On Redemption

"I am wiser now / Knowing the difference of true and temporary strength / The sly spoke of new life / But a still small voice told me otherwise"

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"I knew what the God-man accomplished. I stared at Him, then at the pearls and back at Him again. I confidently shook my head no and returned to kissing my precious pearls. I had my earthly treasure."

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"We live in a society where we feel that as individuals, nothing can shape us or harm us. We are free thinkers only influenced by what we want to be influenced by. The reality is, that is totally false."

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“I don’t believe you have schizoaffective disorder. I am not even confident you are schizophrenic either.” With his statement, my face now mirrored his as I wrestled with his prognosis.

“Yes, you have described your symptoms. And the symptoms are all there, but your affect. The way you carry yourself. The articulation of your words. It does not match up.”

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"With gratefulness to Saphris, the dreams and visions stopped. In frustration, I lost my outlet to God. With appreciation to Saphris, I did not feel crazy. With criticism, I had no feelings to feel. With thankfulness to Saphirs, I did not feel suicidal anymore. In reality, I did not want to die because I already felt dead inside."

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"I settled into this reality. Simple explanations caused more psychological and spiritual damage than good. The pervasive black and white remarks about the spiritual state of homosexuals grieved me to suicide each day. And I found grace in Bryan’s remarks."

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Book Edits: Diego Vogel

"In frustration, I paced up and down the rural, dirt road and blurted out a question, 'What do I do with all of this gay stuff?' "

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Book Edits: Diego Vogel & Krissalyn Love

"i will fight for you

i will fight with you

as a fellow outcast, an outsider

i will not leave

your story won’t be unheard

your face won’t be erased

it is not your fault

the cup you have been given

is harder to swallow than most

still, i will fight for you

remember, your life is not forsaken"

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Book Edits: Diego Vogel

" In shock, I sat in a vehicle with a group of missionaries spewing homophobic jokes and rhetoric within the first minutes of getting acquainted. Images of self-destruction replayed in my mind as the hollow laughter bounced inside the van. Why did God let me come to this place?"

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Audio Edits: Mark Walz

Book Edits: Diego Vogel

"We kept each other company over hot cups of tea as our young minds wrestled with taking on any world problem together. I looked at her as if I knew her since my childhood. Our relationship felt innocent, safe and filled with kindness. Caroline felt like the half of me I had been searching for."

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Audio Edits: Mark Walz

Book Edits: Krisslynn Love + Diego Vogel