You can be addicted to a lot of different things like alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, and even food. But did you know you can also be addicted to approval? When Moses chose seventy leaders to help govern Israel, he told them, ‘Do not show partiality in judging; hear both small and great alike. Do not be afraid of anyone.’ (Deuteronomy 1:17 NIV) 

 When your identity is wrapped up in other people’s acceptance, you set yourself up for approval addiction, because your sense of self-worth is always on the line. A notable French author said, ‘We’re so accustomed to wearing a disguise before others, that eventually we’re unable to recognize ourselves.’ That’s not how God wants you to live! 

  I really cannot give you the formula for success. But I can give you the formula for failure. It's this: Try to please everyone.   Are you obsessed with the need to please? From parents to bosses, we all like a pat on the back for doing well, but what if you're addicted to the approval of others?

Colossians 3:23-24 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.

Approval addiction, defined

Gregory Jantz, an author of several books about addiction, notes, "People who are addicted to approval have a fragile ego. Their sense of self-esteem is dependent upon whether or not someone likes them, so in order for them to feel OK about themselves, they need to know they are liked." People with approval addiction rely on others to soothe their insecurities and satisfy their emotional needs and struggle with establishing self-confidence without others' external validation.

 Jantz said the use of cell phones and social media has only exacerbated the problem.

"We did a study for my latest book that says 48 percent of the highest users on Facebook will go on (to Facebook) first thing in the morning," Jantz said. "This is even before they go to the bathroom! They check to see who 'liked' their posts and for many, this will determine how they feel before starting their day."

In The Message Bible, Proverbs 29:25 says, “The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that.” The New King James Version put it this way: “The fear of man brings a snare, But whoever trusts in the LORD shall be safe.” 

 You see, the problem with allowing the opinions of others to control our lives is that they are fallen humans, just like everyone else is. People are fickle. One minute they like you, and the next, when you do something they disagree with or disapprove of, they don’t. This is the “disabling snare” that the Bible speaks of, that can leave us confused emotionally and paralyzed spiritually.  When we think of addicts, we may immediately think of drugs or alcohol. But the truth is we can be addicted to almost anything. The apostle Paul stated that he would not allow anything to control him (See 1 Corinthians 6:12).   That is a good attitude to have, one that we will have to be very determined to maintain.   Approval addiction is a thing that is tied and tethered to ‘how you feel about me is the way I feel about me.’

  If they say it..and all of a sudden your mood changes…you might have a problem.  Approval addiction is like a paper cut…it doesn’t bleed but it sure hurts!    It’s okay to want to be liked by people…but it’s dangerous when you need to be. 

Well Mike, will it go away?  Friends, fire cannot consume what you don’t put on the altar…God won’t fix what you won

God is not afraid of darkness…and He is with you when you go through times of darkness in your life.  Have you ever found yourself in a place of darkness…a place where you couldn’t see, couldn’t see your destiny, couldn’t see hope…couldn’t see answers…where you could no longer see Him.

 But, darkness is the only time of day that is an ending and new beginning at the same time…darkness is the conclusion of yesterday and the first part of a new day!  

 1.    Your Decision to Dream A New Dream
Remember…the darkness has come because God wants to conclude an old thing and begin a new one.  Study carefully disappointment…it is a signal that probably contains important instruction…something didn’t work…something wasn’t right.  So, disappointment is a signpost where God is telling you that He wants you to dream again.

-Sometimes God has to get rid of Lot before He can show Abraham his future (Gen. 19)

 If you are still talking about yesterday…you don’t have your dream yet.  What is behind you fades in comparison to the potential of what is ahead of you.

2.    Your Decision To Stay Thankful
You must decide to be thankful for what you have and not complain about what you don’t.

Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.        -Eckhart Tolle

 3.    Your Decision To Turn Loss Into Gain
‘Jephthah, a brave soldier from Gilead, was the son of a prostitute.’ Judges 11:1

 Jephthah was the illegitimate son of a man called Gilead. His mother was a prostitute. When he grew up, Gilead’s legitimate sons turned on him and chased him away. ‘“You will not get any of our father’s inheritance,” they said.’ (Judges 11:2 NLT) So he ended up living in a cave. While there, he took a band of misfits and rebels and developed them into a great army. When the Ammonites threatened Israel, the elders turned to him for help. ‘But Jephthah said to them: “Aren’t you the ones who hated me and drove me from my father’s house? Why do you come to me now when you’re in trouble?” “Because we need you,” the elders replied. “If you lead us in battle against the Ammonites, we will make you ruler over all the people of Gilead.”’ (Judges 11:7–8 NLT)
Not only did Jephthah lead them to victory, but he’s also named with honor in the Bible along with people like Abraham, Moses, and David. His life is rich with lessons. Here’s an important one: rejection and loss can be part of God’s plan for your life. Jephthah was rejected for reasons beyond his control—he was illegitimate. But instead of growing bitter, he moved on and did something good with his life. Perhaps you’ve been rejected because you were old, young, intelligent, dumb, pretty, ugly, privileged, poor, attractive, unattractive, male, female, white, black, etc. By God’s grace, Jephthah took an ugly situation and turned it into a beautiful one. And if you’ll turn your situation over to God today, the same grace is available to you.

4.    Your Decision To Choose Your Battles Wisely
A good general knows it’s a mistake to try and fight on too many fronts at once.  And the same is true in life. To avoid undue stress, you must refuse to let every little thing upset you. In other words, choose your battles wisely. Don’t make mountains out of molehills. 

You know you don’t have to attend every party you are invited to…you don’t have to participate in every argument that someone puts in front of you…you don’t have to become a part of another person’s drama.

Before you devote time, energy, and emotion to an issue, ask yourself how important it is, and how much of your time, effort, and energy is appropriate. Try to discern what really matters and focus on those things. Learn the differ

Bishop Barry Clardy is known for his love for God and people.  As a Spirit-filled visionary leader, he is committed to the focus of faith and family…He and Kimberly currently pastor the Princeton Pike Church of God in Hamilton Ohio where they have served for almost 20 years.  Here, he speaks regularly to 1200 attendees per week.  He and the church are on Facebook & Instagram. 

He currently serves on the Prestigious Church of God International Council of 18, as well as the Ohio Church of God State Council. In addition to pastoring, Barry serves as a mentor to leaders and continues to minister across the United States and around the world sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ with a passion for the lost and a conviction to see God’s Kingdom advanced.

Please welcome Bishop Barry Clardy

Questions:

Bishop, I want to chat “nuts and bolts” with you on a subject that is near to the heart of a lot of my listeners here at On Point Christian Magazine.  Like a deadly tornado, our society has been swept away by its arrogant redefinition of what’s right.   

And all over the internet are prophets, preachers, born-again politicians that are saying, “are we going to stand for this?”, “we must stand up!”, “let’s doing something about this.”  So, my question is…………….. What can we as Christians do??

·       We tried speaking with our vote…not sure what happened with the voting process this past year.

·       We have tried with our voices…we get censored……….currently Yahoo news is as one-sided, biased, partial, as I’ve ever seen it…….and at the end of articles where you would normally put a comment, it has been disabled.

·       We have tried with our protests…they put a fence up around the Capital!

·       I personally have tried to contact numerous government officials in NC to no avail…

·       DO WE HAVE A VOICE…and if not…what can we do to be heard?

Albert Schweitzer, the great Doctor and Nobel Prize winner was being interviewed in London and a reporter asked him, “Doctor, what’s wrong with men today?”  The great doctor was silent a moment, and then he said, “Men simply don’t think about their choices”

“In your moments of decision your destiny is shaped.”

 Life is a series of small decisions that, when pieced together, reveal themselves in the habits we form and the behaviors we exhibit.  Everyone can make the right decision once, but making the right decisions consistently is what separates the good from the great, the successful from the world-changers. You need to make the right decisions when you are at your best, but also when you are at your worst.

 Our brains are constructed with an internal system for making decisions. The frightening part is that most of us have not consciously created that system, it was done unconsciously through life events- childhood, parents, teachers, experiences, etc.

So we travel through life making decisions based on our internal decision-making system, not knowing if that system is founded on accurate principles or not.

 We don’t have to follow the programming of our past/somewhere upstream to control our present and future.

 It is your decisions, not your conditions that determine your destiny. 

1.   Consider the Consequences
This step can be just as important as step one because it will help you determine how your final decision will impact yourself, and/or others involved. In this step, you will be asking yourself what is likely to be the results of your decision. How will it affect you now? And how will it affect your future?

Consequences…root word is sequence which defined is a connected or continuous series of events…your decisions put into motion a connected or continuous series of events that can and often does last a lifetime, and most of the time will last for generations to come…  So, before you make a decision be sure you are ready for what it will set into motion.

2.   Identify Your Goal
One of the most effective decision-making strategies is to keep an eye on your goal. This simply means identifying the purpose of your decision by asking yourself what exactly is the problem that needs to be solved? And why does this problem need to be solved? 

 What’s the result you’re after? Why do you want to achieve it? You must be clear about what you're trying to accomplish and its importance to you. Visualize your goals and make sure that whatever you choose to experience is aligned with your values. 

Proverbs 29:18 “Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained But happy is he who keeps the law.”

3.   Seek Counsel
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

I’m sure you’ve heard this said to you as often as I have.  It’s a word of warning, usually from someone who’s gone before us and has the scar to show for why we would be wise to follow their counsel.

4.   Be Careful not to Make Your Decision Based on Your Emotions
Paul Scanlon – Emotions are data-not directives. 

Emotions are not to govern nor guide…they are not to be used for direction nor decree…

Most of us think if we feel good about a decision it is the right one…or if there is some type of emotion like anger, happiness, joyfulness, euphoria attached to it……..we can follow our emotions.

·      Emotions are the reflective indicator of the current condition of your heart, they are not necessarily a “sign” telling you which direction you should go.

In the Bible favor, or the lack thereof, was always exemplified in the workplace.

·      It was for Joseph in Potiphars house, and in the prison

·      It was for Ruth…she was spotted by Boaz as she worked in the field.

-The workplace is where you invest 50% of your awake hours…that is a huge investment.  Therefore, we must do good there.  My livelihood, my security, my families well-being, food on the table is at stake.

-Time is a clue to your future.  

“I’ve never met a poor man who valued time…I’ve never met a wealthy who didn’t.” – J. Paul Getty

-Time is what you trade for everything else you want…it is the currency for success.  Everything you have you became willing to exchange time for.  Time is irreplacable…money can be replaced, friends, things, cars, all can be replaced…but time………once it is wasted it is gone.  The workplace is an important place in your life because it is where you exchange your time for pay in order to obtain the things you want and need.  So, what has to happen in the workplace for you to receive unstoppable favor at my job??  What do I need to do to succeed there?

1.    Learn everything you can about your organization

-Study it’s history…learn your job description and while you are at work let the sun rise and set with it………What does your boss like…what does he dislike…how does he/she want things done…what kind of culture have they created there…how can you fit in…hey, you have given half of your life to it, the least you can do is learn it.  It is important to assess an environment before you enter it, it helps your understanding of it and helps you walk through it with clarity and purpose.

2.    Establish credibility with the credible

-Before Boaz ever had a meal with Ruth, the people he trusted had commended her (Ruth 2).  Ruth even asked, “Why are showing me such favor?”  Boaz said, “Well, my servants have told me about you.”  In chapter 3 he even says, “You’re quite a catch, everybody in town has told me about you.”  Do you know whose voice carries weight in the environment of your job?  Establish yourself with them.

3.    Admit mistakes quickly

-Don’t justify your mistakes…don’t give your boss the reason for the mistake or give an excuse for it…admit it happened and then tell him/her, “You’re right, I apologize, It won’t be happening again.” NOW YOU CAN GROW!

 4.    Answer the question asked you

-When your boss asks you a question don’t launch into a big life story that dances around the answer…they want to hear YES or NO.  For unstoppable success at your workplace become a skilled listener.  Bring all of you to the moment…Eccl. 9:10 “…whatever your hands find to do, do it with all of your might…”. Bring all of your attention and immersion to the conversation and answer the question.

5.    Know what your boss likes

-“Well, I don’t care what they like…”. Are you sure that’s smart?  After all, they are the one writing your pay check.  It is their office, their dream, their rules, and their company.

·      If they want a certain thing done a certain way…if they want emails sent a certain way…if they want orders taken a certain way…if they like the phones answered a certain way…DO IT!  Figure out what they like, and how they want things done, and do it that way.  If you don’t do things the way they want it done…there will always be an Esther waiting in the wings that will.

·      Joseph was so good at what he did he could look at a person’s face and tell there was something wrong…Gen. 40...When your boss asks you how you are going to do something…respond with, “The way you want it.”

·      Instru

Business (defined) is solving a problem for an agreed upon reward.  Business is an exchange…I give you the money you give me the car I want.  Business transactions occur all day, everyday in one form or another.  Business is an exchange…your boss says to you, “I am going to pay you X amount per hour and you in turn will solve this problem for me.”

 Proverbs 22:29 The Message Observe people who are good at their work—skilled workers are always in demand and admired;  they don’t take a backseat to anyone.

 Many religious leaders and institutions for years have had a tendency to view ministry and the marketplace as separate entities.  But, everything in life is ministry and your work is your ministry. With the measure of faith God has given you can make an impact for His Kingdom using the way you do business as a tool. 

The Gospel is …the person of Jesus and the principles of Jesus.  The King and the Kingdom…His Person creates your peace His principles create your prosperity.  Experiencing Him as savior will birth peace in your life…fulfilling His assignment in your life will require His teachings and principles.  Everybody is interested in going to heaven, but it may be a few a few years before you get there…meanwhile…So, let’s discuss a few of these principles in the 5 Business Secrets of Jesus.

1.    He Attracted Attention

-Jesus was always attracting attention…He first did it at the at of 12 in the temple…He did it riding through Jerusalem on a donkey…He did this by helping people solve their problems.  You have no business future if people do not know you’re there.  

2.    Jesus Knew What People Needed…Jesus knew His Customers

Who are your clients…who are your potential customers and what do they need.  Everybody may not need what you have.   You may have a surfboard shop where you are selling the world’s greatest surfboard; you probably shouldn’t set up a shop in the middle of the Sahara Desert…they don’t need you! 

3.   Jesus Stayed In the Center of His Expertise

-What do you do best!?  If you are a good salesperson you might not necessarily be a good manager…I’ve learned that one the hard way!  Try to keep most of your energy in the center of what you do best.

4.   Jesus Clearly Defined To Others The Problems He Could Solve For Them

Luke 19:10 For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost.    (Jesus was saying…”Guys here is exactly why I am here and what I can do for you.”)

5.    Jesus Mastered The Art of Listening

-Luke 2:46 And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions.

Jesus was such a Master conversationalist that one of His title is The Word…I know people who brilliant talkers but they haven’t mastered the ability too listen…and then again I know others that are awesome listeners but they don’t say anything in return.

This past Sunday across the United States and elsewhere churches observed Pentecost Sunday.  It's a day that, for many Christians, is as significant as Christmas and Easter.

Pentecost Sunday — which comes 50 days after Easter and hence the name “Pentecost,” which is a Greek word for “fifty” — 

Many see the outpouring of the Holy Spirit on the disciples of Jesus on the first Pentecost as the birth of the Church. Before His ascension, Jesus instructed His disciples not to leave Jerusalem but wait for “the gift my Father promised.” He added that they would receive power and be His witnesses in all Judea and Samaria and to the ends of the world when the Holy Spirit came on them, according to Acts 1:4, 8. This came true on the day of Pentecost…as Jesus made good on His promise! 

but with everything going on in the world is a discussion on “Pentecost” or the Holy Spirit even necessary let alone a day to celebrate it????   Is Pentecost still relevant today?

 Without question!

Habit Is A Gift From God.  Too often when someone thinks of the word habit, we think of bad habits, such as smoking, drinking, and taking drugs.

Habit simply means that anything you do twice becomes easier. You can create good habits just as you can begin wrong habits.”

 ·      Jesus had a habit of attending worship services. He went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day and stood up to read. “And He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up: and, as His custom was, He went into the synagogue on the sabbath day, and stood up for to read,” (Luke 4:16).

 ·      The Psalmist prayed seven times a day. “Seven times a day do I praise Thee because of Thy righteous judgments,” (Psalm 119:164).

 ·      Daniel had a habit of praying three times each day. “He kneeled upon his knees three times a day, and prayed, and gave thanks before his God, as he did aforetime,” (Daniel 6:10).”

 The difference in champions is their habits.  Champions Do Daily What Losers Are Only Willing To Do Occasionally.

        -The Secret To Your Future Is Hidden In Your habits. What You Do Daily Determines What You Will Become Permanently.

·      Your Success In Life Is Determined By The Habits You Develop.  Reading The Word Of God Daily Is The Greatest Success Habit You Could Ever Have

·      Greatness is completing God’s plan for me…completing God’s plan means different things to different people, therefore greatness is different for everybody.

·      Greatness is satisfying Divine expectations…greatness may not necessarily be driving a Cadillac or Rolls Royce (if that accomplishment doesn’t satisfy God’s expectations in your life).  

·      It is not necessarily being famous.  Greatness, as one of the blessings of God, is unlocked by divine principles. These principles are like keys that open doors. When you are without a key, greatness becomes a thing of struggle.

1.    Embrace the Word of God as Your Life Philosophy

·      You must walk through life as the Words of the Bible instruct you to.

·      You must make the Bible your database, opinion, belief system.

·      Not just a history-book, that merely contains or teaches history.  It just doesn’t contain the Word of God IT IS the Word of God.  It is the instruction book that God has given to us that teaches His principles 

2. Strive To Walk In Love

·      To walk in anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, and revenge is a complicated, heavy-load that will impede, delay, and even obstruct and stop you on your journey to greatness.

Hate is like acid. It can damage the vessel in which it is stored as well as destroy the object on which it is poured.  -Ann Landers

Love is a decision! In fact, it’s one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. 

3.You Must Identify and Accept The Divine Focus of the Immediate Season

-What is God trying to get me to focus on during this particular time in my life?  What time is it?  God’s supernatural work often follows a seasonal pattern.   If you’re not careful, you can miss the seasonal processes and the blessings that accompany them. These seasons impact everything in life: relationships, workplace, and connection with God. On your journey to greatness, it’s vital to recognize and partner with the flow of God’s work.  Spiritual Seasons will help you discern God’s unique seasonal movements and align yourself with Him so that you can receive every promise and provision released by His supernatural grace.