Barbarians of Lemuria may not be as old as some of the other games and monsters I've had on the podcast, but it perfectly captures the heroic "Savage Sword of Conan" feel of old school games.  Expect multiple careers, a huge enemy body count, and spells of the Second Magnitude. 

It's time to head into the dense jungle, enter the ziggurat tomb of the ancient king, and take his stuff.

A super traditional old-school scenario of Orcs, Owlbears, Rot Grubs, and an evil wizard. I do my best to help you relax as you hack and slash your way to victory and a grateful village. This episode was inspired by the early games of Advanced Dungeons and Dragons we played when we were kids. 

A vast colony starship drifts through space, disabled by a disaster. It's time to save your village by going on a relaxing journey for answers, with your mutant friends:

Meliss-Argg: short, hairless, with pointed ears and deadly with a bow, she also has the sonic attack mutation. Talk about beauty and the beast--she's both.

El-Marko: tall, with a reptilian crest on his head and neck, and a single eye like a cyclops. He wears a large belt that shimmers when he presses a button and protects him like armor, and wields a Laser rifle that he found on a hunt. He can hit the wings on a fly with that thing.

Scorchera, small and winged, blessed with the flame powers mutation. Don't make her angry--you wouldn't like her when she's angry.

Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to chill out with your close personal friend Brian. Enjoy an excursion to Schaufelspeer; see the city from the beach, from the roofs at night, and from behind the driver's wheel of a very fast sports car. Keep the world safe, and keep your stress low.

Few things are more relaxing than deep space, and it's even more relaxing when you're making a profit. If you also get to fight off hijackers and pirates, well, that's just the gravy on top. Relaxation and deep sleep is in your future, friend.

Check out the game itself for free, it's worth it:

Free copy of Starter Traveller: https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/80190/CTSTStarter-Traveller

Let me guide you through a relaxing emergency retreat and fulfilling battle with Warsaw Pact marauders.

Special thanks to listener Nick from the U.K., who provided the poetic bit about cold Polish nights and tracer fire.

Here is your virtual squad, to accompany you on your journey of relaxation:

Let me guide you through a lush tropical jungle to the steps of a beautiful palace, where you will encounter the evil Rakshasa.  You will be well-prepared for this, and it will be extremely relaxing. Bring a sense of calm, a blessed crossbow bolt, and maybe your yoga mat.

Relax and breathe deeply while going on a run against an Incubus outside of Seattle. Don't stress chummer, you've got this.

An extremely relaxing encounter with a Beholder.

Using old-school rpg imagery, I hope to make you laugh a bit while I take you through this guided meditation for relaxation and help getting to sleep. In this first episode, you'll have an extremely relaxing encounter with a band of bugbears.