Old Millennials Remember Movies

If a "wise" old Golden Retriever tells you to leave the ranch and venture into the wilderness, don't listen to him. He's stupid. "Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey" is a Disney remake of the 1963 animal adventure, itself based on a book. But who cares about all that? This one has Marty McFly voicing a rambunctious dog who spouts pop culture references with reckless abandon.

Look, we love this movie, but the language logic here will hurt your brain. Our three heroes - Chance (Michael J. Fox), Sassy (Sally Field) and senile Shadow (Don Ameche) speak to each other in English and make countless references to distinctly human experiences. They know about Godzilla and McNuggets and all sorts of other things. BUT they also don't understand what their human family members say to them, and they completely miss the reason why they're temporarily left at the farm with Jean Smart. How does that happen?! Either they understand human English or they don't! You can't have it both ways, MOVIE!

End rant.

Old Millennials Remember Movies "Homeward Bound" podcast

"Homeward Bound" was a childhood favorite for many Old Millennials. Co-host Angela connects the movie to experiences with her own Golden Retriever. Even though her dog Penny ran INTO the side of a moving car one time, she was still smarter than Shadow.

Shadow spends the whole movie lecturing Chance about not knowing anything. Hey, Shadow! You're a big dumb idiot for thinking you should traverse a mountain range with a domesticated cat and a pup who doesn't like to be called chicken (that's a joke for you "Back to the Future" fans). The cat goes over a waterfall, Shadow looks for her for five minutes then goes about his merry way. MONSTER.

That being said, aren't we sad when Shadow falls in the hole? And the hill scene at the end. Tears! So many tears!

Tyler and Angela go on their own incredible journey as they discuss "Homeward Bound" - the latest installment in our animal series! By "incredible journey," we mean "talk about the doggy and kitty movie."

Also discussed on this episode:

Rocketman (2019)

Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase (2019)

Hair (1979)

The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005)

Property Brothers: Buying and Selling (a TV series that LIES!)

Check out these related past episodes of "Old Millennials Remember Movies"

Roar - episode 73 - 1981

101 Dalmatians - episode 74 - 1996

The Lion King - episode 47 - 1994

If Disney remakes don't scare you, no evil thing will.

Years before Disney went bananas with live-action remakes of their animated classics, the Mouse House recruited Glenn Close and a bunch of dogs to update the 1961 classic about a nice old lady who just wants to own a nice coat. Okay, so she wants the coat made out of dalmatian puppy fur, so doggy parents Pongo and Perdita must recruit a small army of farm animals to stop that crazy Cruella de Vil from making what will obviously be a very ugly coat.

Building up its pedigree, "101 Dalmatians" adds John Hughes-penned pratfalls in the style of "Home Alone," Jeff Daniels as an "independent video game developer" and two bumbling henchman played by Dr. House and Ron Weasley's Dad.

Old Millennials Remember '101 Dalmatians' podcast

A holiday hit back in 1996, the live-action "101 Dalmatians" isn't quite as infuriating as the Disney remakes that would come later. For the most part, real animals are used (minus a few awful shots of 90s-era CGI), and they don't speak, which immediately elevates the viewing above your standard "Air Buddies" adventure.

Tyler and Angela discuss Glenn Close's go-for-broke performance and whether the film's rescue mission in the second half works without the animals talking to each other as the do in the original. We also try to figure out the character of Nanny, played by "Dennis the Menace" superstar Joan Plowright. She's a nanny? For a family with no kids? A live-in housekeeper? A dogsitter? A weird old lady with the power to identify pregnant dogs just by looking into their eyes?

What are you doing here, Nanny?! You're making us nervous. At least Cruela de Vil makes her intentions clear.

Also discussed in this episode:

Strangers on a Train (1951)

Laura (1944)

The Clapper (2017)

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)

The Land of Steady Habits (2018)

With almost the entire world under some form of quarantine, the people watched "Tiger King." The insane Netflix documentary series inspired the Old Millennials to seek out the craziest BIG CAT movie of all time - the little-seen adventure film, "ROAR" from 1981.

The movie, directed by and starring a crazy guy named Noel Marshall, didn't get an official release in the United States until Drafthouse Films bought the rights in 2015. No animals were harmed in the making of the movie, but, no joke, something like 70 cast and crew members sustained lion and tiger-related injuries. Cinematographer Jan de Bont (who would later direct "Speed" and "Twister") even got scalped by a a motherf*#%ing lioness.

Roar and Tiger King podcast - Old Millennials Remember Movies

Marshall's then wife Tippi Hedren and step-daughter Melanie Griffith star in "Roar," a movie about... well there isn't much plot to reveal. Basically, dozens of lions, tigers, panthers and other big cats attack and terrorize a family while the patriarch of the household pretends that it's totally normal to let a hundred blood-soaked killing machines live inside his house 24 hours a day.

There's also an elephant with MURDER in its heart.

After a discussion on Netflix's "Tiger King," Old Millennials hosts Tyler and Angela discuss one of the most baffling and terrifying films of all time. Tyler is even convinced that Steven Spielberg modeled the raptor kitchen sequence in "Jurassic Park" after a few specific stretches of "Roar."

You may not have seen "Roar" when you were young (nobody did), but you need to see it now. You can find it online through a certain mega-popular video streaming service.

More movies discussed in this episode:

Onward (2020)

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986)

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991)

Star Trek Generations (1994)

Related past episodes of Old Millennials Remember Movies

Twister - episode 1 - 1996

The Lost World - episode 4 - 1997

The Lion King - episode 47 - 1994

The real March Madness 2020 got cancelled, so the Old Millennials Remember Movies crew is pitting 32 sports (and sorta-sports) movies from the 80s, 90s and early 00s against each other! Tyler and Angela make their bracket picks and try to predict each other's Final Four. We were both in for a few surprises.

The competition began with four brackets of eight films each.

Bracket #1 - Past episodes of OMRM

There's a whole category of movies we've covered on the podcast. Titles include "The Mighty Ducks," "Cool Runnings," "Days of Thunder" and "Space Jam."

Bracket #2 - White Balls

More than baseball movies. More than golf movies. It's baseball and golf movies! "Bull Durham," "Happy Gilmore," "Major League" and "The Sandlot" are contenders here.

Bracket #3 - Smashy Smashy League

Where people smash together in the spirit of competition. "Karate Kid," "Remember the Titans," a clash of Jean Claude Van Damme titles in the first round and more!

Bracket #4 - Potpourri or "Pool Party" category

Angela doesn't understand the title of this category. We got a little creative here in order to fill the bracket. These are random sports that don't fit into the other categories. Find out what happens in the round one clash between "Air Bud" and "Seabiscuit." How does the arm wrestling adventure "Over the Top" fit into all of this?

There are many things you could say about James Cameron, but there's one thing we keep thinking - That dude is crazy.

"The Abyss" is a monumental achievement in live-action adventure filmmaking. Filled with one stunning underwater sequence after another, the film remains a landmark in physical stunt work and the kinds of things that can be achieved "in-camera." Oddly enough, "The Abyss" is also cited as an influential early adopter of computer generated effects. The snakelike water blob still looks pretty cool! But the practical effects and production design make "The Abyss" a science-fiction classic.

Much like Cameron's later success on "Titanic," the achievements of "The Abyss" came with a huge level of mental and physical anguish for Cameron and his collaborators. Stars Ed Harris and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio don't even talk about their experiences on the film. Basically, the set was miserable and everyone almost drowned at some point in production.

The Abyss 1989 podcast - OMRM

The Old Millennials discuss whether "The Abyss" was worth the trouble to make it. How many diving scenes are too many? How many terrible things go wrong before it just gets exhausting? Do the aliens need to be in this movie? Where's all the sea life? Is that Chris (expletive deleted) Elliott?

We also take a deep dive (ta ha) into the film's lengthier director's cut. Which giant title waves reign supreme? It's "Abyss" vs. "Deep Impact" baby!

Tyler also dissects two of 1989's other deep sea science fiction adventures, as well as what the hell happened with 1998's "Sphere."

Old Millennials also discuss:

The Way Back (2020)

The Magicians TV series

Leviathan (1989)

DeepStar Six (1989)

Sphere (1998)

Check out related past episodes of Old Millennials Remember Movies podcast

Event Horizon - episode 19 - 1997

Signs - episode 10 - 2002

Congo - episode 43 - 1995

Take a portal to the other side of the universe with the Old Millennials gang as they try to remember "Stargate," a forgettable wannabe blockbuster that technically inspired the far-more-popular TV series.

Join James Spader as SCIENCE NERD and Kurt Russell as TOUGH GUY as they discover the secrets of a mysterious alien wormhole. The Stargate traverses the known universe, connecting Egypt on Earth all the way to... a planet that looks like Egypt?

Of all the possible places to travel, this was the best idea? It'd be like having a "Star Wars" movie that never leaves Tatooine. Director Roland Emmerich made this snoozer before finding success with "Independence Day," and while "Stargate" has a solid premise and a few cool helmets, it lacks punch, pizzazz and... um, quick, think of another relevant "p-word"... POLISH! Boom. Nailed it.

Noted weirdo James Spader sleeps through the movie. The always-reliable Kurt Russell has nothing to do, though his Colonel Guile-style military flattop looks SPECTACULAR.

Stargate 1994 podcast

Tyler and Angela discuss the movie's overstuffed plot, under-cooked characters, perfunctory action scenes and... look, we liked the helmets. We discuss the appearance of Djimon Hounsou (billed here just as Djimon) and whether or not French Stewart from "3rd Rock from the Sun" can believably play a tough guy. Spoiler alert: He can't.

Also discussed on this episode for some reason: Locks, keys, "Locke & Key," stars, gates and really anything that can get us to stop having to discuss "Stargate."

Also discussed in this episode

Color Out of Space (2019)

The Invisible Man (2020)

Locke & Key TV series (2020)

Various Nicolas Cage performances

Check out related past episodes of the Old Millennials Remember Movies podcast

Godzilla - episode 42 - 1998

Congo - episode 43 - 1995

Street Fighter - episode 34 -1994

Hey Mr. Wilson! This 90s update of the popular comic/cartoon isn't half bad! Writer John Hughes continued to draw from the "Home Alone" well with more kid vs. bad guy pranks. Yes, "Dennis the Menace" has a bad guy that isn't neighbor-next-door George Wilson. This movie has "Switchblade Sam," a totally creepy and marginally inappropriate bad guy for a PG-kids movie, but he's played by the always committed Christopher Lloyd. Great Scott, those teeth are nasty!

Old Millennials Remember Movies hosts Tyler and Angela feel a bit bad for ol' George Wilson, played here by the incomparable grump Walter Matthau. His neighbors, the Mitchells, just let their FIVE YEAR OLD CHILD run around the neighborhood unsupervised, breaking into homes, messing with dangerous medications and household chemicals at every turn. "He's only a little boy," says everyone. Exactly! A little boy needs to be watched! Otherwise you're going to get a blob of paint/wood chips in your BBQ chicken.

Dennis the Menace 1993 Podcast

Silly pranks and semi-violent pratfalls take up much of the "Dennis the Menace" run time. Still, the movie stops every now and again to touch on some surprisingly thoughtful content, including the Wilsons' painful decision not to have kids, as well as Alice Mitchell's (Lea Thompson) struggle to be treated fairly at work.

Also, Switchblade Sam has a switchblade!

The Old Millennials discuss these topics, as well as the real world inspirations for the film's rare flower, "Home Alone" connections (Buzz returns!), the film's frustrating refusal to allow for a "Back to the Future" reunion, Natasha Lyonne sightings and the overlong climax that almost ends with a character getting the Darth Maul treatment!

Also discussed in this episode

Doctor Sleep (2019)

Gemini Man (2019)

Better Call Saul Season 4

You (Netflix series)

Check out these related past episodes of the Old Millennials Remember Movies podcast:

Baby's Day Out - ep 48 - 1994

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York - ep 63 - 1992

Blank Check - ep 59- 1994

Home Alone - ep 26 - 1990

Whatcha gonna do? Watch all three "Bad Boys" movies, that's what. What a long, strange road it's been for Mike Lowery and Marcus Burnett, two Miami detectives who trade barbs, look cool in slow-motion and kill piles and piles of bad guys. They also kill a bunch of innocent poor people with a humvee in "Bad Boys II," because ACTION!

In 1995, director Michael Bay wasn't yet known for his Bayhem, and so the original "Bad Boys" is a somewhat subdued affair until the final 20 minutes. That won't stop the Will Smith and Martin Lawrence from engaging in a full hour of excruciating mistaken identity-comedy focused on keeping murder witness Tea Leoni safe. You know Tea Leoni... that lady who plays Madame Secretary on "Madame Secre......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

After wrestling with the relative charm of the original, Old Millennials Tyler and Angela shift their focus to "Bad Boys II" from 2003, a movie that's as insane and excessive as it is dreadful. Stinky dead bodies, racial stereotypes and homophobia for days here folks, plus one admittedly snazzy car chase.

Then it's on to the new "Bad Boys for Life." Michael Bay skipped this go around, and the movie is... passable! We dive into some spoilers here, but basically if you've seen a "Fast & Furious" movie in the last five years, then you can probably guess this movie's twists and turns.

Bad Boys podcast for OMRM

It's our "Bad Boys" extravaganza with deep, thoughtful discussion and criticism. Actually, we spend a lot of time gushing about the MVP of the franchise Joe "Joey Pants" Pantoliano, talking about how to properly say "MIKE LOWERY" and get into a questionable debate about Tea Leoni's teeth. But hey, we also quadruple down on our sustained love for Edgar Wright's "Hot Fuzz and celebrate the Oscar success of "Parasite," so don't turn on us, hashtagFilmTwitter!

Also discussed in this episode:

Birds of Prey (2020)

The Gentleman (2020)

Star Trek: Picard Season 1

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Season 3 (2020)

McMillions miniseries (2020)

Check out these related past episodes of the Old Millennials Remember Movies podcast

The Long Kiss Goodnight - Episode 45 - 1996

Congo - Episode 43 - 1995

Predator - Episode 18 - 1987

Everybody else in the movie world talked about their favorite movies from 2019, so why not the crew from Old Millennials Remember Movies? We’re not just experts in 80s and 90s movies, we’re experts in liking many of the movies other people liked this year!

Tyler has been making Top 10 lists for most of his adult life. Angela doesn’t like ranking things, but she’s committed to the cause. She created a whole point system this year! And after Angela Explains It All,  even you’ll be convinced of the merits of “Jumanji: The Next Level.”

Okay, okay, so “Jumanji” didn’t actually make her list, but there are some surprises… so listen to the podcast! We even say some (somewhat) insightful things about the Capital I Important movies of the year.

Tyler and Angela even agree on a few high profile choices. Could it be they even agree on the Best Movie of the Year? Spoiler: Yes.

Tyler also shares a few of his super douchey T-Dub Awards, including prizes for Best Music Moment (It’s “Heaven”), Best Scenery Chewing, The “Not as Bad as Advertised” Award, the “So Bad You Have to See It to Believe It” Award, Best Homage to “Back to the Future Part II” and more!

Old Millennials Best of 2019 podcast

Tyler and Angela each share their Top 10 Films of 2019, as well as some Honorable Mention titles. You can count on some discussion on films like “The Last Black Man in San Francisco,” Midsommar," “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood,” “Parasite,” “Us,” “The Farewell,” “The Irishman,” and Tyler’s beloved “Little Women.”

Check out last year's Old Millennials Remember Movies episode on the Best Movies of 2018 HERE!

The 1994 version of “Little Women” is a perfectly competent adaptation of the Louisa May Alcott classic story. Winona Ryder headlines a solid cast as Jo March, and Christian Bale proves he was a solid dreamboat in his formative years. Eric Stoltz a little less so, but hey, he’s trying.

Yes, 1994 “Little Women” is just dandy, but then Greta Gerwig decided to make a GD masterpiece with her 2019 version. The writer/director of “Lady Bird” impressively remixes the story and adds modern flare at every turn. 

Of course ONE Old Millennials Remember Movies host (spoiler: Angela) had to be convinced of the greatness of Gerwig’s “Little Women.” Okay, “convinced” is the wrong word, but Tyler probably loves this new version a little too much.

Little Women podcast

On this episode, Angela and Tyler discuss their very different histories with the 1994 version, get into some nerdy discussion on narrative structure, ponder the sexual appeal of Timothy Chalamet and try to get to the bottom of why Greta Gerwig decided it was Better to Call Saul.

Also, please praise us, because we are 67% sure we pronounced Saoirse Ronan and Florence Pugh correctly throughout the entire episode.

Note: We discuss the 1994 and 2019 “Little Women” throughout, including Gerwig’s bold take on the ending. Save this episode for later if you haven’t seen it yet and don’t want to be spoiled.

Old Millennials are also watching:

Booksmart (2019)

Late Night (2019)