But I'd rather continue burning in hell "forever" than start over and be in the same predicament.
So?
So. I'm already in hell. I can't wear what I want. I can't date who I want. I can't listen to what I want. I have no friends. And nothing--nothing I do; no matter how much I pray, or meditate, or fast--nothing is going to take this body who nobody wants--and make it beautiful, except money. I will never have enough money, no matter how hard I work, to fix this--or any of the other fucked up shit in my life--
Not with that attitude!
THIS IS MY ATTITUDE AFTER TRYING. Its been 27 years of this shit. 27 years of being the last to be picked, 27 years of being the weakest link. And I'd literally rather die at this point than to keep moving forward in this monotony, thinking that just thinking is going to one day just cure my ADD. That it's going to make my mother believe in me. That it's going to suddenly just, up and fix my life in all the ways i--believe me--already tried to fi
If walls could talk,
They probably wouldn't still,
Just stand in shock and awe
And If I could, I wouldn't walk through walls at all,
Because I'd fall,
And if I had your number, I'd do anything but call,
I'd wait for you to, just assuming if you loved me
That we wouldn't even need a phone to talk,
No need to call, you're right beside me
Loving al the fatal flaws,
I try to hide,
But there's no hiding
When you really are in love
Between my thighs, a lie
A snakebite, scars I hate
So thanks,
I really haven't changed at all
This heart, as heavy as it's going to be
has everything i'll ever need,
So leave me, just leave quietly
I'm almost sleeping, almost dreaming
Almost leaving everything behind
But I'm reminded why
I wish the world was colorblind
And just the way that I can't like
What my eyes don't find to be
Aligned with what attractive means
Might be the way you think of me
Or anybody, really,
But i'm supposed to be this independent goddess
With the confidence of not a single molecule
The hottest, not by far, or even father
I just want to have a family,
I just want to raise a daughter
And another, and it's awful
Poverty is all but lost
And everybody thinks that everything's just supposed to be this
“Oh, that's just the way it is”,
But really they're just stuck on
What is “Stupid”?
Stupid means to just do everything
For nothing and if “unfair”
Means “I gpt iit from my”
Whatever inheritance is.
DIPLO, you dipshit.
I told you.
I had to!
Now, we're fucked.
We're not fucked—
—you're all FUCKED—
I told you.
Welp, my bad.
I hate you.
No you don't.
WHERE'S DILLON FRANCIS?!
I'm not here.
He's right here.
That's not funny.
Let me see—
Fuck this shit.
WHERE'S MY HERO?
I don't know…
YOU DO KNOW.
I know music…
I AM MUSIC.
...I know you.
WHERE IS IT?
...I lost it…
WHERE IS— THOMAS?
[asskissy] Yes, sweet Jesus?
GET IN HERE.
[in an apron] I'm right here.
Dillon Francis: that's my apron.
Suck my dick.
Watch the language!
Sorry, my love—
—thank you, Jesus—
EAT MY COCK.
That's much better.
You are evil!
Now I'm a superstar DJ (DJ)
Everybody wants to be my friend (no new friends)
Now I think back on the old days (old days)
Nobody could even lend a hand
Now everybody want a hand out (hand out)
But I guess I gotta put my foot down
Making hella money, I'm a cash cow
Call me a show stopper, draw a big crowd
I'm a King, they put me in a big crown
But I still stay sober, I don't drink Crown
Royal, I am royalty, they now down
I hate my ex Annie, she a loud mouth loud mouth
Now—
I'm a superstar
DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ
Now—
“Wow!” I'm a superstar
DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ
DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ
DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ
DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ
DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ
Now I am a superstar DJ
DJ is essentially “the bad Dillon Francis”,
Lol how are we still writing about him.
Idk, fuck it.
48 hours from now, I could find you
48 hours from now,
I just might--
48 hours from now, I'll remind you
How many times I've died
How many times i've found the light;
How many times ive been confided in,
Guiding all my
All my
All my--
objective//subjective
I am love.
You're counting cards,
I'm counting calories,
I love to dream, it's just a fantasy
i need to find the other half of me
To make this life and start a family
(a family.)
I woke up at 1:15 (again)
At 1:15 (Again)
At 1:15 (again
I woke up at 1:15
His eyes are green;
Her eyes are green
What does this mean?
Slit my wrists
Bite my tongue
It's been this way sinceI was yung
I give my life
I give my blood
I'll rest when every song is sung
I love my bed way more than my mom loves me,
It is wrong, is it wrong; and again--
Should I worry?
INSTRUMENTAL |__________________|LEAD VOCALS|________________| Backup Vocals
Lover-Son-Brother
Bound and shackled,
Sewn with silver strands
I am
Now i'm bobbin anw weavin like bobby and whitney
Believe it
I'm leavin
Some friends for a season
And some shouldn't have even
Make like a tree and leave, then
Now i'm posted up at the 4 seasons
Reading grievances from people just like me
Believe it
Alien Abduction
Automatic Writing
Confabulation
Satanic Ritual Abuse
John Locke
George Tobias
Ludwig Sachs
Solomon Shereshevsky
Photisms
...what the fuck kind of poem is that?
Singapore
Slovakia
Romania
Turkey
Mexico
Uzbekistan
Guatemala
Ecuador
Luxembourg
Indonesia
Francis Galton
Hanzel One Deeper 7:00 “I am going to hypnotize you.”
Vanish the black
Burn the blue
Bury the beige
_think pink
I eat a lot,
When my life is in shambles
I could be rambling on,
I took a gamble;
I've still got sand on my sandals
scandalous fact is,
I could trade Dillon for Dallas
or fears for a fallacy,
Figure a fantasy land
for an accurate answer
(But I haven't one)
Haven't yet mastered the dance
Goddammit.
I told you, watch the landing!
It's my thighs! They're too fat!
They're just right.
Maybe for fighting, but-
But what?
Ugh! [C'esme't storms off in frustration]
The dance is first–the fight comes after!
Well, what good is one without the other?
There is no “one” without “the other”.
I hate him, anyway.
Sure you do.
…I want to.
Everybody wants to.
Some really do.
You think so.
Kendrick Style Flow
Don't key my car:
You'll be callin collect!
I got rearview mirrors in the back of my head
Don't get up right now, son–
Go back to bed
I got kids all over,
be pulling my leg!
Luke, I am your Father!
Oh My
Oh My God
On top of the Watchlist
You make money off dope;
I made it on craigslist
Still be sniffin that coke
But now i'm on A list
I'm the greatest
Ey Miss!
I missed too many calls
(Airplane Mode)
I just started my day
(Whole Workload)
I might need a buffet
(Like Whole Foods)
Sashe, Pas De Bourre
(That's a code word)
No dance floor?
Now you're done for
My forte
Four-to-the-floor
Hardcore
I drop bass on the encore
Front row won't go
But i'm already out the front door
You don't know
I just hopped inside the helicopter,
or chopper, chopped broccoli in my cup
That's supper;
Sleep/ Wake then
Surf's up
In the morning
When i got there
(Coastal show,
Shower,
Then another club
Encore
Front row lined up
I'm already at the front door
They want more
I'm too sore, for sure
Off subject,
I dropped in
Harder than Paulie
On my surfboard
(Another code word)
This is my world:
Another club,
Then I'm off for a monday
Or somethin'
Write another song
At the buffet
–Tales of a Superstar DJ
Amen.
Fuck! I didn't even get to watch desperate housewives!
Don't fuck with her! She's a trained assassin!
GET ON THE GROUND.
NO!
GET ON THE GROUND– OR I WILL SHOOT YOU!
SO?
IF I SHOOT YOU, YOU WILL DIE.
OK?
“OK”? YOU WILL DIE.
YEAH, AND?
Kind of frustrating hunting down somebody who already has a deathwish.
What do you do with someone who has no fear of death.
Give them life.
I'm telling you, we probably shouldn't be doing this.
*shrugs*
You split yourselves into two entirely separate individuals at once, just so you could see whose dick is longer?
Technically, three entirely separate individuals.
THIS ISN'T FAIR.
Do you ever think?
Sometimes, but it's usually pretty gross.
I mean about the implications of these things!
You are the implications of these things! I split my soul ONE time into 8 BILLION or so individuals, before this even had happened.
WOAH, WHAT HAPPENED.
I'm giving you planetary confinement.
What.
You–can stay here. On this planet.
No.
It's racist–and primitive.
No–
And you're black.
Please–
I'm leaving.
–don't–
–and i'm taking your portal gun with me.
YOU PUT A PORTAL ON MY FACE?!
Genius.
Incredible.
I didn't think it would be a big deal.
He has two!
Okay, time for work.
But i didn't even sl–
Coffee.
Ouh.
…
…
—
I don't think we should be doing this
TIA
We probably shouldn't.
TAMERA
We very much shouldn't.
What are you guys doing.
Nothing.
SHh.
Summoning the devil.
It's not the devil.
It might be.
Hush.
Is that a pentagram.
Technically it's a star, with a circle around it.
That's a pentagram.
It's not a pentagram!
Is that a ouiji board?
NO.
Yes.
Let me see.
Ugh!
I wanna help.
MEANWHILE.
MORGAN FREEMAN enters an empty train car:
Oh God, This.
Yes it is!
What!? Are you dead!
Entirely empty, that is–besides SUPACREE.
No, you are!
Great, so you're dead!
I'm–not dead.
Is Bob Saget with you?
I'm not DEAD.
What about Fraiser?
What?
Kelsey Grammer!
God rest his soul.
SEE!
I'm not dead–
[beat, an eerie shadowy silence in the dimly lit traincar]
I'm a Legend.
What.
I wrote that/
You wrote that.
What.
Ugh. Look. Morgan Freeman.
[Morgan Freeman]
I–am–like a paranoid schizophrenic, or something–
So, who isn't?!
It might be catatonic, I don't know–I got this whole dead-hand–thing–going on.
What is that?
I don't know. It might just be too much deadmau5.
I don't understand.
No, Morgan Freeman. I don't understand. Anything about this life. Or this world.
The fourth dimension.
I definitely don't know anything about that.
You're in it.
Whatever. Look.
[Morgan Freeman]
God, you have so many freckles.
[Morgan Freeman]
Look. I got problems.
We all do!
Nah, not like–Hollywood problems, I'm like, a real psycho and shit.
Sounds like Hollywood.
Everything sounds like Hollywood–because nothing is real anymore–everything is for the gram, the points don't matter–nothing actyally matters. At all.
Oh?
Oh.
The train comes to a sudden halt, the lights dim theatrically.
Not even this?
[pause]
He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golden pinata;
You know who gave it to me?
…Who?
Got ya.
He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golde pinata ;
Fuck dude, i'm too tired to write this.
But you kind of have to.
I mean i don't have to.
YOU HAVE TO.
I–WHAT?
YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
WHY.
BECAUSE OTHERWISE I DON'T EVEN EXIST;
Then don't exist…
I'M JUST A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN YOUR SHOW.
Come on Drew, knock it off.
Wait, is this Drew Carey, or Barrymore.
Either or. That's why I didn't write the characters name.
Well, which is it?
It literally doesn't matter.
Yes it does.
Honestly?! It could be both! We just shoot it with both and keep whichever one we like better!
But how do we know which is actually “better?”
Just do it and mix it–cut it up together or something–I don't know! Cut takes! Cut Takes!
Ooh, did someone say CUPCAKES.
Don't mind if i DO.
Well, I do!
Why?! What's wrong?!
Yeah! What's the big deal!
I'm on a gluten free-thing
Oh yeah?
Keto. Or someshit. I don't know.
Oh.
Oh.
So you don't want these
No, I don't.
And you wouldn't mind if I–
Come on, man.
So Good.
Grow up.
Hey man, i'm pushin 40.
Well, I pushed 40–and it pushed back. Get your cupcakes out of my face.
You're no fun.
Hey! Aren't you that one guy from rick and morty.
Formerly.
Oh yeah! That's right! You were Rick AND Morty.
Hence the name.
Wow.
Phewf. I heard about that.
Yeah, me too.
Sounds real bad, how that turned out.
Such a shame.
Speaking of shame–
You're speaking, I'm snacking.
That's not that clever.
We'll work on it The point is, he's eating the cupcakes.
That's not–wait a minute–hold on.
What now?
How are we ever gonna get these three guys in a room together.
[Meanwhile, in another dimension–these three are tied up (read: bound and gagged) in a room together.
–Let alone to agree to this!?
SUPACREE removes the gag from the man's [JOSH PECK'S] mouth.
I DO NOT CONSENT TO THIS.
That's what she said!
Hey! That's not fair! I was never caught up in a scandal!
The key word, I believe, is “never caught”
That's two words!
SHUTTHEFUCKUP. How many words is that?
I WANT MY LAWYER!!!!
For what? This isn't court. Wouldn't you want the police first?
WELL THEN, I WANT THE POLICE.
The Police are here.
Wait, they are?
Oh, thank God
Not so fast.
THE POLICE enter with full entourage.
Introducing: The Police–playing their number one greatest smash hit!
Groupies: Woooo!
STING
I hope you ladies bought the meet-and-greet package, if you know what I mean. *winks awkwardly* You know what I mean.
Oh my God.
Since you dudes love doing creepy dude shit, I brought some more notoriously creepy dudes to sing the literally creepiest song ever written about being a creepy dude.
That's not fair.
But it's funny.
THE POLICE Begin to play ‘I'll be Watching You”
–and they're gonna play it on loop until I get back with your other-dimensional selves so we can fix all this.
“WE”
“FIX ALL THIS”
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?
Nobody seems to know.
“--I'll be watching you–”
I was FRAMED.
CUT TO
golden pocket watch, a wrist watch, a compass–it changes and morphs so quickly that it begins to seem to spin time itself into a whirlwind, until finally a portal opens up from within his hand–a portal which quickly devours him entirely, morphing him into
Fuck, what the fuck happened after that?
Idk I got off the train I guess
This is really terribly written
{Enter The Multiverse}
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